Stefan bites his nails

[Gloria]

It takes one to know one and I did notice.

Does it concern you Stefan?

I try to stop; as it is a very unbecoming look for a woman, but I am guessing that , much like weight issues, these vices come from less than peaceful upbringings.  Do you agree? Or, perhaps, this is simply a indicator of something else. I have often noticed it in people I would describe as high achievers, but I have also noticed it in people with severe drug or alcohol dependencies.  It could just be a quirk that some of us have and others do not.

It "runs in my family."

[WasatchMan]

Why do you think it should be concerning?

[brucethecollie]

From what I've read and from what my therapist told me, it usually comes from anxiety in childhood. Most nail biters pick it up in childhood, not in adulthood, after all. I think it is unbecoming on anyone.

 

I have bitten my nails since I was 6--when I started school and felt a great deal of social anxiety and anxiety at having to be somewhere I didn't want to be all day as well as away from my parents. The first time I did it however was because a friend did and I copied her.

 

My therapist said I'm "highly sensitive" which means I was predisposed to this kind of anxiety. I have found it interesting that when I quit biting my nails, I pick up another nervous habit to take it's place and act out some OCD, meaning I haven't dealt with the root cause. 

 

I can't afford more therapy now but I think i've noticed that most of my anxiety has to do with not doing what I know I should be doing. But not eating well or not exercising enough will make matters worse. Hormone fluctuations during the month (pms) is the only time during which I bite my nails nowadays (3-4 days each month) but if I manage not to I find that I become a bit of a cleaning freak. 

 

Anyway, I haven't noticed if Stefan does or not but I will say that his cuticles and fingers look pretty good which is a sign he doesn't do it to an alarming degree (like every day). And without a stable childhood I'd say it is a common thing to see in others. A little nail biting when stressed or busy or worried about something is something I see all over the place unfortunately. 

 

Gloria do you know why you are a nail biter?

[Boss]

I have never notice Stefan biting his nails, could you link the source?

I use to bit my nails as a child and it didnt help my teeth Luckily I was able to stop the habit. 

[Mole]

I've noticed he puts his fingers up to his mouth. I can imagine it. But I can't remember any time I saw him biting his nails.

[M.2]

It takes one to know one and I did notice.

Does it concern you Stefan?

I try to stop; as it is a very unbecoming look for a woman, but I am guessing that , much like weight issues, these vices come from less than peaceful upbringings.  Do you agree? Or, perhaps, this is simply a indicator of something else. I have often noticed it in people I would describe as high achievers, but I have also noticed it in people with severe drug or alcohol dependencies.  It could just be a quirk that some of us have and others do not.

It "runs in my family."

Why does this topic have so many downvotes? Is the biting of nails not a legitimate psychological concern? Is it that Mr.Molyneux does in fact not bite his nails? I genuinely don't understand.

[shirgall]

Why does this topic have so many downvotes? Is the biting of nails not a legitimate psychological concern? Is it that Mr.Molyneux does in fact not bite his nails? I genuinely don't understand.

 

It is a form of concern trolling, whether consciously or not, to offer helpful advice or point something out that would matter only in a sitcom. If there were some problems that required analysis of subconscious behaviors it might be worth looking into, but instead of focusing on the message of any particular video this is the element that draws a posting?

[DaVinci]

It is a form of concern trolling, whether consciously or not, to offer helpful advice or point something out that would matter only in a sitcom. If there were some problems that required analysis of subconscious behaviors it might be worth looking into, but instead of focusing on the message of any particular video this is the element that draws a posting?

 

I've seen people here post the same type of message seen in the OP to other users on this board and those messages got upvotes. If the OP is concern trolling then why is some concern trolling approved of and some disapproved of? 

[Gloria]

Where does one begin ...concern trolling ...great term, first I have heard it. I agree for a guy, i.e. Stefan ...no one gives a damn if he bites his nails.  Ahhh ...but the judgements seem different for females ...perhaps??  I saw some take a shot at Kelly Ann Conway over this pic:

 

I see Mother of Four ...successful career and nails that show it.  Others are not so kind or understanding.  I myself look this bad more often than not.

I had a reoccurring dream as a kid and the only way out of "the danger" was to bite ones own nails ...and so I comply.  I can often with intense consideration for my reputation, or will to appeal to my husband, overcome it for a few months ...but inevitably one breaks and as they say ....the rest is history.

