Chris Harris

Thanks for the information, every little bit helps!

My friend and I are thinking about renting a car and driving out to Libertopia (San Diego) from Texas. The reason I am posting this is that I am wondering if anyone would like to join us. I ask this since if we have more people along for the ride, we can lessen how much we each spend in travel and lodging. You don't have to live in Texas, but you do need to live between Texas and California. Our route is open to discussion depending on who wants to join and where they live as well as the prices for transportation and lodging. I just recently heard about Libertopia from a post here, and I have never been myself so this will be my first time going though I have driven to San Diego before. Feel free to message me for more information or any questions if you don't want to reply to the post. I am open to discussing this on Skype as well so there can be a meeting with everyone involved and we can get to know each other better. I hope to hear from you!

Hello everyone, I just found out that my sister is pregnant recently and I have been looking for some good information/resources about peaceful parenting. She is very interested in raising her future child peacefully since we did not have a good or peaceful childhood ourselves and we can see how that affected us. I am not sure if this thread already exists but I would like to know where y'all find your information concerning peaceful parenting and if there are any specific books/websites that are really good sources of information. Along with this I was wondering if anyone knew some good information/sources for managing the stress and emotions that come along with pregnancy for both the mother and the father. I think if they are stressed as little as possible it will be a more affectionate environment for the baby. Thanks in advance!

Thanks for sharing the video Adrienne, it seems like its going to be an interesting documentary? when done. In my experience it seems that even now I have an incentive to "wear a mask" when out in public or around people I don't know. While FDR and the community here have helped me to see the usefulness of taking that mask off around people, it seems that its so ingrained from the past that I either can't take it off or simply don't know how for a majority of my experiences. I am wondering if anyone thinks its useful to get rid of the mask altogether? In my opinion I'm not sure if it is considering the society we live in. Also I would like to share an experience that goes along with what Kevin Beal was saying. In middle school I remember being attracted to a few girls that were in the "popular" group. I myself was always seen as a geek or unpopular by others. I remember being scared to death to even talk to those girls for fear of being made fun of for showing I have an interest in them. I knew that girls often talk behind others backs and spread rumors (I have a sister so I could see that side semi-clearly) and that terrified me that they would put me down for being vulnerable. Though that was a big fear for me, what I was most afraid of was being picked on by the other boys. Since girls can flay you emotionally, boys can do so both emotionally and physically (though maybe they are less adapt at the emotional part). So to me it seems the "wearing of the mask" is a co-operative effort from both boys and girls, they reenforce it for each other. This is my experience so I don't know how accurate it is for others. Also I agree that the most humiliating experiences i have had have come from women, though I'm not sure if that was because of my situation at home that conditioned me to feel less safe/secure around women or was due to the situation. An idea I had was that it could be due in part to the differences of what men want out of a relationship with both men and women. For the most part, men want to be friends with other men but not a romantic relationship. Because of this men might be better able to handle the difficulties faced with other men since the relationship they are trying to cultivate is not as important. With a women, men want to have a closer more romantic relationship that will last (ideally) for the rest of their lives, this could lead to more pressure being put on the man and could influence the interaction and how it is perceived. I don't know if that is very clear since I am having a hard time sorting it out in my own mind and trying to find the right words for it, but that is a thought that came to my mind. Again thanks for sharing your experience Kevin and thanks for posting the video!

Wow that is a really good analysis of the situation, one that I haven't been able to see (or have skirted around) until you pointed it out so thank you Ribuck! I think this helps explain why (like Wuzzums said) women tend to string the guys along that are in the friend zone. I have had an experience like that and I remember the girl said those exact things "you're such a nice guy" and "why can't i find a guy like you" and I replied with well I'm right here and she just laughed it off. She wanted all the benefits that came with courting without a romantic relationship or a reciprocal friendship. Incidentally that behavior is what led me to question her character, since it seems sadistic (might be a bit harsh) to say that to someone when you know their intentions/desires.

I agree with you, the beginning of the comic was pretty funny though it devolved into both people attacking each other verbally and emotionally which kind of shows that its acceptable to act in that why when something like that happens. One person must be the "winner" or dominate the interaction. It would have been nice if around the middle when the friend-zone part happened if there could have been something like a Socratic dialogue or a different method that doesn't seem to retreat into the same "guys vs girls" type fight that can be seen in a lot of things.

Who's throwing out loaded words? Not one person here has said anything like that though you are the one to bring it up and say it. It has been said that people in the military are either murderers or accomplices to murder, which can be demonstrated so they are not "loaded" since they accurately describe the situation.

