Hello,
I've had this account for a while now, but I have yet to post anything. I would like to see if anyone has any insight or experience regarding my current situation. I hope this is the right sub-forum.
I work for a large company with about 8,000 employees worldwide as a Software Engineer. I've been here for over six years now. I have amazing benefits, a six figure salary, and a respectful position and title. I love and work only a few miles apart. When I first got this job, right out of college, I was completely ecstatic. I couldn't even imagine being where I am now. I get to use my skills and work on interesting projects for a company with a recognizable name. But, all I think about is how badly I want to leave. And this feeling grows more and more, every day. I don't want to do this anymore. The work is not really all that hard and it's difficult to figure out what my problem is. I find that I become the most frustrated when I notice that I work with a lot of people who seem to be very skilled at coming up with work for me, but not really producing much themselves. It seems that one can get rewarded by simply "driving" a project. However, if I attempt to drive a project, I will also have to design and develop all the parts while others only need to come up with ideas and ask pertinent and obvious questions in meetings.
I did quite well here for a while. I got outstanding reviews and numerous raises and praise, but my lack of enthusiasm and constantly growing desire to quit has recently lead to me being passed up for a promotion. I think the truth is, my growing lack of enthusiasm isn't really that. It's more of me become more jaded and unwilling to appear enthusiastic.
I'm 31 now, but ever since I was 11, what I really wanted to do was to run my own company. I think this probably has a lot to do with how I feel about my current job. I wanted to build and run something amazing. But, I don't take the necessary steps. There are many fears I need to overcome. I'm really not too concerned about the skills required, because I believe I either already posses them or I'm confident in my ability to quickly learn or adapt. Working in technology entails an inherent constant process of learning. What I do fear are things like:
Is giving up the cushy position I have now a bad idea?
I've been single for quite some time and would really like to meet someone. Would I be sabotaging myself with the amount of work required to start a business?
What if I fail?
I may have the technical, leadership, etc. skills, but what if that's not enough?
Will I be setting myself back in life?
Will an attractive women love me if I lose too much in a pursuit for my dream?
Thank you for reading all of this. Let me know if something is not clear.