Let's talk dating!

[robert1986]

I profess that I am having difficulty finding potential dates without any Craydar going off. 

What are my standards? 

- Integrity, Honesty,Empathy, values two parent households, non religious, non spanking , doesn't use make up to attract men, self knowledge. 

These attributes not too many people have. You would think Barnes and Noble would be a good place but I tried to tell s young woman that kids are better than a career at 21 due to the fertility window . And she kind of freaked out on me. 

In a store surrounded by books no less. 

What are some things I can do to help improve my chances? 

Is it only my location? 

How does location help or hinder me?

I'm only 31 but it's difficult finding all the attributes I want. 

I want women to value my mind , ethics and personality over looks. 

Many women describe me physically as "cute". Not sure what that means. Am I a temporary play toy? 

What else can help me find a decent woman? 

I've looked at social clubs but most are FOE or the Eagles ( friendly society). Mostly men there. 

Where would you look?

[aviet]

I find that women who may claim to have an independent, thinking mind tend to be latent leftists - that is they have swallowed most of the ideas of the left, typically without hearing the ideas specifically formed as arguements and having heard virtually no counter-material. And as such it seems to be rare to find the mix of family values in an atheist package.

One thing that will improve your chances is moving to a different country. Despite having a good mix of all society suggested women want, I had slim pickings in Northern Europe. I've recently moved to Asia and here all you have to do is turn up. I've written at length on the disparity between sexual market value (SMV) of Western European males elsewhere, but my thoughts can be condensed as:

If women have an abundance of resources (or rather think they do), they will do what most animals and people do when they find themselves in favourable circumstances - gorge, indulge, seek luxury. In such circumstances, few women think for the long-term - they want instant pleasure and are not too fussed about long-term stability. When you venture out into poorer countries, few women have the luxury to expend their youth drinking and having sex, racking up debt and wasting whatever they can save on holidays. They have to be careful about who they select as their mate, as to choose poorly can ruin their life. They also have the wreckage of women who made poor decisions all around them, as they don't have welfare states to pick up the pieces.

However, the women are only behaving in these ways due to their environment. You can't know how they may change if their environment changes. If you are in the West, my suggestion is to look for women who could indulge and make poor decisions due to apparent abundance, but don't because of thinking, which they will hopefully and more likely have developed individually or at least tested. As some people may profess certain beliefs, but their only reasoning is something like "because it's in the Bible". That would be my checklist. If they don't have other components you desire, you can probably instill them with that base.

If you want to be around a lot of women who are looking for someone based more on your character and have family values, research Asia, Russia and South America. But if you want that in the athi-libertarian package, online is likely the only hope.

[robert1986]

Moving to a country is not an option. Visiting one and bringing someone back MAY be an option. Not sure how that works out. 

Since I'm in America I have a selection of regions but some states are a no no. 

My only options for states are: NH, VT,ME, MT( where I am), WY or Idaho. Based on demographics, weather, employment, jobs, taxes and population. 

 

[aviet]

Consider yourself lucky that you have such a collection of states where you will find a much wider selection of women than here in Europe. For me states like WY, SD, ND, TX are the holy grail of maybe finding someone who is at least somewhat individualist, libertarian, or conservative. Pretty much all I've ever come across is women who have no direction, don't know what they're looking for, have no plans and no real morals. If they have any ideas they are always latently left and never been challenged.

[robert1986]

I'm limited by the states . Some I won't live in. Wy, VT, , Idaho,NH, another city in MT, or ME. But Texas is a no go for Eminent domain use like crazy and I hate Texas for it's lefties in Dallas of major cities, and the weather I'm not a fan of. 

Come on guys, if you know a good single woman why not suggest a few people to others. Women suggest men to other women. We can do the same.

[Gavitor]

It seems that these days its easier to train a woman then to find one that already meets your standards.

[Jot]

20 hours ago, Gavitor said:

It seems that these days its easier to train a woman then to find one that already meets your standards.

Not sure how many failed attempts on average it takes for you to do that. Women changing because of and for men with the purpose of elevating themselves morally and intellectually is something I have not even seen in even in movies. I am sure it does happen, but I am sure it is really rare. 

[robert1986]

It is rare. That's what I'm looking for. Now where do I go? Which direction?

All I need is a direction and things to look for. I'm looking for women who actually are capable of changing based on facts. Capable. 

But I need to know where to start at. 

[Jot]

1 hour ago, robert1986 said:

It is rare. That's what I'm looking for. Now where do I go? Which direction?

All I need is a direction and things to look for. I'm looking for women who actually are capable of changing based on facts. Capable. 

But I need to know where to start at. 

I would start by listening to the relevant podcasts Stefan has done on the topic. He has a couple of interesting ideas. 

The most popular on this topic I believe is "How to find a nice girl" you can type that into youtube. 

I generally believe that you are more likely to find virtuous women at social events or gatherings that focus on things which are value based rather than online or bars and clubs. 

[ofd]

The chances that intelligent alien life is found in the next 10 years is higher than OP finding a waifu. Women adapt to the mainstream culture around them and since most attributes you posted are held by a minority your chances are slim.

[robert1986]

I'm looking for peeple able to learn. They can be whoever they are bit can thry learn new things and change? 

I know I won't find a Mary Sue but if there is someone who has the capacity to be self critical, uses facts, negotiates. 

The capacity is what I want. 

And sure some may say " we all have the capacity to change". 

Example: I'd rather date a psychologist over a teacher.

Why? Because she demonstrates the capacity to listen, help others, analytical , etc

What jobs would she be in? 

I'd say psychology, nurse, emt some job they requires listening, empathy and logic. 

And that person doesn't have to meet my criteria exactly so long as they have the ability to learn

[smarterthanone]

You can train a woman but you have to start with wet clay and not something already out of the kiln.

Things to look for:

Younger

Moderate self image/esteem (Ignore the "I deserve it all" women unless you know your game and can knock them down a peg hard and fast)

Feminine

 

Then you follow these basic steps:

1. Immediately throw out you are "more conservative" (don't push political) and give an example like "I think a strong man needs to be head of the household."