 

I find it amusing this topic took such attention.  Is that because I took a hit at Stefan or for some other reason?  Love it ...sometimes to test the waters ..one needs to throw a curve ball :-)

[WasatchMan]

Where does one begin ...concern trolling ...great term, first I have heard it. I agree for a guy, i.e. Stefan ...no one gives a damn if he bites his nails.  Ahhh ...but the judgements seem different for females ...perhaps??  I saw some take a shot at Kelly Ann Conway over this pic:

 

I see Mother of Four ...successful career and nails that show it.  Others are not so kind or understanding.  I myself look this bad more often than not.

I had a reoccurring dream as a kid and the only way out of "the danger" was to bite ones own nails ...and so I comply.  I can often with intense consideration for my reputation, or will to appeal to my husband, overcome it for a few months ...but inevitably one breaks and as they say ....the rest is history.

 

I find it amusing this topic took such attention.  Is that because I took a hit at Stefan or for some other reason?  Love it ...sometimes to test the waters ..one needs to throw a curve ball :-)

 

So your standard is that the scum in the left wing media have attacked Kelly Ann Conway, and therefore????

 

You are on a message board complaining about posts getting attention, take a jab insinuating people asked you questions just because we have a need to defend Stefan, and then act like this is just a social experiment?  Maybe you aren't cut out for this.

[Gloria]

So your standard is that the scum in the left wing media have attacked Kelly Ann Conway, and therefore????

 

You are on a message board complaining about posts getting attention, take a jab insinuating people asked you questions just because we have a need to defend Stefan, and then act like this is just a social experiment?  Maybe you aren't cut out for this.

Wow! That is a mouthful ...Thank You :-)

I identify with Kelly Ann ...what greater compliment can one pay.

Complaining about posts getting attention ...totally lost on me ...not sure what provoked this response.  Please comment further.

I hypothesized that perhaps the interest was because of Stefan, and left it open at that.  Please either conclude, for or against, with some discussion.

Maybe you aren't cut out for this ...ahhh yes ...the left shoe drops. Let's tidy things up with an insult.  Balls in your court!

[shirgall]

Where does one begin ...concern trolling ...great term, first I have heard it. I agree for a guy, i.e. Stefan ...no one gives a damn if he bites his nails.  Ahhh ...but the judgements seem different for females ...perhaps??

 

It's a philosophy forum so we deal in universal truths.

 

The reason I brought up the term "concern trolling" is that it is a term for someone who claims to be helping but who brings up issues that detract from the conversation's point. A lot of things come up in the forum like that.

[Gloria]

It's a philosophy forum so we deal in universal truths.

 

The reason I brought up the term "concern trolling" is that it is a term for someone who claims to be helping but who brings up issues that detract from the conversation's point. A lot of things come up in the forum like that.

Thanks. This is helpful information.  Let me rewind a little. 

It is a philosophy forum, on which, one of the predefined categories or subjects is peaceful parenting.  I did use that tag, or certainly it was my intent to do so ...allowing for user error. I sought simply to see if there was a correlation between the behavior of nail-biting and how one was raised. Allowing for erroneous and immature deviations from the original point (on the part of myself and possibly others), is this point a valid point to bring up in this forum?  If I understand your point, it is not.  Are you also saying that the effect of one's parenting "style" is outside the conversation, or was the original establishment of "parenting" as a subject, outside the subject of philosophy? ( it having already been established upon my arrival and hearing Stefan speak of it, I "assumed" it was within the universe of the forum's topics. 

I am curious, for instance, had I originally posted a question about; the physical posture of a child that is beaten repeatedly versus the posture of a child that has never been beaten, would that have been worthy of discussion?  

[_LiveFree_]

I'm still trying to figure out what this thread is about. 

[Gloria]

I'm still trying to figure out what this thread is about. 

I started it and am not sure either :-) An onion perhaps.  I am very new to this forum and any kind of a blog like this. I mean no harm, just trying to participate.

[shirgall]

I am curious, for instance, had I originally posted a question about; the physical posture of a child that is beaten repeatedly versus the posture of a child that has never been beaten, would that have been worthy of discussion?  

 

If you had led with nail-biting running in your family and wondering if it was indicative of something it probably would have been different.

[DaVinci]

If you had led with nail-biting running in your family and wondering if it was indicative of something it probably would have been different.

 

But she brought that up. It's the last line of her post. "It "runs in my family." "  She also brings up the question of what other behaviors this habit could be linked to, and where it could be coming from. 

