NeoEclectic

Well the question isn't really about can we make him better. Instead it's trying to figure out how to get the truth to better understand the situation because right now a lot of people are about to turn their backs on him. What some of us are hoping is that he'll get diagnosed with some type of brain related issue and not that he's just a dumb ass. But if he turns out to be a dumb ass then is there a way we can figure out or help him figure out what's going on in his head so that we don't end up turning our backs on him.

For my nephew. This is going to be a long read so I apologize in advance. My 21-year-old nephew has been involved in a poisonous relationship with a 22-year-old single mother. Within weeks of having known this woman she got pregnant by him and she is currently 5 months pregnant. I won't get into too much detail about her other than to say that she's a horrible, rotten, person. Basically, she has been trying hard to fulfill this mythical, happy, family unit and is willing to do anything to attain it. She even have gone as far as to lie about being pregnant in order to coerce my nephew to have unprotected sex with her so that she could get pregnant. Yes, he was foolish for just taking her word for it but we're not talking about a rational man. But the pregnancy thing isn't what makes her into an evil and rotten person (though it contributes greatly). She has a very bad attitude and treats people poorly. She's been using her pregnancy as a weapon to control my nephew and a weapon to antagonize my family. There are a lot of other details such as trust issues, lying, and the likes but there's just too much to get into while concerning her. My focus is on my nephew. He is absolutely the most irrational and unintelligent person I have ever known. Trying to make sense of the decisions he makes is like trying to turn lead into gold. Even after repeated requests from his girlfriend to not contact her anymore he continually makes effort to contact her. And following each interaction is an explosive altercation that's filled with things that should never be said. She's reached the point of threatening legal action which would be very bad for him considering he's in the middle of litigation for a different, unrelated, matter. But he just won't give up. My concern is that he is deeply disturbed. Everyone had made attempts to reach out to him and he seems to be open and honest about his feelings and thoughts. But I have this underlying feeling that he is really being less than honest about most things. It's difficult to disprove much of the things he said because it's all anecdotal. But where I am concerned is that I believe he is trying very hard to become a father and this disturbs me deeply. In fact, I think he's trying so hard that it doesn't matter to him who the mother is he just wants that baby. It wasn't until a lot of thinking that I feel that there is evidence and a definite pattern that points to my conclusion. 1. I recall a discussion we had when he was 18 where he vehemently declared his desire to be a father. He went on to say things like how good of a father he would be and that he wanted to be a father soon. 2. He had gotten two other women pregnant previously and both women miscarried. Irresponsibility be damned his claim is that "rubbers keep breaking". But I find that very difficult to believe that one person can experience that many contraceptive failures within a very short time span. These other two pregnancies occurred with 1 year of one another. 3. He expressed an attraction towards single mothers. 4. He was in yet another relationship where the woman was pregnant by another man, but he wanted to assume the role of the father figure. He did this by attending all of the lady's doctor's appointments relating to her pregnancy and expressed interest in a long term relationship with her. There are some other, more subtle, clues as well. I find the idea to be perplexing but it seems like to me that the evidence is there. He didn't grow up without a father even though his parents divorced when he was 13. He spent an equal amount of time with mom and dad, and they constantly did activities together as a family even though his parents were divorced. They did it for his sake, and both parents are genuinely good friends and they support one another as such in all aspects of their lives. Yes, a divorce can be traumatic to a young person and he has stated thus. I can't put my finger on why he would be trying so hard to bring a new life into this world. Yes, it is his choice so to speak, but to be honest he's also probably the most irresponsible person I have ever known as well. Not to mention that the soon to be mother of his child is equally immature, irrational, and irresponsible. He just began receiving mental health treatment because there was enough in his behavior to suspect something isn't working out too well for him in that area. I think we're all hoping that he literally have a few screws loose upstairs as a way to explain his irrationality. But in the event that nothing can be diagnosed... how to I discover the heart of this matter with him? We've already grazed this subject before and I've opted for the direct method which what I always do. But we just didn't get anywhere with that discussions. Does he want to be a father so badly that he's willing to take poorly thought out risks to achieve it? And if so how do I get him to admit to it? I think it's important to know so that we can either understand the situation better or maybe have something to give to his doctor if they're looking for a diagnosis.

Your parents have power over you because they pay for your current living situation. There's only one thing to do to change that. Then maybe you don't have to suffer that kind of indignity anymore unless you needed a free meal because you're too broke to even take care of that.

I ran across this on Youtube. I think it's so telling about how people are brainwashed and fed answers at a very young age. And they just go on with life believing the stuff they've been spoon fed as children.

Maybe it's you?

Maybe you are fulfilling your purpose in life and just don't know it. Butterfly effect.

I don't build my friendships on the basis of political, social, or religious beliefs. Base them on common interests and a shared desire for fun and companionship. Only allow someone to build a relationship under the same premise. All else will fall into place. If I were getting married that would be a different matter. Of course, we would have to have some common beliefs in stuff like that.

Regardless of the motivation this just sickens me. Sure women have to carry a child for 9 months, but the fact that they think by relocating to a different jurisdiction will give them an edge... http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/12/09/21837016-olympic-skier-bode-miller-and-ex-come-to-agreement-in-battle-over-son?lite I've heard of this practice before and it makes me believe that there needs to be some kind of universal standard regardless of which state you live in. Father's parental rights are just being trampled.

There's no point in rehashing popularly common talking points in detail. If you don't understand irrationality in religion then there's no point in debating.

Religion is irrational and contradictory. Islam is a religion.

