Sexchats

[NinaS03]

Hey strangers,

I currently text with guys over the internet and get payed by them. I was on an online chatroom and one guy asked me if I would have sex chats with him and he offered to pay me for that. I first thought that is was immoral and wrong. Then he explained his situation where he is in at the moment. This specific guy is my age (20) and virgin and had never any physical contact with a girl before. He tries to get to know the female gender and the way he can express his sexuality. Do you think it will help him in the future? I thought it is a nice idea to help him out, but I also try to save money at the moment so I felt like it is a good idea. Other guys contacted me and wanted to meet and I told them about chatting and getting payed for that. I also send pictures and videos of my naked body. Do you think it is wrong to take money for that? I never chat with guys who told me they were in a relationship or even have children. I always try to get to know the person I am chatting with and helping them where I can. Is it an immoral thing in general or okay to express sexuality that way? And I also think I do these things because I like it to get adored by males.

[Eh Steve]

You've expressed some sexual abuse by your boyfriend including filming.  This isn't a matter of morality at all.  This is a matter of psychology.

 

I'm not a psychologist, I'd really recommend talking to a professional.  It is quite possible that this is a symptom of someone who has been sexually abused.  I'm pretty concerned you may only feel valued for your body and only know how to be appreciated/adored for your body.  Based off of the last post and this one I imagine you are dealing with your last relationship with your boyfriend and possibly something with your father here.

 

You've expressed a fear of men, sexual abuse by a male, and now you are sexually entertaining men from a safe distance.  This certainly isn't anything to do with morality... But from a psychological perspective these are areas you really need to consider exploring with a professional.  I am pretty concerned you have normalized the way your boyfriend treated you and are continuing those behaviors now.

 

This honestly frightens me for your well being more than many posts and issues I read about here.  This behavior isn't immoral, but it is pretty deeply concerning considering what you have shared about the likely cause of it.  My fear is that you are repeating and stuck within a behavior pattern you developed while being abused.  And while I don't wish to shame you or moralize you in any at all I am very concerned about this.  I don't believe saying "don't do that" is at all an appropriate response to most behaviors, I think it would be very helpful for you to talk with a therapist about the abuse you have been through.  I simply can't recommend it enough for the situation you are in and have been in.

 

My deepest sympathies Nina.  I really strongly encourage you to talk with a professional about these issues.  Not from a "You must not do that" standpoint, but simply because you've been through quite a bit of trauma and exploring that with a sympathetic person will really help you.

 

I hope this helps in someway Nina, I really do.  I'm genuinely quite concerned for your well being.

[MysterionMuffles]

This has nothing to do with morality, but self respect.

[Wuzzums]

Like the above said, you're not initiating force therefore it's not immoral.

 

The way I see it you're using your assets in the same way a rich guy spends money on his friends. At some point the rich guy will be surrounded by people who are only there for the money because they will push the other people out with the numbers alone. So don't sell yourself short, think about who will be left in his life if the rich guy runs out of money.

I would also caution you not fooling yourself into thinking you're somehow helping other people, you're just there for the money as they are just there for your looks. Just a basic transaction.

[Des]

Hey strangers,

Hi Nina

 

Have any of these men ever asked about your childhood?

[NinaS03]

No they never asked about my childhood or talked about any other topic than sex, only if I guided them to other topics.

Thanks for all the answers they opened my eyes! I think the problem is that I always think that guys like me if they just like my body and are not really interested in me. Its the only way to get the guys attention, because I dont get any attention from my dad, so i seek somewhere else.

[regevdl]

Hey strangers,

I currently text with guys over the internet and get payed by them. I was on an online chatroom and one guy asked me if I would have sex chats with him and he offered to pay me for that. I first thought that is was immoral and wrong. Then he explained his situation where he is in at the moment. This specific guy is my age (20) and virgin and had never any physical contact with a girl before. He tries to get to know the female gender and the way he can express his sexuality. Do you think it will help him in the future? I thought it is a nice idea to help him out, but I also try to save money at the moment so I felt like it is a good idea. Other guys contacted me and wanted to meet and I told them about chatting and getting payed for that. I also send pictures and videos of my naked body. Do you think it is wrong to take money for that? I never chat with guys who told me they were in a relationship or even have children. I always try to get to know the person I am chatting with and helping them where I can. Is it an immoral thing in general or okay to express sexuality that way? And I also think I do these things because I like it to get adored by males.

It's not immoral if no force is involved and eveyrone is honest and upfront and in aggreance. 

 

I am not sure how you vett and enforce your standards.  you mentioned you wouldn't take clients if they have children/partner...but couldn't they just say 'no' so you will take them on as a client?  I get that some tell you upfront they are in a relationship and that's good at least that they are forthcoming but if it's an important standard, then make sure you have a way to make sure they aren't lying to you...and when it doubt....don't take them on.  If you aren't sure but have suspicions....best not to take them on as a client.

 

AGain...morality isn't an issue but doesn't automatically mean it's advisable.  

 

To answer your question about the virgin.  No.  it's unlikely to help him 'be with a woman'.  That takes practice with a woman in presense of him physically.  No matter how awkward and intimidating.  Clearly these men or the case with the virgin has no one in his life (parents/siblings/friends) that he feels comfortable or is able to gain useful knowledge about sexuality.  And only having a sexual conversation with him will only teach or prime him that woman are sexual tools.  If they are not reciprocating the conversation to deeper matters (and understandably so) then it has nothing with helping him  women other than using them as masturbatory devices.  

 

If you want to be honest with yourself and are ok withing running your body image and sexual language skills for that type of help, that's your call.  But if you want to actually help people gain knowledge on how to deeply connect more than sex with each other....you probably need to clear up your own demons first.

 

Typcailly pepole who 'sell' their body have a low self-value for themselves.  That could have come from abuse or trauma.  I don't have my great figure anymore but even still I simply cannot put a dollar value on my body, regardless of how many men would want it.  I am not saying that as a judgement but just to let you know, this idea and how you justify it as a money-savings plan exposes to people how low you think of yourself and you need the dollars and clients approval to prop up any shred of self esteem.  It's not sustainable and it's very risky emotionally and psychologically as eh steve pointed out.  

 

I was hypersexual when I was young and prime and had an emotionally distant father.  This is a classic symptom.  So...my point to you and for you to ask yoruself is.... how do you feel about profiting off of your symptoms rather than healing your symptoms and deep hurt and yearning which will provide you with far more valuable or invaluable profits and genuine self esteem.