Might you date this person?

[Flip]

I've been with a woman for about a year and am trying to figure out where this relationship could lead. I'm wondering how seriously I should take some things I think I've learned about this person. I'd like to list these things, and I'd like to know what y'all think, especially under what conditions, if any, you would consider dating someone like this:

 

-raised in two-parent household that included emotionally abusive, almost criminally negligent, emotionally unbalanced, depressive mother

-is 38 years old

-has been in 11 relationships with men over the course of her life

-left a 10-year marriage due to marital dissatisfaction. The man was not physically or emotionally abusive. He's a socialist, but otherwise decent guy with a good job.

-She leans left but is largely apolitical, and has been willing to forgo having opinions on issues she doesn't know about. She's disengaged from political issues.

-Is willing to homeschool and has the financial situation to easily do this.

-seems willing to let her mother be alone with, take care of, any future child we may have, although she could change her mind about this; I haven't pressed the matter

-she's said she's come to believe that all romantic relationships she could ever enter into would have an equal chance of success or failure.

-It seems she has a low opinion of men in general. High opinion of me, perhaps, and at least one of her exes, but low opinion of men.

 

Thanks for reading!

[Gavitor]

Might I date this woman? Absolutely not!

 

You already posted a full list of reasons not to. Hell the 11 failed relationships and leaving a marriage due to "dissatisfaction" were more than enough reason not to in and of themselves.

[thecurrentyear]

You haven't said anything about what she thinks of her past relationships in hindsight. Does she know what she did wrong to cause the problems in the relationship and the selection of the men?

Any self-knowledge or therapy?

[Boss]

"raised in two-parent household that included emotionally abusive, almost criminally negligent, emotionally unbalanced, depressive mother"

"seems willing to let her mother be alone with, take care of, any future child we may have"

Has the mother been through therapy and recognized the abuse she caused? If not, why would she be willing to let her mother be alone with and "take care" of the child when she knows how her mother treated her?  

also

"future child we may have"

"is 38 years old"


Well, The biological clock is ticking. Do you want to have a child with a 38-year old woman who left one marriage due to "dissatisfaction" and who happens to lean left? have you watched the red pill documentary? or understand how the government handles divorce and children.

 

I dont want to tell you what you should do. But I hope you can recognize the importance of the long-term commitment that comes with having children and how important the family structure is.

I wish you well, Good luck   

[Flip]

She doesn't seem to believe her process of selecting men was flawed. She has indicated that relationships have about an equal chance of success or failure. She does seem to regret divorcing her husband -- lots of guilt and pain there.

She's been to about three years of talk therapy since the divorce.

[thecurrentyear]

She doesn't seem to believe her process of selecting men was flawed. She has indicated that relationships have about an equal chance of success or failure. She does seem to regret divorcing her husband -- lots of guilt and pain there.

She's been to about three years of talk therapy since the divorce.

 

And based on all you've said, what do you think?

[NotDarkYet]

does she take any responsibility for those failed relationships?

 

so far my spidey sense says "don't get involved"

[David Ottinger]

Odds of a healthy relationship coming out of that aren't in your favor.

[cab21]

What does it matter what any of us would do, what do you think about dating her?any of us could say no for any reason, but what are your reasons for saying yes or no?

[neeeel]

It seems like a strange question. You must know what the answer of the majority of people here would be. You probably really know the answer yourself. So I am wondering what you are actually looking for?

[twinklingwinter]

Did you get my PM?

[Flip]

What does it matter what any of us would do, what do you think about dating her?any of us could say no for any reason, but what are your reasons for saying yes or no?

Not exactly sure why it matters; it was just something I felt I wanted to do. Perhaps it's because I don't have any redpilled people in my life to talk to about this.

It seems like a strange question. You must know what the answer of the majority of people here would be. You probably really know the answer yourself. So I am wondering what you are actually looking for?

Yes, I had a very good idea of what might be said. I think I reached out partially because I don't entirely trust my own mind at the moment, and part of me wants to be told what to do, to have a clear, correct answer no part of me can deny or doubt -- I acknowledge this possibility as I resist it. Relationships are so hard

Many thanks to all replying! Very good points and it's nice to have other minds to help.

