NotDarkYet Posted July 5, 2016 Posted July 5, 2016 Has anybody noticed patterns in female (or male) online dating profiles? --- Simply from seeing ONE profile picture, I can almost always guess if she's a toxic female. If she looks bitchy, unhappy, and has tatoos (or crazy colored hair, or piercings) it's almost certain that her profile will reference something about.... - Feminism - How "salty" or "strong willed" she is. - Her love of animals - Her love of NPR - Veganism - Her love of Bars - What a man needs to do ("Take me to do something wild") - What a man needs to be ("You need to be tall") - What she doesn't want in a man (in a cruel way - like "no pussies") - What a man should talk to her about ( "Do NOT ask me what I did this weekend, be more original") I despise these profiles. Random story: I met a female years ago at a party and she insulted all the men around her - it was like nothing I'd ever seen. Sure enough, guess who I saw on Tinder? HER! And sure enough, she's a self described feminist/vegan with "very philanthropic tendencies" 1
EclecticIdealist Posted July 5, 2016 Posted July 5, 2016 Perhaps some women have had such shity experiences from men that they have learned to apply the shit test and most modern men fail. This type of woman has always been around, she's not a new creation of modern society. One need look no further than Shakespeare's "The Taming of the Shrew" and a number of his other plays to recognize this fact. It's not about neo-Feminisim, it's about female self-empowerment and the war of the sexes. It's about a strong, self-assured, self-made woman whose proper partner is a man to conquer the world with, not boy in need of mothering. Don't get things twisted and mistake feminism for female empowerment. Unfortunately, all too many modern women mistake feminism for female self-empowerment, as there isn't a large, strong female self-empowerment movement to counter the modern, emasculating, anti-male neo-Feminism which seeks to dominate men rather than partner with them as equals. 1 1
shirgall Posted July 5, 2016 Posted July 5, 2016 Just remember that females get a heck of a lot more inquiries than they send on dating sites. They have to use ways to quickly get to "no" or they get overwhelmed.
dsayers Posted July 5, 2016 Posted July 5, 2016 I haven't gotten around to the online profile thing (yet). However, I think I would appreciate being able to determine so quickly that there's no match there. Would save me precious time and effort
Wuzzums Posted July 5, 2016 Posted July 5, 2016 Have you ever seen a happily married couple whose story begins with "I met him/her on OKCupid"? 1 1
shirgall Posted July 5, 2016 Posted July 5, 2016 Have you ever seen a happily married couple whose story begins with "I met him/her on OKCupid"? I have a funny one: my current wife saw my match.com profile before we met, and didn't like my profile. She didn't realize it was me when we met later, but eventually remembered.
Boohickey11 Posted July 5, 2016 Posted July 5, 2016 Have you ever seen a happily married couple whose story begins with "I met him/her on OKCupid"? Not married yet but girlfriend of 5 years would say we are very happy! 1
dsayers Posted July 5, 2016 Posted July 5, 2016 Have you ever seen a happily married couple whose story begins with "I met him/her on OKCupid"? I've never met anybody with HIV, or restless leg syndrome, etc. I don't think this is sufficient as evidence, even if an absence of evidence was evidence of absence.
Wuzzums Posted July 5, 2016 Posted July 5, 2016 Not married yet but girlfriend of 5 years would say we are very happy! Get back to me when you're married, then. Until then I stand by what I said.
Thus_Spake_the_Nightspirit Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 Have you ever seen a happily married couple whose story begins with "I met him/her on OKCupid"? My cousin married a woman he met on a dating site. They have four kids and seem pretty happy together from what I can tell.
rosencrantz Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 A good friend met his wife (they have a daughter) on a dating platform.