I have had experience with the military myself (regrettably) and in my experience the people that inhabit that organization are sociopaths/psychopaths/corrupt. The cycle of abuse was very apparent to me, the people who don't have power are abused by those who do, then when those people who were abused get power they normalize the abuse and then perpetuate it onto others. I saw this and it cause me not to want to use power justly but to never have power at all. This topic is something I have been wrestling with everyday since I left the military is that I was an accomplice to murder. The fact that you call yourself a necessary evil is worrying to me since there was nothing necessary about being in the military. I personally was feed bullshit that influenced my choice to join (this might be similar to you), then when I was in I saw the "true face" of the military and it nearly destroyed me. I, as you say, also didn't want to hurt anyone and when really saw that's all the military does (both internally and externally) I wanted to get out as soon as possible. The fact that you stayed in is also worrying to me since that means you were (at some level, consciously or unconsciously) ok with what the military was doing. It sounds to me like you are trying to rationalize your choice to be in the military without actually processing what your function in that organization was. "If I received orders to do something I know to be wrong I would not comply." I think the "order" to say in an organization that's facilitating the death of innocent people is something that has been shown to be wrong.

Hey Victor, let me commend you on the progress you have made so far, congratulations! I participate in a Skype call every Saturday with some really good people (https://plus.google.com/u/0/communities/105784012586757265988) that you are more then welcome to join. Along with that if you would like to ever talk to someone through Skype, I would be more than willing to chat with you sometime (my Skype handle is ChaosOrdered). If neither of those options appeal to you, I wish you the best of luck on your journey and hope you can find some people locally!

I would like to put some input into the conversation. When I first heard about these types of knowledge, mathematics was one of the examples listed as a priori. To me this does not seem to be the case since in order to develop mathematics we require two things, our mind and our senses. Our mind is that which derives mathematics from our sensual experience. One way I think about it (please let me know if this is helpful) is that numbers themselves do not exist within reality but what does exist are discrete individual objects. So mathematics must have been created by our mind (most likely to classify and group individuals) in order for us to conceptually categorize objects that we perceive. This is in line with what dsayers was mentioning when he(?) talked about everything being derived from sensual experience. Even though once the logic/method of mathematics is discovered, it becomes independent of experience, it was first derived from sensual experience. To help back this up (this is not very scientific since it can't be verified though I hope it helps) if we were somehow a consciousness without a body and senses, mathematics (along with logic and most everything else) would be of no use to us at all since we would have no need to classify objects which we can never experience. I hope this makes sense and was not just a restatement of what has already been said.

This is a very interersting way to approach "discipline" and I am gald to hear that it worked for you! I have been wondering how dealing with children when they are "misbehaving" would be acomplished through peaceful parenting (I don't have any kids so I can't see it first hand) since it seems the main approach/focus is to prevent rather than to fix. I am wondering how old is she and how did she respond when you withheld enthusiasm? Other than the fact that she stopped doing the action, did she have an emotional reaction that was visable? I am wondering because it would be my inclination to try and reason with her after that (as might be yours judging by your last comment) but that might not have even been necessary depending on the level of trust between yall or due to her being at a young age. This also leads me to think that if you do an action without properly explaining it, it might just be the child sees you as the authority figure and stops because you are the more powerful rather than because you truely care and empathize (I am not trying to say that is what happened, just thats something that comes to my mind). Thought a thought just came to me that maybe since I have not been subjected to much just authority, my vision or understanding of authority would differ from someones who sees authority welded just on a consistent basis. If this is true then if a child that is obeying someone because they have just authority would be fine, and since they know what authority "should" look like they would be able to spot unjust authority. Hopefully that makes sense and I haven't run around in circles too much. To conclude, I would like to commend you on your treatment of the situation and it sounds like it was a proper course of action too me since no violence or manipulation was used.

You have my sympathy, that sounds like a difficult situation to be in. What is interesting to me is that you said when she came downstairs after her bath she said she doesn't know why she can't say shes doing something at the moment instead of blowing up. Though later when yall had the conversation about how you feel invisible she said that whens shes completely focussed on something she needs to come off her surfboard to even hear you and that you are the one who has to go and physically touch her. This seems like a bit of a contradiction to me, first she says she can hear you but just chooses not to respond then later she almost makes it sound as if its involuntary and she can't even hear you. Also the why she suggests that this is fixed is for YOU to be the one to deal with it and change your behavior instead of her which sounds a bit sketchy to me and makes me think that shes still kind of not taking your feelings or thoughts into consideration, though I might be mistaken. On a different note, one thing that came to mind when you said that your mom doesn't like podcast and enjoys a more hands on approach was that maybe you could find a podcast/video that you really enjoy that talks about some of these issues and you could turn it into a bit of a workshop. Like maybe put on the podcast/video and whenever a topic you would really like to address comes up you could do an exercise together so she could see the connection between the principle and how its used/displayed. I know this requires a good amount of effort from your part and you might not feel like its worth it but it was something that came to mind, and if you have already tried that disregard this second part . Anyways I hope either the situation improves for you or you reach a point to where you are no longer constrained by your financial situation and can leave the environment.

