Kaki

My therapist currently has two spots available, so I thought I recommend her here. I am doing IFS-therapy since about one and a half years and can not speak highly enough of her. I am aware that finding a therapist is a very individual thing, so take my opinion with a grain of salt. Before working with her I searched for a therapist for a long time and spoke to a good dozen different therapists without finding someone I was comfortable with. I know that it takes a while to find someone who is not only great but also a great match. Here some reasons why I highly recommend her : She is not religious and not "spiritual", but rational and consistent. She has over 20 years of experience with clients and has done the work in therapy herself. She is empathic, honest, patient, curious and kind. In working with her she always had my back and I always feel respected and taken care of. While I have been ( and am) working through some quite heavy subjects with her, there are always some lighthearted, humorous moments in our sessions. It feels good to me to be able to share my tears as well as a laugh with her. She has always been very flexible if something came up between our sessions, if I needed more or less time and if it was necessary to move our appointments. She is offering sessions through Skype and has reasonable rates (even a sliding scale). By the way, doing therapy through Skype has never been a problem for me and working with her was for me the best decision I ever made. If you are interested in giving her a try, write me a pm and I send you the contact information!

Concerning the Nordic mindset this might be interesting as well: We have here in the North something called the Jantelagen- or "Law of Jante". It comes from a Danish book and describes the expected group behavior in Nordic societies: the group is all and individual success is something to be condemned. Here are the ten (eleven) rules: You're not to think you are anything special. You're not to think you are as good as we are. You're not to think you are smarter than we are. You're not to convince yourself that you are better than we are. You're not to think you know more than we do. You're not to think you are more important than we are. You're not to think you are good at anything. You're not to laugh at us. You're not to think anyone cares about you. You're not to think you can teach us anything. Perhaps you don't think we know a few things about you? Even if this isn't really a set of laws, it sneaks in everywhere and people do actually very much live by it.

I know about this (unfortunately in German- but maybe someone can help you! Here is the English abstract: Also maybe interesting is this. This link brings you to a study about: "Prevalence of and factors associated with non-partner rape perpetration: findings from the UN Multi-country Cross-sectional Study on Men and Violence in Asia and the Pacific" Here is a quote from it under the title Interpretations: I don't have much time right now but I will see if I can find more later!

I second that! I'd love to see an interview with her on FDR!

So, if you go buy a burger, how do you know the person making the burger and taking your money actually owns the right to sell the burger and has the right to take your money for it? Do you usually ask the cashier in the supermarket for her papers, contracts etc. before you buy something - just to make sure she was given the right to sell something to you? Seriously, how do you live your life if this is a concern of yours?

The owner has the right over his property and can for example remove people from his restaurant. Since he has the right over his own property he can also put someone in charge to act in his stead. (He pays someone to "manage his property".) The roofing team probably has a contract with the owner about fixing the roof, not about managing the place. Therefore non of them have the right to act in stead of the owner. Why would they have that right? Carrey in your example mentions "some guy in uniform" which makes me think she is reminded of the police. The police are indeed most of the time just "guys in uniform, claiming to be imbued with higher powers". They claim to have rights which no one else has and which can't possibly be transferred to them by others (who do actually own those rights). For example: We don't have the right to demand a certain percentage of other people's income and put them in cages if they don't pay. The police though arbitrarily claims to have this right. If I have a right, I can also transfer it to someone else. If I don't have that right I can't give it to anyone else. Let's say my wallet is stolen, I then have the right to take it back from the thief. But if the thief is much stronger than I am, I can also put someone else in charge to get my wallet back. On the other hand I don't have the right to lock you in my basement if you smoke a plant I happen to dislike. Therefore I can also not put anyone else in charge to lock you up. The manager can make use of the property rights and remove an unpleasant costumer if necessary because he was given the right by someone who legitimately owns it.

Kevin, I have been watching the videos you posted earlier and I am really impressed by how fast the quality is improving! The way you are speaking here is engaging, funny and your body language feels much more natural now compared to the first video. I also very much like the fact that you use pictures, clips and are not shying away from acting . I am really looking forward to future videos! Everyone, this is a channel to keep an eye on!

Maybe you guys want to see another take on it: here is what Adam Kokesh has to say about the movie!

I find this very interesting and very strange. I wonder if this app, over a longer period, could help people to monitor themselves instead of relying on an external source to tell them how they feel or if it would achieve the opposite. I like the idea of people questioning their relationships based on how it makes them feel. It sounds strange to me though that instead of trying to practice how to sharpen your own gut feeling and emotional observation skills, this app does it all for you without any encouragement how to learn it yourself. It seems to me like an app that tells you if you are hungry or an app that tells you if you are tired. Maybe this is really helpful to begin with to get people focus more on their emotions. It would be very scary though if people who are used to the app would rely even more on it than before. I certainly would not want to outsource the job of observing my emotions, like Stef says, this is a muscle which needs to be trained.

Have you considered looking for a therapist who offers Skype sessions? I have experience with therapy over Skype and I think it works very well. While it is not the same as meeting someone in person it is, in my opinion, still far more productive to talk to someone who is great, through Skype rather than someone in person who is merely so-so.... The relationship you have with your therapist is extremely important. You can only grow as far as your therapist has grown and you might lose money, time and possibly trust in therapy as well as in yourself, when working with someone who you don't really feel is the right one. I can only speak for myself, I would not be comfortable working with a therapist who believes in god, this carries far too much baggage I am not willing to confront myself with. (I should mention as well, I do not even have a bad history with religion like you, I don't really have a history with religion at all). I can of course not tell you what the right thing to do is but if I was in your position I would trust my guts. I just typed "Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy" and Skype into google and got quite a few hits. Many therapists offer a free 20min consultation, others you have to pay for from the first session on. Before you make a decision you could just have a look around and maybe talk to someone else to get a feeling for what options you have.

The format is great! Otherwise I completely agree with RJ: A picture on the side matching the subject would be great as well as titles for the segments. I am not a fan at all of the street and music. The music reminds me very much of 80s comedy shows. (But maybe that's just me.) The theme of traffic-time-lapse is lost on me as well. To me it feels like a very forced way to separate the segments from each other, the film styles (Stef presenting and the stock footage of cars) are so different that they don't flow into each other naturally. Maybe there is a way to use images (like RJ suggested next to Stef) to create a transition.

I have experienced that the more self-knowledge both males and females bring to the relationship the more equal they are in what they provide (in terms of empathy, curiosity, rationality etc.). Isn't it the case that the more virtuous you are the more you will be looking for someone who is similarly virtuous while traits which are considered typically male and typically female take a backseat? I would assume that women looking for men who are: "tall, strong and funny" are probably not bringing much self-knowledge into the relationship themselves, just like men don't, who look for women who are mainly hot. If one doesn't bring much in terms of self-knowledge it is easy to fall back to stereotypes, that would be my guess at least.

I don't know about the word "better" here. As far as I have understood it, UBP describes: that what is objectively required to attain a certain goal, therefore should be preferred, but is not necessarily preferred by people. (Please correct me if I got it wrong!) Here is the relevant quote from UPB: By the way, I agree, this is brilliant that you do the translation! Kudos! Is there someone who has thought of or has already started translating it into German? I'd be interested to hear how one would translate "preferable" to German!

I found this discussion helpful. The topic in question here was "How would one know when to choose 'preferred' or 'preferable'?"

hahahaha AynRand that is hilarious!!