Help! I Hate People!

[Siegfried von Walheim]

I am both a cynic and a misanthrope. I have a problem. I decided to ask for help since I was about to use the text below as a response to a question and quickly realized I need to talk about this before I become a 20 year old with the mentality of a dying 80 year old boomer.

===

Is there no place for men who want to be with a woman of similar or higher quality in the fundamentals, i.e., foresight, intelligence, ability to defer gratification, empathy, patience, etc.? Because whenever I hear or listen to MRA or dating related stuff it always seems to come down to manipulation. The man manipulates the woman for sexuality and motherhood, and the woman manipulates the man for resources and fatherhood ( I mean this both in the sense of becoming parents as well as being each other's pseudo-parent) . 

I want to break that cycle. Because it's a cycle that I lose even if I win. Say I am a man of great means, well does that mean I can marry a woman who is totally into self-knowledge, who is emotionally stable, is a virgin, can actually feel empathy for others, is actually capable of abstract thought beyond manipulating male desires, etc? Or is it just someone who can glamour herself far more impressively than the used up ho the homeless guy would get?

===

I want to point out I'm a guy with no friends. After graduating high school and entering the work force, and now working on getting my first real novel finished and published, I pretty much cut off all contact from everyone I used to know, and something very telling happened; nobody cared. 

No texts, no calls. Nothing. It was like I never existed. 

Of course I changed a lot since I was 18. Now that I'm 19, I'm no longer thinking about suicide on a daily basis thanks to a year of therapy, and instead of bemoaning the slowly dying world we live in I'm actually being a productive member of society with the right to piss on those who aren't. 

The fact that just came out of my mouth alone tells me I got a problem.

And now I want to ask whoever happens to be in the area to help a brother out. 

I have no friends, I have no desire to make friends, I have an increasing disdain and lack of sympathy for people on a daily basis (heck terrorist attacks no longer piss me off or depress me, they're just thunderstorms to be ignored now), and I'm seriously worried about how this will affect me as I become an adult (legally I am but emotionally I'm not. Thanks single mom and educational system.) and even more so as I become a man, and I don't mean someone who fucked a whore with daddy issues. I'm talking someone who does work that makes him proud; someone who built something; someone who owns his own home; someone with a wife and children; someone that actually matters. 

Where is the question in this ventilation heap? Here it is: What the fuck should I do to start liking people and having faith in people? In spite of myself I can't help but admire those courageous individuals of integrity and conviction who actually give a damn about people and create lasting things in this world (like Papa Stef). And so I decided to become someone I'd actually look up to instead of someone who's barely better than the other single-mom brats. 

Having a high IQ doesn't mean shit if the childhood was toxic. But then Stef's existence proves me wrong a thousandfold. How the hell did that magical man come to be? Maybe he's got something that'd help me out? Maybe you have something because you have similar problems or overcame similar problems? I'll hear anything out since I want to change. I don't want to be a democrat. I don't want to be a cynical misanthrope who'd sell out others for a buck. I want to love again. I want to feel. I want to feel what it means to be a man. 

Hopefully something I said will be coherent enough to warrant a response. Because I need some straw to chew on. And I'd greatly appreciate anyone helping this little cow out. Moo... 

[Drew.]

I don't know about you, but I know that there was a period of time where I hated people. Let's just say this came around in my teens. I don't feel that way anymore. I think that I love all people, not necessarily how they act and how they are now, but how they were supposed to be without all of the trauma. It's been a few years since the transition. I wrote it in my journal, and I have yet to reread or transcribe what I had wrote, but I think the turning point for me was when I asked my, Do I really hate people, or do I love them so much that I cannot stand what they do to themselves and others?

It sounds like you have a lot of assumptions and/or conclusions about the world and relationships. If they're not working out, challenge them. If they're just and valid, they can weather some skepticism and examination. If not, you might be able to free yourself by shrugging off these unnecessary burdens.