I am almost at a loss for words my friend... that sounds like a truly awful set of experiences and you have my sympathy. Also let me commend you for how far you have come despite the terrible circumstances you were brought up, your strength and courage is astounding. I agree that you should get out of there as soon as possible since being that near to known corruption (let me just say evil) might cause you to manifest/perpetuate some of the traits you have listed. Along with that I would recommend that when your financial situation improves to find a good therapist and try to work through some of the problems you want to move past. I know these are kind of generic answers but I think a good therapist is the best person to help you in this situation.

I have had a similar experience. I used to like movies and TV, though I was not a movie buff, but after finding philosophy I can't really watch either anymore. The characters and how they are portrayed is what really made me not want to watch either movies or TV, but I think i have seen it more in TV. It seems to me that a lot of the characters that people find good, heroic, or funny are really not that great of people and they display little to no virtue in their actions. This also happened with comedians for me as well. I used to love watching comedians but whenever I do so lately all I see is abused children trying to normalize their abuse through laughter rather than trying to move past it. I don't think every comic does this, but a good amount of the ones I have seen do. I also used to be an avid video game player and while I will still enjoy and play some games its either out of habit or because I want to have fun with some friends and they also play games. I think what a person said earlier on this thread is true for me, that once I started to journey down the road of philosophy the veil on popular culture was lifted and I didn't like what I saw. Thank you all for sharing your experiences on this topic, I have been wondering if anyone else had a similar reaction.

Nice thread and some good songs so far, I would like to add two to the list. Rock the Casbah - The Clash Here are a few lines of the lyrics By order of the prophetWe ban that boogie soundDegenerate the faithfulWith that crazy Casbah soundBut the Bedouin they brought outThe electric camel drumThe local guitar pickerGot his guitar picking thumbAs soon as the shareefHad cleared the squareThey began to wail ... The king called up his jet fightersHe said you better earn your payDrop your bombs between the minaretsDown the Casbah wayAs soon as the shareef wasChauffeured outta thereThe jet pilots tuned toThe cockpit radio blareAs soon as the shareef wasOutta their hairThe jet pilots wailed I like this song because it talks about a fictional time/place where the shareef (king) outlaws music because he thinks it subverts his rule. The second song is a bit different in tone but great none the less. Pet - Perfect Circle Don't fret precious I'm here, step away from the window Go back to sleep Lay your head down child I won't let the boogeyman come Counting bodies like sheep To the rhythm of the war drums Pay no mind to the rabble Pay no mind to the rabble Head down, go to sleep To the rhythm of the war drums Pay no mind what other voices say They don't care about you, like I do, like I do Safe from pain and truth and choice and other poison devils, See, they don't give a fuck about you, like I do. Just stay with me, safe and ignorant, Go back to sleep Go back to sleep I like this song because it talks about war and how we are sedated to accept and condone this happening, I think the last lines I posted help illustrate that. I hope yall enjoy these songs!

Welcome to the community Mikey! I am overjoyed to hear of your curiosity in these ideas, and that you have others that you can talk to about these topics. I am curious myself to what type of medium you use for your artistic endeavors? Do you draw, paint, or maybe engineer things? I have seen a few people who are part of this community use Kickstarter to get their projects going so that might be a way to see if your hobby can become a career. Anyways I hope you enjoy all the wisdom this community has to offer, I know it has and continues to help me!

The first question she asked was why did i go from calling often to almost never calling and thats when i told her the truth, that i would like a break from family. From there the questions receded into reason why i should not do this or how it is unfair to both of us.

I just had an interesting conversation with my mother regarding our relationship. She called today wondering why we have not been talking much recently and I finally felt confident enough to ask for some time off, not just with her but with all of my family. She seemed to take this personally and accused me of being selfish along with arguing that I cannot analyze the relationship between us without involving her. She also repeatedly said that she is not the same person she used to be and that I am just looking at the past her which is not fair to her. I have some mixed feelings regarding this and when the conversation ended she was very upset and seemed to feel that I am getting vengeance on her for what she has done in the past. I do not think that I am trying to be vengeful but I am trying to find out what will make me happy and how (if at all) our relationship can continue or become better since it is not satisfying for either of us. I have mixed feelings because I am proud that I was able to stand my ground and keep calm during this conversation but I also feel worried about what will happen to her since she seemed distraught and is somewhat isolated. I also feel that maybe I am being selfish but that does not seem to be the case since I am just telling her what I am going to do with my own life and I am not asking anything of her except to respect my decision. I also tried to help her see that this is can be a good thing since it might lead to us having an actual relationship rather than just the appearance of one. In short, I am just wondering if what I did was the right thing to do and if I am being unfair to her since that is not my intention. If anyone could give me some advice, I would very much appreciate it since this is all very new to me. Thank you all for listening.