"raised in two-parent household that included emotionally abusive, almost criminally negligent, emotionally unbalanced, depressive mother"

 

"seems willing to let her mother be alone with, take care of, any future child we may have"

 

Has the mother been through therapy and recognized the abuse she caused? If not, why would she be willing to let her mother be alone with and "take care" of the child when she knows how her mother treated her?

 

also

 

"future child we may have"

 

"is 38 years old"

 

 

Well, The biological clock is ticking. Do you want to have a child with a 38-year old woman who left one marriage due to "dissatisfaction" and who happens to lean left? have you watched the red pill documentary? or understand how the government handles divorce and children.

 

I dont want to tell you what you should do. But I hope you can recognize the importance of the long-term commitment that comes with having children and how important the family structure is.

 

I wish you well, Good luck

Very cognizant of the biological clock, and it's very worrisome. She doesn't seem to be taking any measures on this, which part of me wishes he would if having a child was important to her, which it doesn't seem to be; never figured hugely into her life plans and it's non-essential for her. The mother has refused therapy, and she self medicates. Her psychological and ethical problems appear to persist o a degree. This is a person I don't want in our lives, nor does my gf...Just not sure to what extent it's possible to exclude her.

"raised in two-parent household that included emotionally abusive, almost criminally negligent, emotionally unbalanced, depressive mother"

 

"seems willing to let her mother be alone with, take care of, any future child we may have"

 

Has the mother been through therapy and recognized the abuse she caused? If not, why would she be willing to let her mother be alone with and "take care" of the child when she knows how her mother treated her?

 

also

 

"future child we may have"

 

"is 38 years old"

 

 

Well, The biological clock is ticking. Do you want to have a child with a 38-year old woman who left one marriage due to "dissatisfaction" and who happens to lean left? have you watched the red pill documentary? or understand how the government handles divorce and children.

 

I dont want to tell you what you should do. But I hope you can recognize the importance of the long-term commitment that comes with having children and how important the family structure is.

 

I wish you well, Good luck

Very cognizant of the biological clock, and it's very worrisome. She doesn't seem to be taking any measures on this, which part of me wishes he would if having a child was important to her, which it doesn't seem to be; never figured hugely into her life plans and it's non-essential for her. The mother has refused therapy, and she self medicates. Her psychological and ethical problems appear to persist o a degree. This is a person I don't want in our lives, nor does my gf...Just not sure to what extent it's possible to exclude her.

"raised in two-parent household that included emotionally abusive, almost criminally negligent, emotionally unbalanced, depressive mother"

 

"seems willing to let her mother be alone with, take care of, any future child we may have"

 

Has the mother been through therapy and recognized the abuse she caused? If not, why would she be willing to let her mother be alone with and "take care" of the child when she knows how her mother treated her?

 

also

 

"future child we may have"

 

"is 38 years old"

 

 

Well, The biological clock is ticking. Do you want to have a child with a 38-year old woman who left one marriage due to "dissatisfaction" and who happens to lean left? have you watched the red pill documentary? or understand how the government handles divorce and children.

 

I dont want to tell you what you should do. But I hope you can recognize the importance of the long-term commitment that comes with having children and how important the family structure is.

 

I wish you well, Good luck

Very cognizant of the biological clock, and it's very worrisome. She doesn't seem to be taking any measures on this, which part of me wishes he would if having a child was important to her, which it doesn't seem to be; never figured hugely into her life plans and it's non-essential for her. The mother has refused therapy, and she self medicates. Her psychological and ethical problems appear to persist o a degree. This is a person I don't want in our lives, nor does my gf...Just not sure to what extent it's possible to exclude her.

And based on all you've said, what do you think?

I think I should leave the relationship, and at least one family member (whose relationship acumen seems solid) agrees. I'm open to more therapy though... Very tough. I have a very hard time saying goodbye.

And based on all you've said, what do you think?

 

I think I should leave the relationship, and at least one family member (whose relationship acumen seems solid) agrees. I'm open to more therapy though... Very tough. I have a very hard time saying goodbye.

Thanks to all for your thoughts! I'll reply to individual questions later, as my initial replies were somehow lost. Operator error or something.

[cab21]

By dating what do you mean as a goal? Do you want a relationship that leads to marriage and children or what are you thinking of when you say "leading to"?