[Siegfried von Walheim]

36 minutes ago, Drew Davis said:

I don't know about you, but I know that there was a period of time where I hated people. Let's just say this came around in my teens. I don't feel that way anymore. I think that I love all people, not necessarily how they act and how they are now, but how they were supposed to be without all of the trauma. It's been a few years since the transition. I wrote it in my journal, and I have yet to reread or transcribe what I had wrote, but I think the turning point for me was when I asked my,

 

Quote

Do I really hate people, or do I love them so much that I cannot stand what they do to themselves and others?

 

 

Quote

It sounds like you have a lot of assumptions and/or conclusions about the world and relationships. If they're not working out, challenge them. If they're just and valid, they can weather some skepticism and examination. If not, you might be able to free yourself by shrugging off these unnecessary burdens.

I remember the last time you helped me, about a year ago actually .

NOTE: While waiting for pending, I decided to cut a lot out since I was really "digging" while typing. 

Well, I really don't know what to think. I know I hate being a misanthrope though. I'd be lying if I said I didn't care. But the pain is so great that I'd rather not. But the guilt of feeling the temptation to become "evil', i.e. a Machiavellian, also hurts. What is my best solution? 

Should I live only for my future family? Or should I open my heart to others more? Perhaps I'm being too isolationist in mentality? Am I wrong in focusing my live on my work and my future? Should I try something else? Or am I on the right path, but moving forward with the wrong mindset? After the "rule of the jungle" doesn't sit well with me. I wouldn't want to die for degenerates but I wouldn't mind risking my life for good people. And they usually aren't hard to differentiate. 

I just wish I knew how many people are good. Good being defined as NAP compliant, intelligent, empathetic, and familial (in the family building since, not filial piety or the "enslavement of the young" kind).

 

 

 

Edited June 6, 2017 by Siegfried von Walheim

[Siegfried von Walheim]

Actually I typed out a bigger response, but I wonder if it all boils down to me thinking of people as biological robots and not realizing that biology is just the "measure" for the emotions and behaviors that people exhibit in general? 

After all it makes sense for a woman to pursue a wealthy man; him being wealthy is a sign of a good work ethic, and it hints to him being trustworthy with money, a guy with few vices, someone with a stable background, etc. Likewise a man pursing an attractive woman may do so because when a woman is at least "decent" (i.e. she doesn't ignore herself and look like a hambeast or have markings that suggest drug abuse or gang stuff, etc.) then she is signalling she has self-discipline, the ability to defer gratification, and it hints to some level of self-confidence and empathy for her potential spouse.

In other words can't I give moral cases as to why people may pursue a predictable behavioral strategy? Like the man seeking a disciplined and energetic woman, and the woman seeking a hard working and compassionate provider? After all both people have skills suited towards creating and sustaining new life and also in giving joy to each other.

I loved the part when Stef mentioned in a video I watched that a virtuous marriage is like...well, it's amazing. The sex is always great. The couple is more of themselves. Their mutual understanding ensures continued trustworthy companionship. And well...everything that can be conceived. Following the traditional route for marriage appears to be a very fulfilling thing and following the new Peaceful Parenting route for raising children appears to also be rewarding.

I love people who live this way and improve upon themselves to be able to live this way. They inspire me. 

And since I opened up a lot, I'd appreciate knowing how you, Davis, are able to "love" others in spite of themselves? What is so wonderful about people in general that warrants your admiration? Is it their ability to survive even the worst of hardships? Is it their ability to create marvels to stand the test of time? Is it their ability to create new life and learn upon the mistakes of the past? Or is it something else or more?

EDIT: I can't ever come to have neutral feelings towards those who enable danger and doom though. Whether they be man or woman, they are evil because they serve evil and sustain evil. I am referring to those who'd assist invaders or slander heroes. I am being vague because I could really say this about a lot of differing scenarios. How do you reconcile love for the virtuous and contempt for the enablers and the useful idiots? Do you just say "some people I love, some people I hate"? 