I hope the treatment works and you get better quickly. Thank you for the work you have done so far and the work you surely will continue to do, your courage and outlook is inspiring.

Im glad the swim didnt discourage you, now turn those fins to feet and get on up here! [] Welcome!

Im glad you choose to not go into the national guard, im pretty sure it would have been terrible for you. What made me get into the military in the first place was, like you, i was in a very, very dark place and had an great deal of rage and hate inside me. I was also into the notion of honorable combat and always yearned to experience it. This was compounded by the fact that my father was a military man (navy, same branch i joined) and he filled me full of lines like; " the military is one big family" and "you will met the best type of people that will stay your friends for life". This appealed to me because i was always the outcast of the family (and school for that matter) and i never felt like i had many friends (or family for that matter) that acually cared for me or liked me for who i was (though i was in the process of destorying my true self and becoming a nihilist). I can remember that from a very young age all i wanted in life was to be good and to love and be loved in return, like acually loved not just told i was loved. Since that never really happened i began to hate myself and all around me. The military sounded like a welcome reprieve and the "honor" part sounded like a bonus, since i was always fascinated with samurai and their code of honor. Now i know that is not truely what honor is, but a twisted reflection of it (those mirrors at carnivals come to mind). That, in a nutshell, is what ended up driving me into the iron grip of the military. I do think i changed a bit while in the military, i remember thinking if i had to push a button to launch a missle, could i do it? The answer i found was no, i could never live with myself knowing i just killed possbily hundreds of people by simply pushing a button. I don't have the fountainhead but my friend is going to let me borrow his copy of atlas shrugged, if the fountainhead sets the stage for atlas then i might have to get that one first. Thanks for the recommendation!

Wonderful introduction and, again, glad to have you here!

Oh nice, i have driven to Shreveport a few times and i have to say that its way to humid (for me) in the suimmer. Tylers not to far from me, im right around Denton acually. I can now begin to see why you didn't like it there, sounds like your style would not be very welcome in a small town, but im glad its better for you now even if its only a little bit. Oh sounds very interesting indeed. Im not super far into the podcast series just because i cant stand to listen or read stuff out of order, what if i miss an important topic! Haha, but that does sound familar. In a sunday show i listened to there was a man who talked about the inner narrative or story we tell ourselves and i thought it was an very interesting idea. Now im excited to hear about this, sounds like a journey worth taking.

Thank you for the kind words, to be honest ever since i was in boot camp i wanted to leave but i just felt there was no turning back or no way out (they kind of beat that into you). I knew something was very wrong with the people around me, especially those in power, but you end up bonding with others as a way to mutually cope with the abuse everyone is experiencing. I was fed the illusion that the military is one big family and that your all brothers, but that is lie. Those in power got there by putting up with abuse so when they finally get the power they want, they use it to abuse others just as they were and its a never ending vicious circle. As time went on I became more depressed and finally got to the point where I resented waking up and (I do not mean to be morbid but it's the truth) wished everyday for death. I was able to get out when I finally told someone about what i was feeling and of course everyone around just looked at me as crazy and weak (the main reason I didn't share my feelings or really allow myself to feel much). However, i count that as the best choice I could have made in that situation, and luckily I never directly caused the death of anyone or I don't think i could have become to person I am becoming. I do count it as the worst part of my life and when I was getting out I knew that literally anything would be better than that. I don't mean to any of this to get pity or anything, I just want people to know how terrible of a place it is to be. I have had a few people who are about to go into the military ask me how it was and every time I try as hard as possible to persuade them not to go and to leave while they still have a chance. Thank you for listening and the welcome. I also read your introduction and found that much of what you said resonated with me as well. I have not yet gotten to reading any of Ayn Rand's books but it's something I will defiantly have to put time aside to read. I'm sorry that you had to go though such a period of isolation but I am overjoyed you have finally found a place where you're not alone. So welcome aboard as well!

Howdy! I was also born and raised here for the most part, and i have found that its not to bad of a place to be if you find some decent people to associate with (though i must admit its a difficult search). Thank you for the advise, i have found that at least trying to live these principles has brought me a measure of happiness that others can clearly see. Hopefully that can be at least a building block for them to realize what these ideas can do. How are you liking the change of scenary (not living in Texas) so far?