Erwin Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 Assuming she is in her early 20s, is there a reason she can't wait for you to get a full time job ? 1
Sir Exotic Posted May 22, 2017 Author Posted May 22, 2017 11 hours ago, Erwin said: Assuming she is in her early 20s, is there a reason she can't wait for you to get a full time job ? She is 24, turning 25 this year, so we want to hurry up if we want to have kids. We want to spend at least a few years together (as in living together) before having our first child. 10 hours ago, neeeel said: pretend she is from syria That was our backup plan
Thesemindz Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 Could you emigrate to the Ukraine? Ultimately, the answer is "get a job." I know that sounds harsh, but eventually that becomes the reality for all of us. Work hard and provide value to others. Are you spending your free time going door to door in a suit handing out resumes and asking to talk to managers? Are you trying to accumulate new skills that can increase your value to potential employers? You can learn almost any skill online for free. What new skills are you aquiring? Life is hard. I can tell you first hand, things won't just go your way. You have to go out and get what you want and you have to provide value to others for them to give you anything in return. If this woman is worth it to you then make it happen. Or she really isn't that important to you after all. Just what you want to be, you will be in the end.
Erwin Posted May 23, 2017 Posted May 23, 2017 1 hour ago, Jos van Weesel said: She is 24, turning 25 this year, so we want to hurry up if we want to have kids. We want to spend at least a few years together (as in living together) before having our first child. So you want to wait to get a job and wait before having kids? The timeline doesn't add up here, does she want kids at 34, 35?
Sir Exotic Posted May 23, 2017 Author Posted May 23, 2017 I did not say that I want to wait to get a job, that is the main priority right now. When she lives here with me we could have kids in a year or 2, maybe 3, so she will be 30 at max, ideally.
Sir Exotic Posted May 23, 2017 Author Posted May 23, 2017 15 hours ago, Thesemindz said: Could you emigrate to the Ukraine? Ultimately, the answer is "get a job." I know that sounds harsh, but eventually that becomes the reality for all of us. Work hard and provide value to others. Are you spending your free time going door to door in a suit handing out resumes and asking to talk to managers? Are you trying to accumulate new skills that can increase your value to potential employers? You can learn almost any skill online for free. What new skills are you aquiring? Life is hard. I can tell you first hand, things won't just go your way. You have to go out and get what you want and you have to provide value to others for them to give you anything in return. If this woman is worth it to you then make it happen. Or she really isn't that important to you after all. Just what you want to be, you will be in the end. I could, which would be easier in the same aspects, but harder because the country has a much, much lower standard of living, plus they are currently in war. I see where you are coming from, but I respectfully want to suggest that you have missed an important part of my message. I have 2 jobs at the moment (and up till a week ago I even had a translation job through a freelance website job on the side that I worked on in my free time). The reason why this requirement exists is because they (the government) want to make sure that she doesn't come to my country and live off welfare. I would be willing to sign a contract with the state that we will never take any government welfare and that we will find a way to support ourselves financially, but of course this is not how a monopoly on law and violence works.. I recently started learning coding online and hoping to be able to find work in it in a year or two. One option we have is for me to live with her for a year or two and spend all my time coding so I can find a job in coding sooner, but our goal is to live in my country as soon as possible, so we can have our family and 'start living together'. That's the kind of advice I was asking for. Thank you anyway, you meant well
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