2. If she sticks around, then take the lead, prove you can be the leader. Decide where to go. Grab her hand at a bar or club if you go out so she knows you are close and lead her where to go. Little things that show you can make decisions. When she says I am going to order the xyz salad. When the waitress comes over order the xyz salad for her. Be a damn man!

3. Never act desperate ever. Everyone makes mistakes, especially young women. If she messes up, don't ever say its OK. You need to hold her to standards just like a man. She blows you off, tell her you are losing interest because she comes off as rude. She flirts with someone else past a reasonable level and tell her that is not acceptable. DO NOT ARGUE. Just state a fact. ie I felt you were being inappropriate and I will not tolerate that. If she starts whining and moaning and does not accept your lead on the issue, just walk away. This is where you show your power and expose her weakness. I had a girl blow me off recently because she was out partying late and missed our early morning hiking plans. I just said, I am not going to tolerate this my time is valuable and you are rude. What she is used to is men saying oh sorry its ok because they just want to dive into her bed.

4. Sexualize motherhood. When you get it on, tell her how you want to make her pregnant. When they feel like they can still be a sexy young woman even when they have children, they will be more open to it. A big hesitation for them is ruining their body and cleaning boogers and puke and sex going out the window. Tell them that isn't true and mean it. Tell them how turned on you will be by them being a mother.

5. On the opposite side, tell them how irrelevant a career is. Personally I make a lot of money so I just say "I don't date women who work outside the home, period." If I hear one peep about college or work or something out a woman's face I am over her in 2 seconds. They learn quick.

 

The girl I am talking to now I told her I expect a woman to be basically pregnant non stop, like 10 kids type scenario and she was just all like melty and hearts for eyes. She responded saying "I only wear two kinds of shoes. Heels and barefoot." And she was serious. You don't know, many women know what they want but no men proposition them like this so they just keep going down the rabbit hole of college -> career -> cats/settling for some chump.

 

Regarding the makeup preferences and stuff, you are being way to picky. For every new aspect you miss out on higher quality women. Like you want a woman who doesnt wear lots of makeup... but wouldn't a woman who wears makeup but say has a 140 IQ be a more attractive partner? Try to just pick like 3 things at most and then judge a woman on the whole package. I mean I prefer brilliant green eyes but I certainly would not include that on my requirements or I would never find a good woman and when I did it would be settling because statistically I will have a pool of one so I can't select the one with the best IQ or the sexiest body, or shares the interests or values I prefer to a higher degree. Hope that makes sense. And if you really are looking for the woman who meets all your criteria exactly you better be like private jet flying, 6'3" GQ cover Einstein. LOL

[Jsbrads]

Women do become less Leftist after they marry, but I am not willing to waste a couple years of my life to try it out with any random woman. 

[meetjoeblack]

On 9/25/2017 at 2:44 PM, robert1986 said:

I profess that I am having difficulty finding potential dates without any Craydar going off. 

What are my standards? 

- Integrity, Honesty,Empathy, values two parent households, non religious, non spanking , doesn't use make up to attract men, self knowledge. 

These attributes not too many people have. You would think Barnes and Noble would be a good place but I tried to tell s young woman that kids are better than a career at 21 due to the fertility window . And she kind of freaked out on me. 

In a store surrounded by books no less. 

What are some things I can do to help improve my chances? 

Is it only my location? 

How does location help or hinder me?

I'm only 31 but it's difficult finding all the attributes I want. 

I want women to value my mind , ethics and personality over looks. 

Many women describe me physically as "cute". Not sure what that means. Am I a temporary play toy? 

What else can help me find a decent woman? 

I've looked at social clubs but most are FOE or the Eagles ( friendly society). Mostly men there. 

Where would you look?

This is classic female logic. Location is only relevant because of the west. We're in the same boat. My question is, what are you doing about it?

Every podcast by Stefan with respect to gene warfare/truth on sex/Single moms/pua etc I have watched. I know marriage is the way especially for children. I listen to Jordan Peterson as well and he talks about the tragedy of not having children. The west and society promotes career, college debt and bubble, feminism, 'sloot gonna sloot.' daddy government, and of course, marriage as plan B when shit goes south.

While I have learned a lot from Stefan, he doesn't provide a solution here, and instead he points the problem. The closest he comes to providing a solution is suggesting not to date a single moms and to wait for the government. He talks about waiting for the state to fail, for daddy government, and the resources to dry up. This is not a solution nor an argument.

With respect to women and finding a decent one, I am asking myself the same question. It was why I joined this forum but, nobody has provided any such info. I suspect everyone is as clueless as the rest of us.

I will ask you again the same question; what are you doing to find one? I am approaching tons of girls. I am swiping right at life. A lot of men bitch and complain but, they wont approach a single woman ever. Here, Stefan will virtue signal and posture about the morality behind pickup. Waiting for a beautiful woman to fall out of the sky is not reality. More importantly, finding one that is young, and hasn't squandered her SMV is another thing all together.

I found Stefan extremely helpful but, he deems dating younger as "creepy." This is not an argument nor helpful.

If a man is to give a woman the ring, what is the likelihood she leaves him or divorces him, cucks him if she spent her best years riding the carousel?

Inbox me. I can say, I have approached more girls in a week then most have in their entire life. These guys will still bitch and complain despite doing nothing to better their situation. Anyway, if you approach more, you meet, date, and hook up more. More sex. You have choice but, you are constantly sifting through bullshit. Flaky women, bitches, cunts, girl you date ghosting which means, she is fucking her ex or some other guy. When she starts calling you again, its because she got chucked by playboy. You see the worst of the worst. You meet some nice girls. You get options. CHOICE!

Still, it is not easy. As you get older, who wants to be at the bar or the club? Who wants to juggle shit tests from a girl who has virtually no life experience but, more kill count then everyone on this forum? Again, what other options is there?

I recently picked up a woman who tried to invite herself over. Two others, one in her early 20s. Another in mid 20s. One of which is a party girl. Another is just super young. The more I see female nature, the further away from the idea of marriage I get knowing what it is like out there. By that I mean, thin, young, and attractive equates to skiing down cawk mountain. Playboys stop calling? Its good girl shtick and roping in some beta to raise her bastard children. Many cucks and beta out there who wife up the woman who squandered her SMV, raising the alphas bastard children, and doing so until she leaves to jump back on the carousel again.