[shirgall]

But she brought that up. It's the last line of her post. "It "runs in my family." "  She also brings up the question of what other behaviors this habit could be linked to, and where it could be coming from. 

 

I know that, which is why I mentioned it... but the posting started with observations of Stefan and not the personal relevance. Setting the stage is important.

[DaVinci]

I know that, which is why I mentioned it... but the posting started with observations of Stefan and not the personal relevance. Setting the stage is important.

 

Actually the post itself does start with the personal relevance. "Takes one to know one" It's not like she wasn't upfront about that she does the same thing. Maybe the way she phrased her post could be better, but I don't think that means her post was malicious. 

[Gloria]

I know that, which is why I mentioned it... but the posting started with observations of Stefan and not the personal relevance. Setting the stage is important.

"To determine the true rulers of any society, all you must do is ask yourself this question: Who is it that I am not permitted to criticize?"  Kevin Strom

 

This is what shows in the box just prior to this comment.   Just find that amusing on some level. Stefan, in my mind, provides much of the content by way of his you tube videos, his body language one could argue, is a part of his presentation (allowing for the consideration that what I think I witnessed was true and not a mistake , as one pointed out he often puts his fingers to his mouth, etc.).  I attempted to direct a question to him in my original post (naive given his rise in popularity) It never occurred to me that some would take it as a false accusation if you will. The discussion has unraveled far more important considerations, I think.

 

And so , to use a hook if you will, in a headline, doesn't meet kindly with all participants.  I will try to tame my poetic license.

 

As to the , "only matters in a sitcom" ...statement.  I take exception to such dismissal of what could be a potential "red flag" to someone exposed to a high level of stress, good or bad, yet to be determined.  We can not help children if we simply dismiss them and frankly to observe their physical condition , including body language, is something I would like to promote as something we can all be mindful of.

I've seen people here post the same type of message seen in the OP to other users on this board and those messages got upvotes. If the OP is concern trolling then why is some concern trolling approved of and some disapprov

Thank you.  I am unfamiliar with the upvote/ downvote concept , and would like to learn.  I see there are reputation points.  That seems intuitive.  I do think there were originally downvotes that were removed, or counteracted by positive votes. Is that correct?

[shirgall]

As to the , "only matters in a sitcom" ...statement.  I take exception to such dismissal of what could be a potential "red flag" to someone exposed to a high level of stress, good or bad, yet to be determined.  We can not help children if we simply dismiss them and frankly to observe their physical condition , including body language, is something I would like to promote as something we can all be mindful of.

 

Perhaps I was indelicate.

 

Should I have instead said, "when once faces on oncoming tiger we often don't take the time to observe that its fur is matted"?

 

I spend very little time on the appearance of Stef (or even his slides) when I consume a video as I am spending a great deal of my effort listening to what he has to say. Heck, I think I have made comments on the audio quality a great deal more than video quality.

 

That's why I interpreted the original posting as a mild personal attack ("Does it concern you Stefan?") and not a insightful reflection mulling the ripples on the pond on the body that indicate subsurface battles with personal demons in the mind (or maybe just caffeine).

I am curious, for instance, had I originally posted a question about; the physical posture of a child that is beaten repeatedly versus the posture of a child that has never been beaten, would that have been worthy of discussion?  

 

Oh, I know that it can be important. Heck, I am nearly 50 years old and I *still* flinch at fast upraised hand movements... and people *notice* that I flinch.

 

I bite my nails, too, but I'm pretty sure it has more to do with "Monster Energy" and not the fact that authority figures sought to correct my behavioral strayings with lacquered dead plant material with holes drilled in them when I was in school. One could observe that I was always a libertarian has more to do with that.

 

Please don't read acrimony in what I'm writing here. I have no idea what tone of voice you read what I write in, but you might be taking it harder than the mild chiding that I'm intending.

[RichardY]

"A census taker once tried to test me I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti."

 

Looking at form and inferring substance. (feminine) Form of the Titan.

 

Looking at substance and speculating action. (masculine)

 

Maybe....

[brucethecollie]

Gloria, I agree with the criticism you've received of this line: "Does it concern you Stefan?"

 

I blew past that to discuss your personal thoughts on your own habit as well as your question about why people bite their nails.

[RichardY]

"This little light of mine, I'm going let it shine....". 

 

"Let me take you down, cause I'm going to Strawberry fields"