Eh Steve Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 I have noticed that pattern NotDarkYet. At the same time, I usually just ignore the people I don't like. And I'm a bit averse to normie bashing. To me it helps to think of myself as a foreigner critiquing some other culture or backwards tribe. Rather than someone stuck within that tribe complaining about the quality of the women-folk. I'm north of san francisco so the pattern you describe is uhhh a bit more common here than a few areas I've lived in the past I prefer to just think about what I want in a girlfriend / wife and focus on what that person is like, where it would make the most sense to meet them, and what I need to do to have a relationship flourish. With a clearer picture and plan in mind for that I find dealing with the rest of society less annoying. Sort of applies for many areas in life.
dsayers Posted July 7, 2016 Posted July 7, 2016 where it would make the most sense to meet them The internet has all but rendered geography obsolete. Also, if we avoid going here or there because we assume that only poor stock frequents there, we make it a self-fulfilling prophesy. Both for ourselves and that special somebody that really wanted to meet you tonight. To me, a lifetime of happiness and virtuous love are worth every effort. Do whatever you can to achieve it and once you find it, never let it go. Problems call for solutions, not the end of the story. 2 1
brucethecollie Posted July 8, 2016 Posted July 8, 2016 When a meet a female and wonder if we could be friends, I get a lot of guidance from her Facebook profile. Those are all red flags to me lol
wdiaz03 Posted July 9, 2016 Posted July 9, 2016 Has anybody noticed patterns in female (or male) online dating profiles? --- Simply from seeing ONE profile picture, I can almost always guess if she's a toxic female. If she looks bitchy, unhappy, and has tatoos (or crazy colored hair, or piercings) it's almost certain that her profile will reference something about.... - Feminism - How "salty" or "strong willed" she is. - Her love of animals - Her love of NPR - Veganism - Her love of Bars - What a man needs to do ("Take me to do something wild") - What a man needs to be ("You need to be tall") - What she doesn't want in a man (in a cruel way - like "no pussies") - What a man should talk to her about ( "Do NOT ask me what I did this weekend, be more original") I despise these profiles. Random story: I met a female years ago at a party and she insulted all the men around her - it was like nothing I'd ever seen. Sure enough, guess who I saw on Tinder? HER! And sure enough, she's a self described feminist/vegan with "very philanthropic tendencies" Some of these are red flags for me, but the last point I completely understand and don't consider it as bad. I have a friend that gets flooded with short messages like "Sup beautiful,what are you up to?" Maybe these men are casting their net far and wide and rather not invest a lot of time on a detailed response? there was this one guy how took her profile and used each of her points in his reply to emphasize how compatible they were while adding nothing original. There's this other friend that was dating a vegan and even moved in with her for a while. she would not allow any meat at her house, so he had to go out to eat meat. Her house her rules I guess. This is like finding a needle in a haystack, and there's a lot of hay out there,
KeepOnGoing Posted August 20, 2016 Posted August 20, 2016 I've done in the past some online dating and I can't recommend it. Maybe I wasn't lucky enough or I've chosen the wrong type of men but it didn't work out. Dating online is like looking for a love in a club or in a bar. Same people looking for sex, switching partners constantly. The chance of finding someone valuable in that kind of crowd is very low. I think the best way to meet someone is to figure out what you are looking for in this other person but also I think it's very important to have something in common, similar interests etc. My female cousin use online dating and her experience it's pretty similar to mine but she is still doing it. I guess it benefits her in some way. I told her to be honest with guys and to say what she wants in relationship. No time to waste for silly games and especially if she wants to have kids (she is 35 years old). People are afraid to be honest but who they really are will come out sooner or later so what is the point of lying in the first place? It's very hard to find suitable partner and we have to be picky because it's not only for ourselves but especially for our future children. 1
