Luisfernandez3rd Posted April 19, 2017 Posted April 19, 2017 I have a friend that needs help and I have no idea how to approach it. I wanted to call Stefan and discuss it but the friend listens to the show and would recognize my voice. THIS WILL BE A LONG STORY! I understand if you don't want to read it all. So I have a Long Time best friend who has been struggling with things for years and hasn't came to me for any help or advice. My friend has lead a life of recovery from drugs and alcohol in the past. When I met him he was past the addictions at the time and just got married shortly after. His marriage, in my opinion, has be the model I want to apply to my life. I've always gone to him for advice when I can't figure things out he even introduced me to FDR. As you can see, I've always held him to such high regards. Today, I get a message from his wife asking me about a former work associate and a situation at our job that ended very suspect to me a long time ago. I never received information regarding that situation so I let it go. I was asked about another co worker that I was suspect about in the past. I recall a situation where I approached my friend because I saw a favortism over this individual that was interfering with me and him indirectly. Out of anger (which may make this harder to help now) I questioned his loyalty to her over me his long time best friend and asked if this favoritism is due to some secret affair with the person in question. This situation resulted in me seeing him genuinely anger. This was rare to see out of him. At the time I wasn't all there mentally and I was very irrational and he never let it get to him until I questioned his loyalty with this person. It struck me as very odd. Even though I was already far in the wrong. The wife approached me basically knowing and hoping I knew nothing. Her and her husband (my friend) have discussed the fact that he's had 3 affairs with 3 different co-workers. 2 of the 3 I was already suspicious about. The 3rd and most recent I haven't even paid attention to. So, now here I am. I've changed completely over these past few years (hopefully all for the better I'd like to think) I've worked on stopping bad habits and attempting to learn more about myself to be the best role model for my 1 year old daughter (kids have that effect sometimes). He's helped me out a lot but never confided in me for help. His wife is hoping I can help since I'm basically his only true friend. She has already decided on him leaving the house. He has informed no one on this not even relatives. Now, I have all this information and no idea how to help. Do I try to help him? If so, how do you start up this conversation? Should I leave it alone and avoid any involvement? Should I let him know how I've found out? 1,000,000 ideas and none of them feel right. Help would be greatly appreciated. Please and thank you for you time.
Russianhaxxer Posted April 24, 2017 Posted April 24, 2017 His wife has a right to know. But it's not your place to tell her. Tell him to tell her himself before she figures it out on her own.
mgggb Posted May 18, 2017 Posted May 18, 2017 On 4/19/2017 at 2:49 PM, Luisfernandez3rd said: His marriage, in my opinion, has be the model I want to apply to my life. This is the most concerning bit in my opinion.
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