I can't really say "I hate people" then, if I only hate some people and love their opposites. 

Edited June 6, 2017 by Siegfried von Walheim

[Siegfried von Walheim]

43 minutes ago, Drew Davis said:

It sounds like you have a lot of assumptions and/or conclusions about the world and relationships. If they're not working out, challenge them. If they're just and valid, they can weather some skepticism and examination. If not, you might be able to free yourself by shrugging off these unnecessary burdens.

I don't think I read this part clearly enough. 

I do make a lot of assumptions. Yet I rarely challenge them. They may be based on evidence but rarely do I try to imagine a counter-scenario for them. I sort of did with the relationship part, but that's just one thing. 

You know if I could +1 you I would. This sentence may be more relevant in undoing the junk in my mentality and perceptions than any long article or book would. Thank you.

[Drew.]

8 minutes ago, Siegfried von Walheim said:

And since I opened up a lot, I'd appreciate knowing how you, Davis, are able to "love" others in spite of themselves? What is so wonderful about people in general that warrants your admiration? Is it their ability to survive even the worst of hardships? Is it their ability to create marvels to stand the test of time? Is it their ability to create new life and learn upon the mistakes of the past? Or is it something else or more?

I don't think I read this part clearly enough. 

I do make a lot of assumptions. Yet I rarely challenge them. They may be based on evidence but rarely do I try to imagine a counter-scenario for them. I sort of did with the relationship part, but that's just one thing. 

You know if I could +1 you I would. This sentence may be more relevant in undoing the junk in my mentality and perceptions than any long article or book would. Thank you.

If you're going to refer to me by a name, I prefer Drew.

Everyone has true self, it might just be buried under dysfunction. I think that it is human nature to love others. It is as natural as breathing or singing along to the radio. Children love wildly and absolutely. So, there is that. The second thing is that, people do awful things to each other and themselves. But, I do not think that they fundamentally chose to do such things. Alcoholics and drug addicts do not choose to be addicts. Sociopaths do not choose to be sociopaths. This is born out of trauma, it is not their choice. For many people, they do not see that there is a way out. Some don't have the capacity to get out. Perhaps they are too weak now there is too much in their life that is keeping them paralyzed in their dysfunction. It was either Maslow or Rodgers who suggested that in every living organism, there is this life drive; there is a desire to grow and improve. The people who are so despicable and miserable are those who are struggling to manifest their life drive.

We all make assumptions, and often there is evidence for such assumptions. But evidence is not proof.

[Siegfried von Walheim]

2 minutes ago, Drew Davis said:

If you're going to refer to me by a name, I prefer Drew.

Will do. At first I thought it was actually "David" something. I don't know why but I remembered you as "David".

 

2 minutes ago, Drew Davis said:

Everyone has true self, it might just be buried under dysfunction. I think that it is human nature to love others. It is as natural as breathing or singing along to the radio. Children love wildly and absolutely. So, there is that. The second thing is that, people do awful things to each other and themselves. But, I do not think that they fundamentally chose to do such things. Alcoholics and drug addicts do not choose to be addicts. Sociopaths do not choose to be sociopaths. This is born out of trauma, it is not their choice. For many people, they do not see that there is a way out. Some don't have the capacity to get out. Perhaps they are too weak now there is too much in their life that is keeping them paralyzed in their dysfunction. It was either Maslow or Rodgers who suggested that in every living organism, there is this life drive; there is a desire to grow and improve. The people who are so despicable and miserable are those who are struggling to manifest their life drive.

We all make assumptions, and often there is evidence for such assumptions. But evidence is not proof.

Very true. For example with the women seeking men of means thing. The "why" is a pretty big factor. If she's just a gold digger, well...

On the other hand if it is because it is indicative of good character in a man, and for children, then that's a good reason. I just made a simple hypothetical to dispel the idea that biological motives are inherently bad.

