J.L.W Posted December 17, 2017 Posted December 17, 2017 This thread has now been deleted to the best of my ability. Unfortunately I cannot do much about it if people have decided to quote me. Aside from message them. Anything I said here is water under the bridge and correctness of interpretation on my part is not to be assumed.
Wuzzums Posted December 17, 2017 Posted December 17, 2017 I take it you two are not related by blood, correct?. What's the age difference?
barn Posted December 17, 2017 Posted December 17, 2017 (edited) re: ... +++ ... Edited April 15, 2018 by barn
Wuzzums Posted December 17, 2017 Posted December 17, 2017 I have known women that exhibit that same physical closeness. I have had a friend that I accidentally elbowed several times. I would just do my usual movements and gesticulation but she would be standing so close to me (and out of my sight) it would've been impossible not to touch her. This same friend also had this odd fantasy-like attraction to her father. I don't know how to put it, she didn't like the real man but she liked her imaginary version of him. The closest analogy I can think of is having a crush on Hermione but hating Emma Watson's guts. Something like that. She also fantasized about a cousin of hers (the implication being that if he wasn't her cousin then you know what) but I brushed that off as something typical of single children. They cannot possibly comprehend the bond between brother and sister and that bond is psychological more than biological. Study shows it is formed in early childhood, the promoter being seeing your mother caring for the other person (which applies whether it's a sibling, cousin, or unrelated individual). Another person of this type I have met also had daddy-like issues, her words. She was cognizant of the problem but she saw it as something interesting rather than a problem to be fixed. In both of these cases the father was a peripheral figure, not having much to do with the raising of the child. Attention starved I'm guessing they begin this cavalcade of strategies to get their primary male figure to notice them. And another woman (older than me this time) that also exhibited these traits (closeness, tension in the air, etc) never once mentioned her father but constantly talked about her son which was a teenager. It wasn't about specific things, it was about her mentioning she has a responsibility towards him, that she was bound by him. Very impersonal type of statements. This is not out of the ordinary of course BUT she said those things in every single conversation she ever had with anyone. The diagnosis is Histrionic Personality Disorder though Cluster B personality disorders might be a more appropriate because people usually shift from all 3 disorders. Here's what I find fascinating and I want to run by you so I know I'm not making up theories. For starters all 3 of the women I have mentioned said they liked me. The first two that I can attest have had (or have) boyfriends that resemble me in temperament/personality... and you. I too have a low tolerance for drama in that I don't care about it nor does it affect me in any way emotionally. I also have a penchant for solitary endeavors like you do with chess. Another funny coincidence is the dream you mentioned. After cutting ties with my friend with HPD (because like you I had no idea what was going on exactly) I have had a very similar dream. In my case it was her grandfather that warned me and said the more I ignored her or not pay attention the more her seductive behavior will be accentuated. Speaking from personal experience, if attention IS given it is either (a) ignored or (b) seen as intrusive. It's literally a 3 ways to lose, no way to win scenario. So if I am correct then it means her currency is not desire but attention. Overtly sexualizing herself is just one of many attention-seeking strategies available for her, and probably the most effective one. My advice which is also the advice I have received from a psychiatrist, is to avoid these types of people entirely. If I am correct in assessing that you have something about you that people with HPD (cluster B) are drawn to, the winning strategy is not to give in because almost invariably HPD's always find another target. Here are some famous case studies: - youtuber Laci Green. After years of spewing feminist bs in an sexualized manner she switched sides not because of arguments but because (a) feminism is not trendy anymore, and (b) she's banging some dude that can easily be classified as >ourguy - actress Angelina Jolie. She has been formerly diagnosed with HPD (or one of the cluster B's, doesn't really matter). Just to a google image search of "angelina jolie brother" and you'll see why I brought her up. - actor Will Smith. I'm just theorizng here because I don't have much experience with males but he exhibits all the traits. My guess as to why he dropped out of the lime-light is that he's getting his attention-fix from somewhere else, mainly his son Jaden, which might be gay seeing how he likes dressing up in skirts. 2 hours ago, J.L.W said: ...
barn Posted December 17, 2017 Posted December 17, 2017 (edited) re: ... +++ ... Edited April 15, 2018 by barn
Wuzzums Posted December 17, 2017 Posted December 17, 2017 13 minutes ago, J.L.W said: Quote So if I am correct then it means her currency is not desire but attention. Overtly sexualizing herself is just one of many attention-seeking strategies available for her, and probably the most effective one. My advice which is also the advice I have received from a psychiatrist, is to avoid these types of people entirely. If I am correct in assessing that you have something about you that people with HPD (cluster B) are drawn to, the winning strategy is not to give in because almost invariably HPD's always find another target. Hmm... Mate this is just grim! She is my sister if she was a drug addled low life I would not abandon her. I get how you might want to avoid these sorts of chicks but family is different. She cannot help the fact that she DOES have a sex drive. When she was even younger and mentioned some vulgarity to me I realised she had been thinking of it already but, that does not make her a leper. Yes, her being family makes your situation complicated but I was trying to say that she won't be the last person with HPD that will latch on to you (if my assumptions are correct). When that will happen just ignore the person. In your sister's case just don't do anything because if she's not getting what she wants from you she'll find someone else. I don't believe the sexual behavior is related to a sex drive. Like I've said, HPD's are attention seeking, that's their end goal. Sex is another way to get that. Imagine being in a competition with a bunch of males and you turn overnight into a very attractive woman. How will you act? Will you try to hide your cleavage and dress modestly? Or will you amp-up your sensuality to 11 just to get that competitive edge over the men? It's an impersonal type of sexuality. The 2nd person in my previous post for example said she had lost her virginity to a random taxi driver because "it was time" or something like that. Later however in her story she casually mentions she gets free cab rides now. So you see, it wasn't about sex it was about the free cab rides. It wasn't a random guy, it was someone she chose because she knew she could manipulate him. This particular person had an uncanny ability of zero-ing on a person's type/insecurities. She had me figured out in half a second and I'm not exaggerating. In less than 10 minutes she had a room of 20 people eating from the palm of her hand. This is why I have my doubts that your sister (again, if she has HPD, which is not exactly rare) is subservient to her sex drive. She's cognizant of what she's doing.
J.L.W Posted December 17, 2017 Author Posted December 17, 2017 (edited) ... +++ ... Edited April 15, 2018 by J.L.W
J.L.W Posted January 18, 2018 Author Posted January 18, 2018 (edited) ... +++ ... Edited April 15, 2018 by J.L.W
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