MysterionMuffles Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dsayers Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 Amen! I've been living this truth for about a year now. For a good 3 years after starting my pursuit of self-knowledge, I had the tools, but I wasn't applying myself. I then received inspiration that made me both very regretful for the time I had wasted and very motivated to start making up for that lost time. Then I lost EVERYTHING. I had every excuse to give up. But I did not. It was too late; the fire had already been ignited in me. Since then, I've been doing so much to build my life back up from scratch (literally). Recently, this included an opportunity I was counting on falling through. Which there was another part of my life I was making do with because it was supposed to be temporary. Old me would've continued to wallow where I was, waiting for things to improve. However, I said to myself, "This isn't working," and so I made some changes. Already, I've been greatly rewarded as a result! I think this advice is most important when it comes to interpersonal relationships. It's never them; It's always YOU. Because the love you show for yourself will ward off the bad people and attract better people. It will allow you to capitalize on struggles in your relationships by healing the ones that got bruised and learning from the ones that failed you. Don't look for Mr(s). Right, BE Mr(s). Right! 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jot Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 Even though I do not disagree with anything she said I did not feel empowered by this video. In fact, this type of message and delivery never appealed to me...it just does not answer the question "okay...why would i do that?" 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dsayers Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 In fact, this type of message and delivery never appealed to me...it just does not answer the question "okay...why would i do that?" I agree with you about the delivery. I was able to look past it here because it is a message not communicated often enough in our snowflake society. That's the one way the video failed: It didn't specify that self-knowledge is a way of not only identifying why, but empowering one to override it. But at least people being exposed to the idea of it being them might give them motivation to seek out how/why to go about effecting change regarding it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MysterionMuffles Posted November 18, 2016 Author Share Posted November 18, 2016 Amen! I've been living this truth for about a year now. For a good 3 years after starting my pursuit of self-knowledge, I had the tools, but I wasn't applying myself. I then received inspiration that made me both very regretful for the time I had wasted and very motivated to start making up for that lost time. Then I lost EVERYTHING. I had every excuse to give up. But I did not. It was too late; the fire had already been ignited in me. Since then, I've been doing so much to build my life back up from scratch (literally). Recently, this included an opportunity I was counting on falling through. Which there was another part of my life I was making do with because it was supposed to be temporary. Old me would've continued to wallow where I was, waiting for things to improve. However, I said to myself, "This isn't working," and so I made some changes. Already, I've been greatly rewarded as a result! I think this advice is most important when it comes to interpersonal relationships. It's never them; It's always YOU. Because the love you show for yourself will ward off the bad people and attract better people. It will allow you to capitalize on struggles in your relationships by healing the ones that got bruised and learning from the ones that failed you. Don't look for Mr(s). Right, BE Mr(s). Right! Damn glad to hear it man. I'm sensing there's years and years of struggle in just those 3 paragraphs. Personal accountability is indeed a giant game changer in life. Even though I do not disagree with anything she said I did not feel empowered by this video. In fact, this type of message and delivery never appealed to me...it just does not answer the question "okay...why would i do that?" What type of message and delivery does appeal to you? And why would you do what? Take responsibility for your faults? Because if you don't, you're doomed to repeat them unless by some stroke of chance, life will just happen to you and may or may not work in your favour. Life is too short to make that gamble. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jot Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 What type of message and delivery does appeal to you? And why would you do what? Take responsibility for your faults? Because if you don't, you're doomed to repeat them unless by some stroke of chance, life will just happen to you and may or may not work in your favour. Life is too short to make that gamble. What type of message and delivery does appeal to you? Stefan's And why would you do what? Take responsibility for your faults? Because if you don't, you're doomed to repeat them unless by some stroke of chance, life will just happen to you and may or may not work in your favour. Life is too short to make that gamble. That is clear and I asked that while being fully conscious of this reality but the quite cynical "so what?" followed in my mind immediately. Here I am not talking about faults in regards to other people, I am strictly talking about oneself avoiding and procrastinating on taking the steps for bettering his own life. I am really curious what would this type of motivational speakers reply to that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MysterionMuffles Posted November 18, 2016 Author Share Posted November 18, 2016 Stefan's delivery in what regard? An hour's worth of metaphors rehashing the same lesson just to make sure the lesson lodges in your brain? 