kavih Posted August 20, 2016 Posted August 20, 2016 I prefer to just think about what I want in a girlfriend / wife and focus on what that person is like, where it would make the most sense to meet them, and what I need to do to have a relationship flourish. With a clearer picture and plan in mind for that I find dealing with the rest of society less annoying. Sort of applies for many areas in life. How long have you been doing this Steve and any luck? I had an online profile for about 2 years on OKC. I took it down in January (I think) of this year because those 2 years of letting it's algorithm do it's thing while I searched in person and on the site were excruciating. It's probably because I live in such a liberal area, that finding someone virtuous nearby is very challenging, both online and in person. Even broadening my search to globally was still very unproductive... so many AnComs. I've done in the past some online dating and I can't recommend it. Maybe I wasn't lucky enough or I've chosen the wrong type of men but it didn't work out. Dating online is like looking for a love in a club or in a bar. Same people looking for sex, switching partners constantly. The chance of finding someone valuable in that kind of crowd is very low. That's an interesting perspective (the female one) about men on dating sites. Do the majority of men on there really come off that irresponsible (Re: "looking for sex, switching partners constantly")? I wonder what kind of affect that has on genuinely virtuous men on there. 1
KeepOnGoing Posted August 21, 2016 Posted August 21, 2016 I think it's very similar with men and women these days. I spoke also with my male friends on this subject and they confirmed it. Maybe it is different on some religious dating sites. I think we are pretty equal when it comes to dating. People are desperate, lonely and many of them are damaged and they don't even realize it. So they take what's available surprised that it didn't work out and they are left with the feeling of resentment. If I knew what I know now I would never use online dating again. Not so sure if it was a good idea to use it back then. I should go to a therapist rather than to jump into dating so early after ending very bad relationship. I guess sometimes it's better to learn the hard way than not learn at all. 1
kavih Posted August 21, 2016 Posted August 21, 2016 I spoke also with my male friends on this subject and they confirmed it. So, are your male friends looking for sex and switching partners constantly? If so, I think you should get new friends. I should go to a therapist rather than to jump into dating so early after ending very bad relationship. I guess sometimes it's better to learn the hard way than not learn at all. Sorry to hear about the bad relationship. Since it looks like you're new to the forums, I think you'll be able to get some sound feedback here, as you process things. For children that grow up not being modeled what a loving, healthy relationship looks like between a man and a woman (via their parents), it's terrible that they have to "learn the hard way." So, I hope you really do find a professional to help you process the reason you had such a bad relationship. I've been in therapy for 9 months now and have realized why I used to be attracted to such harsh and exclusively physically attractive women, because of the childhood trauma inflicted by my mother. Maybe this article from my friend Kathryn will help, if you haven't already read it: https://board.freedomainradio.com/topic/47143-why-youre-not-going-to-therapy/#entry430813
KeepOnGoing Posted August 21, 2016 Posted August 21, 2016 Those friends are long gone just like many other people that I knew. They just didn't make it. I think it was part of a natural process which followed my personal growth. For children that grow up not being modeled what a loving, healthy relationship looks like between a man and a woman (via their parents), it's terrible that they have to "learn the hard way." So, I hope you really do find a professional to help you process the reason you had such a bad relationship. it's true but we can't change the past, the trick is to find out why do we do certain things and how not to make the same mistakes again. I've learned my lesson for sure. Mothers... they give you life and they can take it away if you let them. But hey, I've heard stories about good mothers that they don't cripple their children. They are out there... somewhere 1
kavih Posted August 22, 2016 Posted August 22, 2016 Ah, so you've already been in therapy then. I misunderstood. Glad to hear it
Frosty Posted August 22, 2016 Posted August 22, 2016 Has anybody noticed patterns in female (or male) online dating profiles? Yes, quite a few. I didn't track stats but rather this is my honest impression after browing probably thousnads of profiles over the years. Women are far more likely to list what they want from a man than describe themselves, confirming they're more interested in what men can do for them (make them laugh, take them on holiday etc) than who they are. The idea that you can spot the feminists and SJWs by things like bright hair and facial piercings and being overweight is basically confirmed. The women done up in a lot of makeup and/or showing cleavage tend to not even bother filling out profiles about them which indicates to me they're shallow and only interested in looks Things like tattoos and pictures that show attitude tend to be from women who have similar profiles full of attitude and all the red flags of having a bad relationship with their father, even to the point where i've literally seen "things I hate - my father" in profiles. Probably the saddest thing of all is that virtues and lack of most of the above tends to occur on profiles of women who are religious, more specifically christian or some denomination, which kind of confirms in my mind that women aren't making a good leap from religious morality and value systems to secular ones. It's sad because I don't think I could bring myself to date someone religious like that but they look like the best prospects for a LTR. Life can be cruel 1
