Darius
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A new article, where I comment on a response I got that argues yelling at your child is okay, even useful. In it, I explain why this is not the case, and analyze the response itself and how it reflects on the psyche of somebody who thinks this way. Response I received: "Not that I do not agree with any of this, but as a parent (and someone abused badly as a child--in most all ways), I can say some of it is ridiculous. I am sorry. Parents sometimes yell at their children. They get punished and disciplined as the situation dictates, and ALWAYS mine know why. The world is not going to be always empathetic to ones problems. There is not going to be people around to SOOTH them all their lives...sorry, but that is true. No, if my kid has a slight scrape I won't over indulge them (they are 10, 12, and 15) as they must learn to do it for themselves too. I am not abusive, but, as most parents will admit, I am not perfect. But, the world is not an empathetic place...by and large...they should not have to learn that the hard way. I do not beat, neglect, nor have scared my kids the way I have been. Seeing as I was abused, I do make en effort to do the best I can to not repeat. I agree everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect, but, people piss people off...and one should be able to correct a wrong and be heard...if yelling is needed to be heard...so be it! " Read my analysis here: http://blog.selfarcheology.com/2016/04/q-i-yell-at-my-children-and-they-will.html- 1 reply
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- child abuse
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My newest article about figuring out if your therapy is actually working for you or not. "Today’s question is extremely popular: I’m in therapy, and some people [my spouse, or parent, or friend, or coworker, or partner] say that it’s not working for me. I’m confused. Is it true?" Read it here: http://blog.selfarcheology.com/2016/04/q-is-therapy-working-for-me.html
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Should I Talk to My Parents About My Childhood Hurts? [article]
Darius replied to Darius's topic in Listener Projects
You're welcome, guys! -
A new article, where I answer a very common question: should I talk to my parents about my painful childhood experiences? Link: http://blog.selfarcheology.com/2016/03/q-should-i-talk-to-my-parents-about-my.html
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You're welcome, Abbie!
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A very important message regarding a painfully common misconception about having psychoemotional struggles, feeling unsure, being "weak," and looking for help.
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How NOT to Raise a Boy to Respect Women, Himself, or Anybody (article)
Darius replied to Darius's topic in Listener Projects
You're welcome, guys—and thanks for your feedback! -
I finally finished editing a new video on the topic of toxic behavior in relationships. Eventually, I decided to divide it into two videos based on the topics discussed there. I am very pleased with the final product, and I can definitely recommend it to anyone interested in the subject. In the first part, I talk about the origins and mechanism of toxic behavior in adult relationships. Questions explored here: How do most people choose their adult relationships? What are the traits they are looking for in others and why? Why do we sometimes treat our close ones worse than strangers? Why do we act out in our relationships in general? In part two, I look at the options available for someone who is in an abusive, unhappy, or dissatisfying relationship. How can a person resolve a situation where they are in such a relationship?
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- relationships
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A4E, thanks for the feedback, and please do
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Part three in my three-part article series on the voice of reason. "We’ve already established why and how disconnected people react when in confrontation with reality, and that in order to remain in denial and disconnection one has to ignore trauma and silence reason—that of other people and in themselves. Here, I will talk about the personal and social effects of being a voice of reason." Read more here: http://blog.selfarcheology.com/2016/02/silencing-voice-of-reason-part-3-pros.html
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I finished a new video on fake versus real curiosity in relationships, where I talk about about the differences between real and false curiosity in relationships, how "curiosity" can be used as a tool of manipulation, and possible problems related to it.
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- curiosity
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By the way, for those who are curious, the whole show can be found on YouTube:
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- compliance
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AcuuTron, I'm glad you found value in it! A4E, I see your point. I added Hypothetical example #1 and Hypothetical example #2 before the examples to create a bigger separation, and I changed the As and Bs in the second example to keep the consistency. It's a little unusual to start with a letter B but better than confusing people. Thanks for your feedback, A4E—it was really helpful.
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Part two in my three-part article series on silencing the voice of reason. "Having principles carries a lot of weight. Your thoughts and emotions dictate your behavior. So if you have a certain mindset, you will act in a certain way. When you live in a highly delusional and unprincipled society as ours, having principles and applying them consistently requires enormous inner strength and courage. Your life is different than that of most people; your priorities are different than most people’s; your relationships are different; you see things that other people don’t see. And when you describe those things, people who are highly invested in staying unprincipled and irrational—that is the majority of our population—get upset and unruly." Read more here: http://blog.selfarcheology.com/2016/02/silencing-voice-of-reason-part-2-values.html
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- virtue
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DCLuigi, this show was about compliance, to the degree of killing a person by pushing them off the roof.