My family has gone full libtard... (Need Advice)

[jroseland]

It sounds funny written that way but it's actually really sad...

 

I'm the oldest I have two brothers and one sister.

 

My first brother knocked up his long-term girlfriend who I met at their wedding and then weirdly they got divorced about 6 months later. I tried to convince him to get a prenup and he didn't. There's another single mother, family courts trainwreck for you America!

He voted for Hillary; he was really convinced she was the lesser of two evils despite a fairly rigorous series of back and forth emails we had debating it.

He seems to worry about wealth inequality and climate change a lot despite my efforts to convince him to worry about other things a little more.

 

My second brother...

Couldn't be convinced to vote Trump.

I tried to share some of Stefan's videos with him and he refused to watch them. Just calling it white nationalist propaganda.

Since a trip to Africa, he seems to have become quiet the social justice warrior. Talking about white privilege, Black Lives Matter and made fun of my affinity for Ayn Rand.

I noticed recently on social media he mentioned that he donated to Planned Parenthood. Fucking who voluntarily donated to Planned Parenthood?? Still trying to wrap my head around that one...

 

My mom is a nice old Christian lady. She didn't like Trump because he was too scandalous a candidate.

 

My dad hates Trump. He voted for Clinton, Bush and Obama, he's your stereotypical baby boomer and a New York Times subscriber.

 

My sister actually seems pretty normal. She hasn't expressed any significant affection for the cultural Marxism that the rest seem to be embracing.

 

I've been living in Kiev, Ukraine for the last couple of months and I asked them not to vote for Hillary Clinton because Kiev would have maybe been a not so safe place in the event of a showdown between President Clinton and Putin. I gave them a bunch of other pragmatic reasons to vote Trump but they all voted for HRC.

 

It's weird because we all grew up Christian. Me and my brothers are pretty normal straight, white males; ever since we were young we all liked guns, fast cars, adventure, pretty girls, etc. My brothers - who are both pretty successful self-employed entrepreneurs now - are just the last people I would expect to turn into social justice warriors.

 

There's an important detail

I left them for nearly 5 years

I lived in Latin America for several years and have been in Europe 2 years.

I wonder if I had been there for them if it would have made a difference. Although, I stayed in  touch via Skype.

 

My options are

a) I could just cut off contact. Sometimes it's best to just cut things off with people you really disagree with. Although, I do actually like my family other than our ideological differences we get along quiet well without any crazy dysfunction.

b) I'm a pretty persuasive guy and the fact that I couldn't convince any of my family to vote Trump would seem to indicate that I'm not going to be convincing any of them of anything anytime soon. So holidays and family reunions for the foreseeable future are going to be ideological WW1 between us.

c) We could just make it a family rule that at reunions, Thanksgivings or fake weddings we never touch anything related to politics. No none first date friendly conversational topics.

I like to think that your family is your tribe that you share fundamental values with but it's 

looking like my immediate family is just some more people that I need to be politically correct around. 

d) I will give them an ultimatum; that one day when I'm starting my own family, if they are all still so mired in cultural Marxism I'm going to forbade them from contacting my family - at some point that I start my own family I wouldn't want them infected by their fake liberalism.

We have a vacation together scheduled next year. I think this would be a good time to have this difficult talk.

 

Has anyone on here had a similar dilemma of ideological dysfunction within their immediate family? How did you handle it?

[David Ottinger]

Why did your views go down a different path than theirs? 

[aviet]

I think your ideas of cutting off family because they don't agree with you are extreme. This is the type of behaviour of the left and safe spacers. Left ideas pervade on campus, in entertainment, in the news... and now they are trying to ban, censor and smear the growing backlash to their ideology. Right and libertarian people don't tend to act in such a way. They go low and we ignore them as they go lower.

 

There are a number of themes that could be at work driving the cultural Marxist predilections of your family:

 

- they want to use emotional manipulation to divert resources towards themselves and their tribe

- they want to use emotional manipulation to gain the moral high ground

- they have been wooed into the tribe of Hispanics placed in the victim hierarchy and as a result are adopting facets of this tribe (If I am right your family is Colombian?)
- they see it is increasing their sexual market value among a group that is given to promiscuity

- they use it as an excuse to absolve themselves of responsibilities

- they want to belong to something now all traditional groups you might belong to are being torn down and labeled hate groups

Given that your brothers seem to be financially successful , my guess it is to do with the moral high ground. Just as some people are addicted to power, others are addicted to feeling good about themselves by cradling perceived victims. It has nothing to do with morals or values, in most cases, as you can see their morals and values are not universally applied, for example a poor, black person burning down their neighborhood is a victim, but Clarence Thomas is a koon. It has little to do with morals, values, or even identities and more to do with perpetuating psycho-emotional states.