mvorbrodt Posted August 29, 2016 Posted August 29, 2016 Has anybody noticed patterns in female (or male) online dating profiles? --- Simply from seeing ONE profile picture, I can almost always guess if she's a toxic female. If she looks bitchy, unhappy, and has tatoos (or crazy colored hair, or piercings) it's almost certain that her profile will reference something about.... - Feminism - How "salty" or "strong willed" she is. - Her love of animals - Her love of NPR - Veganism - Her love of Bars - What a man needs to do ("Take me to do something wild") - What a man needs to be ("You need to be tall") - What she doesn't want in a man (in a cruel way - like "no pussies") - What a man should talk to her about ( "Do NOT ask me what I did this weekend, be more original") I despise these profiles. Random story: I met a female years ago at a party and she insulted all the men around her - it was like nothing I'd ever seen. Sure enough, guess who I saw on Tinder? HER! And sure enough, she's a self described feminist/vegan with "very philanthropic tendencies" you mean she likes to take men's money and spend it on herself lol ?
Sima Posted August 30, 2016 Posted August 30, 2016 Its a tool, depends how you use it. I know 5 couples from internet dating, 4 of them I think still are together after 10 years. And I know 2 stories, about women being to lose, and things going not so good.
adamNJ Posted September 4, 2016 Posted September 4, 2016 Probably the saddest thing of all is that virtues and lack of most of the above tends to occur on profiles of women who are religious, more specifically christian or some denomination, which kind of confirms in my mind that women aren't making a good leap from religious morality and value systems to secular ones. It's sad because I don't think I could bring myself to date someone religious like that but they look like the best prospects for a LTR. Life can be cruel I too think that a Christian woman who is on the fence is the best prospect there is at the moment. As a side note, I notice an overwhelming number of religious people seem to be living as de facto atheists with no morals.
Troubador Posted September 5, 2016 Posted September 5, 2016 I'm a single father and as such have no time for dating these days, perhaps when my toddler is a lot older I'll have another crack at it. Does anyone do free range dating anymore? The online stuff looks so sterile and stage managed. I don't think I'll ever be able to face it, so I hope it never becomes a pre-requisite. Surely being personable and able to strike up a real conversation will always be a plus?
kavih Posted September 5, 2016 Posted September 5, 2016 I'm a single father and as such have no time for dating these days, perhaps when my toddler is a lot older I'll have another crack at it. Does anyone do free range dating anymore? The online stuff looks so sterile and stage managed. I don't think I'll ever be able to face it, so I hope it never becomes a pre-requisite. Surely being personable and able to strike up a real conversation will always be a plus? For you, Troubador, and for any others interested, this coming Sunday (9/11) there will be a google hangout with a group of people (I think all of which are FDR supporters) about dating. If you'd like to join the hangout with us, add yourself to this group (if you can): https://www.facebook.com/groups/AcrossTheDesert/If you can't add yourself, ask Ady Sheerer for approval to be a part of the group. You also don't need to join the hangout to listen in, since the events are also live streamed on YouTube, where you can just listen in. 1
The Underthinker Posted September 5, 2016 Posted September 5, 2016 I'm a single father and as such have no time for dating these days, perhaps when my toddler is a lot older I'll have another crack at it. Does anyone do free range dating anymore? The online stuff looks so sterile and stage managed. I don't think I'll ever be able to face it, so I hope it never becomes a pre-requisite. Surely being personable and able to strike up a real conversation will always be a plus? Free range dating will never go out of style. Although in my experience things are most promising if the first two "dates" it's 50/50 for both people whether it's a date or not. I'm not sure why but the uncertainty and mystery lends itself to far longer / better relationships in my experience.
