Introversion?

[Kalden]

Recently I became a bronze donor to this wonderful experiment in philosophy, and I've been going through some of the bronze files. I came across this one recently:

https://board.freedomainradio.com/files/file/115-preparing-for-launch/

(Can't access it? Donate!  )

and Stefan said something which really got me thinking. About 1/4 of the way in, the listener speaks about how he is an introvert, which he thinks is a contributing factor as to why he can't get his life 'off the ground', so to speak, and Stefan replies, "if you are introverted, the last place you want to be is at home, because if you are introverted then it may have something to do with the way that you were raised. So if you're at home, you're going to be continually exposed to the same environment that contributed to your introversion." Stefan also later expresses his sympathy for the listener being an introvert, which implies that introversion is a negative thing (I'm not saying it isn't, that's what I'm asking about). 

 

So my question is this: are introversion and extroversion even real things? Or do all people who had decent childhoods naturally turn out as what we call extroverts, and what we call introversion is just a negative effect of a poor childhood? If this is the case, is childhood always the deciding factor? If this is not the case, is introversion necessarily a bad thing?

 

I'm asking because I am what you might call an introvert myself. I abhor any kind of social interaction - I don't even answer my phone if some one is calling me, or answer the door when some one is knocking, so by asking this question I am trying to glean how broken I am in personality, how I might have turned out if I'd had a good childhood, and how to fix myself if I am indeed broken.

[AccuTron]

I don't answer my phone or door unless it's my cousin calling or the postman has something to sign.  Everyone else is just marketing something I absolutely don't want.  So don't think it's a bad thing to do.  Also, it strikes me as a larger metaphor:  "Something I absolutely don't want."  Your suspected introversion might have components that make good sense, even be protective.

[Danske]

For me, introversion is just a side-effect of being continually thwarted at every stage of emotional development. It breeds a passive, weakened will, where one needs to continually consolidate a lot of ego-strength in order to do something risky, social or socially risky.

I think a better environment in the future can help. But it's extremely difficult once life has given you these habits.

[aviet]

introversion ... It breeds a passive, weakened will, where one needs to continually consolidate a lot of ego-strength in order to do something risky, social or socially risky.

 

This is a perfect statement.

 

I suffer[ed] tremendously with debilitating risk aversion. It's only by chance and extreme circumstance that I have not ended up living at home with my parents in near complete isolation.

 

I've been lucky in that I was able to do one thing on my own that has given me some confidence in myself -  I've built a business from nothing that puts me in the top 0.2% of earners in my home country; probably < 0.01% in the other country I live in. Yet I still live with my father.

 

Achieving something, particularly if you have something substantive to show for yourself will be a big boost. I think financial success is probably the best. Although I still have problems with people. This alone has had a considerable affect on my confidence in talking to people. I don't even talk about my financial success with people I meet, but just knowing it gives me more confidence - that I have some value - not just a boy sitting at home.

 

In terms of people, throwing yourself out there will help, though I know it can be difficult to find an area to do that, especially if you are from a small town or village. Last year I went to a very poor and depressed country and at first was petrified with its strangeness and strange people. Then I had to cycle over 1,000 km through several countries with no mobile phone. The possibility of being stranded or left without food or money was a real possibility that I was surprised never happened. I didn't bother to plan any of my routes until the night before and in some cases had little idea where I was going. I typically had only a few hours sleep before each journey, some of which were mentally stressful due to mild injury, dangerous roads, abysmal roads and a huge 15kg load on my back. On the way I stayed at about ten places on AirBnB and CouchSurfing and had some good experiences with that in terms of interacting with people.

 

It may not sound stressful to an extrovert adventurer, but for someone who had spent their entire life at home, it was a big challenge. One of my favourite quotes of Molyneux is 'resistance builds strength'. And this odd journey has built some strength. When I go again this year, I will be more excited than worried.

 

So if you are an introvert, all I can say is - challenge yourself. Once you challenge yourself a little, bigger challenges will appear that you can convince yourself you need to tackle. A short bit of travelling on CouchSurfing would be a good start. As for finance, if you don't have a job, look around for one that you think might have some scope for advancement and learning skills. Or start your own business. Several years ago, a friend in a similar situation asked me if I wanted to start a gardening enterprise. I refused, because I thought it was below me. It was, but other than the fact it could have negated my present situation, it would have been better than being at home all day.

 

I think many people are highly introverted, but they are able to wheedle their way into a social strata and find a place there that gives them confidence in that strata. Take them out of it and push them into an alien social strata and they will have big problems adapting.

[Pod]

Don't you just feel an intense joy when you're alone at your house?  Like when the parents leave you just scream hallelujah and for that couple hours you feel like yourself?

[Queensalis]

I always heard the definitions to be mainly about where do you energize and what tires you: alone time or time with people.

Nothing in this said that these introverts can't talk to people, only that they need some rest in between to get their thoughts in order and stuff, on a lone walk, reading a book, listening to their music, getting some work done

Extroverts then would be people who need often contacts with others to function and get their energy from chatting, joking, mingling and socialising. 

Wouldn't that make introverts more independent, being able to draw strength from themselves, comfortable with solitude, less likely to get themselves in bad situations because of peer pressure or desperation for some kind of contact?

As a kind of introvert myself I would advise you to see contact as something that, while possibly uncomfortable and maybe bothersome, needs to be done and when done right, carries profit, and meet small groups of people (I could spend more time comfortably with a single person than a group of absorbing people demanding conversing attention). Prepare yourself mentally beforehand, that might help to re-energize more effectively and have more to "spend" on the interactions and get you needed exercise of that skill.

 

I don't think there is turning introverts to extroverts as the latter tend to organise their lives from meeting to meeting, with all the life being only interruptions that need to be dealt with with introverts usually see it quite the opposite way. In a way, they're different forms of life.