Good posts so far it's got me thinking a little but still hard to wrap my brain around. I understand there are distinctions within religions forming sub cults of varying degree of beliefs. But they all still share the core tenet that God is everything and God's will should not be opposed. Again it seems just like with their own religion they cherry pick ideas that are appealing to them even if it's in direct conflict with their own religious ideology. Let's take the some American Amish communities. They oppose technology as a core tenet of their existence yet they still use modern technology to assist them with their daily living. Such as it's illegal to own modern machinery such as tractors, saw mills, power tools, and etc. Yet they are allowed to use these items to enhance their lives and community so long as they don't personally own said technology which is a cop out in my opinion. I watched this special on TV discussing the Amish community. They had tractors, saw mills, power tools, automobiles, the whole nine yards on their property and using them all. But it was okay because they didn't technically "own" any of this stuff. They were simply "borrowing" it. Muslims oppose modern day medicines and cures yet Osama Bin Laden was receiving modern medical treatments for his illnesses. When someone gets sick they go to the hospital. They don't sit around and leave it up to prayer because they KNOW it doesn't work. They know prayer does not work! To me that is a direct contradiction to any religious person's beliefs. They don't want to leave it up to God because they know that there is no God listening that's going to cure them. Or maybe they do believe but know their God is a vengeful and uncaring God which is why he won't go out of his way to cure them. So then why would you want to worship a deity that will just let someone suffer then die?

Yes, that is why I stated theists and included that bit about Muslims at the very end. Thankfully, theists didn't have their way. Had they had their way we'd still be riding around on horses chucking spears at each other. At least that's what I believe. There wouldn't be things like cancer treatment, Internet, cell phones, fertility therapy, psychiatry, and possibly even free thinking philosophy. Religious zealots would have spent every moment of their lives fighting modernization and science. We've seen it throughout history and still witness examples of this type of ignorance in modern days. My assertion is that since they don't shun life enhancing advances that are the result of Science then in reality they're not as devout as they pretend, or just simply hypocrites which I feel disproves their belief system.

Let's assume that we're all familiar with the popular talking points about how God created everything and none of it needs to be questioned. My feeling is that if Christianity had its way with everything then we would still be in the stone ages technologically. There is very well documented evidence where Christians have attempted to suppress the truth of things that Science had revealed for centuries. So that gets me wondering a few things. It appears that Christians as a whole are anti-Science because every time a breakthrough is made through science it directly challenges the existence of God. So if that is the case then why do Christians openly participate and graciously accept the gifts from scientific discovery and invention? One example that comes to mind are Christian couples that will visit a fertility clinic in order to get pregnant. Shouldn't Christian logic suggest that if you're not able to conceive naturally that it's God's will and you're not supposed to have children? But instead they choose to go against the will of God and look to Science for help? The real kick in the teeth is if they do manage to get pregnant through the help of Science they will end up thanking God but not the doctor's and years of medical research that gave them a baby. Or the Christian cancer patient that goes to the hospital and begs medical Science for an extension on life. Shouldn't they just sit at home and pray instead of hypocritically seeking the help of that thing they despise? And I'm sure if the Christian cancer patient beats their cancer it's all because of God and not the Chemotherapy and radiation treatments they received that was developed from Science. The doctors, nurses, and pharmaceuticals be damned. It was all God; praise Jesus. But if that same Christian cancer patient dies most likely it's because it was the doctor's fault and so now it's time to sue. AND it was God's will that the patient was to die anyway so that they can be in Heaven with him. So if it was God's will all along then why did you even bother trying to fight the cancer in the first place? And if it was God's will that person should die from cancer I guess you can drop the lawsuit now right? With the Internet being widely available now theists and non theists alike are taking to Youtube to preach their particular beliefs. The thing that I keep wondering is why are bible thumping, science hating, Christians making videos and putting them up on Youtube. It was Science after all that allowed the Internet and Youtube phenomenon to happen in the first place. So shouldn't Christians fundamentally oppose technology created by Science and stay off of Youtube and the Internet? Recently there was a story about the Taliban kidnapping aid workers for administering the polio vaccine to children. I got to wondering why is it that the radically religious Muslims oppose modern medicines and cures but they have absolutely no problem with sporting AK-47s, RPGs, cell phones, and other modern weapons and conveniences. Help me out with this one. I'm interested in hearing the communities thoughts on this. Maybe I'm wrong.

I think that's terrible and irresponsible advice considering the current political and social climate of Mexico. That's all I'm going to say about that. Irrational people tend to be irrational regardless of what logical or wise words anyone has to say. Most only learn through failure while others will never learn. I've seen this behavior before in young girls that have had destructive family lives. In most cases, the father is absent and/or abusive to some degree. For example, I currently know of a girl called "L" that in desperation for love and admiration intentionally got pregnant twice hoping that having a baby will force the men to love her and to stay with her. Well, she was wrong both times and even still she's trying for a third time using the same tactic. L is currently 21 and neither father is in her life or the lives of her children. She's convinced that if she continues with the same tactic that eventually she'll get what she wants. Quite sad really. Your friend needs help of the professional kind. She also needs support and love. I've seen presenting people with a "2nd" option sometimes have an effect, or presented with a different example.

To start I've dated a girl I met over the Internet for 5 years. And I mean actually dated. I have 3 friends that met their spouses online and they're all still married with families. I'm just throwing that out there to point out that these kind of relationships can be successful though still not completely accepted as a social norm. There are communities of people where these ideas are accepted and considered common so think about that for a moment. If you're in an environment where you feel this is not something you can overcome then you either dump her, move, or just accept the criticism.