soundwave86 Posted June 24, 2018 Author Posted June 24, 2018 It takes away my attention. constantly. Not like other spontaneous endeavours. it makes me see the world as... I can't pinpoint it's just bad. I've been compulsively smoking the last few days... but meditation should fix that. Maybe meditation vigorously will help destroy all the feelings in time.
soundwave86 Posted June 24, 2018 Author Posted June 24, 2018 my brain looks for 'reasoning bias' when I read about it, it's kinda distorted. but I see that now it does help to read and not respond.
neeeel Posted June 24, 2018 Posted June 24, 2018 I dont think thats what I meant (im not sure what your answers address?) What are the feelings that come up when you think about nothingness? Do you know what they are about? What thoughts are linked with them? There is something deeper going on, it would be worth finding out what. Is it like an existential angst? Is it depression? Or what?
soundwave86 Posted June 24, 2018 Author Posted June 24, 2018 When I think about nothingness, I immediately feel angst. Something is horribly wrong. Angst is a good word. I battle it. its angst. but its not about the state of the world. I don't know what it's about.
neeeel Posted June 24, 2018 Posted June 24, 2018 you said Quote Maybe meditation vigorously will help destroy all the feelings in time. and Quote Angst is a good word. I battle it. Perhaps rather than battle it or destroy it or push it away, relax into it in order to find out what is going on. Easier said than done, I know. Meditation isnt about destroying feelings, its about being present with what is there, whatever the feelings. I used to often feel very anxious and depressed when I would see something that was in disorder or disrepair, something that was rusting away, or falling apart. I am wondering if its something similar for you? Is there anything that triggers these feelings? Any thoughts or situations you have noticed? Are you currently in therapy? Or would you consider going?
soundwave86 Posted June 24, 2018 Author Posted June 24, 2018 Only nothingness. I've had therapy for OCD in the past. How useful has it been... to a certain extent but I never addressed this problem, thinking about it, it was always in the background. Ill contact my therapist. Now i'm off meds I guess I actually can meditate.
neeeel Posted June 24, 2018 Posted June 24, 2018 I didnt know you had been on meds previously. Is it possible that coming off meds has triggered all of this?
soundwave86 Posted June 24, 2018 Author Posted June 24, 2018 it's always been there. Well, for a very long time on and off. Meds suppressed it but numbed me. Sure, I have had some pretty intense withdrawal symptoms but they've passed.
soundwave86 Posted June 26, 2018 Author Posted June 26, 2018 Its something that makes my everyday taking care of myself a problem. I know its irrational. its getting slightly easier.
soundwave86 Posted June 26, 2018 Author Posted June 26, 2018 I hope my brain repairs itself well one day. Ive had lots of therapy years ago. still never quite got there. getting there now though. I don't really have any other self esteem issues anymore etc. but living is extremely difficult still.
soundwave86 Posted June 26, 2018 Author Posted June 26, 2018 I think its the wrath or wateva illness I have got. Its not rational. I know its impossible to comprehend but my rumination doesn't help. The feelings are a bitch. Neeed to do something about it.
soundwave86 Posted June 26, 2018 Author Posted June 26, 2018 On 6/24/2018 at 3:33 PM, neeeel said: I didnt know you had been on meds previously. Is it possible that coming off meds has triggered all of this? Making progress. I realised 'why can't reality be the axiom'. Working with the feeling. Adjusting to being off meds also, I never could have made this progress on them.
barn Posted June 29, 2018 Posted June 29, 2018 Hi @soundwave86 2 hours ago, soundwave86 said: Back in therapy That's a wise decision (imo). More power to you!
neeeel Posted June 30, 2018 Posted June 30, 2018 23 hours ago, soundwave86 said: Back in therapy Im glad to hear it. I think they will be able to help you much better than a random person on the internet (me). Keep us up to date with what is happening.
soundwave86 Posted June 30, 2018 Author Posted June 30, 2018 interestingly enough though, my invesitigation with this thread... it was a core issue since a young age. But neeeel is right, at this point in time, it has nothing to do with science or reason. It doesn't feel organic or compelling. My brain started to go bad at a young age. Before it did, I used to read some Descartes and Nietzsche. I reckon in a year or so I'll be a lot closer to where I need to be. The brain can be changed. My therapist is gonna get a hell of a ride.
soundwave86 Posted August 22, 2018 Author Posted August 22, 2018 Hey guys. I love the philosophy and science, I always have. I am however working with the feelings and getting my truly rational side to speed up. This thread and this site is superb.
barn Posted August 22, 2018 Posted August 22, 2018 1 hour ago, soundwave86 said: Hey guys. I love the philosophy and science, I always have. I am however working with the feelings and getting my truly rational side to speed up. This thread and this site is superb. Oh, absolutely! The best site that is. All the best with the 'speeding things up'!
MahtiSonni Posted September 21, 2018 Posted September 21, 2018 On 11/12/2016 at 5:56 PM, soundwave86 said: Thought it best to start a new topic and maybe someone could guide me to a relevant thread. Why is there something instead of nothing at all? I realize that even in an empty vacuum, particles spring in and out of existence. So maybe nothing is a false concept? I just want to shine some clarity on the topic, as it causes me a lot of anxiety with my current interpretation of it. I almost wanted to post it in the atheism room because, to me, no God could be involved with such things. You should understand by the way you pose the question that you're an ideologue, not a philosopher. 1
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