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My girlfriend is a feminist


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Hi guys!

So, as the title says, my girlfrienf is a feminist and I don't know if I should keep dating her. I don't care much about it 'cause nobody is perfect and she has other qualities, but lately she has been asking for my opinion on some political issues, that she knows I won't agree with her, and then starting a fight about it, wich makes me angry.

I mean, I don't care that she has different political opinions, but she clearly states that she hates it in me and search for ways to fight it until I can give up and agree with her. But it never happens lol, so our fights lasts long hours until she gives up and cotinues like nothing has happened.

To give you some backgrounds, her mother is a single mother because her father died when she was young. They were always poor. I come for a stable family where almost everybody stays married.

 

I know that Stephan answered a call with similar content that someone asked if he should keep his feminist girlfriend. Do you guys could help me find it? Also, does anyone can help me if I should stay in that relationship or not?

 

Thank you very much, and sorry for my bad english, it isn't my first language (I'm from Brazil :) ).

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Political beliefs are not trivial; they represent most of everything that matters in people. What you describe is a vampire debating whether or not to feast on your blood. 

Here is a guy who is engaged to an SJW that hates everything that he is: Podcast 3650: Help! I'm Dating a Social Justice Warrior! Question two, about 30 minutes in.

 

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On 6/21/2017 at 7:56 PM, Druid said:

but lately she has been asking for my opinion on some political issues, that she knows I won't agree with her, and then starting a fight about it, wich makes me angry.

I mean, I don't care that she has different political opinions, but she clearly states that she hates it in me and search for ways to fight it until I can give up and agree with her. But it never happens lol, so our fights lasts long hours until she gives up and cotinues like nothing has happened.

So, she's looking for a fight, and it seems like she is trying to dominate you.

Personally, I wouldn't stay.

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2 hours ago, Wuzzums said:

Why are you asking internet people what you should do with your life and whom you should date?

 

What should he do instead?

If you are confused about something and unable to come up with conclusions and answer for yourself, why is Internet people not a good place to go to?

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3 hours ago, Ferssitar said:

 

What should he do instead?

If you are confused about something and unable to come up with conclusions and answer for yourself, why is Internet people not a good place to go to?

Because you can't give advice on some relationship which you have very little information on, don't know the people involved, nor have had any similar experiences.

This is his first post meaning he wants advice from complete strangers which makes him a fool, or he's looking for approval for the decision he already made which makes it pointless, or he's trolling.

It's one thing to ask someone who has proven themselves for advice such as Stefan, it's another thing to ask some random people who might in turn be trolling.

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36 minutes ago, Wuzzums said:

Because you can't give advice on some relationship which you have very little information on, don't know the people involved, nor have had any similar experiences.

This is his first post meaning he wants advice from complete strangers which makes him a fool, or he's looking for approval for the decision he already made which makes it pointless, or he's trolling.

It's one thing to ask someone who has proven themselves for advice such as Stefan, it's another thing to ask some random people who might in turn be trolling.

Good point, I never thought about it like that.

However doesn't the Self-Knowledge section exist for the specific purpose of individuals turning to the internet (specifically FDR) for support, and isn't there an element of trustworthiness attached to FDR regulars that isn't there elsewhere?

Now I'm wondering, if it is idiotic to trust the word of complete strangers (*mind you, blind trust is idiotic but green guys on FDR have established themselves by the community as being reliable and generally trustworthy, though they're still strangers) than what is the purpose of the "Self Help" sections of this forum?

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33 minutes ago, Siegfried von Walheim said:

Good point, I never thought about it like that.

However doesn't the Self-Knowledge section exist for the specific purpose of individuals turning to the internet (specifically FDR) for support, and isn't there an element of trustworthiness attached to FDR regulars that isn't there elsewhere?

Now I'm wondering, if it is idiotic to trust the word of complete strangers (*mind you, blind trust is idiotic but green guys on FDR have established themselves by the community as being reliable and generally trustworthy, though they're still strangers) than what is the purpose of the "Self Help" sections of this forum?

If OP is gonna consider any advice at all it should be from someone that is or was in a similar situation. You wouldn't ask a deli guy whether or not you should go to lawschool now would you?

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3 hours ago, Wuzzums said:

Because you can't give advice on some relationship which you have very little information on, don't know the people involved, nor have had any similar experiences.

This is his first post meaning he wants advice from complete strangers which makes him a fool, or he's looking for approval for the decision he already made which makes it pointless, or he's trolling.

It's one thing to ask someone who has proven themselves for advice such as Stefan, it's another thing to ask some random people who might in turn be trolling.

Thanks for the input, could you also address the first question as well? "What should he do instead?"

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2 hours ago, Wuzzums said:

If OP is gonna consider any advice at all it should be from someone that is or was in a similar situation. You wouldn't ask a deli guy whether or not you should go to lawschool now would you?

Generally speaking, you're right. However FDR is the most likely place to find people in a situation similar to the one he described, therefore making it a good idea to share here and ask for advice.