On the other hand I have to push back on the level of agency you're assigning to bad people. Firstly the alcoholic must have drank alcohol willing at some point, even if we assume a drunk has not ability to control his desire for beer. The sociopath, in the medical sense, is just born with handicap. S/he's not necessarily evil. In fact he could be a good guy, and use his lack of empathy to his advantage by doing the morally difficult things that more sensitive people would crumble under. It's the type of person that could handle the moral dilemma of doing a big evil now to prevent a much bigger evil later. Like hypothetically letting a village burn in order to incite hatred from fellow countrymen, in order to defeat the invaders sooner and thereby decrease the overall amount of deaths. A sociopath can make this conclusion far more quickly than a bleeding-heart idealist, although the latter has his strengths as well. Both can be very good people.

Trauma is a major factor, I'd say no one under 18 really ought to held accountable for any crimes they might commit because it is always the fault of those who raised them. However those 18 year old will become parents one day, and most of them will re-inflict the trauma and become the evil people deserving punishment themselves. A sociopath might say it'd be best to punish both the delinquents and the parents by severing their gene pool entirely. This way the cycle ends with the people involved. 

However there are better ways. If I become a good man, a good father, and a good husband I can break the cycle of abuse in my own family history without anyone needing to die (or be castrated, etc.).

Yet from a political standpoint...well, AnCap would fix that because AnCap is a natural eugenics program. 

One thing I can't say for sure is that all evil people are depressed and "stuck", like I was/am/will be. Some, I think, believe they're just and that they have the right conclusions. These types are especially dangerous, but...I don't know if they're the most evil. Even if they cause more suffering, their good-natured motivation may be a saving grace. Unless it's genocidal like the Holocaust or something.

[Drew.]

15 hours ago, Siegfried von Walheim said:

Will do. At first I thought it was actually "David" something. I don't know why but I remembered you as "David"

On the other hand I have to push back on the level of agency you're assigning to bad people. Firstly the alcoholic must have drank alcohol willing at some point, even if we assume a drunk has not ability to control his desire for beer. The sociopath, in the medical sense, is just born with handicap. S/he's not necessarily evil. In fact he could be a good guy, and use his lack of empathy to his advantage by doing the morally difficult things that more sensitive people would crumble under. It's the type of person that could handle the moral dilemma of doing a big evil now to prevent a much bigger evil later. Like hypothetically letting a village burn in order to incite hatred from fellow countrymen, in order to defeat the invaders sooner and thereby decrease the overall amount of deaths. A sociopath can make this conclusion far more quickly than a bleeding-heart idealist, although the latter has his strengths as well. Both can be very good people.

Trauma is a major factor, I'd say no one under 18 really ought to held accountable for any crimes they might commit because it is always the fault of those who raised them. However those 18 year old will become parents one day, and most of them will re-inflict the trauma and become the evil people deserving punishment themselves. A sociopath might say it'd be best to punish both the delinquents and the parents by severing their gene pool entirely. This way the cycle ends with the people involved.

The David thing has happened a few times to me, usually with non-native English speakers.

Sure, you asked me how I could love others. It sounds as though things are different for you than they are for me.

[meetjoeblack]

TS, I don't think you hate people. I think you just hate stupidity like me. I see a lot of it. I've witnessed it in the school system and the workplace. It makes you want to get the hell away from idiocy but, cash is king and you are forced to be part of the tribe or you starve. Times have changed but, we still are very much so tribal. If you enjoy spending time alone, nobody will stop you. I agree with your analysis of MRAs or MGTOWs. Then again, women need enormous amount of resources, and men want sex. It predates our being hunter gatherers.

As for no friends or texts, its a two way streak. I am very close to friends and family but, it takes a shit ton of work. I value that. I am also very much so single so, when I am out, I approach and talk to lots of people and I date from these experiences or make a new buddy. Why not?

To answer your question: escape self for a change which is very difficult. Give people the same benefit of the doubt that you would want for yourself. Give people and yourself a chance. Personality is very much so individual and its not all that compatible everywhere. You like some people. You dislike others. If you are a extreme introvert, good luck dating. It must be a nightmare unless of course, you won the genetic lottery.

