Walked Out on a Date

[NotDarkYet]

I was on a date tonight.

 

This woman was a super lefty. Hating on trump the whole night.  Saying how horrible it was that Trump wants to build a wall.  She was certain that Trump was "pro-internment" camp for possible-terrorists.

 

Ok...I held my tongue.

 

Later, I mentioned how I thought it was crazy that person can be put into prison for doing a drug.

 

She replied "I absolutely think a person should go to jail for doing heroin".

 

I replied, "So, if I do heroin, you think I should go to prison"

 

"Absolutely" she said.

 

I grab my things...walk away.

 

So satisfying.

 

Red flags at the start....her profile mentioned nothing about politics, except ONE LITTLE word at the end.  "feminist".

 

Guys, watch out.  

[Worlok]

Not that you need a reason, but did you walk out because she couldn't stfu about politics, because she was obviously of the opposite opinions to you, or a mix of both?

 

As far as I'm concerned, if you keep your stupid ass opinions to yourself, we can get along. Some people can't change the topic.

[thebeardslastcall]

Now you see it isn't so little. Just a tip since you missed that one, if their profile has just one little word such as "murderer" or "rapist" or "terrorist" or "stalker", you should probably pass on the date.

 

Nice of you to walk out on the date, however given how the event went down, I fear her mind will just translate the situation as "He walked out because he wanted to do heroine and I told him it wasn't okay". Not exactly the issue I'd want to go out on. I'd probably go for taxes, since you can pre-translate that for them as "So if I want to live alone on my land peacefully and not pay for things I consider immoral you think I should go to prison and lose my land?"

[Will Torbald]

Not to berate on you or anything, but why wasn't the fact that she considered herself a feminist not an immediate "no go" before the date? Do you still have hope or faith in today's feminism?

[Pod]

Was she hot or something? Something had to give her the benefit of the doubt because "feminist" is code for run. 

[AccuTron]

Now you see it isn't so little. Just a tip since you missed that one, if their profile has just one little word such as "murderer" or "rapist" or "terrorist" or "stalker", you should probably pass on the date.

 

Nice of you to walk out on the date, however given how the event went down, I fear her mind will just translate the situation as "He walked out because he wanted to do heroine and I told him it wasn't okay". Not exactly the issue I'd want to go out on. I'd probably go for taxes, since you can pre-translate that for them as "So if I want to live alone on my land peacefully and not pay for things I consider immoral you think I should go to prison and lose my land?"

Moot.  She's not gonna think, or be able to, ever.  Gets in the way of her priority -- moral bullying.

Not to berate on you or anything, but why wasn't the fact that she considered herself a feminist not an immediate "no go" before the date? Do you still have hope or faith in today's feminism?

It's our genetics:  "women are a good idea."  It takes lots of false starts to understand that the reverse is overwhelmingly true.

[RamynKing]

I find that feminism is also pretty ..shaky.. in a lot of women.

 

It ranges from sort of a default viewpoint like: "I'm a woman so it makes sense to support other women"

 

to "feminism means equal rights for all, right?"

 

all the way up in degrees to man-hating.

 

The lower-rung default fems are the easiest to pick off just by being a sort of alpha male. Most of them are not strong enough in their illogical convictions to pass up on a real catch. 

 

I think underneath a lot of feminist facades there is hiding a natural woman who would love to take care of a man and follow his capable lead in creating a family. 

[SoCaliGirl]

Now you see it isn't so little. Just a tip since you missed that one, if their profile has just one little word such as "murderer" or "rapist" or "terrorist" or "stalker", you should probably pass on the date.

 

Nice of you to walk out on the date, however given how the event went down, I fear her mind will just translate the situation as "He walked out because he wanted to do heroine and I told him it wasn't okay". Not exactly the issue I'd want to go out on. I'd probably go for taxes, since you can pre-translate that for them as "So if I want to live alone on my land peacefully and not pay for things I consider immoral you think I should go to prison and lose my land?"

 

"I fear her mind will just translate the situation as "He walked out because he wanted to do heroine and I told him it wasn't okay""

 

Agreed.

[Will Torbald]

Moot. She's not gonna think, or be able to, ever. Gets in the way of her priority -- moral bullying.

 

It's our genetics: "women are a good idea." It takes lots of false starts to understand that the reverse is overwhelmingly true.

And those genes are not wrong. Women, real women, are a good idea. But women aren't women anymore. They don't know how to be feminine, nor do they see value in men. Feminist or not, the modern culture has destroyed women.

[NotDarkYet]

Not to berate on you or anything, but why wasn't the fact that she considered herself a feminist not an immediate "no go" before the date? Do you still have hope or faith in today's feminism?