You reach a point where you can grow numb to rejection and shitty female behavior. You just go approach more girls.

[meetjoeblack]

On 9/26/2017 at 2:26 PM, Gavitor said:

It seems that these days its easier to train a woman then to find one that already meets your standards.

This is true. I went back with a buddy to two girls' house. One bailed. She had shitty attitude. Likely due to the fact we were all into the hotter friend. We ended up Eiffel towering her same night. Just met her. She would turn to the next guy and tell him, "she is not like that." Some cuck is likely buying her a ring and playing homemaker with. GROSS

[meetjoeblack]

On 10/11/2017 at 4:41 PM, smarterthanone said:

You can train a woman but you have to start with wet clay and not something already out of the kiln.

Things to look for:

Younger

Moderate self image/esteem (Ignore the "I deserve it all" women unless you know your game and can knock them down a peg hard and fast)

Feminine

 

Then you follow these basic steps:

1. Immediately throw out you are "more conservative" (don't push political) and give an example like "I think a strong man needs to be head of the household."

2. If she sticks around, then take the lead, prove you can be the leader. Decide where to go. Grab her hand at a bar or club if you go out so she knows you are close and lead her where to go. Little things that show you can make decisions. When she says I am going to order the xyz salad. When the waitress comes over order the xyz salad for her. Be a damn man!

3. Never act desperate ever. Everyone makes mistakes, especially young women. If she messes up, don't ever say its OK. You need to hold her to standards just like a man. She blows you off, tell her you are losing interest because she comes off as rude. She flirts with someone else past a reasonable level and tell her that is not acceptable. DO NOT ARGUE. Just state a fact. ie I felt you were being inappropriate and I will not tolerate that. If she starts whining and moaning and does not accept your lead on the issue, just walk away. This is where you show your power and expose her weakness. I had a girl blow me off recently because she was out partying late and missed our early morning hiking plans. I just said, I am not going to tolerate this my time is valuable and you are rude. What she is used to is men saying oh sorry its ok because they just want to dive into her bed.

4. Sexualize motherhood. When you get it on, tell her how you want to make her pregnant. When they feel like they can still be a sexy young woman even when they have children, they will be more open to it. A big hesitation for them is ruining their body and cleaning boogers and puke and sex going out the window. Tell them that isn't true and mean it. Tell them how turned on you will be by them being a mother.

5. On the opposite side, tell them how irrelevant a career is. Personally I make a lot of money so I just say "I don't date women who work outside the home, period." If I hear one peep about college or work or something out a woman's face I am over her in 2 seconds. They learn quick.

 

The girl I am talking to now I told her I expect a woman to be basically pregnant non stop, like 10 kids type scenario and she was just all like melty and hearts for eyes. She responded saying "I only wear two kinds of shoes. Heels and barefoot." And she was serious. You don't know, many women know what they want but no men proposition them like this so they just keep going down the rabbit hole of college -> career -> cats/settling for some chump.

 

Regarding the makeup preferences and stuff, you are being way to picky. For every new aspect you miss out on higher quality women. Like you want a woman who doesnt wear lots of makeup... but wouldn't a woman who wears makeup but say has a 140 IQ be a more attractive partner? Try to just pick like 3 things at most and then judge a woman on the whole package. I mean I prefer brilliant green eyes but I certainly would not include that on my requirements or I would never find a good woman and when I did it would be settling because statistically I will have a pool of one so I can't select the one with the best IQ or the sexiest body, or shares the interests or values I prefer to a higher degree. Hope that makes sense. And if you really are looking for the woman who meets all your criteria exactly you better be like private jet flying, 6'3" GQ cover Einstein. LOL

I agree with just about all this minus absurd amounts of children. Kids don't come cheap. Also, the job market is terrible and the housing market is a nightmare.

Younger ALWAYS. PEAK SMV > the MILKS GONE BAD.

Are you still seeing that young girl? We see eye to eye on mostly everything though, we differ on kill count.

 

TS at 31 is still young. Assuming he works out, eats healthy, keeps testosterone levels up, and has a decent job, no problem pulling girls much younger. Last couple girls were 22, 23. Most recent 23, 26. Its a lot of work but, again, there is no alternative. I am not adverse to online but, I prefer authentic interactions and the world of tinder is super liberal as well as full of single mother victimhood.

Curious as to how you are meeting girls and where?

[smarterthanone]

On 11/6/2017 at 1:54 AM, meetjoeblack said:

I agree with just about all this minus absurd amounts of children. Kids don't come cheap. Also, the job market is terrible and the housing market is a nightmare.

Younger ALWAYS. PEAK SMV > the MILKS GONE BAD.

Are you still seeing that young girl? We see eye to eye on mostly everything though, we differ on kill count.

 

TS at 31 is still young. Assuming he works out, eats healthy, keeps testosterone levels up, and has a decent job, no problem pulling girls much younger. Last couple girls were 22, 23. Most recent 23, 26. Its a lot of work but, again, there is no alternative. I am not adverse to online but, I prefer authentic interactions and the world of tinder is super liberal as well as full of single mother victimhood.

Curious as to how you are meeting girls and where?

I am currently dating a 19 year old for the past month. We met on Tinder. The previous girl who was 18 I met on snapchat. The girl before that was 21 I met at the park.

[Jot]

8 minutes ago, smarterthanone said:

I am currently dating a 19 year old for the past month. 

Right on the edge...how old are you btw?

[smarterthanone]

Just now, Jot said:

Right on the edge...how old are you btw?

I will be 31 soon.

[Jot]

28 minutes ago, smarterthanone said:

I will be 31 soon.

 

Do you look younger than your age? For whatever reason, I remember always having this fear/judgment about age differences between the partners when it comes to any type of relationship or interaction that sooner or later involves sex too.

I am not even 22 and I already feel like a creep around girls 17-19 and I am also subconsciously expecting to be judged by them and be shamed if I were to hit on them or seem to take any interest in them that has any sexual undertone.

Whenever I hear about 18 old girls being attracted, 30+ guys I am really intrigued and some parts of me deny that that is even possible, even though I am aware of the infinity of cases in which this age disparity exists. Although, at the bottom of me feeling disturbed by it, feelings of envy linger secretly.

