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Washington Post - "6 ways good parents contribute to their child’s anxiety"


shirgall

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https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/parenting/wp/2016/04/01/6-ways-good-parents-contribute-to-their-childs-anxiety/

 

Money shot:

 

 

Your child’s anxiety is not your fault, but it’s possible that some of the parenting practices you’re most proud of are actually making things worse.

 

The list:

  1. Caring too much
  2. Advocating too hard
  3. Compensating for weakness
  4. Overplaying strengths
  5. Having great values
  6. Hiding your troubles

I don't think the author has a lot of experience focusing on win-win with children...

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  This really hits home for me.  My mother does not deal with her own anxiety well, and treated me like a very valuable investment that had to be carefully managed towards the ends she had imagined for me, rather than a person with my own ends unimaginable to her.  She thought that if she could just nag me into eventually getting into a good college, I would flourish independently.  The fact that I eventually had a meltdown, and attempted to hide my failing grades from her was a total surprise that she probably still doesn't understand or take credit for her part in helping to create.  It has recently dawned on me how this constant management towards some idealistic ends is exactly the same mentality as socialist central planning.  The fact that she thought she knew what was best for her child and was horribly wrong, hasn't changed her mind in the slightest that she knows what is best for billions of people.

  I agree this article completely misses the point.  It doesn't get to the root of why parents act this way, and is instead likely to just cause more anxiety, that their behavior will create anxiety in the child.

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Your child’s anxiety is not your fault, but it’s possible that some of the parenting practices you’re most proud of are actually making things worse.

 

 

Wut? Its not your fault, but you are making things worse? So, its your fault then

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