What is your end game? If there is a reason to suddenly connect with people, by all means but, why the sudden change is what I want to know? I was a extreme introvert too. I wanted more friends and I wanted to get a little gf. Sitting alone in my little bubble was safe and secure but, it wasn't making me happy so, I started to make changes. I stopped caring about what to say and I just open my mouth and see what happens. I can mental masturbate all I want but, the sec I start talking, you see how people reciprocate. You see if a woman is actually someone I want to spend time with. I can see if a guy would be a cool bud to workout or party with.

[Siegfried von Walheim]

On 6/6/2017 at 6:50 PM, Drew Davis said:

The David thing has happened a few times to me, usually with non-native English speakers.

Sure, you asked me how I could love others. It sounds as though things are different for you than they are for me.

I am a native English speaker, it's just that "David" is more common than "Davis" and only a letter different visually, therefore in passing it's easy (I imagine) to mistake one for the other.

Not quite sure what you mean "things are different for you than they are for me". 

8 minutes ago, meetjoeblack said:

TS, I don't think you hate people. I think you just hate stupidity like me.

More or less, that's what I've figured out. I don't hate "people", just some people. I hate some people and love other people, and am indifferent about the inbetween.

8 minutes ago, meetjoeblack said:

 

I see a lot of it. I've witnessed it in the school system and the workplace. It makes you want to get the hell away from idiocy but, cash is king and you are forced to be part of the tribe or you starve. Times have changed but, we still are very much so tribal.

I don't know about "forced". Technically speaking there are plenty of jobs were ideals don't matter and human interaction is limited, therefore if I was an extreme recluse I could still make a living so long as I possessed self discipline. My work requires a lot of self-discipline and time management, but is largely in isolation until I get to the selling part of the job, wherein I wouldn't say people skills or mindset is much of an issue since it's mostly business and being able to make a good sales pitch (which is admittedly a social skill, but my field is full of people who have none of this and speak through their agents. I'd rather speak for myself since I make a great salesman for what I sell).

 

8 minutes ago, meetjoeblack said:

If you enjoy spending time alone, nobody will stop you. I agree with your analysis of MRAs or MGTOWs.

Not sure what you think my analysis is, and therefore what you're agreeing with. I understand the risk of dating nowadays, and also understand there are many bad predatory women. However they aren't hard to spot out so long as the pecker keeps calm, and there are many mental tricks to calm him down. At the very least a man can decide not to act or withdraw when he knows he's "intoxicated". 

8 minutes ago, meetjoeblack said:

Then again, women need enormous amount of resources, and men want sex. It predates our being hunter gatherers.

Yep. Although I like smart people since they give the basic desire to reproduce meaning beyond itself. And they tend to be better at it and better and sustaining the "results" of reproduction.

8 minutes ago, meetjoeblack said:

As for no friends or texts, its a two way streak. I am very close to friends and family but, it takes a shit ton of work. I value that. I am also very much so single so, when I am out, I approach and talk to lots of people and I date from these experiences or make a new buddy. Why not?

To answer your question: escape self for a change which is very difficult. Give people the same benefit of the doubt that you would want for yourself. Give people and yourself a chance. Personality is very much so individual and its not all that compatible everywhere. You like some people. You dislike others. If you are a extreme introvert, good luck dating. It must be a nightmare unless of course, you won the genetic lottery.

Not sure what the genetic lottery would be. Looks? I have an attractive face and I keep in shape. Not athletic but I have some decent height and am decently built. I suppose I'd be a 7? I don't know but I figure I'm around there. Intelligence? My IQ is like a ten inch penis, therefore I have nothing to worry about here. However the cost is that most people bore me. 

On the other hand a lot of my old acquaintances were idiots, although the relationships weren't deep they were fun for a while. The more meaningful friendships were with the upper classmen with bright futures, however I used to be a communist and wasn't exactly the most mentally sound of guys then.

