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To manipulation the diametrically opposing value-set is within honesty, self- integrity/assertiveness and curiosity.

i.e. (a made-up example)

A: I think you should do this, not for me but because I know it is good for you and I love you.

B: That sounds good, it's just that I have doubts about it. Mainly it's because I'm not sure if it's universal for you too. Why didn't you apply it in your own life/allow people to act in this manner towards you? And I'm not blaming you or anything, it's just what you are saying I should do makes me uncomfortable. Can you provide objective proof?

A: Oh, I understand... Um... Er... you know, with me it's different, so different that it doesn't apply. Trust me, let me explain better what you should do, again.

B: Well, I don't think you are taking my ask. You don't have to but that means I should step over the doubts I have expressed. Sorry, I won't do that. I'm happy to discuss this topic when you respond to my previous questions. If you would like me to unpack my questions further, I can certainly do that too...

A: I'm sorry, you are too stubborn for your own good. I tried to help you but I can't if you don't let me...

B: I disagree but it is okay, we don't have to agree. Don't get me wrong, what you outlined at first sounds good, I just can't accept it without proofs and you not addressing my questions makes it at best unresolved, I'm the same doubtful still.

A: Yeah, well...

- parting -

The best guidance I have ever got came for me in my life so far from a book called Real Time Relationships, colloquially referred to as (RTR).

It's really more than a book, when you apply realisations you get while reading and take it to real life relationships, you'll see that they can be tested, evaluated truthfully. Very-very powerful stuff.

You can download it free, courtesy of the author.

If you think it has provided value, consider donating. I certainly do (but that's just me, you can decide it for yourselves).

Have real-time relationships, always!

Barnsley

p.s. (I don't have manipulators in my life, sure I stumble into them occasionally. What's better and proof enough for me, is that they either give up/escalate(helping me avoiding them) or they give me a wiiide berth. Oh, and one more thing. I have learned this skill by examining my own convictions and sticking to principles such as truth above anyone/anything else for me. Well, that is if I had to further simplify what I had already simplified.)

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