Matt H

That would be pretty cool. I bet a nice long chat between Stef and Woody would be huge on youtube. Especially if they find a lot of connections.

It's all I can do to talk about the weather with people like this, once I know they are the way they are. Everything about an interaction with them is such a waste of time - you'll rarely make a real connection with these type of people. I like endostate's idea. If that doesn't shake him, loose, I wouldn't spin your wheels too much more. All that said, I've had a couple of these in the recent past that I have unloaded some heavy philosophy on, and then walked away. The realness and truthfulness of it couldn't get out of their head, so they keep coming back asking me more questions. Its funny - they tell me I'm wrong, but they're still so fascinated by what I say that they have to come back again. So you never know....

I was also thinking along the lines of Intellectual property theory - you can't "steal" something that you still have. If I take your car, you no longer have a car. Since they are pumping the signal through the lines, if I capture the signal, it doesn't take the signal away from them. I have the same question about the stupid rule / disclaimer you hear on a sporting event televised. Something like "this broadcast is reserved exclusively for the private use of our audience. Any recording, redistribution, or depiction of the events of this game without express written concent of XYZ league is strictly prohibited." So you are sending me video, onto my TV, and then telling me what I can or cannot do with it once I receive it.

Well, more so in the past, before internet streaming of videos became popular, people would often get cable TV "illegally" using various means to hook up to the cable company's signal without paying the cable company for it. Its still a thing, but I think technology is such that its much harder to do. They leave you hooked up to the cable, and its encrypted now, so you have to have a converter box to decode it. They can turn that box on or off remotely.

So, being an AnCap, and being philosophically opposed to the concept of intellectual property rights, I had this question (admittedly, as I watched an episode of Seinfeld): Illegal cable hookup - moral or immoral? I can easily argue both sides of this argument. Its a tough one.

Thanks Ivan - that is a good point. I don't know if she knows why, but I think calling her "helpless" is not accurate, and even she knows that. There's something else there. It gets creepier the more we talk about it. Ferssitar - I really don't feel the "need," per se. I have been happily single since I got divorced in 2008. In fact, the lessons from Stef that showed me how bright the future is for a single guy is hard to pass up. I wasn't looking for a romantic relationship now - I just really hit it off with this girl, and I'm still a dude, after all! I think I generally do a good job passing on so many other damaged people that manage to wander into my life, male or female. This one just got passed my first line of defense. You guys are my backup!

Demosthenes, you're a ball buster. But I appreciate it. I agree with all that you say. I most certainly will act on it. I've honestly been looking for ways to see changes manifested in my real life decisions and relationships. I don't want the work I have put in here to go wasted as a bunch of online BS that never gets put into action. I think based on all of your responses, it's obvious that the flags I saw that led me to post about it were in fact red in color....and I think Pablo has a good point. No reason that I cannot tell her about the concerns I have. We can be friends and keep it at that. Hopefully for her sake, the rejection may help her see how profound the problem can be for her if she doesn't address it. So it's the best for both of us. And Matrix - for the record, she's hot, but she never asked me to help with the bed frame. She just mentioned that she was going to her mom's to put together her bed frame for her. It didn't involve me. Had she asked me to drive 2+ hrs to help her do that, you guys would have never heard about this girl (either because my self-knowledge kicked her to the curb, or because I'd be horribly ashamed at having done so, and canceled my subscription so as not to tarnish FDR's good name...)