 

 

8 minutes ago, meetjoeblack said:

What is your end game? If there is a reason to suddenly connect with people, by all means but, why the sudden change is what I want to know? I was a extreme introvert too. I wanted more friends and I wanted to get a little gf. Sitting alone in my little bubble was safe and secure but, it wasn't making me happy so, I started to make changes. I stopped caring about what to say and I just open my mouth and see what happens. I can mental masturbate all I want but, the sec I start talking, you see how people reciprocate. You see if a woman is actually someone I want to spend time with. I can see if a guy would be a cool bud to workout or party with.

It mainly struck me when I listened to an old podcast "How to meet a nice girl...", and as I was making mental notes I realized I had been focused mostly on my work and not at all on my relations, which worried me since I was afraid that I might not get to where I want to be financially soon enough and that would cost me the best marriage tickets. However I calmed down after listening to the "Truth About Sex" since apparently I'm likely to do very well since I'm a good boy virgin, albeit one with a face that apparently implies otherwise (according to my old acquaintances. I remember having a crush and asking a friend for dating advice. He was surprised that I was asking since he thought I was a player or something). 

I also feared my lack of personal social experience might affect the quality of my work, and also my mental health. I don't want to spend time getting to know people in the short term since I'm racing against the clock to make my big project happen, however afterwards when I'm finally where I want to be I intend on meeting like-minded brothers and sniffing out for my future wife. I emphasize the word "wife" since I have no interest in any relationship with a woman that isn't either an intellectual friendship (basically the same I'd have with men) or one oriented towards marriage (which would be the same I'd have with men, but with regular sex and the other things associated with lifelong commitment).

It may limit my options but when I do intend to go on a wife hunt, I intend to hold her to all the same standards I'd hold a man too since I remember Stef always saying "imagine if I'd put up with her if she were an elderly Asian gentleman". And since all of my high school crushes were really just big boners honing in on dangerous women, I realize how important that message is. And then there's also the paying attention to detail so that I can decide in like a minute whether a relationship is worth pursuing. Although I'd use the same method with men as well, since I don't want degenerates or deadbeats. 

Of course I'm a guy with virtually no experience, so all that said... I don't know. I know I plan on getting married one day, ideally around 25, and having many children, but can't say how it'll happen. For now I figure I'll focus on becoming the man I'd want to marry if I was a woman before looking the future wife. After all I wouldn't be interested in guys without at least his own house under his own name, or a stable business. 

 

 

 

[S1988]

10 hours ago, meetjoeblack said:

 I was a extreme introvert too. I wanted more friends and I wanted to get a little gf. Sitting alone in my little bubble was safe and secure but, it wasn't making me happy so, I started to make changes.

Just a minor correction. If you're alone a lot and not happy about it, then you're not an introvert. Introverts are energized by spending lots of time by themselves and couldn't care less about having lots of friends. I should know because I'm one myself. Being around people a lot drains me, and I enjoy having lots of time to myself. You were probably extroverted all along because extroverts are drained by being alone a lot and are energized when around others.

[S1988]

10 hours ago, Siegfried von Walheim said:

Technically speaking there are plenty of jobs were ideals don't matter and human interaction is limited, therefore if I was an extreme recluse I could still make a living so long as I possessed self discipline.

There are plenty of them? Really? In my experience, a lot of jobs require one to a people person. I assume it's easier if you live in a big city, which is where I don't live. Sorry for going a bit on a tangent, but as someone who likes being alone a lot, this statement intrigues me. 

[Siegfried von Walheim]

11 minutes ago, S1988 said:

There are plenty of them? Really? In my experience, a lot of jobs require one to a people person. I assume it's easier if you live in a big city, which is where I don't live. Sorry for going a bit on a tangent, but as someone who likes being alone a lot, this statement intrigues me. 

Off the top of my head; authoring and freelance writing are both jobs that require little human interaction except for when looking for a publisher to sell to.

