Lost in transition in life

[BPBryan]

My main question is, how do you find ways to figure out what career path to take next?

 

I've been a long time listener and few time poster here and I'm looking for some advice towards my current situation. Recently, I became unemployed and on severance for the next 3 weeks. This job only lasted 2 months and has caused me much stress and frustration. Prior I had a stable job for 4 years that was not that stressful and I liked the people/company. I moved on from this job in pursuit of something better and with a possibility to learn more and grow my career. The position and company was not a good fit, my boss recognized this early on and started to see I was struggling. I was doing intern work as a result and she didn't allow me to take on more work because of this. I became frustrated as I wasn't receiving any guidance and support to learn more and also because the company/position was not what we discussed and thought it was.

 

Overall, now I'm out of work, in a city that I like but away from family. I have a few options to consider and feel like I have to decide soon.

First is to stay in the city and look for work. This option is the most difficult as I don't have a network to work with by finding similar jobs and feel depressed from being close to my old job without being able to work there.

Second is to move back home, regroup with family and friends then decide where to take my career.

Third, I have a possible job lined up across the country that is similar to my old good job. It's 25% less pay and new part of the country, I'm 29 so not that young to pickup and move on a dime. Fortunately I could if really necessary as I'm single with no dependents.

Fourth, move down to new state with best friend and live with his family for a while. Cheap rent and close to friends family would be the best part. Being in a small town with no work would not be good.

 

Within the past month, I began taking medications for depression and anxiety. This is not normal for me as I've always been good in life but these past two months really shocked my system and life.

 

I've been talking to family and friends about my situation which has been a blessing as they have helped me through it. They understand what I'm going through but it's difficult with the distance. I think most of my underlying fear that I have revolves around uncertainty. These past two months I haven't been able to relax as often to contemplate these decision.

 

 

 

[Drew.]

My main question is, how do you find ways to figure out what career path to take next?

 

I think that being a counselor is exactly the thing that I have always wanted to do with my life. Since I was a child, I always wanted to be a healer in some capacity, and I think that what I provide is a great and valuable service, and has the capability of tremendously helping an individual. In sort, I think that I have found what I like to do and might be able to offer something to help you get to what you want to do.

 

Before I was a therapist, I was mostly an English teacher in Asia. I didn't enjoy the work all of the time. Sometimes, I taught in classrooms that were either public schools or structured similarly to public schools. Sometimes, I was a private tutor, and would meet my clients for a meal. Those were nice, although some of them could be quite tricky. English teaching was a way to keep me afloat.

 

While I was being kept alive with this income source, I was journaling like crazy while meeting a therapist with some regularity. I was working on myself to learn more about who I was as a person, to separate who I was supposed to be from who I was contorted into through trauma and having to meet the needs of my parents (when they should have met their own needs, not used me in that manner, and provided for my own emotional/psychological needs). It took awhile, about four years of hard work and really diving in all the time, but then becoming a counselor just clicked for me.

 

I don't think that the next job that you take will be something you are passionate about or something that you want to make a career out of. I highly recommend journaling and meeting regularly with a therapist to help figure out what you'll want to do more longterm (by figuring out what makes you happy and confronting and rejecting incorrect internalized beliefs). For this step, I would recommend something that you won't mind doing terribly much, pays enough to keep yourself alive and somewhat comfortable, and will give you time to introspect (once again, I highly recommend this if you're not already doing this). I realize that what I have shared is not a direct answer to your question, but hopefully with what I have shared, you can gain some perspective in which to make a better, more clear decision. The simple fact is that none of us on this board will have enough information to point you in one direction or another, and even if we had more information, there is no way of knowing how each of those scenarios would play out.

[BPBryan]

Thank you Drew for your insight and response. I've always been amazed at how others navigate their career and am inspired by yours and the clarity you have on it.

 

For me it's been accounting, which is fine but now I'm getting older and not growing or learning as much in the field and have no desire to move up in the field, which is concerning for me. I'm bouncing from entry level job to entry level job trying to find away but realizing it's not for me.

 

Since out of work now I'm fumbling and thinking the next job I take should set a good foot and propel me on a long term career path, which isn't necessary at this time. Taking time off to work a job to maintain some security and comfort is possible.

 

I've been in therapy a few times over the years but it hasn't worked out as well as I thought. I still feel clueless about myself and direction even though many people have told me to try something else and new. This speaks of my confidence level right now as I've been thinking I've made bad decisions these past months with taking on this new job. I struggle with too much optimism with thinking I can do other careers but don't always put in the tough work to learn and grow from it. I haven't been in therapy in a few months but will revisit it once I find a stable job somewhere.

 

What were the difficult aspects of therapy for you and when did you find out it was working? I haven't had many moments like this but generally feel good after therapy.

[Drew.]

The first session that I had with my therapist is when I fell in love with the process. We were doing the Internal Family Systems model, and we had explored some minor issue and resolved it that session (if memory serves me).

 

First what was difficult was admitting that I needed therapy in the first place. Well, I knew that I did, but I thought that I could put it off until I was in a better place than where I was at. I had some good fortune, and began therapy sooner than I was expecting. When I reflect, I think that I should have sought it sooner, but that is just how life works out. Then what I found challenging were the issues that would come up, such as self-attack, self-doubt, self-distrust, etc.

 

Because I was so thrilled with the process, I really dove into it. Immediately after my first session, I began trying to do the process that I did with my therapist in my journal. One of my friends at the time commented about how I journal so much. I didn't have a computer or television that I could distract myself with, so I literally had almost nothing to do except journal.

 

This process was definitely not direct and linear in regards to figuring out what I wanted to do. It just kind of came to me one day, and my thoughts were pretty much, well, what else am I going to do?

[David Ottinger]

http://www.selfauthoring.com/

 

 

You can do the future authoring program for free right now with the code: changeyourself

[aviet]

I'd imagine finding a good therapist is quite difficult. You could end up with a radical like this:



On my depression, my advice is to become ruggedly determined to not be depressed. Its very easy to languish in a pool, climbing to heights requires work and determination.

[AccuTron]

I'd imagine finding a good therapist is quite difficult. You could end up with a radical like this:

 

On my depression, my advice is to become ruggedly determined to not be depressed. Its very easy to languish in a pool, climbing to heights requires work and determination.

Yow!  I got depressed seeing that image!  I think work and determination can be easily found by repeatedly viewing it, then climbing to heights.  I picture bulging mental biceps.  

[BPBryan]

Thanks Drew for your responses. It's going to take me time to dig myself out of the working slump and depression to figure what is going to be my next path. I have a few good working options. They won't make me much money but possibly give me time to regroup, decompress and learn how to grow from these challenges.

 

Thanks David, I signed up for the future authoring and working on it now.

 

For the depression, I'm working on staying active and thinking positively. I won't be seeing a therapist like above! Scary stuff.