Abzo Dolba Posted May 27, 2016 Share Posted May 27, 2016 One of Stefan's latest videos "An Important Message About Gord Downie of Tragically Hip" summons a point he made numerous times before. The one I am talking about is the "nameless aunt" that he refers in the video. He then advises us "do not be that aunt". This brings me to his advice on how to avoid a life unlived...or how to find passion and motivation in life...his exercise in imagination for this is to imagine yourself on the deathbed and think about your life in retrospective and all of the things that you could have regretted not doing. I have also heard Mike, on several occasion bring this "what would you like to be written on your tombstone" as his primary tool for taking the hard, anxiety provoking steps towards getting out of his former way of life. I resonate with this feeling at some level but to me...there is something incomplete about it. Someone couple of hours, minutes or seconds away from death is kind of the same regardless of how he lived his life, that is...someone moments away from nonexistence. Sure, that man could either be a horrendous person, someone who had a passive and avoidant life or a man that left a legacy behind, it makes a huge difference for those behind him but from his perspective in that very last moments...he could have been anyone else, how could it longer matter now anyways? I am trying to empathize with someone who on that death bed has lots of regrets and unfulfilled wishes...why would it matter to him now? I have always imagined death as not only passing into nonexistence...rather passing into not ever existence since from a death's person perspective it would have been no difference for him whether he ever existed or not. I do not really know why I made this thread...I just felt like sharing this with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Crowe Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 It's just a way to connect with feelings of life and death. The fact of our mortality is what people avoid bitterly. Towards the end it's a bit difficult to pretend it's not happening. lol A good book on it is "The Denial of Death" by Dr. Ernest Becker What will they say about you if you died tomorrow? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dsayers Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 I think you underestimate how much it would weigh on a person knowing that they didn't do enough and now it is too late. I speak as a man who spent the lion's share of the last decade not applying myself. I've been agonizing over this that past half year and taking many steps to make sure I don't squander all the time that I have left. I am extremely thankful that I came to this realization while I still have a good amount of time left. Also, living the good life now means that if you're fortunate enough to have a death bed, it will be a time of joy as you're able to say goodbye to all the beautiful connections you've made or perhaps even created. It's so very important to embrace and cling to that which brings you happiness and not throw it away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abzo Dolba Posted June 21, 2016 Author Share Posted June 21, 2016 I think you underestimate how much it would weigh on a person knowing that they didn't do enough and now it is too late. I speak as a man who spent the lion's share of the last decade not applying myself. I've been agonizing over this that past half year and taking many steps to make sure I don't squander all the time that I have left. I am extremely thankful that I came to this realization while I still have a good amount of time left. Also, living the good life now means that if you're fortunate enough to have a death bed, it will be a time of joy as you're able to say goodbye to all the beautiful connections you've made or perhaps even created. It's so very important to embrace and cling to that which brings you happiness and not throw it away. In all likelihood you still have as many years to live from now on as you had till now. How would you reply to this thread if today you were 80? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dsayers Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 How would you reply to this thread if today you were 80? I don't understand the question. The value of living your life as if you only have one to live and it won't last forever is sound advice for all of humanity even after I perish as it was before I was born. I'm not a variable in that equation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Crowe Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 Overmind: That is a good question to ask. I know you asked dsayers but what I imagine I would say at 80 would be something like: I am afraid to die now and I was afraid to live how I wanted then. Even though I understand that I was hamstrung as a youngster I keep wondering if there were things I could do in the past that would make me feel more at ease in old age. This ambivalence is difficult to deal with. Everyone around me thinks that I have done well but they could be just trying to make me feel better. So, I believe I have done well too despite my limitations and people working counter to me. I will continue working to understand this and to help anyone else that may stop and have a conversation with me. What would you say? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abzo Dolba Posted June 24, 2016 Author Share Posted June 24, 2016 I don't understand the question. The value of living your life as if you only have one to live and it won't last forever is sound advice for all of humanity even after I perish as it was before I was born. I'm not a variable in that equation. If you were 80, would you still care that you wasted your life? (if you did) Sure, at 40 of course you still have a lot of incentives to better your life because you still have 30-40 years ahead of you. Overmind: That is a good question to ask. I know you asked dsayers but what I imagine I would say at 80 would be something like: What would you say? 80 was a relative thing, I chose it because it is when most people are not expected to live more than 1 year or so after this. Instead of 80 I should have said on the deathbed, couple of hours before you die. You are littlerally hours away from not being aware that you have ever existed. What difference would it make that you led a good life or a bad life in those moments? You might have some painful regrets compared to maybe feeling that you achieved something but after that...it it not all the same? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dsayers Posted June 24, 2016 Share Posted June 24, 2016 If you were 80, would you still care that you wasted your life? (if you did) If I had wasted 80 years, I would be so alone and experience the worst kind of dread knowing that my time was up and I had wasted so much opportunity. Yes, I would find a bit of solace in knowing that childhood abuse sent me down the wrong path to begin with. But that would quickly turn into sorrow and rage that such things could have such a devastating ripple effect. As it is, over the past almost 8 months, I continue to become increasingly angry as I see the ways in which these ripple effects are so powerful so far down the road in the lives of the people I care about. I am extremely grateful that I still have that much more time and will be using it to try and offset as much of that as possible in my life, the lives of those I care about, and indeed the world at large. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts