Anders Hansson Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 Hi I'm trying to work on self knowledge. I think a lot about my childhood and have gone to see a psychologist about five times. The plan is to see her twelve times for now. Overall I just have a few interactions from my childhood or teenage years that I feel really bad about. Now I'm thinking if I should contact these people to talk about it or if that would just be weird since it was at least twenty years ago and I have no contact with most of them. I definitely learned from these interactions and I consider myself to have a big conscience. If I look back and understand that I did something wrong I would never do it again. The few that I do have contact with, my brothers for example, I have started talking to and let them know that I feel bad about it. What do you think I should do about these people from my childhood? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danske Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 Hi I'm trying to work on self knowledge. I think a lot about my childhood and have gone to see a psychologist about five times. The plan is to see her twelve times for now. Overall I just have a few interactions from my childhood or teenage years that I feel really bad about. Now I'm thinking if I should contact these people to talk about it or if that would just be weird since it was at least twenty years ago and I have no contact with most of them. I definitely learned from these interactions and I consider myself to have a big conscience. If I look back and understand that I did something wrong I would never do it again. The few that I do have contact with, my brothers for example, I have started talking to and let them know that I feel bad about it. What do you think I should do about these people from my childhood? I think you have to decide on a case by case basis. A lot of people nowadays are predisposed to play the victim and make an emotional mountain out of a molehill. If you think an apology is going to backfire and give them fuel for their victim mentality I'd avoid it. Same goes for anyone you feel is likely to use it as a stick to beat you with. When I apologised to my brother he immediately aggressively apologised back (virtue signalling 'if you can apologize then so can I!' oneupmanship) before again launching into a diatribe about how I'm treating my family like shit by being away from them. In this case, I feel better than I apologized, but it didn't register at all for him emotionally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AccuTron Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 A person might be receptive, or disinterested, but at least you'll learn something. Closure is better if you know what it is that's being closed. Someone from long ago might value the conversation, and as long as you avoid stalkers, I don't see an obvious downside. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anders Hansson Posted May 12, 2016 Author Share Posted May 12, 2016 Thanks for the thoughts. Maybe I'll focus on the people that I plan on having a relation with in the future. That is where I can see an obvious upside to the discussion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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