 

Essential and important question.  Why DID I book the date?

 

1. There was a chance that the Feminism she referred to some very basic/vague "you go girl".  This, I can deal with.

 

2. Even if she had some crazy ideas, it's possible she could be talked out of them.  In this case, she has zero openness for the idea of securing the borders.  Zero. 

 

 

Regarding the "she probably thinks you just want to do drugs".  Yes. In hindsight I should have pointed out the contradiction of statement "internment camps = bad.  Drugs+prison = good".  

But I was really really angry.  And rightfully so.  She'd PREFER TO SEE ME IN CHAINS than free.

 

 

For the first time in her life she got to feel the consequence of philosophical bullshit.

[A4E]

nonono... some of you repliers have it all wrong!

 

In 5 years when she finally understands how insane modern feminism is, she will have this to tell people:

 

"It was around 5 years ago, I was on a date with a guy and we got into some political discussions, and he directly asked me if he did heroin, would I want him to be sent to jail, and I answered absolutely. And he left. He did not look like a drug addict, so I did not understand why, but it really got me thinking about stuff and how people are treated by the government and such. I picked up a few things here and there, which ultimately led me to quit feminism for example."

[shirgall]

Really not the issue I would have built up stakes on.

 

"There was a time when everyone recognized taxes and a standing army as wrong, but they accepted that no one would pay for some critical things in enough time unless they were imposed. At times superpowers like England and France and others later on were watching for the moment of weakness to swoop in and take all the resources and undefended labor in the new world. However, it seems that time has passed and people have forgotten that taxes and armies were tolerated wrongs."

 

That would spark an interesting discussion about having to do things were wrong in the moment, and losing sight of what's right when generations of convenience and complacency and reinforcement work against you.

 

When you are on a date you are on your best behavior. You want to be interesting, You want to be your own person. You want the other person to hunger for your thoughts and dreams. And you want ot fin dout how they think too.

 

The heroin gambit is brinkmanship. It's like going on all in on the second hand.

 

Perhaps the word "feminist" on her profile triggered her and you were looking for a reason to stomp out in a huff, to be offended before she could be. And this is from a guy like me that dated women in downtown Portland and lived to marry.

[NotDarkYet]

With this female I had already tried the "have you considered" tactic on:

 

-The Mexico wall.  No budging. 

-Trump being not evil.  No budging.

-Cities are better than communes in many areas (medical emergencies). No budging.

-Distancing yourself from toxic people is sometimes appropriate.  She thinks that's a failure on YOUR part.  No budging. Actually, she just laughed.

-Saving money is good.  Nope.  No budging.  You need to LIVE!

 

The drug = jail thing...that was the final straw.  

 

I wasn't looking for a way out, until then.  I was very angry and needed to a way to not scream at the top of my lungs.

 

She's 33 and NOT aging well.  5 years from now, she's going to wonder what went wrong.

 

Maybe she'll think of yesterday.

[shirgall]

With this female I had already tried the "have you considered" tactic on:

 

-The Mexico wall.  No budging. 

-Trump being not evil.  No budging.

-Cities are better than communes in many areas (medical emergencies). No budging.

-Distancing yourself from toxic people is sometimes appropriate.  She thinks that's a failure on YOUR part.  No budging. Actually, she just laughed.

-Saving money is good.  Nope.  No budging.  You need to LIVE!

 

The drug = jail thing...that was the final straw.  

 

I wasn't looking for a way out, until then.  I was very angry and needed to a way to not scream at the top of my lungs.

 

She's 33 and NOT aging well.  5 years from now, she's going to wonder what went wrong.

 

Maybe she'll think of yesterday.

 

Fair enough, it was the straw that broke the camel's back. I wasn't comprehending that you can covered the other topics as deeply as you had described. It sounds like waves crashing on a rock now the way you describe it, and I recognize that feeling.

[Drew.]

With this female I had already tried the "have you considered" tactic on:

 

-The Mexico wall.  No budging. 

-Trump being not evil.  No budging.

-Cities are better than communes in many areas (medical emergencies). No budging.

-Distancing yourself from toxic people is sometimes appropriate.  She thinks that's a failure on YOUR part.  No budging. Actually, she just laughed.

-Saving money is good.  Nope.  No budging.  You need to LIVE!

 

The drug = jail thing...that was the final straw.  

 

I wasn't looking for a way out, until then.  I was very angry and needed to a way to not scream at the top of my lungs.

 

She's 33 and NOT aging well.  5 years from now, she's going to wonder what went wrong.

 

Maybe she'll think of yesterday.