My job as a novelist is one largely spent in isolation. Unlike most jobs I have to regulate my own hours otherwise I won't have any product to sell or that product will take far longer than in should to sell. I'd argue at least 30 hours a week should be spent in front of the computer in such a job.

[meetjoeblack]

12 hours ago, Siegfried von Walheim said:

Quote

More or less, that's what I've figured out. I don't hate "people", just some people. I hate some people and love other people, and am indifferent about the inbetween.

There is nothing wrong with that. I already do something similar in the workplace whereby, I am friendly yet at a distance. I am there to get paid to do a job and go home. Nothing more.

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I don't know about "forced". Technically speaking there are plenty of jobs were ideals don't matter and human interaction is limited, therefore if I was an extreme recluse I could still make a living so long as I possessed self discipline. My work requires a lot of self-discipline and time management, but is largely in isolation until I get to the selling part of the job, wherein I wouldn't say people skills or mindset is much of an issue since it's mostly business and being able to make a good sales pitch (which is admittedly a social skill, but my field is full of people who have none of this and speak through their agents. I'd rather speak for myself since I make a great salesman for what I sell).

Interesting. Most sales people I know are usually really social. I suppose there are the exceptions.

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Not sure what you think my analysis is, and therefore what you're agreeing with. I understand the risk of dating nowadays, and also understand there are many bad predatory women. However they aren't hard to spot out so long as the pecker keeps calm, and there are many mental tricks to calm him down. At the very least a man can decide not to act or withdraw when he knows he's "intoxicated". 

Just meant, I think you are informed with MRAs and MGTOWs. I am grateful for Molyneux's content. Prior to, I was a lot more beta, and sympathetic of the "poor single mom." His content drew my attention to self ownership and away from victimhood which seems to a get out of jail free card women use. Also, bringing my attention to SMV (sexual market value) and in doing so, I always question a woman's motives. If she is outside that point in life, I am simply just not interested, and view a woman as a predator otherwise.

 

Quote

 

Yep. Although I like smart people since they give the basic desire to reproduce meaning beyond itself. And they tend to be better at it and better and sustaining the "results" of reproduction.

Not sure what the genetic lottery would be. Looks? I have an attractive face and I keep in shape. Not athletic but I have some decent height and am decently built. I suppose I'd be a 7? I don't know but I figure I'm around there. Intelligence? My IQ is like a ten inch penis, therefore I have nothing to worry about here. However the cost is that most people bore me. 

On the other hand a lot of my old acquaintances were idiots, although the relationships weren't deep they were fun for a while. The more meaningful friendships were with the upper classmen with bright futures, however I used to be a communist and wasn't exactly the most mentally sound of guys then.

 

With social media, there is so many ways to reach out to people, and reconnect. "I've had a crush on you for years" is a favorite line I like to use with women from my past when reconnecting. #$

 

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It mainly struck me when I listened to an old podcast "How to meet a nice girl...", and as I was making mental notes I realized I had been focused mostly on my work and not at all on my relations, which worried me since I was afraid that I might not get to where I want to be financially soon enough and that would cost me the best marriage tickets. However I calmed down after listening to the "Truth About Sex" since apparently I'm likely to do very well since I'm a good boy virgin, albeit one with a face that apparently implies otherwise (according to my old acquaintances. I remember having a crush and asking a friend for dating advice. He was surprised that I was asking since he thought I was a player or something). 

Interesting. Well, good luck mate. I don't know any women waiting these days. I suppose there are some somewhere. Many are just trashing their SMV. Fallback is beta male provider. Before Stefan, I would have fell in that category. Since learning about pickup, since dating more, and exploring self knowledge, I would rather my genes are weeded out of existence then being a utility to extract resources. With that said, I will settle down with a woman likely much younger in SMV or not at all.