Purely from a physical appearance standpoint. I'd put her at about an 8. We haven't slept together. We have known each other about 3 years. We live in different cities about 2 hrs apart. We work for the same company, but in different locations. So before we started seeing each other outside of work, we would only see each other maybe twice a month. The dates have been very enjoyable. We have a great rapport with each other, and I am drawn to her because she really enjoys intellectual challenges, and sees my intelligence as an attractive quality. We can disagree on things, and debate different topics for hours. Our dates have been usually centered around a concert or sporting event that is really just an excuse to hang out and talk. We haven't yet been on a formal "date," like dinner and a movie or something. I think we both enjoy the interaction more than anything. She definitely has some unresolved issues around her parents and childhood. That's becoming more clear to me. I think characterizing her behavior towards her mom as a vice was based on the way she acts. It's a reaction that we both understand that she's better than this. She knows better, but for some reason she likes it. I don't know if she likes being needed, perhaps. From what she has told me, her relationship with her father (being that he was a controlling, abusive prick) was very strained, and they didn't speak for several years. Apparently he figured out he was going to die soon, so he reached out to her and tried to make up. She expressed a lot of guilt, because she rejected his attempts to make up in the end. They had gotten back to speaking terms, but not much more. I have shared a lot of thoughts with her around the "blood is thicker than water" fallacy, that de-FOOing is many times a healthy thing, and that her poor victim mom was responsible for bringing the abusive father into their lives. She's very receptive to these ideas and agrees with them in theory. But it's as though she just doesn't internalize it, or feel that it's a problem for her that she needs to address. It all boils down to "I like my mom, we're good friends, and I want to be there for her." The logical inconsistency doesn't bother her. Her mom is about 62 I believe. Her had was 74 when he died, so he was easily 15 years older. I certainly don't think I am the one to tackle this problem. I am more in the place of - is this a dealbreaker, or is this just a flaw in another human being who seems otherwise virtuous to me, but needs to return to therapy to get herself in the right place, before we made any type of long term commitment. I went to a therapist for several months, purely because I wanted to grow. Listening to Stef, seeing that I had a childhood that would be considered wonderful by most standards, but had some abusive elements to it, I took advantage of having access to sessions with a therapist covered via the benefits I have in my job and tackled that issue. So I understand that people have these pieces of baggage. She has demonstrated a willingness to seek help when she felt it was needed, so that's a huge positive in my view.

I have no idea. I certainly didn't put those two things together, but somehow she has managed to. To clarify - she acts like this behavior is a vice, like smoking or something. She gets embarrassed to discuss it, and knows I will potentially think less of her. I don't view it as a problem "for me." But now, after gaining the ability to foresee future problems, with assistance from guys like you as well, I definitely see how I will see it as a problem for me down the line. It's obvious there would be boundary issues, knowing that her mom is so demanding of her daughter's time. I sure as hell am not going to compete with the mom for her time or attention. And the mom must have such control over her, at some point we would end up at odds with each other on some matter of importance. I couldn't deal with knowing she would choose her mom's opinion or desire over mine.So yeah - you are right. It's a big loud ugly siren going off. Life is too short! :)Thanks for your feedback.

Hey everybody - I just started dating a girl I've known for a while, only been out a couple of times. Yesterday we were having a nice long "getting to know you" talk, and she confessed/confided/let slip (lol) that she is basically her mom's mom. Her mother is a helpless "victim" in her words, and although she says she hates that about her mom, she readily admits that she enables the behavior. Although they live in different places in the same city, she cooks meals for her mom, buys her groceries. Yesterday she told me she was going over today to set up a new bed frame for her mom's bed. Her dad was apparently quite controlling and abusive. The parents split when she was only 5, so she's never really known them together. He died a couple of years ago, and this seems to contribute to her need to provide for her mom. She has been to therapy at some point in the last couple years, and talks about all the great things that did for her. She comes across as a very strong, independent, and confident woman (which is what really attracted me). This thing with her mom sticks out even more as a red flag. I don't know if this should be a deal breaker, as in a Matt-sized hole in the wall of her apartment. Or I should just let it play out. I certainly feel grateful to Stef and the group here for helping achieve a level of self knowledge and awareness to catch something like this. I wouldn't have picked up on it even a year ago. Appreciate all your thoughts!

I think the best evidence of this is just to watch small children who haven't yet been corrupted by force. Or even remember your own childhood. Kids crave equality, explanation, fairness, truth, etc. They have to know "why" everything is the way it is, and won't accept a B.S. answer. Their parents have to use force to stop them from negotiating or continuing to ask the parents why they make the choices that they make. "Because I said so" doesn't work unless you abuse your kids. I remember being a kid, being told to accept something just because my parents told me to. I thought to myself, "why can't you just explain it to me?" It wasn't until later I realized it was because they had no rational explanation. So in my opinion, the empirical evidence is overwhelming that humans are born as rational beings.

I've noticed lately everyone has their Myers-Briggs score on their profile. Do people really know what type of person based on their score is compatible with them? I only ask because I know for sure that I don't know. I have dated girls who matched my profile's compatibility score "on paper," and couldn't have been more wrong. Overall, it doesn't do enough to capture the person's personality. I hope people don't rule out potential matches based on that stuff. Certainly not criticizing you for putting that on there, btw. I think its smart and courageous of you to give your score, especially since every single person, at least on the female side of these sites, claims to be "very outgoing." Obviously some of them are lying. Its pretty funny, really.

