stMarkus

Interesting thoughts. Personal experience coupled with self knowledge and therapy provides a valuable insight.

"This is not a phenomenon that effects men in general." So these men with more money than brains are just stupid. No relation to them being raised by the same kind of women that eventually "rinse" them in their adulthood. The fact that their brains and souls get fucked up by predatory women in their childhood is irrelevant and we should only focus on how stupid they are in their adulthood. Really? I'm not saying these adult men are not responsible for their actions but my reason for posting this video is to consider this issue with a little more insight than "That man is acting stupidly therefore he is very stupid and ignorant (also implying that it's his fault)." This reasoning reminds me the mindset behind behaviorism in which the substance of human mind is irrelevant in comparison to observable behavior. You know, the same behaviorism whose theory is used in schools and the military to condition human beings into robots. Can you be sure you wouldn't have turned out the same way had you experienced the same things these men went through?

Kindly explain your position so I could refute it or agree with it.

The older one, Jeanette, who studies forensic psychology, also has children. Two boys. The children are not featured in the documentary, it's just briefly mentioned. Can you provide a time estimate of when this documentary is discussed in the call in show, Mike?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACJ7-_G16G0 2 out of 3 rinsers presented are single mothers...

Thanks for the recommendation, seems worth reading.

Holy shit, good luck! I might be moving to the UK too in the near future. Hope you find some great friends and a great job.

My soul hurts. In a sarcastic way.

A spouting rant of self-righteous exclamation. I.e. the usual feminist codswallop.

Interview with the mom, Toya Gragam, a single mom of six children, and her son. She also recently found herself unemployed. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbDcDaNJ7eo

So Louis CK's show Louie. I've always felt icky about this show and about some of his stand-up material. Especially in Louie he portrays himself as a clueless fat slob who's always abused by his dates or girlfriends. In one episode his female date rapes him in a car. I'm not sure what to make of this but I know I feel wrongly about it. Even though it's supposed to be dark humor. In Louis CK's private life according to him his ex-wife was incapable of holding a job even as a waitress so I assume his wife leeched off his money for years as they raised their children.

Good stuff. Good luck everyone with these difficult issues.

The adult female perspective part rings some bells for me, this is something I needed to hear, thank you. My mother has serious attachment issues as she never met her father. And her husband, my father, didn't satisfy her emotional needs so she used me as a substitute. I haven't spoken to my parents for some years, by the way, and have no intention of doing it in the future. To everyone else who replied to this topic, I appreciate your posts. I read everything you wrote and tried to process it but it was a lot to take in at once and I just ended up feeling confused and disconnected.

What about my post gives you this feeling? I'm not sure I understand what you're trying to say in your premise or how you came to the conclusion.

You are right. I need to share this with a person. Best option would most likely be a therapist. I did therapy for 6 months and then I ran out of money. I'll return to it sometime in the future. I feel though that this problem would need to be addressed with a therapist before engaging with intimate relationships. The unfulfilled love thing is still there with a potential to destroy any future relationships. This is the dilemma that is alerting me in my dreams. I think. I mean I wouldn't want to count on other people to solve these kinds of deep problems for me. Other than therapists that is. Do you have experience engaging deep problems in a relationship. How did it go?

I recently recognized this sharp contrast in me of what I generally feel in the present and what is possible if not for some enormous burden that I carry. My attention to this was brought through a dream where I was experiencing this sense of safety and love that was somehow connected to my family. This state I was in made me realize how torturous my past existence had been and I started crying out of sadness for the pain of wasted life and potential that could have been realized if only I hadn't been forced to carry that burden. This was an incredibly sad experience and I thought if only I could have reached this sense of safety earlier, my life would not have been wasted this much. Although I actually attributed the responsibility of my reaching this state to my mother. Thus I was also blaming my mother for not doing this earlier. Now back to waking life. I am certainly aware of there being a hole in me or something that actively keeps me from being the person I feel I could be. There is a lot of shame and pain around this area and exploring it further is not something my emotional brain would even consider at this point. A sense of fear and foreboding surfaces when I'm observing this issue in my mind. There is a feeling of no matter what I would do, there is no way that I could ever do anything about this problem and so I will always remain broken. A kind of forbidden area inside me that doesn't even belong to me so I have no business of trying to deal with it or engage with it. Coming from this there is a lot of pain that I carry around but the pain is deep inside and it appears I would need to feel a sense of safety before I could really feel this pain. One way that I would describe this sense of safety in words would be the feeling that whatever I do, I will always be loved and so this most important thing will always remain there for me. Hence a situation of no danger for losing the most important thing in life. This, I think, would make me very open to emotional risk and thus willing to explore the world and gain new experiences. In reality I feel like I am in a situation that is opposite to what I described. I am horribly afraid of failures, I feel like doing anything is pointless because I cannot really enjoy anything at all due to this hole inside me that will always cut me off from the outside world. Consequently I find myself presently in a situation of stasis, of lacking much experience of the world and of very low motivation. This has plagued me from early puberty and the shit situation with little hope for significant improvement in the near future I now find myself in have everything to do with it. I will try though. And I will never give up. I can't think of any questions, I just wanted to share this. Does it look like I have a victim mentality?