David Ottinger Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 The patterns I've noticed is that people express their values, their perception of the self, and their desires. And, I see nothing wrong with that. In fact, who doesn't do that? Are you uncomfortable with letting women know what your type of woman is? What you want from a woman? I have no problem telling someone what qualities I'm looking for be they values or aesthetic qualities. I know what I want. More so, there are going to be plenty of candidates that are neither going to be in the state of mind that I'm looking for nor share my values. That's simply the world of variety we live in. And, to that, I say: So what? I personally don't mind meeting women of differing views and seeing what happens. It's part of the fun.
Spladam Posted September 18, 2017 Posted September 18, 2017 I just started doing online dating about 2 days ago and can already see that there are no girls on there from my country who are any good. None of them have any real sense of right and wrong, let alone any personal strengths or good looks :/ However, I found a girl from america who is basically a big yes except for them being too religious to date non-Catholics... but I can understand why. Ask yourself this: "why would a girl need to do online dating?" think about it, they can get a guy whenever they like, so why go online?
Gavitor Posted September 21, 2017 Posted September 21, 2017 On 9/18/2017 at 12:25 AM, Spladam said: why would a girl need to do online dating?" think about it, they can get a guy whenever they like, so why go online? Attention
meetjoeblack Posted November 13, 2017 Posted November 13, 2017 On 7/5/2016 at 10:15 AM, NotDarkYet said: Has anybody noticed patterns in female (or male) online dating profiles? --- Simply from seeing ONE profile picture, I can almost always guess if she's a toxic female. If she looks bitchy, unhappy, and has tatoos (or crazy colored hair, or piercings) it's almost certain that her profile will reference something about.... - Feminism - How "salty" or "strong willed" she is. - Her love of animals - Her love of NPR - Veganism - Her love of Bars - What a man needs to do ("Take me to do something wild") - What a man needs to be ("You need to be tall") - What she doesn't want in a man (in a cruel way - like "no pussies") - What a man should talk to her about ( "Do NOT ask me what I did this weekend, be more original") I despise these profiles. Random story: I met a female years ago at a party and she insulted all the men around her - it was like nothing I'd ever seen. Sure enough, guess who I saw on Tinder? HER! And sure enough, she's a self described feminist/vegan with "very philanthropic tendencies" Women don't give a fuck on your opinion. She has like 400 + matches on her tinder profile and weighs in at 180lbs. If we are talking a good looking girl, try more like a 1000 + matches. LOL@ online dating! I never knew what I was missing until I saw that.
meetjoeblack Posted November 13, 2017 Posted November 13, 2017 On 9/18/2017 at 2:25 AM, Spladam said: I just started doing online dating about 2 days ago and can already see that there are no girls on there from my country who are any good. None of them have any real sense of right and wrong, let alone any personal strengths or good looks :/ However, I found a girl from america who is basically a big yes except for them being too religious to date non-Catholics... but I can understand why. Ask yourself this: "why would a girl need to do online dating?" think about it, they can get a guy whenever they like, so why go online? Dopamine spikes. Ego boost. Promote diva behavior and mitigate declining SMV.
meetjoeblack Posted November 13, 2017 Posted November 13, 2017 On 9/5/2016 at 3:12 AM, Troubador said: I'm a single father and as such have no time for dating these days, perhaps when my toddler is a lot older I'll have another crack at it. Does anyone do free range dating anymore? The online stuff looks so sterile and stage managed. I don't think I'll ever be able to face it, so I hope it never becomes a pre-requisite. Surely being personable and able to strike up a real conversation will always be a plus? Start approaching. A gym membershi is ideal. Yoga class, spin, and a variety of others are full of women. Gyms have daycare so, there is no excuse here. Furthermore, it will be great to shake up your situation and mix it up a bit.
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