I am curious about your mindset and how you view the issue and also how people you know or the friends of those who you were dating reacted at the news of dating you.

[Gavitor]

Women generally date older men. When i was in my early 20s it wasn't uncommon for 18-21 year olds to be looking for guys 25-35.

[smarterthanone]

7 hours ago, Jot said:

Do you look younger than your age? For whatever reason, I remember always having this fear/judgment about age differences between the partners when it comes to any type of relationship or interaction that sooner or later involves sex too.

I am not even 22 and I already feel like a creep around girls 17-19 and I am also subconsciously expecting to be judged by them and be shamed if I were to hit on them or seem to take any interest in them that has any sexual undertone.

Whenever I hear about 18 old girls being attracted, 30+ guys I am really intrigued and some parts of me deny that that is even possible, even though I am aware of the infinity of cases in which this age disparity exists. Although, at the bottom of me feeling disturbed by it, feelings of envy linger secretly.

I am curious about your mindset and how you view the issue and also how people you know or the friends of those who you were dating reacted at the news of dating you.

I definitely look my age. I also have a big long ass beard down to my nips that no youngin could ever grow. Girls love older men. At your age, you have it as hard as it will get because you can't compete easily with older men. We have cars, houses, vacations. We also know way more about how the world works than you. We also know exactly what we want from life, from girls, from ourselves. We are also way better in bed. So yeah you have to compete against us. Good luck! (lmfao its all true but its not thaaaat bad for you)

Nobody really cares about it. Friends will be like "Damn, hes such a pimp" "Good for you bro" stuff like that. Older women get really jealous like "Why wont you give me a chance?". My parents just say "Isn't she a little young for you?" but then they don't care at all and just want to know when I am getting married. The girls families have never said anything bad to me. They have all been impressed with me and ok with it all.

When I was younger I felt like I struggled to get decent girls. Now I feel like I am slamming hot quality girls all the time mostly by accident. lmfao

I suggest not getting married until you are at least 30 years old. I almost got married at like 24 to someone but now I get way better girls than her. Unless you aren't constantly increasing your SMV, then maybe take the first decent girl you can get.

2 hours ago, Gavitor said:

Women generally date older men. When i was in my early 20s it wasn't uncommon for 18-21 year olds to be looking for guys 25-35.

This. ^^^

[barn]

Hi Robert 1986,

 

1. Pro-activity is essential, obviously. (while a nice girl is also looking for you she's in a slightly different ball-park having to do with "men propose, women dispose" phenomena.)

a. actions speak louder than words

b. trying to find pretty flowers is a lot easier on a meadow than in the desert. If 'seeds of virtue tend to wither away in your surroundings it could be still that you are trying to plant them in the wrong part of the oasis'.

c. How can you know that you would recognise such an individual if you were in the vicinity? Are you good enough of an observer?

d. Would you say that you have complete ownership over your history? I mean, you understand why you did / do things? (I love Jordan B. Peterson's story of 'the man with a huge Ruby', watch it if you can!)

2. Once something becomes scarce, finding it takes much more effort. However there are many ways you can multiply your efficiency, some require elemental shift in your thinking (that is if you had little success meeting with 'nice' girls so far, most likely it's the way you think).

a. assertiveness, happiness, success makes you more visible

b. becoming a beacon of virtues, integrity repeals the 'users' because they get revealed, while draws like minded people closer due to compatibility.

3. In many ways, it's so much easier to go about 'cracking the code of finding the right person' as there's the plethora of knowledge all the time, every time at your fingertips(Worldwide Internet). The trick (imho IS) to sort, evaluate and implement that knowledge.

a. Stefan M. spoke a lot about the influence our peers/role models have on us and vice versa. Have you asked yourself if those peers/close relationships are demonstrably successful in the topic you are seeking their advice on? If not, you might be actually sabotaging yourself.

4. I recently heard again in a podcast of Stefan M. "emotions don't sustain relationships, otherwise everyone would stay married. Everyone is happy on their wedding day, honeymoon but..."

Likewise, plans and intentions without a consecutive step-by-step follow up won't result in progress, the things you want. Still, I am guessing that the way to go is first and foremost 'see' where you are heading now and where you came from before you would move onto somewhere else. Otherwise you'll end up in circles and demonstrate yet again another existence of a 'generational photocopier' that Stefan M. likes to mention.

Jordan B. Peterson's Past authoring suite? It's a bargain and trust me, it is priceless.

 

Hope I added value, keep us posted of your progress. (Eh?! weird... sounded fdr call in show - ish, nevertheless circle back with updates and all the best!)

[meetjoeblack]

On 11/7/2017 at 11:03 AM, smarterthanone said:

I am currently dating a 19 year old for the past month. We met on Tinder. The previous girl who was 18 I met on snapchat. The girl before that was 21 I met at the park.

I would go as far as to say, you and I agree more then anybody else on this forum. I would take it further to say, you are one of the few people I would deem a bud on this forum. I love FDR/Stefan and what he brings forward. I think we are both on the same page with dating, YOUTH > THE MILKS GONE BAD, and that, "CREEPY" as pursuing said venture is 'not a argument.' FUCK, we need to time stamp where and when he said that exactly.

Anyway, your saying who you dated which doesn't suggest anything about the process in which you are going about for the most part outside tinder which is the passive dating role or majority of females typical approach. I am curious as to the ratio you approach, meet at bars or clubs, the gym, coffee shops, etc. My process is more along the lines of 'natty game.' Not so much pickup as in routines or gimmicks but, actually just mingling with lots of people, women are potentials, men are pals, friends, wings, gym partners, and just exploring my consciousness.

I am a fairly attractive guy who works super hard. Women have deemed be a solid 7. Lets say, 6.5. Women on that rating are running through the top of the pyramid of men; as in, 6.5 getting banged out by 8/9s only to seek white picket fence when hitting the wall or nearly. I've experienced a lot of loss, death, chaos in my life, and I am still hitting the ground running top speed. Conversion rate in both the business/corporate/dating world is poor. Ideally, I am trying to work on my conversion rate, on meeting the ideal sort of woman to MARRY, give the ring to, and the only way I can see this happening is a woman is committed during her SMV top form. Otherwise, DO NOT WANT! I don't want single mother victimhood, I am not interested in raising the alpha male's baby, and or settling down with someone once bad boys stop blowing up her phone.

