Spumoni Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 Hey guys. Im feeling a bit uncertain after confronting my best friends fiancee about tagging her in a Peaceful Parenting video. Specifically Stefans last video in the Peace Parenting playlist on his youtube account. Im feeling bitter sweet because after listening to a podcast where a caller wanted to confront his family abuse it was determined it ultimately was up to him to say something because it would result in him finding a different kind of woman. It was very touching and I could hear the tone change from hopeless to hopeful when the caller realized he probably couldnt save those kids from further damage and yet telling his family spanking and yelling is not ok would probably create a big difference in his future partner. Arguably, it was this heartfelt podcast that gave me the courage to confront another friend on his roommate spanking kids in the background while we are trying to play video games together. I ran a little practice test of challenging and how to approach the abusers when my best friends fiancee relayed she was not so happy about the Temper Tantrum video I tagged her and 10 of my other friends in who have kids and would be interested in seeing. It came down to her saying "I am not going to debate you on this, when you come into our home this summer I will not have any undermining of our parenting methods while you are in town visiting." I was not completely shocked but I had already confronted them and linked the damage abuse causes children and yet they still hold true to rarely spanking and using a stern voice when necessary to discipline their child. I guess I came on here to drag this stuff into the light because after completing therapy over the past 9 months. Im happy to say this tool of dragging some of the darkest worries into the light keeps me sane and you all have been very supportive of my other posts in here. I get a great supportive and feel for the community unlike any other and I want to expose myself and my fiancee to that as much as possible before we plan on having children following our wedding in July! We live in Sweden thank God where the abuse is outlawed, even spanking, and Im set on raising my kids peacefully and learning so much more from Stefan and the support of this community. I will follow your advice and keep talking about the issues and continue spreading this information to those I care about in hopes that they will change their views and their children will thank them or wonder quite concernedly why they didnt listen to their good friends advice.. I had huge levels of adrenaline running through my system during this entire debate conversation with the abusers and Im happy to say my fiancee supports me 100% and I support her 100% too. We are committed all the way and wonder what lies in store for our future relationships if our current ones are so set on remaining war-like parents.. Are there any tips or advice for handling this? Thank you and if this is in the wrong section of the forum I will move it or it can be moved with my permission. Lots of love, Justin
Jaeger Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 Justin, First off congratulations on the up coming wedding. I'm so pleased to hear that you are going to be peaceful parents. As far as your war-like friends perhaps telling them that your intentions is not to attack or debate their parenting styles but out of genuine concern for them and their children you would like to show them a better way. Perhaps it will become easier once you are married and have children of your own to be able to convince other parents. Unfortunately to many couples will not take advice from a single person on parenting no matter how good the data is. A matter of pride I guess. 1
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