efioptv Posted March 26, 2016 Posted March 26, 2016 Really didn't see this day ever happen to me, but it did today. My mother used to and still lectures my sister about not hugging guys she met for a month or talk about sexual stuff, because it is a form of taking advantage of her. As for my issue, its about the sexual stuff. While I allowed by mother to read my chat log between a female friend, she notice a section of chat and began her lecture. The section begins when I joke about turning gay if I am 50years old and still haven't have a girlfriend. Then she asked me if I have a boyfriend, then would I be the aggressive one or the passive one. Yes, the question is really out of nowhere (or maybe not?). After a long talk, it really pushed me to think whether the world has degenerated a lot? to the point people can talk about sexual stuff this easily which including myself. Is it something that should be accepted as normal or should I push it back and declare this as bad and scrape any of this behavior inside me? Sorry if my post is scattered everywhere...[still haven't finish reading Real Time Relationship]
Crallask Posted March 26, 2016 Posted March 26, 2016 Aggressive or passive? What does that have to do with relationships other than shitty ones? You might be a guy who likes to pursue girls, but that doesn't mean you're aggressive. I don't try to intimidate ladies I fancy, I try to measure their capacity for holding conversations, empathy, test for self knowledge, qualities along those lines. Personally, I don't think that talking about the process that resulted in all of us being created is degenerate at all. It's all around us and most people have a tendency to pursue work to create a means of raising their value as a partner. The problem is violence. I don't see discussing sexuality as a problem, the real issue is that people can be reckless with sexuality because they can subvert their own stupidity by having other people pay for the consequences of their actions via the government. I also find myself viewing your mother as disingenuous when she pretends that a rush towards sexuality is men trying to take advantage of a girl. They're the ones with the vast majority of the power in that realm at a young age. Certainly the male would be viewing someone as a sex object if all he ever pushed for was sexual bonds, but generally females have the upper hand in this arena based on my observations. 1
efioptv Posted March 26, 2016 Author Posted March 26, 2016 Aggressive or passive? What does that have to do with relationships other than shitty ones? You might be a guy who likes to pursue girls, but that doesn't mean you're aggressive. I don't try to intimate ladies I fancy, I try to measure their capacity for holding conversations, empathy, test for self knowledge, qualities along those lines. Personally, I don't think that talking about the process that resulted in all of us being created is degenerate at all. It's all around us and most people have a tendency to pursue work to create a means of raising their value as a partner. The problem is violence. I don't see discussing sexuality as a problem, the real issue is that people can be reckless with sexuality because they can subvert their own stupidity by having other people pay for the consequences of their actions via the government. I also find myself viewing your mother as disingenuous when she pretends that a rush towards sexuality is men trying to take advantage of a girl. They're the ones with the vast majority of the power in that realm at a young age. Certainly the male would be viewing someone as a sex object if all he ever pushed for was sexual bonds, but generally females have the upper hand in this arena based on my observations. I do agree with you that she really tend to pretend she knows a lot. Using her culture applying it judge? nowaday's culture which is comparing the bad to the worst? I'm still figuring out what problem am i looking at...
Crallask Posted March 26, 2016 Posted March 26, 2016 I do agree with you that she really tend to pretend she knows a lot. Using her culture applying it judge? nowaday's culture which is comparing the bad to the worst? I'm still figuring out what problem am i looking at... Well, why would it be degenerate to be able to talk about sexual desires? It's degenerate compared to what? Her old culture? If so, what makes her old way proper? 1
efioptv Posted March 26, 2016 Author Posted March 26, 2016 Well, why would it be degenerate to be able to talk about sexual desires? It's degenerate compared to what? Her old culture? If so, what makes her old way proper? She specifically pointing talking about sexual stuff after knowing someone for a short period of time is bad. She told me even her friends who have been known for more than thirty years rarely talk about sexual stuff. Seems like the time is what she worries about...not long enough Degenerating compare to her era of youth? They were less open to talk about this kind of stuff between friends.
dsayers Posted March 26, 2016 Posted March 26, 2016 You're poisoning the well with the word degenerate. I would say that going from a time when humans pretended humans weren't sexual to suit a deity to a time when people can be honest is progress, not regress.
efioptv Posted March 26, 2016 Author Posted March 26, 2016 You're poisoning the well with the word degenerate. I would say that going from a time when humans pretended humans weren't sexual to suit a deity to a time when people can be honest is progress, not regress. What you suggest is the openess of discussing sexual topics is a progress to humanity since the avoiding the topic is denying our nature?
dsayers Posted March 27, 2016 Posted March 27, 2016 What you suggest is the openess of discussing sexual topics is a progress to humanity since the avoiding the topic is denying our nature? Is it natural to experience shame with regards to one's body/nudity/sexuality? I don't think so. I think those are inflicted from without, for the purpose of cultural norms. 1
efioptv Posted March 27, 2016 Author Posted March 27, 2016 Is it natural to experience shame with regards to one's body/nudity/sexuality? I don't think so. I think those are inflicted from without, for the purpose of cultural norms. i don't really get what you mean...
efioptv Posted July 15, 2016 Author Posted July 15, 2016 Is it natural to experience shame with regards to one's body/nudity/sexuality? I don't think so. I think those are inflicted from without, for the purpose of cultural norms. sorry took me too long to understand. (not very good at understand English) I did put it aside after waiting for your reply for a while. answer to your question, no, its not natural to feel shame. The feeling of shame is came from the culture of avoiding this type of topics. (rephrasing what you said ) Not sure if I am following the footsteps of my sister or it is really a natural thing. I have started talking about sexual stuff with a girl after knowing her for two months. It turns out much "in-dept" than what my sister have discuss with her friends (any friends). I guess it is really natural thing...
Recommended Posts