I am open to hear more about your process. I AVOID ONLINE like the plague. I've been catfished by a woman who tried to sit on me before. She posted her pics from high school but present day is FAT AS FUCKKKKKKKK. Majority of bios are single moms, low status women, and jump offs. Its harder to approach a girl in the gym, to approach in a coffee shop like say starbucks or her workplace but, the conversion rate having done so is 99%. As in, if you pickup in said environments, its practically a layup. Again, many of the gyms are women with semi nude outfits, skin tight yoga pants with shirt tucked int showing off too much ass; female equivalent of posturing. basically, begging to be a single mom.

 

I will go as far and say, if anybody had the amount of experiences with the tyrannical feminine as me, they would have gone MGTOW AGES AGO. For me, I am sucker for punishment I guess. I deem the outcome of WIFE, MOTHER OF MY FUTURE CHILDREN, and QUEEN OF MY CASTLE > infinite amounts of rejection. I will go to the grave KNOWING, I LEFT IT ALL OUT THERE. No regrets. I miss some approaches. Open ended invitations, girl checks me out and I am too in my head some days. It happens but, I am definitely doing my best.

[meetjoeblack]

20 hours ago, barn said:

Hi Robert 1986,

 

1. Pro-activity is essential, obviously. (while a nice girl is also looking for you she's in a slightly different ball-park having to do with "men propose, women dispose" phenomena.)

a. actions speak louder than words

b. trying to find pretty flowers is a lot easier on a meadow than in the desert. If 'seeds of virtue tend to wither away in your surroundings it could be still that you are trying to plant them in the wrong part of the oasis'.

c. How can you know that you would recognise such an individual if you were in the vicinity? Are you good enough of an observer?

d. Would you say that you have complete ownership over your history? I mean, you understand why you did / do things? (I love Jordan B. Peterson's story of 'the man with a huge Ruby', watch it if you can!)

2. Once something becomes scarce, finding it takes much more effort. However there are many ways you can multiply your efficiency, some require elemental shift in your thinking (that is if you had little success meeting with 'nice' girls so far, most likely it's the way you think).

a. assertiveness, happiness, success makes you more visible

b. becoming a beacon of virtues, integrity repeals the 'users' because they get revealed, while draws like minded people closer due to compatibility.

3. In many ways, it's so much easier to go about 'cracking the code of finding the right person' as there's the plethora of knowledge all the time, every time at your fingertips(Worldwide Internet). The trick (imho IS) to sort, evaluate and implement that knowledge.

a. Stefan M. spoke a lot about the influence our peers/role models have on us and vice versa. Have you asked yourself if those peers/close relationships are demonstrably successful in the topic you are seeking their advice on? If not, you might be actually sabotaging yourself.

4. I recently heard again in a podcast of Stefan M. "emotions don't sustain relationships, otherwise everyone would stay married. Everyone is happy on their wedding day, honeymoon but..."

Likewise, plans and intentions without a consecutive step-by-step follow up won't result in progress, the things you want. Still, I am guessing that the way to go is first and foremost 'see' where you are heading now and where you came from before you would move onto somewhere else. Otherwise you'll end up in circles and demonstrate yet again another existence of a 'generational photocopier' that Stefan M. likes to mention.

Jordan B. Peterson's Past authoring suite? It's a bargain and trust me, it is priceless.

 

Hope I added value, keep us posted of your progress. (Eh?! weird... sounded fdr call in show - ish, nevertheless circle back with updates and all the best!)

Thank you for this awesome post. One of the best I've seen even though I know it was for TS not me.

 

I am taking DRASTIC ACTION. I am doing Past/Present/FUTURE authoring suite (dual login purchase; buddy gave me access). I am reading JBP' Maps of meaning. I watched through his Maps of Meaning, Personality, and biblical series vblogs. I am dedicated to self knowledge; "KNOW THY SELF." I am exploring my consciousness. I am getting a education through a variety of sources, not the amateur hour government edu, and listening to fdr/Stefan. Currently, I am reading about the Yoga Sutras, Sanskrit, meditating, working out, eating healthy, and doing a series of udemy courses online. All the above is in between a series of career moves 9-5.

In my free time, I approach a crazy amount of girls everywhere from bars, clubs, gym, coffee shops, yoga class, martial arts, and others. I have used online but, again, it is a cesspool of liberal crazy, SJWs, feminists, single moms, and many women with cratering SMV. I remember picking up a college girl, age 22 who had 400 tinder matches, and she collected them for the ego boost/dopamine spike. I avoid it like the plague and find, the amount of time spent to approach is high but, the investment converts much better then the easy passive dating reproach of online.

I have watched every series you can think of with respect to dating and LTRs from Truth on Sex/Single moms, Gene Warfare series, vids on Mgtow, and a numerous others. Still, the message is loud and clear; DON'T DATE SINGLE MOMS. Still, Stefan fails to provide a solution. He knocks pickup but, again, provides no alternative. Even with pickup, its not like, you talk to one girl, get laid, and live happily ever after. Its fucking trench warfare out here. The dating pool is gone mad. Many women are pretentious narcissistic as in, DIVA ON STEROIDS ON MOMENT, SMV PLUMMETS, AND NOW, ITS SINGLE MOTHER VICTIMHOOD TIME.

I am a old school guy. I like to take women out for dinner or coffee. The thing is, if you see a woman a handful of times, and there is no progression, you are getting cucked. People will jump to examples of alternative scenarios but, this is not any more of an argument then a feminist screaming misogyny. An anomaly doesn't dispute the fact that, a woman will cuck one dude, fuck her ex or playboy, and take your dinner dates. I've found CASUAL hangs > old school dating. Netflix and chill over expensive dinners, flowers, using resources to lock her in.

 

A woman recently went off on a tangent; "DONE WITH MEN, NEVER GETTING MARRIED, JUST NEED GOOD LOOKING MAN FOR DICK EVERY SO OFTEN."

 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

Said woman's IG is just ass pics; female posturing for the alpha. Begging to be a single mom. Shocker, daddy dearest isn't in the household and cycle repeats itself.

