barn Posted April 19, 2018 Posted April 19, 2018 About caring for your own wellbeing. It's a trainable skill, MAKE SURE YOU MENTION to your counselor. My amateur, friendly forum-spiderman advice is to start small. I mean, it will be a challenge nonetheless but it is a safe and strong beginning. What if you paid more attention to the details you did concerning stuff that was for/against your self. Start with for example listening in to your inner chatter. Notice the things that make you feel good/bad. That's a good start.
Ronin_3000 Posted April 19, 2018 Author Posted April 19, 2018 I should ask my parents if they care for my well being? Of course they will say yes.
barn Posted April 19, 2018 Posted April 19, 2018 On 04/19/2018 at 6:16 AM, Ronin_3000 said: What should I ask? How do I find a career I enjoy? Can I do it over email? Now, you don't have to do it but then you can't find out the details. You wouldn't want to do it over email. You wouldn't be able to see everything, react, say things in a natural manner. Why would you want to do it over email instead ?
barn Posted April 19, 2018 Posted April 19, 2018 3 minutes ago, Ronin_3000 said: I should ask my parents if they care for my well being? Of course they will say yes. Fantastic, then please ask for their help figuring some solutions out for you. Tell them your worries, tell them everything you think is important so that they get how much you need to crack this complicated issue!
barn Posted April 19, 2018 Posted April 19, 2018 One msg got modded, here's the question from it: Why did you ask if you could do it over email?
Ronin_3000 Posted April 19, 2018 Author Posted April 19, 2018 I don't like talking to my parents. I think my dad will say that I should just try something new.
barn Posted April 19, 2018 Posted April 19, 2018 1 minute ago, Ronin_3000 said: I don't like talking to my parents. I think my dad will say that I should just try something new. Ahh... Are you saying that in your opinion they only say they care but in action that means empty nothing burgers?
Ronin_3000 Posted April 19, 2018 Author Posted April 19, 2018 My dad will introduce me to people and stuff. One time I said I was interested in becoming a lawyer, and he contacted some lawyer friends to talk to me about being their paralegal or student.
barn Posted April 19, 2018 Posted April 19, 2018 This might sound strange but he's kind of, trying to help? Maybe then, you could be a bit more detailed about, it's not what to do but how to figure out, that you want to do first. That's what you need help with. Have you asked him to tell you how he decided to become a lawyer? What about orientation counselling? What about bringing this same topic up the next time you go for a session? I mean, there must be something you are interested in doing more than just a fleeting 'kinda looks cool' idea.
Ronin_3000 Posted April 19, 2018 Author Posted April 19, 2018 I haven't asked him. I'll email him asking how he decided to become a lawyer. I'll bring this topic up next session.
barn Posted April 19, 2018 Posted April 19, 2018 Just now, Ronin_3000 said: I haven't asked him. I'll email him asking how he decided to become a lawyer. I'll bring this topic up next session. That's progress, not sure if it will take care of your conflicting ideas for good but I also want to be respectful at the same time. If you see patterns, lack of certainty, it's because of opposing questions existing in an unanswered state. Finally for now, would you say our chat was useful to you? Have I positively contributed to your seeking of answers in your estimation?
Ronin_3000 Posted April 19, 2018 Author Posted April 19, 2018 Yes, I think this chat was useful. Thank you.
barn Posted April 19, 2018 Posted April 19, 2018 1 minute ago, Ronin_3000 said: Yes, I think this chat was useful. Thank you. you're welcome, any updates I'll be reading that!
Siegfried von Walheim Posted April 19, 2018 Posted April 19, 2018 Answering the question with the assumption you actually want to live a life a K selected person would consider worth living: the American Midwest. Throw a dart on the map and chances are you won't find better in the world. It's got the best demographics (White, conservative, Christian, high IQ--rivaling Japan and China, low crime, etc. etc.) and great geography that makes it pretty much impenetrable in the event of war. However my answer only applies to Kangaroos. Rabbits... Well, I'm not going to bother because I eat rabbits.
Ronin_3000 Posted April 19, 2018 Author Posted April 19, 2018 Here's his answer: "When I was about 9 years old I went with my father to the local county law library to "help" him look for an answer to a business tax problem he was having. He was not a lawyer and just feeling his way through the case books at the library and I was trying to help him. I thought I found the answer in a case and he did to -- so I thought being a lawyer was kind of easy and decided then to become a lawyer. By college I thought I was not smart enough to get through law school so I didn't seriously think about going until I took a course an undergraduate course of jurisprudence in my junior year taught by () a law professor who was very inspirational. I did reasonably well in the class and he encouraged me to take the LSAT and apply to law school. My LSAT scores were bad but I got into a third tier state law school () and did ok there and graduated and passed the bar and became a lawyer." Not sure where to go from here.
barn Posted April 19, 2018 Posted April 19, 2018 Ok, that's something. I thought, by speaking to him about the different stages/events that happened for him, you could get some insights into the decision making process. What do you think, why did your dad choose the things he did? What did he want to get out of it? How deep his motivation was? What sacrifices did he have to make? What did he think about the job when he started for real (glad/regret)? p. s. (I'm just making sure... while I appreciate, you don't need to /shouldn't be so specific about detailed personal information(place names, people's names... et cetera) , I hope you do know this is a public forum. If you thought those infos were still important, send them privately. I have edited the quotes I took, recommend/ask that you do the same.)
lorry Posted April 20, 2018 Posted April 20, 2018 On 4/18/2018 at 5:21 PM, Ronin_3000 said: I'll list the places I've lived and the pros and cons of each. Feel free to suggest brand new places that I haven't lived in yet. Beijing, China- pros: relatively cheap, easy to get laid, good public transportation, sense of freedom (think '70s hippy type of freedom), conversational level Mandarin, easy to find work cons: bad food, dirty, noisy, slow Internet because VPN is required for Google services, can't play Pokemon GO Osaka, Japan- pros: best food, clean, quiet, good public transportation, best Internet, fluent in Japanese cons: expensive, hard to get laid (but easier than USA), hard to get a job without proper documentation, oppressive culture Tri-state, USA- pros: near parental safety net, native level English cons: mediocre food, shit public transportation, hard to get laid, expensive Learn to cook, buy a car, and find a 3D waifu you damn Weeb.
bodhi Posted April 25, 2018 Posted April 25, 2018 Use the Jordan Peterson “Self Authoring” method. Imagine your future self, three years older and in the best place for yourself and your future children. Write down a description of what your future self is doing to make the world better and the kinds of people in your life. Write quickly without regard to syntax and spelling errors. Spend 15 to 60 minutes on this exercise. Revise this rough draft later if you like. This will give you a goal towards which you can progress. You will make errors in pursuing your goal. We all do. Forgive yourself and correct your course when you notice an error. Revise your goal if, after pursuing it, you realize that you want something better. You won’t know where you should be if you don’t know who you are.
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