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3 hours ago, Siegfried von Walheim said:

Good point, I never thought about it like that.

However doesn't the Self-Knowledge section exist for the specific purpose of individuals turning to the internet (specifically FDR) for support, and isn't there an element of trustworthiness attached to FDR regulars that isn't there elsewhere?

Now I'm wondering, if it is idiotic to trust the word of complete strangers (*mind you, blind trust is idiotic but green guys on FDR have established themselves by the community as being reliable and generally trustworthy, though they're still strangers) than what is the purpose of the "Self Help" sections of this forum?

  Whether listening to Stef, this forum, a self-help writer, or whomever, you should weigh the strength of their argument above all else.  Of course their credibility/expertise or lack thereof, is important, but above all the facts and reasoning behind the argument are what matter.

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13 minutes ago, RoseCodex said:

  Whether listening to Stef, this forum, a self-help writer, or whomever, you should weigh the strength of their argument above all else.  Of course their credibility/expertise or lack thereof, is important, but above all the facts and reasoning behind the argument are what matter.

Yeah, that makes sense and is my position. My main point of confusion was criticizing the OP for posting here, since in terms of fishing for good support, I'd say here would be one of the first places I'd go to beyond those close to me, given the people here (or at least the people who give advice) generally make good arguments and are worth listening to.

Heck the reason why I'm asking this is because @Wuzzums broached the idea that it's idiotic to post such a thing to strangers on the internet, and since he has a certain level of...trust? Basically if he says something I'm inclined to listen, not blindly but definitely with open ears.

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9 hours ago, Ferssitar said:

Thanks for the input, could you also address the first question as well? "What should he do instead?"

I don't know. 

If I were him I would try to find someone in a similar position and ask them. Though to be fair he did also ask for a podcast with a similar topic (which I couldn't find) so maybe his approach wasn't as foolheartedly as I initially thought.

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If my girlfriend started a fight about feminism I would either just laugh at her and keep watching TV. If she was literally screaming in my face or something I would either pick her up and put her over my knee and spank her or I would leave and not come back until she contacted me and apologized. Never play into female hysteria. Ever.

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Studies show women believe whatever the strong man in their life believes... father, husband, mentor, etc. Just be the strong man in her life and tell her she is wrong. Most of these feminists only have weak beta males in their life so their hysteria gets free reign. My girlfriend is a feminist, yet she believes her place is naked and pregnant in my kitchen (or bed). Doesn't matter to me how she justifies it to herself. Now if only the other feminists would learn!

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On 2017-06-21 at 10:56 PM, Druid said:

Hi guys!

So, as the title says, my girlfrienf is a feminist and I don't know if I should keep dating her. I don't care much about it 'cause nobody is perfect and she has other qualities, but lately she has been asking for my opinion on some political issues, that she knows I won't agree with her, and then starting a fight about it, wich makes me angry.

I mean, I don't care that she has different political opinions, but she clearly states that she hates it in me and search for ways to fight it until I can give up and agree with her. But it never happens lol, so our fights lasts long hours until she gives up and cotinues like nothing has happened.

To give you some backgrounds, her mother is a single mother because her father died when she was young. They were always poor. I come for a stable family where almost everybody stays married.

 

I know that Stephan answered a call with similar content that someone asked if he should keep his feminist girlfriend. Do you guys could help me find it? Also, does anyone can help me if I should stay in that relationship or not?

 

Thank you very much, and sorry for my bad english, it isn't my first language (I'm from Brazil :) ).

If you could never have sex with her again, would you put up with her behavior?  Is your intention in relationships to find a life partner for marriage and children?  If so, could you put up with this behavior for the next 50+ years and see it inflicted on your children?

Have you confronted her about how she is starting fights and discussed this in depth (perhaps a more fruitful conversation than the hours-long fight)?  Including....have you told her that this makes you angry?  Does she openly consider it worthwhile to anger you in order to have useless and time-consuming fights with you?

How does she present her case?  Does she make valid arguments with valid statistics and such?  Does she present feelings as arguments?  Do you come with reason and evidence or get emotional yourself?  Have you discussed the methods of arguing that you each bring to the fights?

 

I have to wonder if she is shit-testing you in a way.  The fights don't provide her any benefit because she doesn't win and convince you.  Is she perhaps pushing you to stand up to her and assert yourself?

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23 hours ago, smarterthanone said:

If my girlfriend started a fight about feminism I would either just laugh at her and keep watching TV. If she was literally screaming in my face or something I would either pick her up and put her over my knee and spank her or I would leave and not come back until she contacted me and apologized. Never play into female hysteria. Ever.

Of course never play into female hysteria. 

What fucktard downvoted this?

But never hit her! Because then she has leverage against you.

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2 hours ago, Meister said:

Of course never play into female hysteria. 

What fucktard downvoted this?

But never hit her! Because then she has leverage against you.

He probably got downvoted because of how blind he is to the situation.