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thecurrentyear Posted November 19, 2016 Share Posted November 19, 2016 Stefan's delivery in what regard? An hour's worth of metaphors rehashing the same lesson just to make sure the lesson lodges in your brain? he means he's gay (joke) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jot Posted November 19, 2016 Share Posted November 19, 2016 Stefan's delivery in what regard? An hour's worth of metaphors rehashing the same lesson just to make sure the lesson lodges in your brain? Now I do recognize that the word "approach" would have been more suitable instead of "delivery", delivery is a part of the approach but it does not encapsulate entirely the object of my criticism. When I talk about her approach towards this issue I am talking about this high-energy, emotional state pumping, working the crowd, Tony Robbins type of discourse. I find this unempathetic. People are not born by default not wanting to take responsibility or avoidant of taking action that would improve their happiness and life. For this to happen there needs to be a long series of brutalities and injustices at the end of which the way you deal with reality shifted from thriving to coping. We do not know what others went through or the extent to which they did. But I never witness any attempt of people who have this type of approach to realize, acknowledge and point out that fact. What I always hear from them instead is that "it is 100% your fault if your life sucks" or "you have a victim mentality and need to snap out of that" with no interest or mention of why one would end up having a shit life or victim mentality in the first place and I see this as really cruel, especially since most people stuck into these paradigms of self-defeatism are unconscious of the ways in which they were set up for these behaviors, and I am really sceptical of how well most people with unhappy lives will emotionally handle "it is all my fault" and use it to their true self's advantage and the joinder of their disowned and split parts instead of a means of beating themselves up even further or as a tool of self-management. Stefan's delivery in what regard? An hour's worth of metaphors rehashing the same lesson just to make sure the lesson lodges in your brain? I am unsure of why this would be the most relevant aspect of the way Stefan approaches these issues but this is not what I was referring to. I meant his sensitivity towards the callers state and seeking first to ask, listen to, express sympathy and empathy, enlighten and only then prompt that person towards taking good action. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MysterionMuffles Posted November 20, 2016 Author Share Posted November 20, 2016 I hear ya. It feels in congruent with the difficult task of actually accepting fault. It's not an easy task someone can smile at you and remind you of, it a real life relationship as opposed to a bite sized YouTube video, you would want someone more sympathetic to tell you where you may be wrong. I think as a child, yes, life does just happen to you and it's a terrible, scary life to live around abusive adults. And of course that would inform one's opinions about the world around them and all. At the same time, as an adult, when you become aware of your PAST victimhood, there is the temptation to hold on to that as your present life and get attached to that. Of course I sympathize with victims of child abuse, an am aware of all the negative effects ACE can have on someone's development--but once you become aware of how much of a disadvantage your childhood has given you, I think it does become all up to you whether or not you make something more of yourself. If you watch the video again, she doesn't say that everything is 100% your fault. There are some things that are out of our control, but the things that we can usually do stuff about like our social circles, work and home lives etc, it is our responsibility to shape, change, or remove anything that doesn't serve us. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jot Posted November 20, 2016 Share Posted November 20, 2016 It feels in congruent with the difficult task of actually accepting fault. It's not an easy task someone can smile at you and remind you of, it a real life relationship as opposed to a bite sized YouTube video, you would want someone more sympathetic to tell you where you may be wrong. Would you mind explaining what you meant here? I find the phrasing confusing and I want to make sure I understand exactly what you mean. At the same time, as an adult, when you become aware of your PAST victimhood, there is the temptation to hold on to that as your present life and get attached to that. I do not think that this temptation is intrinsic, though I think this might be a general trend due to the feeling of helplessness and fear a lot of people experience when they start examining their past. But this would be by no means a good argument for avoiding that PAST. Of course I sympathize with victims of child abuse, an am aware of all the negative effects ACE can have on someone's development--but once you become aware of how much of a disadvantage your childhood has given you, I think it does become all up to you whether or not you make something more of yourself. Exactly. And this was my criticism towards the approach that segment of life coaches/motivational speakers employ. They do not encourage or even mention what you said above. If you watch the video again, she doesn't say that everything is 100% your fault. I rewatched and indeed she does not directly say that but the first time I watched it I think I got the impression that she said that because towards the end she says "find the areas in your life that are not working and figure out how you CAUSED that or ALLOWED that". To me this sounds no different from it is 100% your fault. This is also the statement that bothered me the most in the whole video. Even if I try hard to make the most of this statement it still hits me as victim-blaming. What a 15 old who was sexually abused by his parents or someone who was abandoned as a child in a foster care etc...is being told this? That his life situation in that moment is either due to him having caused the situation or that he allowed it to happen? Would it not be the case that the state in which he finds himself is mostly other people's faults, rather than his/hers? Not everyone is dealt an equal hand of cards. People should indeed take responsibility for that which was their fault but I am afraid that statements like "your life is not working because you either CAUSED it not to work or you ALLOW it not to work" are more likely to make people believe that even the things which were not their fault, are their fault. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matthew Ed Moran Posted November 20, 2016 Share Posted November 20, 2016 Tautologies are tricky and can be misleading, because they present you with claims that are seemingly undeniable, but they don't provide any knowledge. At worst, they provide the perception of knowledge when no actual knowledge has been gained. If someone perceives to have knowledge they don't, then they will stagnate in their personal development, because they will perceive themselves closer to a truth than they actually are. When the lady in the video makes her claims, she is not providing any evidence. Many of the statements are tautologies that are true by definition. Maybe this is helpful for some people if it helps inspire them not to be nihilists, who would otherwise be nihilists; in the same the way religion can provide inspiration and sound moral conclusions while being non-rational. However, I'm skeptical non-rational secular beliefs can be as useful as religion, because there are many benefits to religion in providing a community and socially conservative norms (especially around sex and gender roles) that I don't necessarily see replicated outside of religions. It would also seem to me that a person who does not have rational means who is trying to find inspiration would have a more stable and comfortable place in a thousand year tradition than some new belief that lacks the infrastructure and historical significance that Christian religions have, but that's just sort of my perspective if I were in that position. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dsayers Posted November 21, 2016 Share Posted November 21, 2016 When the lady in the video makes her claims, she is not providing any evidence. Many of the statements are tautologies that are true by definition. Why would somebody need to prove an axiom? These statements appear to be mutually exclusive. The value of the message is that it's contrary to many narratives that are flying around. If somebody keeps finding themselves in failed relationships for example and never think to look inward, they will be powerless to change that. Which in turn will exacerbate the problem via self-fulfilling prophesies, giving up, experimenting, etc. Not everything has to take us from 0 to 60 to be valuable. The whole point is that nobody CAN be carried. All we can do is point out that the answers lie within and other similar handing the tools to them. They have to be the ones to apply them. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MysterionMuffles Posted December 31, 2016 Author Share Posted December 31, 2016 It feels in congruent with the difficult task of actually accepting fault. It's not an easy task someone can smile at you and remind you of, it a real life relationship as opposed to a bite sized YouTube video, you would want someone more sympathetic to tell you where you may be wrong. Would you mind explaining what you meant here? I find the phrasing confusing and I want to make sure I understand exactly what you mean. Face to face, it would be preferable for someone to be sympathetic when letting you know that something is your fault. I can see why the video wasn't effective for you as it was a detached experience being a YouTube video first of all, and that she was smiling about it. It lacks the congruence of delivering such a message. At the same time, as an adult, when you become aware of your PAST victimhood, there is the temptation to hold on to that as your present life and get attached to that. I do not think that this temptation is intrinsic, though I think this might be a general trend due to the feeling of helplessness and fear a lot of people experience when they start examining their past. But this would be by no means a good argument for avoiding that PAST. I never said anything about avoiding the past. The past has its uses if you examine it at several angles, but in the end it's what lessons you learn from it and you move forward from there that matters. Of course I sympathize with victims of child abuse, an am aware of all the negative effects ACE can have on someone's development--but once you become aware of how much of a disadvantage your childhood has given you, I think it does become all up to you whether or not you make something more of yourself. Exactly. And this was my criticism towards the approach that segment of life coaches/motivational speakers employ. They do not encourage or even mention what you said above. Actually they do. Lots of the life coaches in my area (not all of them of course) make a point to have their clients examine where they may be lacking in their childhood. It becomes the basis of what they need to give to themselves in adulthood like more direct affection, ability to be vulnerable with others--and I would even go insofar as to mention another guy who started off as a life coach but went on to become a parenting coach. Tony Robbins also talks about how much suffering he faced as a kid and how much of that has influenced how he wants to help others mitigate their suffering. Eckhart Tolle talks about how much his parents used to argue a lot and how all the noise made him sensitive to sound. He even goes insofar as to develop a term he calls the pain body, which is a collection of pain from our histories that manifest in the present. Once you become aware of how long certain types of anxieties have existed in you all your life, he reminds you that it's up