Is it possible to make homeschooling financially sustainable and if so, how?!

[Roxibillion]

Dear All, 

This is only my second post on the forum (although the first was the very same in the general board)...and I'm looking for some guidance in two areas, perhaps some of you can help. 

I have been listening to Stef for approx 2 years now and through his work and the work of others I have been 'red pilled' just in time and now plan to start a family with my
husband and use my 'eggs' before they expire. 

I would consider my husband and I to be relatively intelligent, however we have not been motivated to bring home large incomes in the past and have therefore both 'settled' in our average low skilled (essentially admin level) jobs, valuing time at home more than time spent working. Although I am the highest earner we both agree that our only option is for me to give up work to raise our children, for the first 4 years at least this is non-negotiable. I am currently employed by a well respected privately owned organisation and am keen to leave on good terms with them as they have treated me well, and - were it not for our family, I would not see any reason to leave. 
It is fair to say that I have some concerns on how we will continue to make ends meet in our current situation as we just about manage now whilst we are both earning. There are definite sacrifices to be made, but our largest outgoing (mortgage) is not one we are prepared to compromise on as we feel it will reflect negatively on our children to move to an undesirable area where undesirable characters will be our community. The property that we have is good value for the location we are in and boasts the space we need, downsizing is not an option as we have children from a previous marriage to consider also. 
I wonder if it will be possible for me to find something to do using my existing skills which can generate an acceptable/ comparable income from home whilst being able to put the majority of my time, focus and energy in to our children and ensure that I am around and engaged enough to be able to love and educate them. This is consuming my every waking thought and I am very keen to get some feedback from others on the forum based on your experiences. There are no others around who can care for the children, nor would I wish there to be. 

As we have not yet conceived, my employer is not aware of my 'new' life plan and so the other thing I am looking for guidance on is with regard to interviews that we are currently conducting at my place of work for a new member of our team, and eventually for my replacement. Once we have identified their capability from a professional perspective I am keen to ensure that the new person(s) who come in are a good fit for the long term and that they are moral/ ethical and hard working individuals - what is your advice to me to decipher this from their character in a short cultural interview where I would spend no more than 30 minutes with them. 

Thanks for taking the time to read this. 

[M.2]

Hello!

I always jump on threads dealing with homeschooling because it was the single most valuable experience in my life, even though we did it for only two years. I am 21, so I don't know much about life and employment in general, but I can tell you how my parents made it possible. 

After about 7 years of school, my mother was convinced that the public/private school system was very toxic to me and my brothers. Note that we always went to the best schools. In short, school undid every piece of parenting that we received during the summer breaks. So she went to persuade my father to consider the idea of homeschooling. Homeschooling was and still is illegal in both my home countries, so we had to work through back doors.

My parents were always rather poor, even by post-communist standards. So what they did was that my mother schooled us in the mornings, and then went to work late in the afternoons. This was possible because my father was her employer. He was however always very sceptical of the idea, and gave in only because he was also aware of the state of public education, and he trusted his wife's judgment. He himself was the boss of the company, therefore worked day and night as usual, but it was difficult without his best employee being fully present. He usually went socialising and networking in the evenings, but as a commitment to the homeschooling, he came home every night and talked with us for hours about life. They made much less money than before, as one can guess.

In summary, parents went out of their way, sometimes quasi-illegally, to make this experience possible for us. They worked non-stop, they never took vacations, they decided to forego getting a new place, and they took the effort to wrestle with 3 adolescent boys whom the school system had completely demolished in every way. In the beginning, we hated the new system, we threw tantrums every single day, we were socially distant from our peers (not that we wanted to be near them). It was so difficult that they could only manage it for 2 years. 

If my parents could do it, you can too. Even if you don't eat some days, it is still worth it.

[Vengey_Abel]

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Make each student an individual IPO and vote across blockchain on mass-performance. Bam.

[smarterthanone]

Most people waste money. Just stop wasting money buying stuff. I am pretty well off and I will make my kids wood blocks and buy some books and they can play outside with sticks. That would be like super rich status back in the day of the printing press, often a family dedicated to education would have a bible and maybe one other book. That's it. You don't need to buy tons of crap for kids like people do for whatever reason, just ruins them anyways.

[Elizbaeth]

On 1/25/2018 at 2:54 AM, Roxibillion said:

I would consider my husband and I to be relatively intelligent, however we have not been motivated to bring home large incomes in the past and have therefore both 'settled' in our average low skilled (essentially admin level) jobs, valuing time at home more than time spent working.

Hey! First off, I understand the anxiety you have and how it can consume you. Almost any anxiety I have concerning my children is an instant, all-consuming worry and takes almost all my thoughts and if my husband doesn’t immediately address and fix these anxieties I freak out and worry that we’re heading straight for an iceberg and we need to fix everything asap. 

 

Ok, so maybe I’m entirely wrong in this, but hear me out and it could help.You say that your husband is intelligent and and he wants a family, but since you were the high-earner, it seems likeyou’re worried that he won’t be able to bring home the bacon. It seems like you doubt your husband’s ability to be ambitious and his ability to compete, which is an understandable fear since he has been content and stagnant and relationship-oriented in your marriage. Maybe he has been all these things because he’s had no motive to go out and be more successful. He already got the girl. 

I’ve found that sometimes men - especially if they are prematurely rewarded - forget to be “men,” and end up coasting. Not that they’re bad or anything. They're often extremely capable, they just fell into the alluring trap of being a little too womanly in the relationship. If your man has any real streak of dormant masculinity in him, it will wake up once you’re home with a baby and no longer picking up his slack. He may stumble around for a while trying to figure out how to maximize his income and get the most for your family, but if you believe he has the potential ability to do what’s needed, then you’re going to have to step back and let him do it. It takes a lot of faith, but I think men can sense whether or not you’re relaxed in their abilities and tend to perform accordingly. Give him the space and trust to be the breadwinner your family will need. 

 

Ither than that, you can be incredibly frugal, especially in the first years. Babies can be made to be incredibly minimalistic. If you breastfeed, basically you will only need a car seat, diapers, and a few outfits. They could sleep in a box and be fine. Almost all other baby items are designed to help the mom out, since it can be limiting and tiring to constantly hold the child. Thrift stores and friends with second hand items are amazing. I haven’t paid myself more than $100 for clothes of items, because we either inherited used items or paid dimes and dollars at consignment/secondhand stores. 

It can work. I know people who homeschooled 2-3 kids on teacher salaries (ironic that the teacher didn’t want his kids at school). They lived very sparsely, but they met all their needs and were never in debt. They paid for everything in cash and planned a purpose for every dollar before they ever saw it. 

 

It can be done. It sounds like you didn’t practice hypergamy and now you’re worried that your husband isn’t capable of being you need for a family. He may never have the type of drive Donald Trump has, but most men want to please and provide for their families. Be gentle with him and show him you trust him enough to hand the job of providing over to him without criticism or attempts at control (both of which communicate lack of trust), and this will let him grow into what innate drive he has.