 

I am all ears man. I am probably spinning my wheels. ATM, I will continue to approach, to put myself out there but, I am so removed from being emotionally invest, from taking any of this to heart. I approach from genuine interest ALWAYS. I see a beautiful woman, I give her the chance to see what she is about, and I refrain from doing what JBP says men do; projecting some ridiculous archetype onto her that she cannot live up which makes the man a bumbling idiot. I build rapport, talk in a manner that builds off commonality, and interest. She is either interested or is not. If I suggest coffee and she agrees but, she shows no initiative, I lose her digits. If I hookup with a girl and I see her up on some other dudes' via social media, I lose her digits. If I see cuckoldry like behavior and other red flags, I pull away. I am doing my absolute best but, I am seeing more and more reasons not to marry.

Stefan and JBP all point to the pros of marriage mostly which are for the children. It creates an ideal environment but, I am not doing all this to be some ATM or mark for some woman past her prime. Last few girls were 22, 23, 26. When women ghost me, you hit off, hangout, and she just disappears, EVERY TIME SHE JUST JUMPED OFF SOME OTHER GUYS DICK (ex bf, player/playboy/badboy etc). When they start texting, its never genuine or honesty. Its, she got chucked but, she plays off the "I just was busy" rubbish.

 

My biggest fear now is if my eyes hadn't opened up to the reality out there. Furthermore, if you haven't noticed, Hollywood is pushing cuckoldry culture throughout majority of these mainstream tv shows (Stranger things, HIMYM, Breaking Bad, Shameless, etc). It portrays the horse shit society we are living in, the promo for single moms, for 'sloot gonna sloot,' and for "manning up," giving plummeting SMV the ring when the MILKS GONE BAD.

 

Boys, I will find my Queen or MY BLASTED GENES WILL BE WEEDED OUT OF EXISTENCE!

[smarterthanone]

I am very selective who I hit on. I am not approaching a million women. That being said, my strategy will not work for most men because I am a sniper and I almost always get what I want, very rarely get shut down.

[Ninja]

... it's allot more difficult to find someone worthy of a lifetime than it is to find someone who fits the criteria of being sexually attractive.

 

When you do find a person worthy of a lifetime all you need to have is consistency in your own values. Essentially, in order to find your ideal mate you only need to be worthy of that persons love. If you doubt anything about yourself you will inherently expect whomever you date to ignore that insecurity as long as you do.

 

It may be insecurity that is limiting the types of people you choose or who are willing to get to know you.

 

Objectifying a potential mate by seeing them as an exploitable commodity rather than a human being whose needs must be fulfilled in order to thrive as your ideal mate will most definitely not result in you finding a reliable, honest and loving life partner.

 

I think humilility is the key to the heart of this matter...

[barn]

21 hours ago, meetjoeblack said:

Thank you for this awesome post. One of the best I've seen even though I know it was for TS not me.

You're welcome, I love learning from high integrity - wisdom seekers.

Maaan, that sounds like a 'caffeined up, squirrel-crazy amount' of directions you're moving in... I wonder if you have the time to distill, absorb and discard. (maybe you do, I'm comparing myself here)

Regarding your lengthy message, I'm still trying to but can't quite put my finger on something that I thought I had picked up on, so hope you don't mind a few questions.

21 hours ago, meetjoeblack said:

In my free time, I approach a crazy amount of girls everywhere from bars,

Why do you think it's necessary to do so? (Perhaps it's me, but it reminds me of some blokes when I was younger telling me 'Ask a girl out, probably she'll decline. Ask a hundred and you'll get to pick.')

21 hours ago, meetjoeblack said:

I remember picking up a college girl, age 22 who had 400 tinder matches, and she collected

This example particularly never happened to me but I wonder if you'd have decided to approach and then picked her up, had you known the red flags associated with such 'scalp-collecting' honey-traps. I get the sexual attraction part but since I have philosophy it's just not a turn on anymore once I see a breathtaking beauty. It's more like looking at a Rolex watch with a possible 20$ price tag... You never know, it could be fake...

Here's the question: Do you feel the maximum attraction towards a person you are about to ask out before really knowing who she is?

21 hours ago, meetjoeblack said:

Its fucking trench warfare out here.

Now, that's an interesting way to put it. Would you say that there are sides and fighting, use of force on both sides? Or perhaps you were speaking allegorically about cruelty and loss as consequences? (Or I'm blowing it up and seeing 'Zee-germans' everywhere? :-} )

21 hours ago, meetjoeblack said:

An anomaly doesn't dispute the fact that, a woman will cuck one dude, fuck her ex or playboy, and take your dinner dates. I've found CASUAL hangs > old school dating. Netflix and chill over expensive dinners, flowers, using resources to lock her in.

Were you generalising here fairly? I mean, how much and what is the utility of this perspective to you in order to reach happiness?

21 hours ago, meetjoeblack said:

ATM, I will continue to approach, to put myself out there but, I am so removed from being emotionally invest, from taking any of this to heart.

Could this be why no matter the high turnover, quality isn't reached? Would you say that people who treat/see dating as sport can be invested in the 'connection' aspect, they can simply relax and just be themselves? (No trick question, I'm genuinely curious as to what you have to say about it.)

22 hours ago, meetjoeblack said:

I see a beautiful woman, I give her the chance to see what she is about, and I refrain from doing what JBP says men do; projecting some ridiculous archetype onto her that she cannot live up which makes the man a bumbling idiot. I build rapport, talk in a manner that builds off commonality, and interest. She is either interested or is not. If I suggest coffee and she agrees but, she shows no initiative, I lose her digits. If I hookup with a girl and I see her up on some other dudes' via social media, I lose her digits. If I see cuckoldry like behavior and other red flags, I pull away. I

Do you follow the same scenario all the time with each unique individual?

 

22 hours ago, meetjoeblack said:

My biggest fear now is if my eyes hadn't opened up to the reality out there.

When people speak (myself included) of their fears, many times I recall the phrase 'you don't bump into an open door' but 'you will be looking for your keys if you think it's locked'.

Makes sense, still I don't know whether it's true.

The question is if you are curious to find out more without reservations? As a true explorer, like you mentioned earlier on (I'm paraphrasing) 'no archetypical projections'.

