My current Family battle with "The Truth" VS Nietzche

[Raikark]

I have two sisters and mother, the eldest sister has always been on a pedestal, until now I am 55, my youngest sister is 60 and eldest 67 (still living in UK)

I live in Australia with My youngest sister and mother (Sydney and I in Adelaide 1800km apart). My father died 6 years ago and then my eldest sister started visiting every year to "help mother". This pushed my youngest sisters nose out after 25 years already living here with mother.

Basically I have become aware of my eldest sister doing a lot of "gaslighting" with mother and when we all became aware of mums slot machine gambling addiction my eldest sister would not cooperate in getting professional help.

At this point I must let you know that she was a "therapist" in the UK but never really practiced, she is gay and took the line "if mam want to spend all fathers money she is entitled too", meanwhile she is benefiting from any inheritance via plane tickets, new laptops and not living in the UK in winter.

Thats when she fell off the pedestal.

I read the book on "truth" and started a "deep thinkers" group within the family and she even though usually the fountain of all wisdom, ran away from the discussion "literally" , the analogy of counterfeiter came to mind.

Then at my daughters wedding my elder sister and mum walked out during the speeches citing bad backs- I have asked for an explanation as to why they did not pre-arrange this in any number of other ways...the only answer from mother was "get over it".

I have since found out the confidences have been broken on extremely personal family matters and it turns out that my younger sister has her own list of "events along a timeline", including not speaking with mother for 3 years after the eldest sister helped her craft a letter to mum (acting as a double agent).

I told my mother this recently and she said I dropped a "bombshell" and the coached response was "my younger sister has always been jealous and poisoned my mind" said by my elder sister through my other who does not possess the vocabulary.

I said I would detail everything in a letter which I did over careful crafting and specific measurable answers required.

My sister answered with this:

"All things are subject to interpretation whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth. Friedrich Nietzsche"

Which confirms to me its all about control and power and I actually fear she is abusing my mother as she will not hear a bad word about her. Remember we lived in Australia 25 years in harmony until father died and then whoosh she is in rescuing mum like a SJW , supervised her spending all her money, influencing the will (we suspect) and flying off back to the UK when the cash flow dried up.

How should I deal with the Nietzsche quote?, I have no interest in seeing her ever again, but she is using my mother in the middle as the pawn/bait and now mum is also talking about re-mortgaging the house for money..??!!!! The book on truth certainly lit  a few fuses. Another relative who I never see recently introduced me as "Rai who doesn't like families".

Any advice on how to deal with this person as she seems to exert power all the way from UK. I will no talk to her which is what she wants as she launches into "tell me why you feel like that", "lets explore why you think this" and she does not have my informed consent!

 

[deadflagblues]

It's a ridiculous quote, especially in this context. She's using it to mean "it's all subjective so therefore i am right". It's useless. Ask her if she applies this to every facet of life, does she act based on any beliefs whatsoever? What about her belief in the truth of the quote?

[neeeel]

the quote also applies to her just as much, so you can dismiss her in the same way shes dismissing you.

 

You cant "save" your mum. You cant help her if she doesnt want to be helped. Tell her honestly how you see things, and if nothing changes, or if she just dismisses you, then you have done all you could. What else can you do? Its not your job to save them. 

[labmath2]

I have two sisters and mother, the eldest sister has always been on a pedestal, until now I am 55, my youngest sister is 60 and eldest 67 (still living in UK)

I live in Australia with My youngest sister and mother (Sydney and I in Adelaide 1800km apart). My father died 6 years ago and then my eldest sister started visiting every year to "help mother". This pushed my youngest sisters nose out after 25 years already living here with mother.

Basically I have become aware of my eldest sister doing a lot of "gaslighting" with mother and when we all became aware of mums slot machine gambling addiction my eldest sister would not cooperate in getting professional help.

At this point I must let you know that she was a "therapist" in the UK but never really practiced, she is gay and took the line "if mam want to spend all fathers money she is entitled too", meanwhile she is benefiting from any inheritance via plane tickets, new laptops and not living in the UK in winter.

Thats when she fell off the pedestal.

I read the book on "truth" and started a "deep thinkers" group within the family and she even though usually the fountain of all wisdom, ran away from the discussion "literally" , the analogy of counterfeiter came to mind.

Then at my daughters wedding my elder sister and mum walked out during the speeches citing bad backs- I have asked for an explanation as to why they did not pre-arrange this in any number of other ways...the only answer from mother was "get over it".

I have since found out the confidences have been broken on extremely personal family matters and it turns out that my younger sister has her own list of "events along a timeline", including not speaking with mother for 3 years after the eldest sister helped her craft a letter to mum (acting as a double agent).

I told my mother this recently and she said I dropped a "bombshell" and the coached response was "my younger sister has always been jealous and poisoned my mind" said by my elder sister through my other who does not possess the vocabulary.

I said I would detail everything in a letter which I did over careful crafting and specific measurable answers required.

My sister answered with this:

"All things are subject to interpretation whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth. Friedrich Nietzsche"

Which confirms to me its all about control and power and I actually fear she is abusing my mother as she will not hear a bad word about her. Remember we lived in Australia 25 years in harmony until father died and then whoosh she is in rescuing mum like a SJW , supervised her spending all her money, influencing the will (we suspect) and flying off back to the UK when the cash flow dried up.

How should I deal with the Nietzsche quote?, I have no interest in seeing her ever again, but she is using my mother in the middle as the pawn/bait and now mum is also talking about re-mortgaging the house for money..??!!!! The book on truth certainly lit a few fuses. Another relative who I never see recently introduced me as "Rai who doesn't like families".

Any advice on how to deal with this person as she seems to exert power all the way from UK. I will no talk to her which is what she wants as she launches into "tell me why you feel like that", "lets explore why you think this" and she does not have my informed consent!

I know for fact the family was not in harmony till your father died. I also know for a fact none of this behavior is new. Go back to the beginning, what were your mother and father like when you were much younger? What were your sisters' relationship with your pstents like? The better you see the facts without adding emotion, the better off you will be.

[Raikark]

Thanks guys.