http://www.munkdebates.com/debates/gender-in-the-21st-century I haven't really come across feminists expressing their views before so it was interesting for me to see what they have to say. Yet it quickly became obvious that their views lack substance, their talking points were repetitive, boring and vacuous. And of course it's deeply ironic how both the pro and con sides of this ostensible debate are feminists and this is considered a proper medium to discuss the role of gender in the 21st century. For juxtaposition, a text of Stefan's speech about feminism: http://pdfsr.com/pdf/feminism-speech.pdf.

Link: [bBC] Link: [Alluc] New documentary by Louis Theroux, interesting as always, leaves you with a lot to think about. Feel free to share your thoughts on the documentary and on the subject matter in general, I'm interested to hear what anyone here thinks about this. Of course these cases would need to be more deeply examined to get a real sense of all the dynamics behind these kids and their families. I have to say, though, that I got a sense of emptiness and a lack of bonding from these parents. So I wouldn't be surprised if a child didn't find their current self satisfying enough in a similar family situation. Who knows what exactly leads them to focus on their gender in dealing with this, but I'd say these issues are rooted in dysfunction and would need to be explored further.

You're not alone in feeling sickened by this kind of conduct. I once saw a mother abuse her children on public transport. As I sat facing her I stared angrily at her face the whole ride and she got the message and didn't dare touch her kids again during the ride. There was a great amount of fear and shame in her face that got exposed as I stared at her. Those same feelings no doubt she's drying to externalize when abusing her kids. As for advice on what to do in these situations, I haven't had experience really in this but I'd think talking would be the best solution. Either to the parent or to the child. Telling the parent how bad physical and mental abuse is to children and treating the children like normal people so they'd experience some behavior other than what they receive from their parents; telling them the abuse they receive is not normal etc. It's a tricky situation though. If you go to far, the children might receive double the abuse after they're back alone with their parents so self-restraint should be exercised at all times.

The language they use is yet another kind of weapon. "Mandatory" implies to me that we all live in some big institution that has magnanimously taken us under its wing and for that we cannot possibly ever hope to pay back our debt to this grand, ever-loving father figure. So the least we could do is to obey it unquestioningly and "mandatory" is supposed to be the trigger word that snaps us into an obedient zombie like state. Thus we are thankful that we are told what to do and happily embrace the destruction that is swept over us. The manipulation of language might be subtle but it makes my blood boil anyway and it's used everywhere in politics. "Enforced voting" would be the correct phrase here.

I heard on a podcast that The University of Nicosia in Cyprus offers a degree on cryptocurrency. http://www.unic.ac.cy/digitalcurrency Also trans-cranial direct current stimulation (tDCS). Basically this means using tiny amounts of voltage by applying electrodes on different parts of your head to stimulate your brain into more effective learning or it can also help with quitting smoking, overcoming depression and god knows what else. People are actually using this successfully, making their own devices etc. Apparently the military is also using it very effectively and there's a radiolab podcast about a journalist's experience of that (Link). I'm yet skeptical about this but also very hopeful in terms of future possibilities. https://thebrainstimulator.net/

The argument that Scientology organizations should pay taxes reminds me that most people, no matter how rational, skeptical, atheistic or free-thinking they purport to be, still support the religion of statism. Makes me think of endlessly peeling off layers of psychological defenses just to encounter irrationality and aggression of increasing intensity. I agree with the man from the Youtube link that it's futile and misleading to argue whether or not Scientology is a religion like it would be a privilege. All religions are just crazy nonsense.

Link IMDB There's been a lot of hype about this lately. Should be good.

There's an interesting exchange between a convicted rapist and Louie in his 2014 documentary Among the Sex Offenders. As Louie is bringing up the topic of the rapist's offense, Louie asks him: "Your parents beat you didn't they?". That visibly triggers a lot of emotions in he rapist and he starts talking about how his father was a devil and constantly beat him on one side of his cheek and how his mother was an angel and constantly caressed him on the other side; how he cannot tell the difference between the two anymore and thus how desperately he wants to kill himself because he doesn't know how to make those decisions. As he tells these things he's crying. Would be nice to see those kind of narratives taken further in these documentaries. As far as Dean goes, I would say that once he hit puberty, little happy Dean discovered that his happiness had been solely based on some narcissistic fantasy of his parents and once he found unable to escape from that and develop a genuine self, he turned to destructive behavior. A similar thing happened to me, only I turned to more of an inwardly destructive behavior. As to why those kinds of issues aren't looked into more deeply..... Perhaps the biggest reason is that Louie lacks the necessary self-knowledge.