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Posted

This is a pretty old article, but it does contradict Stefan's claims that the Trump household was spanking free. Although Ivanka has said it was her mother that was the disciplinarian, with no clear indication that Donald has spanked her as well, I do wonder if he condoned it or was one of the reasons why he divorced Ivana.

 

 

 

Ivana Trump, a model from Czechoslovakia whom Donald met at a popular singles hangout called Maxwell's Plum, instilled a certain worldliness in her daughter. "She was very much my cultural influence," Ivanka says, adding that Mom was also the disciplinarian, spanking her in public on a few occasions. "I guess it was for the typical stuff: I once broke a chandelier with a beach ball. That didn't go over well," she recalls. "And then I blamed it on my brother."

 

http://www.marieclaire.com/career-advice/tips/a105/ivanka-trump/

 

I'm not sure which video it is where Stefan says there was no spanking in the Trump household, but I am interested in seeing the citation where it has been discussed elsewhere beyond this one Marie Claire article.

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Posted

I've watched The Donald with his family and it is pretty clear to me that they fear his displeasure. Especially Don Jr.

 

I believe Don Jr. said something like "He will let you do what you want even if he doesn't agree but if it turns out to be a mistake he will never let you forget it." That may not be exactly the quote but pretty close. But the look on his face was the most telling thing. Don Jr. definitely did not like that outcome and likely avoided it as a child.

 

Spanking is not the only parenting technique that I disagree with. Just my observations and opinions of course. 

Posted

I've watched The Donald with his family and it is pretty clear to me that they fear his displeasure. Especially Don Jr.

 

I believe Don Jr. said something like "He will let you do what you want even if he doesn't agree but if it turns out to be a mistake he will never let you forget it." That may not be exactly the quote but pretty close. But the look on his face was the most telling thing. Don Jr. definitely did not like that outcome and likely avoided it as a child.

 

Spanking is not the only parenting technique that I disagree with. Just my observations and opinions of course. 

That's a little vague though.  It seems to me like good parenting would certainly involve reminding a child of their mistakes.  Rubbing their face in it, teasing or ridiculing them about it, borders on abusive though.  But I don't see proof that his children "fear his displeasure".  Seems to me like you're reading a lot into a facial expression.

Posted

I've watched The Donald with his family and it is pretty clear to me that they fear his displeasure. Especially Don Jr.

 

I believe Don Jr. said something like "He will let you do what you want even if he doesn't agree but if it turns out to be a mistake he will never let you forget it." That may not be exactly the quote but pretty close. But the look on his face was the most telling thing. Don Jr. definitely did not like that outcome and likely avoided it as a child.

 

Spanking is not the only parenting technique that I disagree with. Just my observations and opinions of course. 

 

That is how he treated people on the apprentice. He expects the best of people and doesn't tolerate preventable mistakes. That doesn't mean he abused his children though.

Posted

That's a little vague though.  It seems to me like good parenting would certainly involve reminding a child of their mistakes.  Rubbing their face in it, teasing or ridiculing them about it, borders on abusive though.  But I don't see proof that his children "fear his displeasure".  Seems to me like you're reading a lot into a facial expression.

 

Totally agree with your statement here. That's why I made it clear it was only an opinion. I was aware at the time of viewing the Trump family interaction and during my posting here that I have personal experience with a father with very high expectations and no forgiveness for mistakes when I didn't follow his advice. In my experience this was followed by his shock, disbelief and further "Why didn't you just do what I told you?" when we finally discussed why I had gone my own way against his advice, made massive mistakes, and then when I truly needed help because of those mistakes, I was unwilling to ask for it from him. I was unwilling to face bringing shame on the myself and him and the subsequent loss of his love. Pretty dark time in my life. He only took responsibility for his part near his death last year. 

 

And I agree that just because that behavior was threatening to me personally it in no way indicates Trump abused his kids in the same way. Just sharing my experience I think. Trump reminds me so much of my father in the way that he interacts and speaks. I loved my father beyond belief and wanted him to be proud of me. I was horrible to myself when I failed to meet the expectations I internalized. 

 

My point is that you can never really know what is going on behind closed doors. However, I will say that the Trump children have succeeded where I and my siblings failed so not the same situation.

 

I'm working on a podcast series now about how women internalize shame to a much greater degree than men. It adversely affects them when internalized and pours out externally in a very destructive way. And now that women have been turned loose on society, the excess of shame is destroying America and western civilization as a whole. I hope to turn back the tide in some small way. We women need to return to the home and concentrate on raising girls with a healthy perspective on shame. There is a time and place for it. The power to change the world lies at home with raising children at peace with themselves.

 

Sorry that turned into little more than I had planned and got a bit off topic. Thanks for the feedback. It is appreciated. 

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