 

Dating is a learning process. It is racked with failure and mistakes. This is especially so when our histories and trauma glom onto our potential partners and mates. The failures of the parents become the expectations and standards of our partners. Our parents owed us nothing except unconditional love, and we expect that from our partners. This woman may be purposefully seeking to be aversive and adversarial in order to find someone who will finally love her unconditionally. Too bad that's not going to happen, as the only person who can offer that to her is herself.

 

It sounds like the date was a failure, but it definitely wasn't a loss. I think that there is a lot that you can learn from your experience with this woman. What was it that attracted you to this woman in the first place? What were you hoping to gain or achieve by pursuing her? What fantasies, dreams, and hopes did you have that involved this woman? I know for me, it has been quite easy to find myself attracted to a woman, and then imagine what our committed relationship might look like, ten or twenty years down the road. During these times, I have pushed for a relationship when fundamentally there wasn't a strong enough foundation to support the love that I wanted to build.

[AccuTron]

And those genes are not wrong. Women, real women, are a good idea. But women aren't women anymore. They don't know how to be feminine, nor do they see value in men. Feminist or not, the modern culture has destroyed women.

Upvote, and thanks for a perfect clarification.  My tirades aside, I do feel sorry for most women, as having terrible role modeling.  Also mainstream lies, but there's the element of choosing to believe them.  

nonono... some of you repliers have it all wrong!

 

In 5 years when she finally understands how insane modern feminism is, she will have this to tell people:

 

"It was around 5 years ago, I was on a date with a guy and we got into some political discussions, and he directly asked me if he did heroin, would I want him to be sent to jail, and I answered absolutely. And he left. He did not look like a drug addict, so I did not understand why, but it really got me thinking about stuff and how people are treated by the government and such. I picked up a few things here and there, which ultimately led me to quit feminism for example."

You are a person of faith.  I hope you are right.  Time will tell.

[Will Torbald]

Essential and important question. Why DID I book the date?

 

1. There was a chance that the Feminism she referred to some very basic/vague "you go girl". This, I can deal with.

 

2. Even if she had some crazy ideas, it's possible she could be talked out of them. In this case, she has zero openness for the idea of securing the borders. Zero.

 

 

Regarding the "she probably thinks you just want to do drugs". Yes. In hindsight I should have pointed out the contradiction of statement "internment camps = bad. Drugs+prison = good".

But I was really really angry. And rightfully so. She'd PREFER TO SEE ME IN CHAINS than free.

 

 

For the first time in her life she got to feel the consequence of philosophical bullshit.

Well, I guess this does fall in the category of some faith in feminism. You felt there was a chance. In my conception of feminism, all feminism is cancer (as Milo Yianopolous says) even the moderate versions. Just the very act of publically defining yourself as feminist is, to me, enough red flags. Anyone who currently believes in "equality" is highly propagandized.

[Christine Marie]

You should have asked her if it would be okay to build a wall to keep out heroin users. 

[Frosty]

Red flags at the start....her profile mentioned nothing about politics, except ONE LITTLE word at the end.  "feminist".

 

I'm confused, you obviously use the internet...yet you thought that dating a feminist was going to end well. Can anyone help me out here?

 

[The Underthinker]

I think it's rather rude to just walk away over political disagreement. Did you not at least identify to her why you were walking away?

[dsayers]

Kudos to you for walking out on principle. Kudos to you for sharing this with others and inviting armchair quarterbacking. I agree that walking out after asking for the consequences of you being a hard narcotic user would only serve to dilute the message you were trying to send. Which is fine; I think we all should evaluate our successes and our failures, combing for ways to improve ourselves for next time.

 

I would also agree with the sentiment that the walking out came a little late in the game. Perhaps this is to your credit of being less judgmental, more understanding, what have you. If you were aware that feminism MIGHT have been a red flag, why not ask her what she meant by that before booking the date? Unless she's patrolling for the lesbian hookup, it seems like an odd thing to claim while trying to put your best foot forward while attracting a man.

 

The other thing I personally would've done differently: If she talks good/bad about any political candidate, I'd try and shift focus to the throne itself. I think it's a very rational conclusion that humans in general cannot exist in different, opposing moral categories. Assuming this is accurate, that WHO sits on the throne is a distraction from the important question of is the throne valid? I don't want to raise my future child with somebody who would cheer on the enslavement of any person, let alone 300 million. And I don't want to spend my time going out with somebody that wouldn't be somebody I could trust alone with my future child.

[nickhk]

I'd have cut it short sometime during Trump bashing.

 

"Well, it was nice meeting you."

 

"I have to return some videotapes."

 

Friendly advice:  People you will enjoy having a conversation with do not throw red flags immediately.  If there are warning flags in the first minute, it's not going to get better.