My experience in rehab

[FireMinstrel]

Two months ago, I checked into a detox facility to get clean from heroin.  How I ended up using is a long story, but I've had this problem for over three years.  Now, I was finally ready to do what I needed to do to not only stay clean, but to get away from the FOO.

However, I don't know if the approach used in the facility I went to is that conducive to recovery.  After a few days in detox, I transferred to a rehab facility where you stay until they can find you a place in a halfway house(which I wanted).  It was an all-women's program on the top floor of a hospital.  There were 20-something women all cooped up in that ward, unable to go outside very often.  We were fed hospital food and not allowed to have food brought in(although some staff would look the other way).  Since I have a lot of texture and taste issues(and always have), I pretty much lived off of apples and peanut-butter-jelly sandwiches for five weeks.

Every morning you'd get woken up by some harpy turning the lights on shrieking "Good morning, ladiiiiieeeees!!".  There were several "group sessions" throughout the day, heralded by staff shrieking "Group time, ladiiiiiiieees!!".

There was a lot of "female empowerment" garbage.  Like we were so awesome because we're women...nevermind that many of these women were virtually MGTOW fodder.  Many of them were planning to dump their boyfriends/husbands as soon as they were out of rehab, but in the meantime, had no problem accepting money/gifts/emotional support from their poor white knights.  Screaming matches between women were a regular thing, and occasionally, they were able to goad some of the female staff into similar fights.

I finally got released to a halfway house, where I'm relatively happy for now.  I'll be going back to work soon, and plan to re-enroll in school.  But I'm still bothered by my experience in that hospital  There's a certain atmosphere of clients being treated like children, which I don't understand for the life of me.  Is the belief that because people were abusing drugs, that they lost the right to be treated with a certain dignity?

It's a well-known statistic among people in recovery that a significant amount of people relapse early on, and I wonder if it's because of the way clients in rehab are treated?  But I don't know how it should be changed.  Any thoughts?  Are there any other folks here who have dealt with addiction and treatment?

[aviet]

I don't have any experience in such a place, but I know two people who have, a long time ago, and I would say neither have ever recovered. Both have negative mind-sets and are quick to blame their lot on anything available. One is particular is child-like and has been on welfare for about 15-20 years. He has not become an adult, taken responsibility and control of his life.

The nature of the rehab you mention seems manic. That you are questioning that, questioning the collectivism - rather than individual healing and that you seem to be looking forward and not wallowing seems positive.

Good luck.

[inquirius]

While I can't comment on addiction and the challenges that entails, I dealt with severe depression for about seven years, so I can at least speak to that.

 

For the small amount of time I went to therapy (the beginning of my depression), both one-on-one and group, I learned nothing and merely saw the system for what it is; chemical warehousing and lost souls trying to make sense of things in whatever feeble way they knew how, and failing often.  I was really confused that no one seemed to be concerned about how to actually permanently, strategically solve their problems, and the group counselors didn't give anyone any kind of direction.  The individual counselors put people on psychotropic drugs, and didn't achieve much beyond that.  After experiencing two rather misandric counselors, I really didn't care to continue the fruitless charade anyway. 

 

I soon left therapy for good and proceeded to spend most of my time going to trying to go to school while figuring out how to solve depression on my own.  What I think finally resolved my depression is a combination of four things; drug-induced extreme suicidal ideation which forced me off the psychotropic drugs, philosophy including the trivium method, learning about and carrying out strenuous working out/bodybuilding, and basically going MGTOW (ideally, more of a Stardusk-like MGTOW).  

 

The weightlifting and cardio in particular restored my brain, and I'm convinced that everyone, especially men, need to engage in strenuous workouts to calm their minds.  I never once thought my way out of depression--it was only when I forced my attention away from my mind, through working out, that I finally found a way out from under numbness and racing/bad thoughts.   

 

 

My plan, while I didn't fully grasp it at the time and though it's still a relatively recent development, has turned out well so far and I think now I know why; it was a full mind-body change, and the old, unfit mind-body needed to be discarded.  Through hard physical and mental work and determination, I'm creating a self I find worth living, and seeing the results of my efforts keeps me going, even through difficult days.

 

Overall, I think there comes a point in some lives where, once an individual has suffered thoroughly enough, he or she either has the innate willpower to make life-changing decisions, or doesn't.  No one really cares about the pain you go through, no one is going to do the work for you, and your situation isn't going to improve until you do that work.  You're alone, and you're either your own worst enemy, or your most ferocious advocate.                               

[FireMinstrel]

The good news is that now that I'm settled into a halfway house, I can consume my time with work, school, and working out at the gym.  Working out has always done my mind and body good as well.  The only thing that I'm wary about is that they really want you to go to meetings.  I mean, that's fine- I do enjoy SMART Recovery, which is 12-step free.  I also go to Narcotics Anonymous meetings, mostly to surround myself with people who have been in my shoes.  But instead of surrendering my will to some imaginary friend(i.e. "God"), I adopted reality as my "higher power", which is certainly much bigger than my drug-driven whims. At least I don't cause trouble, which automatically makes staff like me, since I make their job easier.