For the vast majority, their actual drives are unconscious and this creates a disjointed outlook, based on a wishy-washy amalgam of bits and pieces, with no real direction, goal, ability to counter arguments etc. And that is why, I think, your brother would dismiss videos without watching them.

When I was about 17-20, I vaguely subscribed to notions that would now be called social justice. This wasn't a particularly big part of the way I saw the world, particularly not in any way approaching concrete. But I can analyse what was propelling my thinking and mentality:

I had a victimhood outlook, probably largely because I was victimised and subsequently came across material that justified that outlook in a wider context. This wider context was a focus on perceived victims and how the perception of victimhood could be used as an excuse to complain and absolve X of all responsibility. I can firmly say that I actually wanted the situations of (perceived) victimhood to exist as at that point it worked for my mental-emotional state. What do you think the likes of Al Shaprton, Bill Ayers, Saul Alinsky would do if all the victimisation they use to prop up their entire being ceased to exist? The answer is they would have to conjure mirages and endlessly cry wolf, which is what they have been doing. For some people thinking that you can blame all your problems on someone else is very seductive. It excuses you of everything.

 

I have a very shallow subconscious and was vaguely aware that I wanted to perpetuate the notion of victimhood even when there was no justification for it because it suited my psycho-emotional state at that time; but I think the vast majority of people, particularly hardened SJWs, are completely unaware of what is really going on in their mind.

In the case of SJWs, their outlook gives them (in their mind):

- the moral high ground

- the excuse of personal responsibility, because everything is the fault of someone else, or some other group

- a right to other people's labour and possessions on right of being a victim, or siding with victims

- a right to state power to end 'social injustice'

This is very attractive to some people.

[Iron Horse]

A) Your behavior is worse than those as you are forcing them to agree with your beliefs or else is childish, petulant and likely to reinforce all negative beliefs they hold about whatever associations you have tried to share with them.

 

B) Evidence would say you are not a 'pretty convincing guy' as you have failed to impart any lasting impression of your beliefs on family members, those who trust and love you.  You also threaten to cut off contact.

C) Given the manner of your post I suspect that you are the one that brings up the majority of any political conversations.  But yes, this appears to be the best option of those you have said.

D) Again, your insistence on wanting to cut off contact is immature.  Your desperate need to create a safe space for yourself is no different to the ones that are being called for in Universities all across the West.

 

You have neglected to mention how or where this vacation will take place, I strongly urge you to not bring it up and let it pass without incident.  If for reasons beyond your control issues are raised by other members of the family, reply with a few certifiable facts and move on.

[AccuTron]

"My brothers - who are both pretty successful self-employed entrepreneurs now - are just the last people I would expect to turn into social justice warriors."

Hmm, got that deserved money, time to chase tail...oh, but that requires homage to Hillary, 'cause that tail don't think so good.  If already married, same principle applies.  Also applies to some customers.

 

"I wonder if I had been there for them if it would have made a difference."

Nope.  

Iron Horse:  those safe places on campus are in opposition to honesty and truth.  OP is trying to create a place for honesty and truth.

[Iron Horse]

They believe what they are spouting is honest and true, though it is irrelevant, closing one's self of from people in a social environment because of differing opinions is of no benefit to anybody and discredits both you and your argument.

[Lens]

The truth about the Clintons and Obama is out there if people want to know the truth they can now with a push of a button but if they refuse to acknowledge the truth because it makes them anxious then it is not worth it to push it on them you just have to leave emotionally not only physically and not expect them to change because you may wait for a long time and can reinforce your illusions and your emotional dependency.

[JoeH]

If you have a decent damily who treats you well, then maybe you should try to maintain those relationships? Perhaps you could talk with them about how your ideologies differ? But if they are genuinely virtuous and honest people, I would try to maintain loving and respectful relationships with them.

 

Good luck.

[EuanM]

It doesn't sound like you don't have much contact with your family as things stand? Therefor option C sounds like a perfectly tenable option for the time being. The tricky bit comes when you have children, if that's something you really want then cutting ties completely starts to sound like it might be something worth doing, as you don't want to give them the chance to infect your children with there irrationality.

 

Bu the sounds of your description of your relationship that might not be much of a stretch from where you are now?

 

I think your ideas of cutting off family because they don't agree with you are extreme. This is the type of behaviour of the left and safe spacers. Left ideas pervade on campus, in entertainment, in the news... and now they are trying to ban, censor and smear the growing backlash to their ideology. Right and libertarian people don't tend to act in such a way. 

 

With the upshot being that the Left are basically in charge of the world.

[thecurrentyear]

Why the downvotes for Iron Horse? Speaking truth should not get you ostracized around here. 

 

I'd focus your efforts on your sister, OP. Except you'll need to do that in the opposite way from what you've attempted so far, else you'll push her into SJWism by being so repulsive and unbearable a conservative as you have been.