He urges us not to play into female hysteria while at the same time he also is an enabler of female hysteria. 

On 6/24/2017 at 1:11 PM, smarterthanone said:

If my girlfriend started a fight about feminism I would either just laugh at her and keep watching TV. If she was literally screaming in my face or something I would either pick her up and put her over my knee and spank her or I would leave and not come back until she contacted me and apologized.

Why do you think women got to a point where they behave like that? It is because regardless of how crazy/childish/hysterical/etc...they were they still had guys lining up wanting to be their boyfriends. Given this, what incentive would they have to change their behavior? None.

Therefore, the solution is not to "put them on the knee and spank them". The solution is to never get involved with someone like that in the first place.

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3 hours ago, Meister said:

Of course never play into female hysteria. 

What fucktard downvoted this?

But never hit her! Because then she has leverage against you.

Thank you for recognizing! Regarding spanking her, get her permission. See more below.

 

29 minutes ago, Ferssitar said:

He probably got downvoted because of how blind he is to the situation.

He urges us not to play into female hysteria while at the same time he also is an enabler of female hysteria. 

Why do you think women got to a point where they behave like that? It is because regardless of how crazy/childish/hysterical/etc...they were they still had guys lining up wanting to be their boyfriends. Given this, what incentive would they have to change their behavior? None.

Therefore, the solution is not to "put them on the knee and spank them". The solution is to never get involved with someone like that in the first place.

Their incentive to change their behavior is you. If you are a high SMV male, women will do literally anything to stay in your favor... including giving you permission to spank them and giving up feminism... and they will readily thank you afterwards for turning them into the 1950s style conservative house wife of your dreams.

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2 hours ago, smarterthanone said:

Their incentive to change their behavior is you. If you are a high SMV male, women will do literally anything to stay in your favor... including giving you permission to spank them and giving up feminism... and they will readily thank you afterwards for turning them into the 1950s style conservative house wife of your dreams.

1

People who are broken remain broken. (unless they directly act on resolving themselves).

Even if you get them to adopt a new perspective and discard feminism I do not believe this would fundamentally transform anything about them. Their dysfunction still remains and will show up in other areas. Submitting to some beliefs is not the same as arriving at those beliefs through reason. 

 

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16 hours ago, smarterthanone said:

Thank you for recognizing! Regarding spanking her, get her permission. See more below.

 

Their incentive to change their behavior is you. If you are a high SMV male, women will do literally anything to stay in your favor... including giving you permission to spank them and giving up feminism... and they will readily thank you afterwards for turning them into the 1950s style conservative house wife of your dreams.

Getting permission to spank her is not gonna hold up in a court of law.

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On 6/21/2017 at 9:56 PM, Druid said:

Hi guys!

So, as the title says, my girlfrienf is a feminist and I don't know if I should keep dating her. I don't care much about it 'cause nobody is perfect and she has other qualities, but lately she has been asking for my opinion on some political issues, that she knows I won't agree with her, and then starting a fight about it, wich makes me angry.

I mean, I don't care that she has different political opinions, but she clearly states that she hates it in me and search for ways to fight it until I can give up and agree with her. But it never happens lol, so our fights lasts long hours until she gives up and cotinues like nothing has happened.

To give you some backgrounds, her mother is a single mother because her father died when she was young. They were always poor. I come for a stable family where almost everybody stays married.

 

I know that Stephan answered a call with similar content that someone asked if he should keep his feminist girlfriend. Do you guys could help me find it? Also, does anyone can help me if I should stay in that relationship or not?

 

Thank you very much, and sorry for my bad english, it isn't my first language (I'm from Brazil :) ).

I like people but, I cannot handle dealing with feminists or their hypocrisy. There is a predisposition to victichood. No accountability or sense of responsibility.

 

Let me tell you a story. I know a guy. He banged this feminist. This feminist had a LTR bf. She would demonize men yet, cheating of course is okay and lets not forget her history of crazy. Her friend was a slob, a feminist too, both quick to demonize men. The slob would get naked when drunk and try to sleep with her friend's boyfriend. This is the sort of madness of feminism.

 

Look at the shit feminists were writing on father's day. Was there post's on mother's days about all the women who destroy their family unit? Took the father to the cleaners? Made up lies about abuse. Its gross.

 

There are so many women in the world. You can do better then a feminist. If I would be red pilling the shit out of a woman, why would I date a hypocrite? Someone crazy and prone to divorce, and victimhood?

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  • 3 weeks later...

Working with a therapist who is skilled with setting personal boundaries and teaching you to do the same (Drew Davis who commented before me would actually qualify or can put you in touch with someone who is if he can't squeeze you into his schedule) will enable you to answer these questions for yourself.  It's very clear you do not have this ability (please don't take offense, I'm still developing it), and therefore, your romantic relationships will almost definitely harm more than help you.  I would avoid romantic relationships until you've developed this skill.  If you work hard it will come sooner than you think.

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