celticwar17 Posted February 11, 2017 Share Posted February 11, 2017 https://mustbethistalltoride.com/2016/01/14/she-divorced-me-because-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink/ So my girlfriend saw this article a couple years ago... and she found it to be very helpful and informative and wanted me to read it. I did, and at first... I did not come to the same conclusions as she did on what this article was about... and maybe because at the same time I read this for the first time I listened to a Stefan Caller podcast that explained a very similar situation... My first question is that I am having a hard time finding that podcast I listened to. I want to show my girlfriend it, because I think it represents my thoughts perfectly. It was about this guy or his wife admitting he became increasingly naggy about cleaning or the "proper" way of doing things... and stefan had a really good conversation about putting this perspective, on what things are truly a big deal or not. Anyone know which podcast this was? It's really hard to find them now haha since they are so many... And... Do you guys agree with the article above? To me, it sounds very one sided. When I first read this article a couple years ago I thought that this man wasn't excusing the woman's behavior, but now it seems kind of like he is. It seems very one sided, in which as a man or husband... even beyond reason, should just put your head down and serve... and be happy about it. My girlfriend and I had a small argument about it today, because she referenced this article. maybe we should go on the show lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wuzzums Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 I don't think it's a good sign in any relationship when you have to bring in a third party to resolve a conflict. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_LiveFree_ Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 You're both not being honest with yourselves or each other. It's not about the glass, cleaning in general, or who should do what. All that stuff is easy with two healthy people. I'd highly recommend reading Stefan's book Real Time Relationships. Read it again if you have to. Or ask her to listen to the audiobook with you. Your commitment should be to the relationship. If you find yourself fighting for anything else, ya fucked up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mister Mister Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 What does the man get in return from the woman for pandering to trivial preferences about things like glasses left next to the sink? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thecurrentyear Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 I can't read that article. Yes there are some good points about men doing manly things. Where is the woman's responsibility to accept her man as a man who does not give two shits about the glass next to the sink? Be a woman and clean the goddamned house so he can move heavy things or use his brain on strenuous problems. Made me angry to see him taking responsibility for her dissatisfaction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meetjoeblack Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 I can't read that article. Yes there are some good points about men doing manly things. Where is the woman's responsibility to accept her man as a man who does not give two shits about the glass next to the sink? Be a woman and clean the goddamned house so he can move heavy things or use his brain on strenuous problems. Made me angry to see him taking responsibility for her dissatisfaction. + 1 I think this is one of the only times we saw eye to eye on a subject. I completely agree. I am reading through one of Stefan's many books. It is shedding the light on some of my own contradictions and hypocrisies. For instance, Stefan made a point about if a woman doesn't introduce a man to her family or friends it is deceitful or dishonest. It is likely an indicator of her being ashamed or something. I have made this mistake but, I feel like the need to shield my family until I know someone is legitimate. As for gender roles, traditionalism is shot to death and it is not coming back unless the state/daddy government fails. Then, women will come crawling back to sandwich making and apron wearing. If (god forbid) war or a zombie outbreak, the female chameleon will come out guns blazing; victimhood one sec and perpetrator the next. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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