to you to relive it or start fresh. If you watch the video again, she doesn't say that everything is 100% your fault. I rewatched and indeed she does not directly say that but the first time I watched it I think I got the impression that she said that because towards the end she says "find the areas in your life that are not working and figure out how you CAUSED that or ALLOWED that". To me this sounds no different from it is 100% your fault. There's a difference between causation and allowance. If you push good people away from you, you are causing a lack of healthy relationships in your life. If you have shitty people around you, you're allowing them to be in your presence. Unless you're a child, you have the choice to associate with whomever you want. This is also the statement that bothered me the most in the whole video. Even if I try hard to make the most of this statement it still hits me as victim-blaming. What a 15 old who was sexually abused by his parents or someone who was abandoned as a child in a foster care etc...is being told this? That his life situation in that moment is either due to him having caused the situation or that he allowed it to happen? Would it not be the case that the state in which he finds himself is mostly other people's faults, rather than his/hers? Not everyone is dealt an equal hand of cards. Again, she says there are things that are out of our control. This extreme situation you just described would fall into that category. People should indeed take responsibility for that which was their fault but I am afraid that statements like "your life is not working because you either CAUSED it not to work or you ALLOW it not to work" are more likely to make people believe that even the things which were not their fault, are their fault. So let's take this sexual abuse victim you've described. It wouldn't be their fault to cause or allow having been molested as a child. They were a child and being a child means a diminishment of choice. As an adult, though--with freedom to earn a living of their own and live in a home of their choosing--being around people who continue to sexually exploit them would be their fault. Even more so if they know how their childhood has set them up for further exploitation. If they think nothing of their molestation and continue to engage in exploitation as an adult, then that's not their fault since they don't know any better and haven't had the sufficient insight or revelation to realize that the exploitation is not normal or moral. But if they wake up to that fact and still continue to engage, then call it victim blaming, I call it taking personal responsibility. If someone perceives to have knowledge they don't, then they will stagnate in their personal development, because they will perceive themselves closer to a truth than they actually are. This seems like a tautology itself. This sounds like it could be seemingly undeniable too, but I'm not sure if it's true. Can you elaborate? If someone has the claim to have certain knowledge and they use it for themselves, and they indeed grow and function better in the world, is that really stagnation in personal development? Let's take something as wild as believing in the idea that the universe intends on certain things to happen to you. For better or worse, when something happens, someone believes that the universe is causing these things to teach that person a lesson. Seems irrational because the universe isn't an omniscient being who cares about your well being and has plans for you and signs for you to adhere to--but imagine you have this belief. Would it really be a stagnation in personal development if every time you fail, you take it as the universe trying to tell you something about where you are as a person? Didn't get that job you applied for? This must mean the universe wants you to go for another one or try again. Didn't get that second date with that girl you were super into? The universe must have someone better in mind for you. Couldn't succeed with that business you started? Guess the universe is telling you that this wasn't the business you were meant to run. And in the end, taking these shortcomings in this way and then redirecting your course, I think, would still count as personal development even if you would be claiming to have knowledge of what you don't really know. IE claiming to know the secret to life, as if it applies to everyone else and works just the same, when really it's just the lens you see it through. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barn Posted November 26, 2017 Share Posted November 26, 2017 Hi @MysterionMuffles On 11/19/2016 at 12:47 AM, MysterionMuffles said: Stefan's delivery in what regard? An hour's worth of metaphors rehashing the same lesson just to make sure the lesson lodges in your brain? Is it possible that the target audience of Stefan's could be generally characterised as 'above average IQ'? If it was true, would you say that people with a greater intellectual vigor lean towards getting a better understanding rather than a quick fix? People like those above two could have thought / read / worked already on those dilemmas relatively more, wouldn't you say? Don't you think they already heard a 1000times 'take responsibility' and 'it's you, not else'...? I might not 'resonate' with you in saying stuff like 'reason & evidence' is the most responsible approach, that's why the multitude of metaphors, anecdotes he has purposefully chosen to mention in relation to the core message. Sure he could condense (he has already btw) each hour to a minute or so but than it'd be indistinguishable from any other superficial 'motivational' speaker and would leave the gaping holes (I for one felt that watching the vid) people feel when encountering much repeated 'hallmark' cards, quite a few you've spoken yourself. It takes humility and hard-work to want to make a message not just 'digestible to the masses' but personal to the degree that you sort of able to see 'the arc of a person' his/her 'footsteps through a path'. Aaaand, don't get me wrong... Wishing