Confronting Child Abusers in Public Space

[kavih]

I could be wrong, but just where my thoughts went.

I think it's possible that my thoughts on it and the anger I had when thinking about a child getting picked on by their parent(s) was intensified from a place of emotional instability in me. I have been going through some things in my life that have made me very angry among other intense emotions, so I think the proposition of the phrase was being motivated more from my emotions than it was from my logic. So, that's where my thoughts were at originally. I think I'm in a vengeful place right now in my life, so my indignation on the issue is throwing off my usual logical self. I'll have to circle back here after I'm emotionally healed.

[Drew.]

Nah, I disagree. By telling an abuser to pick on someone their own size, you're pointing out that not only would they not do that, but if they did they would get put down. Because people instinctively defend themselves. And picking on someone smaller is the only way to ensure you don't get fought against. It is cowardly. Maybe I'm delusional, but I kind of think that the possibility of the abuser turning on the intervener or otherwise escalating the conflict is not such a bad thing. When done in public, it makes denial of abuse more difficult, alerts the community to their violent tendencies, makes them a social pariah, and may get the police involved. I could be wrong, but just where my thoughts went.

 

If you don't mind putting yourself at risk were the abuser to turn violence at you, that is your choice. My only concern would be whether that kind of aggressive approach would further entrench someone in abusing their children. Some parents will always strike their kids, but if they do that less, it is still better, but definitely not ideal. Too much child abuse may crush the child, so that when they are adults, they unconsciously follow the cycle, while a child who experiences less abuse may be able to question it and improve as they become parents.

 

But of course, we cannot control the actions of another person. If we could, then we would make them not abuse their children in the first place. Just something to think about.

[dsayers]

Sometimes you should just call the cops. One time when I was in Wal-Mart and there was a woman with "Super Bitch" tattooed on her arm and she was shaking her fist right in front of her boys's face. The boys had bruises on their faces already. I discreetly followed them out to their car and took a picture of the car and the license plate. Then I went back in to the customer service area and asked the people there to call the police and take note of the register she used to check out. When the cop got there I told him everything I saw and gave him the license plate number and showed him the picture of the car.

Thank you for getting involved. I'm curious though: Why not photograph the child's face? Even the tattoo on the woman? In the even that the car was not hers, police could use such information to find out who she is anyways. There's a difference between threatening a child and (as you described) evidence of an assault. Not the way the brain receives it obviously, but in our current socio-political climate, it's way more important that we intervene with the physically abused because we know (as you prescribe) that the systems in place are more likely to follow through.