 

Take your time if you want to with the answering. It's a lot I know.

All the very best till next time,

Barnsley

[meetjoeblack]

On 9/25/2017 at 4:38 PM, aviet said:

If you want to be around a lot of women who are looking for someone based more on your character and have family values, research Asia, Russia and South America. But if you want that in the athi-libertarian package, online is likely the only hope.

LOL @ Mr right this time!

 

 

LOL @ single mom with kid + expecting & is online dating. Any cucks available?

This is a classic example of online dating. I would rather take a toaster oven into a bath tub then date that. Even worse, most of the pics are usually of women from their high school years when 70lbs lighter. Online is not a solution anymore then going to the red light district.

 

How can anybody advocate this as being a solution?

[meetjoeblack]

14 hours ago, smarterthanone said:

I am very selective who I hit on. I am not approaching a million women. That being said, my strategy will not work for most men because I am a sniper and I almost always get what I want, very rarely get shut down.

No offense bro but guys usually say they don't get shutdown when they take down fatties or pick low hanging fruit; women that want them rather then pursuing top form SMV. If you are gunning for top form SMV, you get shutdown PERIOD. My bud is a model and he gets shutdown. Bangs models, pageant winners, 10s on the regular. He's never had a dry spell EVER. He reels girls everywhere be it online or IRL. Many a times, women are in LTRs, married, engaged or in some weird life scenario. They never mention it and it comes up eventually. I am not saying people need to spam approach. There is likely a better route but, waiting for women to pick you is not the best viable option. Hot girl in the gym. How do you proceed? Eye contact more then once is an invitation from my perspective and anything will suffice as an icebreaker. Most guys try cowardly in their workplace or social circle. Rarely a perfect stranger regardless of the scenario. It needs to be the perfect situation.

[meetjoeblack]

On 11/9/2017 at 8:29 PM, barn said:

I responded and the forum logged me out. One of my criticisms of this forum if, it could stop doing that. Here goes a second time. I will be less long winded lol

Quote

 

Here's the question: Do you feel the maximum attraction towards a person you are about to ask out before really knowing who she is?

Now, that's an interesting way to put it. Would you say that there are sides and fighting, use of force on both sides? Or perhaps you were speaking allegorically about cruelty and loss as consequences? (Or I'm blowing it up and seeing 'Zee-germans' everywhere? :-} )

 

Maximum attraction? Hmmm. Well, I do not know how to answer that. The same when men deem a woman a 9 or a 10. What does that even mean? I approach based upon genuine interest, attraction, and I begin from a clean slate. By that, i mean, no previous experience or date affects how I see her. Its only after getting to know her, how what she says aligns with what she does, I proceed accordingly.

Quote

Were you generalising here fairly? I mean, how much and what is the utility of this perspective to you in order to reach happiness?

Now a days, liberals are screaming racist or misogyny, and to quote Stefan, its not an argument. I am no MGTOW by any stretch. I don't see the value in taking my ball and going home but, the entitlement for the ring, children, and white picket fence thereafter SMV has cratered goes over my head. How some men participate when the same woman in her best days would never give the time is just begging for getting cucked. Generalizing or not, it doesn't dispute that a significant amount of the behavior I've come across is not acceptable dating let alone a LTR or even dare I say marriage.

Quote

Could this be why no matter the high turnover, quality isn't reached? Would you say that people who treat/see dating as sport can be invested in the 'connection' aspect, they can simply relax and just be themselves? (No trick question, I'm genuinely curious as to what you have to say about it.)

Quality isn't reached because in the west, the vast majority of women are skiing down cawk mountain, are running through the bad boys, and are clinging to marriage after SMV has cratered or nearly. You got cucks raising bastard children out of wedlock, footing the bills for single moms, the same woman that was giving said man no time a day beforehand. Hits the wall and the fallback is beta male cuck provider. There is a lack of quality. Its a zero sum game. Winner takes all. Feminism pushes the narrative of male disposability. Apps like tinder are dopamine spikes for women when on top form SMV as is social media. Most men marry the woman who is semi attractive and willing to give the time a day. No self exploration. They know nothing else. No options. Hence why "not in the mood" takes for some many guys. I have a buddy. If a gf or a fwb/ons says, "I am not in the mood," he respects it but, lets her know, he is going out to get his. If she wont take care of his needs, some other girl will. This was eye opening.

 

Quote

Quote

Do you follow the same scenario all the time with each unique individual?

Again, I approach from genuine interest. Attraction is there. I wouldn't approach a woman who was morbidly obese or I couldn't get hard with lol I am not saying they are all gorgeous or runway models. I am not that either.

Its a clean slate. I begin with enthusiasm. With open conversation. At the instant of red flag, flaky, entitlement, diva-like behavior, I grow avoidant. Its not so much in what I say but, my sub communication, body language, and my disinterest. For instance, a woman went off on a tangent, "don't need a man." Makes money. Has her own house. I actually brought her up to JTO years ago. There is nothing for me here. In terms of femininity, she was attractive but, she expelled feminist doctrine which turned me off. Surely enough, the closer to hitting 30, and and as SMV cratered, suddenly, guess who starts blowing up my phone, drunk dialing?

As a younger man, late teens or early 20s, I would attempt to rationalize what this meant? As I got older, my eyes opened, and I took the red pill. She pissed away her best years and SMV craters or nearly has. She ran through the bad boys/playboys/alphas and reality is suddenly kicking in. Her best years were for the men that would not give her the ring. She jumped off dome dude's dick. he stopped calling. Found someone thinner, hotter, younger, and she now needs back up plan. Unfortunately for her, I was with someone much younger, and life moves on. Now a days, apps like snapchat are fantastic for the man that uses online. I have been catfished as some other men have been. School boy error. Add number and acquire picture. Many women post their high school pics when a hundred pounds lighter.

Quote

 

When people speak (myself included) of their fears, many times I recall the phrase 'you don't bump into an open door' but 'you will be looking for your keys if you think it's locked'.

Makes sense, still I don't know whether it's true.

 

I fear getting cucked. I fear pissing away this life with the wrong woman. An alternative of course is not choosing and going this journey alone. Despite the series of rejections, failures, flakes, this life path doesn't leave me wondering, WHAT IF?

