First time to post, but I've been following and listening and thinking since 2006
What follows isn't a feel-good 'hello, this is my story' brief, rather, it's a part of the issue at hand...
My wife and I've been married 3 years now - we have two daughters, one of whom was already one year old when I met my wife (now almost 8), and one who was born almost a year ago, and is my first child. As the last year has passed, I've become increasingly driven to ensure that NE (the almost-one-year-old) doesn't grow up with any religious (mis)beliefs... When my wife and I decided to get married, I forewarned her that I cannot accept any religious influence on our children, to which she agreed with words to the effect of 'we'd both be free to express our opinions to our children, with the qualification that they are accompanied with a disclaimer of 'this is belief only, not fact, you decide'. So, that sounded fine to me, and indeed I was quite happy with that, given that my wife was from a strict (and prominent) catholic family, and I was previously somewhat concerned that she would have a hard time putting it to the side to the extent that would be required to serve the interests of our children. It's perhaps not my primary concern whether or not my wife is religious, rather to ensure that the children don't get raised 'religious(ly)'. My wife is old enough to make her own decisions, but I won't accept cruelty against my children.
So, here's the problem - since the 'we'll present statements as belief only, not fact' agreement, she has been able to satisfy that condition to the extent of convincing me so when we've discussed it, but she seems also to have been able to express her beliefs and frame them as truth to our eldest daughter, who is now nearly 8 years old, and who now seems to 'believe in god' but want to hide it from me, which of course leads me to believe that there have been quiet chats to the effect of 'listen, god IS real, but don't tell your father because he's a heathen... just pray for him'. Our eldest hasn't had much involvment from anyone outside our family who is religious (no grandmother, etc), because until just a few months ago we had mostly lived in a third country (not her place of birth, and not my place of birth) where neither of our in-laws or extended families were around, save for the occasional visit. So, I suggest that any religous influence would have come from my wife - unless of course 8 year old girls really love to believe fairy-tales enough so as to really *believe* them.
In the interest of guiding the responses to this issue, and without any derogatory intent to my wife (obviously, because she's my wife) I must point out that my wife isn't 'an intellectual'. She just accepts things the way they are, and is quite happy to do so... which makes an intellectual discussion about religion, or indeed anything else, an impossibilty (as though it wasn't hard enough already to objectively discuss religion with religious folk!).
Indeed the title of this post, upon reflection, is probably not accurate - I suppose I don't really care to convert my wife (though it would be a nice bonus); all I care to do is make sure that NE doesn't get raised religiously, in the way that our eldest seems to have been brainwashed already... When it comes to religion I've probably given up on the eldest already, because the look in her eyes when the topic is discussed tells me that it's past the point of no return. In a harsh moment of self reflection I considered whether or not I've given up on her cause so easliy because she's not 'my blood', considering in contrast how driven I've become to ensure that NE, who is at the age already where she is starting to record her earliest foundations of thought and memory, doesn't meet the same disaster. In any case, whatever the reasons, those are my 'feelings' on the issue.
So, the real question... how to save my dear almost-one-year-old NE from religious interference? Nothing is off the table - please hit me with anything, however, I'd really prefer to avoid having to weigh whether I value my daughters freedom from religion more than I value my marriage... that could be a rather difficult one