I suppose all treatment really does is give you an environment where you're protected from drugs and alcohol while you get your head on straight.  It would be nice, however, if they could take that certain element of condescension out of the picture.  Addicts already have a lot to deal with.

[Copper_Heart]

Hi there,

 

Generally when you put uniform on people they loose a bit of their humanity and compassion. There where other experiments of group of journalists pretending to be crazy, the where discovered by their inmates, but not by the "medical professionals". Sadly that's the way it is.

 

I'd recommend to you Van Der Kolk "Body keeps the score". Strongly.

 

 

Many of them were planning to dump their boyfriends/husbands as soon as they were out of rehab, but in the meantime,

 

C'mon, money and gifts are very empowering! One can write ton's about that. The ironical justice is that women are then stuck with this men, in general. They may get the money, but they are never to be as happy as a person who enjoys UPB like relationship. Not even close.

 

 

It's a well-known statistic among people in recovery that a significant amount of people relapse early on, and I wonder if it's because of the way clients in rehab are treated?

 

No, that's because rehab only deals with chemical dependency. Psychological dependency is still there. And sadly many people are just not interested in that. You are just lazy, you are just bum. People just don't or can't care. Being emotionally honest and kind to other people means you should be those things to yourself. Now do you think that this "Laaaaaaadies" woman really loves her self? Did she spent time soul searching or does she try to bury it under the high of instant gratification?

 

 

  But I don't know how it should be changed.  Any thoughts?

 

I think, it's the problem exacerbated by many other factors. Our society is producing this people like if it was it's purpose. Abused people, entitled people, and now rehabs can produce abused-entitled people. Every level of education is filled with bulling and abuse. Every day it adds up.

 

I could go on and on by listing changes: Personal bedrooms, better staff, a library, voluntary physical activities, bounding activities, classes about how to resolve conflicts peacefully and mediation for preventing conflicts. That seems like something basic. Of course inspections to those places should be as regular as breakfast, dinner and supper.

 

It nice to hear that you are better now, I bet it was hard to deal with that for 5 weeks.

[_LiveFree_]

When you were abusing yourself with drugs were you showing yourself dignity? If not, why would you expect others to bestow upon you something for which you not only have not earned, but had once and pissed away?

 

If you don't like how they treat you in a place like that then don't be there. Why do you think you made it out while others have not?

 

Is it a step up in the world to go from surrounding yourself with people who are actively supporting your suicide to people who treat you a bit like children?

[QueechoFeecho]

When you were abusing yourself with drugs were you showing yourself dignity? If not, why would you expect others to bestow upon you something for which you not only have not earned, but had once and pissed away?

 

If you don't like how they treat you in a place like that then don't be there. Why do you think you made it out while others have not?

 

Is it a step up in the world to go from surrounding yourself with people who are actively supporting your suicide to people who treat you a bit like children?

 

These answers probably won't be satisfactory to you, but I at least think they are true.  I also suspect you already know some of them.

1. No, not showing themself 100% dignity

2. If this is the US, then a facility like this has something called a Patient's Bill of Rights which includes a clause(s) stating each patient will be treated with dignity.

3. Made it out of what?  The facility?  That can't be what you're asking about, b/c I don't think many people die in that facility.  Are you asking about making it out of the snare of addiction?  If so, they're not out, but headed in a good direction.

4. Yes, clearly.

[saspatz]

The good news is that now that I'm settled into a halfway house, I can consume my time with work, school, and working out at the gym.  Working out has always done my mind and body good as well.  The only thing that I'm wary about is that they really want you to go to meetings.  I mean, that's fine- I do enjoy SMART Recovery, which is 12-step free.  I also go to Narcotics Anonymous meetings, mostly to surround myself with people who have been in my shoes.  But instead of surrendering my will to some imaginary friend(i.e. "God"), I adopted reality as my "higher power", which is certainly much bigger than my drug-driven whims. At least I don't cause trouble, which automatically makes staff like me, since I make their job easier.

I suppose all treatment really does is give you an environment where you're protected from drugs and alcohol while you get your head on straight.  It would be nice, however, if they could take that certain element of condescension out of the picture.  Addicts already have a lot to deal with.

As a recovered alcoholic with 30 years in AA. I find that the real purpose of meetings is to pull me out of me. 

I have a strong pull toward extreme self-centeredness, I address this by looking for ways I can be of service to others. This can be as basic as listening to them vomit up their latest drama. I didn't have to get sucked into it and it made me more conscious of when I was out of order with my own conduct. Now, I don't even get sucked into my own BS. THAT'S real serenity.