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I Still Have Zero People Around Me


henderyjem

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It takes time.

Go out and meet new people. Join a club or organization or classes or something. I've been meeting new acquaintances by going to a gaming store and playing tabletop games with people. There are some people there that I genuinely like and am glad to see.

But I've also been journaling/therapying a lot about expectations of friends and relationships in addition to things that might prevent me from connecting with others, such as disdain for normal people, social anxiety, insecurity, etc.

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Go find them.

Join meetups where you share common interests with people. Consider it all to be experimentation and trial and error. The more you interact with people, the more you get to know yourself and stretch your capabilities. 

I'm enjoying time with people in one 12-step group in particular. It's called ACA, or Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families. 

These people aren't philosophers, but the self-work they do is no joke. The concepts of false self and true self are an official part of the program. They do the work to know who they are and who their parents were. 

Just try different things and don't wait for people to come to you. Go to them, be yourself, and see who comes toward you. Reject the ones you don't like and welcome the ones you do. That's it. There are plenty of people in the world to find a few you like spending time with. 

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On 5/28/2017 at 4:07 PM, Drew Davis said:

It takes time.

Go out and meet new people. Join a club or organization or classes or something. I've been meeting new acquaintances by going to a gaming store and playing tabletop games with people. There are some people there that I genuinely like and am glad to see.

But I've also been journaling/therapying a lot about expectations of friends and relationships in addition to things that might prevent me from connecting with others, such as disdain for normal people, social anxiety, insecurity, etc.

I used to go to a gaming store when I was young. I met a lot of people there and it felt pretty natural. I'd play in card game tournaments each weekend. I never really considered the social aspect of it all...  Even though the hobby is entirely about socializing. I met my best friend at that gaming store over 10 years ago and we still hang out and crack cold ones to this day. Drew and the others commenting are giving good advice. Try to find a hobby that interests you and that will make it easier for you to meet friends. Sorta like how you are presumably interested in philosophy so you are here on this forum talking to us. =] 

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