Living in fear is not living at all. When I look back on my life, on my death bed, I can say, I did everything in my power to acquire the ideal wife and mother of my children. There is that old saying, God helps those who help themselves. At this point, there is nothing more i can do that is humanly possible outside exploring my consciousness, self knowledge, reason, and evidence. This is the path I am taking on. I have met maybe three women in my life that were somewhat aligned with that. Its a rarity for sure.

Quote

 

The question is if you are curious to find out more without reservations? As a true explorer, like you mentioned earlier on (I'm paraphrasing) 'no archetypical projections'.

 

Take your time if you want to with the answering. It's a lot I know.

All the very best till next time,

Barnsley

 

I appreciate you taking the time.

Now, I have a few questions for you. Are you married? Dating? If so, how did you meet. If you are single, how do you proceed?

I find it funny. Most men will say on reddit/misc/4chan, they never get rejected. Women come to them. IRL, they are going home with a fatty or other low hanging fruit, single moms, and some downtown jump off. You can skim through any of these sorts of threads and here it. Some guy sits by the bar and women play the role of men, and pursue. YEAH OK BUD. So, low hanging fruit with masculine intent. Sounds like a great time.

[SnapSlav]

 

On 11/9/2017 at 10:32 PM, meetjoeblack said:

LOL @ Mr right this time!

[...]

LOL @ single mom with kid + expecting & is online dating.

I dunno... I think ALL I needed to see was that TERRIBLE grammar in both posts. Hey, we all make mistakes, but "Not typical, but I'm not your typical" redundancy? "[A] man that for his shit together"? No thank you. I don't think you have enough of the genes associated with IQ for me to be interested... Those "I make terrible choices and I don't take ownership of that" signals were just cannons fired at an already-sinking ship.

[smarterthanone]

On 11/10/2017 at 1:41 AM, meetjoeblack said:

No offense bro but guys usually say they don't get shutdown when they take down fatties or pick low hanging fruit; women that want them rather then pursuing top form SMV. If you are gunning for top form SMV, you get shutdown PERIOD. My bud is a model and he gets shutdown. Bangs models, pageant winners, 10s on the regular. He's never had a dry spell EVER. He reels girls everywhere be it online or IRL. Many a times, women are in LTRs, married, engaged or in some weird life scenario. They never mention it and it comes up eventually. I am not saying people need to spam approach. There is likely a better route but, waiting for women to pick you is not the best viable option. Hot girl in the gym. How do you proceed? Eye contact more then once is an invitation from my perspective and anything will suffice as an icebreaker. Most guys try cowardly in their workplace or social circle. Rarely a perfect stranger regardless of the scenario. It needs to be the perfect situation.

You are mistaking physical attractiveness with top SMV. Being hot is different than being relationship material. Physical attraction is one attribute to SMV.

You also assume your buddy who is a model would keep him from getting shutting down, like if he does, anyone would. No. Women don't really care about physical attractiveness that much. Model is also a lame job and not good for SMV, if he looked how he looked and was say a wealthy wall street banker, and had the brains to go with a job like that... that would be a high SMV. A model is kinda ehh I think, not relationship material in most womens eyes.

So sure what you are saying makes sense if you just want to bang every 10 with no regard to compatible personalities and values. If you see a woman with compatible personalities and values and THEN hit on her, you will have a very high success rate because she will also be interested in finding a matching man. Make sense? If you find a great match for you, chances are you are a great match for her. Just because a girl is hot doesn't mean I am interested. That is why I don't just approach every hot girl.

Story time: I once saw a girl who was like a 7 which is low for me but she was playing with some other peoples kids and she was AMAZING with them, and I spoke to her for like 5 minutes and found out she was very traditional and believed in home schooling, she got my attention. A 10 who is out shopping for 5 pairs of shoes and 3 new pieces of jewelry and being loud and obnoxious about it does not turn me on at all and I would not approach.

[meetjoeblack]

8 hours ago, SnapSlav said:

 

I dunno... I think ALL I needed to see was that TERRIBLE grammar in both posts. Hey, we all make mistakes, but "Not typical, but I'm not your typical" redundancy? "[A] man that for his shit together"? No thank you. I don't think you have enough of the genes associated with IQ for me to be interested... Those "I make terrible choices and I don't take ownership of that" signals were just cannons fired at an already-sinking ship.

 

Sadly, this is a significant portion of the female population. Even then, they have no problem getting banged. I would still hit it (with a rubber) or take a blowie. Just being honest.

[barn]

Hi @meetjoeblack

Thanks for writing to my questions. Not sure how to follow-up hereafter so for now I'll just respond to what you're asking.

On 11/12/2017 at 4:13 PM, meetjoeblack said:

Now, I have a few questions for you. Are you married? Dating? If so, how did you meet. If you are single, how do you proceed?

I'm in my early 30s, male - apache attack helicopter. Giggles.

I'm not married, was before once. I can see it happening again but have a great deal of testing/'knowing' to do, prior. Currently, making progress laying the never lain foundation of my life - being centered, while improving industriousness simultaneously. (So glad, I took the red pill and internalised the 'Pay me now or pay me later, but you will pay me!' principle... otherwise I'd be still probably busy at upholding a collection of cognitive dissonances.) I went into it(marriage) due to my own unexamined false set of hopes, avoidance and lack of guidance /bad guidance. Also, to a great degree out of hunger for a true connection, never had...and I lied to myself because I was impatient and ignorant with my own needs. Luckily I exited before having a child and wow (!) how quickly my previous relationships deteriorated with little to no effort. Feels a lot lighter too. Importantly this taught / will always remind me of the values of virtues/significance, their lack of. 

I don't feel like dating but that also means I'm more into R.T.R. which has the possibility of crossover... I'll see if I'm ready to go over the bridge, once I get there. Priorities come first for me.

I know that there will be fantastic opportunity, I can tell I would crumble if I missed it out of not having prepared/done what I could. The way I see it, 'I already got two written warnings'... Am smart enough to stop making the same mistakes over and over and finally work with my 'meco' system. Reason & evidence, hard work at therapy... etc. worth it all, especially when knowing "we are all slowly dieing!".

Would you believe after having read me that I'm a pretty upbeat guy, all things considered?

Barnsley