Suppressing sexuality

[holmgang]

One disconcerting trend I've seen (mostly in the software circles, where I do a lot of my work), is how sexuality is increasingly being suppressed. Case in point, this report from the SunshinePHP conference, detailing several complaints from female attendees, some of which were about simple verbal flirtation, and others about the nebulous “inappropriate touching” (which is so vague it could mean anything from ass-grabbing to trying to hold someone's hand). And this from a conference, where attendees hang out in swimwear together.

 

I find this level of sensitivity, where men aren't even allowed to express interest in a woman, without being castigated, stifling and terrifying – and desperately unhealthy. Trying to suppress any and all sexuality seems tantamount to denying gravity. It's a deep part of our instincts to mate, and for the man to be the more active part. That these instincts can (and should) be controlled is clear, but can we truly eliminate it, and what will the consequences be of pursuing this?

[Mister Mister]

yes, the sad thing is that this kind of shaming only works on nice guys who have empathy for women, guaranteeing that a disproportionate amount of men who make advances towards women are overly aggressive, creepy, etc... fulfilling the prophecy

[Malej_Pstros]

This is disgusting. Given the unintentional cringe from the way he's trying to spin it:

The Ugly

Yes, unfortunately there was some ugly. With the recent awareness of codes of conduct and with the increase in gender diversity there is bound to be more visibility as victims come forward rather than remaining hidden. 

... and then, with a supposedly straight face, follows it by "A guy invited two girls for a relax session, possibly meant sex. They refused. End of story", I'd say it's just all bullshit. He's obviously trying to make a drama out of nothing. I don't know anything about the guy, but I think this is pretty common sense: If he had anything serious to report on in this context, he wouldn't dilute it with this stuff. Like if somebody got seriously groped, he wouldn't be demeaning it by equating it with nonsense like this.

A guy takes a girl shopping outside of the con area. Is that how you grope people these days? Or is it the time when you make a potentially unwelcome advance. On a big conference with presumably crowds of drunk people every night. Gimme a break.

You grab her hand, you have sinned against the almighty vagina. You ask verbally, you have sinned against the almighty vagina. Woman make man feel bad. Man feel guilty and sorry and man easily manipulated by woman. Woman attract sympathy. Woman like that.

[ThomasTheIdealist]

Human males have both evolutionary instinct and social expectation to instigate when seeking a mate, while women take passive measures to be sought after.

 

It's primarily jealous factions of people that have twisted their reasoning to justify bashing males as being sexual predators and objectifying women, and shaming women for making themselves sexually desirable. Two sides of the same coin.

 

These social influences pale in comparison to the religious sexual suppression. From childhood we're taught that sex is something that should not be mentioned in casual company, something to hide, something to not experience without strict conditions, something dirty, and some of us are taught in religion that it's sinful and damning even if thought about.