 

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I also feared my lack of personal social experience might affect the quality of my work, and also my mental health. I don't want to spend time getting to know people in the short term since I'm racing against the clock to make my big project happen, however afterwards when I'm finally where I want to be I intend on meeting like-minded brothers and sniffing out for my future wife. I emphasize the word "wife" since I have no interest in any relationship with a woman that isn't either an intellectual friendship (basically the same I'd have with men) or one oriented towards marriage (which would be the same I'd have with men, but with regular sex and the other things associated with lifelong commitment).

I feel the same way about "racing against the clock." Sadly, I think I am older then you so, I really feel behind the eight ball.

 

12 hours ago, Siegfried von Walheim said:

 

It may limit my options but when I do intend to go on a wife hunt, I intend to hold her to all the same standards I'd hold a man too since I remember Stef always saying "imagine if I'd put up with her if she were an elderly Asian gentleman". And since all of my high school crushes were really just big boners honing in on dangerous women, I realize how important that message is. And then there's also the paying attention to detail so that I can decide in like a minute whether a relationship is worth pursuing. Although I'd use the same method with men as well, since I don't want degenerates or deadbeats. 

Of course I'm a guy with virtually no experience, so all that said... I don't know. I know I plan on getting married one day, ideally around 25, and having many children, but can't say how it'll happen. For now I figure I'll focus on becoming the man I'd want to marry if I was a woman before looking the future wife. After all I wouldn't be interested in guys without at least his own house under his own name, or a stable business. 

As I suspected, you are much much younger. You got time man. I wouldn't worry about it. I think youth is the key. You can red pill her. You can actually educate her and see the errors of the way. The highlight reel promo for single moms and being a slut. Don't judge her. Demonize men. This seems to be a common theme as is male disposability. Its ideal you learn from Stefan and other free thinkers. Use critical thinking and think for yourself. No matter who, I think there is always a element of personal self interest so, I never follow blindly.

Stefan and I disagree on the topic of pickup lol I know he presumes it to be dishonest and whatnot. I on the other hand don't see an alternative to having selection and choice. Waiting for government to fail and women needing men again is not a solution nor an argument.

[meetjoeblack]

3 hours ago, S1988 said:

Just a minor correction. If you're alone a lot and not happy about it, then you're not an introvert. Introverts are energized by spending lots of time by themselves and couldn't care less about having lots of friends. I should know because I'm one myself. Being around people a lot drains me, and I enjoy having lots of time to myself. You were probably extroverted all along because extroverts are drained by being alone a lot and are energized when around others.

I spent most of my life single. I never had a gf. I was liked by girls. It always seemed like fate. I gave a similar perspective of a favorite character I had as a boy. He trained to be the strongest warrior ever but, due to the powers to be, the creators, and a strong dislike for him therefore, he was always the GOAT Silver medalist. Runner up. A strong #2. If he somehow managed to be #1, it was always short lived and he would be sent to the back of the line in no time.

This was a all too strange and familiar feeling for me. I still take walks alone or I go from a run. I like to exercise now more then ever. I appreciate being alone but, I also escape self and reconnect with others. In doing so, my social circle expanded and so did my dating experiences.

[S1988]

9 minutes ago, meetjoeblack said:

This was a all too strange and familiar feeling for me. I still take walks alone or I go from a run. I like to exercise now more then ever. I appreciate being alone but, I also escape self and reconnect with others. In doing so, my social circle expanded and so did my dating experiences.

Then it sounds like you're an ambivert, a less common word that means possessing extroverted and introverted qualities. The word is so rare that even I forget about it sometimes.

[meetjoeblack]

1 hour ago, S1988 said:

Then it sounds like you're an ambivert, a less common word that means possessing extroverted and introverted qualities. The word is so rare that even I forget about it sometimes.

Very much so. I know Stefan has hated on it but, I learned about pickup and hypergamy. I've explored self knowledge and made changes by throwing myself into the fire. In doing so, I dated more, I made more friends, and my life changed for the better. Its still a work in progress. I just know I cannot do it myself so, even as a entrepreneur/ceo you need to outsource or job share. You need to reach out.