Totally off your original topic, but I'm glad someone else has made that stand against marriage. To an atheist, getting married makes as much sense as celebrating Yom Kippur. To an An-cap, getting married makes as much sense as applying for a job at the post office. I've believed that very deeply for the last few years and stated my views upfront to any woman I dated regularly. I found it odd that so many people in the anarchist and athiest circles still go grab a gubment license to celebrate their holy matrimony.

I have no idea. No reason to think its not real, but you never know. In light of the recent militant man-hating that's trending on twitter, I guess its not so much did this occur, but WOULDN'T it?

Because the woman you sleep with, go out with, and even wish to marry, might do this instead....

Fair enough. Nobody deserves to be verbally abused. Its actually pretty impressive that you had the nerve to stand up for yourself. I'm pretty sure that lots of people take verbal abuse in their jobs, and they just take it, because they'd rather take the abuse than look elsewhere. Of course, the better the job and better the company, the better the boss. Ergo, no more verbal abuse. So if you ever get lucky and find an entry level job with a tolerable boss and any chance at advancement, you'll be on your way. Easy peasy, right? Good luck. And welcome to the forum.

This is a good read for all the folks who still believe in "changing the system from within." These guys were already ON the inside, and they gave up and quit. They figured out that its a waste of time. And you are judged by the company you keep. So better to get out than be mistaken for one of the criminals you rub elbows with. --------------- April 18, 2014 ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. —Just days after the U.S. Department of Justice announced the results of an investigation into the Albuquerque Police Department, three members of the Police Oversight Commission are quitting. In their resignation letters to Mayor Richard Berry, Richard Shine, Jennifer Barela and Jonathan Siegel said they’re resigning because the civilian commission has no teeth. “The city attorney’s office addressed the POC on April 10, 2014, and stated that we have no power to decide against the APD Chief or against the independent review officer’s findings regarding citizens’ complaints,” reads Siegel’s letter. “I cannot continue to pretend or deceive the members of our community into believing that our city has any real civilian oversight.” Read more at http://thefreethoughtproject.com/3-albuquerque-police-oversight-commissioners-quit-cannot-continue-deceive-community/

Thanks for posting, Paul. The fact that you attended a meetup means that you don't give yourself enough credit. There are alot of people out there who COULD NOT bring themselves to walk in to a place where they were meeting a group of strangers. It would make them physically ill, just the thought of it. I'm sure you were at least a little bit anxious as you were headed to the meeting place. But you had something in your gut that pushed you past the anxiety and overcame it. So you have two things that many people don't - the ability to push yourself outside your comfort zone, and the willingness to do so. If you care (as I'm sure you do) about bringing yourself into a new place in your life where you want to be, you have what you need to do it. If I may ask, what caused you to lose your job(s) in the past?

I don't think there is an overpopulation problem globally. Stef points out all the time that we could relocate the entire world to the state of Texas, and it not be populated as densely as NYC. BUT, any overpopulation that does exist, even within certain geographic areas, is a result of the state. It disrupts the free market by enforcing laws and regulations to make moving or staying in certain areas to the point of overpopulation. For instance, the 40 hr work week and other labor laws, government schools, rent controls, government roads and utilities all cause people to make decisions that they otherwise would not. And as dsayers points out, giving women in poverty a cash reward for making more babies directly influences decisions causing pain and abuse to children.

Its not as scary as it looked from the headline. "Giving" their dad their virginity could be something much worse. Hillbilly trailer park worse. Whew. Living stones. Purity Balls. Anybody have a testicle complex to process? And what exactly does "protect my daughter's choice of purity" mean? Is daddy gonna put a bullet in little Johnny for kissing his daughter on the front porch? He might murder a kid, but at least daughter's saliva hasn't been tainted with kooties. Its this type of parenting that turns out a young lady who shows up at college ready to drink and screw all her daddy issues away. She's lucky not to end up prego by end of freshman year.

This is great. I'll be at the race, and I can't wait to see this. I'll guess that among the 100K+ fans at the track, maybe 5 will know what that logo stands for.

I wish we could get some local activity going up here in the ATL. The meetup group has a handful of people, but none of them will actually meet up. I may have to make the trek down to Savannah some time to find some rational minds.