you succeeded at doing what you do. It's just the superficial nature '1 dime a dozen' - level of uniqueness pep talk, then 'common' enticing language encouraging the growth of your channel (which I do hope you grow), I just immediately disregarded everything I heard thinking the only purpose of the video was created for is attracting viewership... no backed up arguments just a slogan. The over-hyped body language, The unilateral 'fake positivity' (implying, you've got no fears, doubts), no honesty in 'leveling' with the viewer ... etc. Like I said, I doubt my message will resonate and since you actually made a video while I haven't... well, I shouldn't be hypocritical about the 'doing something' part. I hope I could explain why I rather follow, read, connect to individuals who 'hash out' their thought processes and don't consider your content share-worthy as of yet. Keep us updated if you made any changes, maybe some of us will re-visit. Or not. Barnsley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meetjoeblack Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 On 11/17/2016 at 11:21 AM, MysterionMuffles said: Cute video. A lot of teeth whitener, attention whore outfit only masked with her cape top. If it was the 1950s, there would be censorship going on (granted the net was not around). All of these Ecky, Preston Smiles, Infinity Waters-Woo new age hipster horse shit is a joke. If this woman was 900lbs, fat as fuck slob, did not win the genetic lottery, never had a boyfriend or very limited sexual experiences, she would not be giving out this nonsense. Obviously, taking ownership of one's life and responsibility is key. Still, the message for marriage by Tucker Carlson to Helen Smith was that men should and need to take responsibility. Its just a ridiculous message in that circumstances given the divorce stats and the cuck fest parade that is going on. This video is nothing new. You can find a shit ton of the sense sentimental crap online. If these people were born with a facial disfigurement, were paralyzed, had much lower IQ, and lack of sexual ornamentation, they would be the first ones handing in their garage or toaster oven in bathtub. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meetjoeblack Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 On 11/20/2016 at 4:23 PM, Matthew Ed Moran said: Tautologies are tricky and can be misleading, because they present you with claims that are seemingly undeniable, but they don't provide any knowledge. At worst, they provide the perception of knowledge when no actual knowledge has been gained. If someone perceives to have knowledge they don't, then they will stagnate in their personal development, because they will perceive themselves closer to a truth than they actually are. When the lady in the video makes her claims, she is not providing any evidence. Many of the statements are tautologies that are true by definition. Maybe this is helpful for some people if it helps inspire them not to be nihilists, who would otherwise be nihilists; in the same the way religion can provide inspiration and sound moral conclusions while being non-rational. However, I'm skeptical non-rational secular beliefs can be as useful as religion, because there are many benefits to religion in providing a community and socially conservative norms (especially around sex and gender roles) that I don't necessarily see replicated outside of religions. It would also seem to me that a person who does not have rational means who is trying to find inspiration would have a more stable and comfortable place in a thousand year tradition than some new belief that lacks the infrastructure and historical significance that Christian religions have, but that's just sort of my perspective if I were in that position. I wish I read your posted before I responded. It would have saved me time. Outfit screams attention whore but, the little cape makes it "conservative" in 2017 (anybody with IQ above 83 knows the difference). As you stated, ZERO knowledge is gained, and nothing original or unique is provided in the least. If she had a disfigurement, a speech impediment, mental retardation, and or something different, the message would be clearer. Its not different then the series of attention whores with IG ass pics or some skanks talking "No Fap" to boost her views/likes on social media. Its the same turd polished and recycled out for our viewing content. I turned it off 30secs into it. I am currently reading "The Mating Mind" by Geoffry Miller. It is easy to spot the BS selling points and click-bait when made aware of mating mind nuances. If she was fat as fuck, slob, and had low IQ, would people have bothered to click the video? Said woman would have lost in the genetic lottery aesthetically and in terms of IQ brain power. Would she then preach this nonsense message of responsibility like every other sheep on the internet with a nonsense motivation video? A good portion of the life is arbitrary. In either event, one must play the hand they're dealt to the best of ones' ability. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MysterionMuffles Posted December 19, 2017 Author Share Posted December 19, 2017 Hm, I didn't know the concept of personal responsibility and learning how to manage your reactions to things out of your control was sentimental. I don't follow Alexi Panos' stuff anymore, but the idea put forth in this video has been helpful ever since. lol I don't get why it's so difficult for some people in this thread to accept that. Instead the attention is towards the fact that she's a semi attractive woman in short clothing in what appears to be a hot location *gasp* must be an attention whore. We either cause or allow the bad things that happen to us, and we're responsible for how we decide to handle life's random unpleasantries. Not a difficult concept to understand, especially in a self knowledge forum, so I'm surprised by the push back this video continues to cause, especially considering I posted it such a long time ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts