Mellony

I just get so frustrated when society acts like there is something wrong with boys when they don't act like girls.

I agree....which is why I said I felt bad for the boy....

I over heard a mother say this to her son who was being a little on the rowdy side, but nothing that I would consider inappropriate. I felt so bad for the little guy!

Thanks for all your help and advice....I'm new at this and trying hard to get things right. I feel confused about all of it. [:S]

Awesome!!! I'm planning a trip up there within the next 2 months, I'll let you know when I have definitive dates!!

https://www.facebook.com/AnarchistMom/posts/10151529527739422 this is so sad! I can't believe all the people who don't object to this!! It's clearly child abuse!

If you are talking to him with the purpose of getting him out of the mood you are not being curious about his feeling upset. And he is likely to be crying to get the cuddle and the attention, just like the other boy. You can assume responsibility. Saying "I am human" is not assuming responsibility. It probably comes from you. Do you not feel or think he is a bad kid for doing that anyway? I do talk to him to find out what's wrong and to get him out of the mood. When he cries about never getting invited to parties and I know he has, I remind him that he has been invited before but he just keeps saying he hasn't....I want to know a way that I can teach him to not think like that. I would love to figure out how to keep him from getting so negative. That is something I don't understand, because I am rarely ever negative. I said, "I'm only human" to imply that I am not perfect, I'm sure I've done some things that would not be helpful to a child, just as I am sure you have made the same mistakes or will make with your children. None of us are perfect and we will all make mistakes. And I do take responsibility for my short comings which is partially the reason why I am asking for advice. And I do not feel like he is a bad kid at all!!! I've been trying to pay closer attention to my actions and words to make sure he doesn't get that impression from me. When he says he's a bad kid, I always explain to him why he's not bad...because I honestly in no way, shape, or form think hes a bad kid. Everyone has bad days and make mistakes and he has every right to make mistakes and needs to make them to learn. I feel like you are being very judgemental....you don't know anything about me and it seems like you are assuming I am some monster mother. I try everyday to overcome the things that have happened to me in the past and make sure I don't do the same things with my kids.

I'm sorry you have to deal with it. I too have some degree of social anxiety. It's not fun. It can really be crippling. But you're right, treating it a bit at a time would probably be the best way to deal with it and it's good that you know your limitations. I don't really have any insights...sorry. I just wanted you to know you're not alone. (((HUGS)))

I have 2 boys that I have issues with that I need some advice dealing with. First, I have a 8 yr old boy who is very over emotional. His father and I are divorced and while we were together, my ex was very violent. He occasionally spanked the boys and beat our dog in front of them and had a very viotile temper. Whenever my ex would raise his voice, my 8 yr old would immediately start crying and go put his head in his lap. He always told me he was scared, but he knew that my ex always wanted him to be a man, be tough. If one of his oder brothers upset him, he cries. If he gets his feelings hurt, he cries. And it's not easy to get him out of these moods. I try cuddling him and talk to him about what happened that made him be upset but it seems like it takes hours for him to come out of the mood. What else can I do? A lot of times he cries because something isn't fair. Like if one of his older brothers get invited to a party, he cries becasue he didn't get invited. And then he goes over the top and starts feeling sorry for himself by saying, I never get invited to parties or I didn't get to do that, it's not fair, etc. How do I deal with that. His father was the same way? I like to think I'm not that way, but I'm sure I have said things like that in the past. I am human after all. My other boy is 7...He is almost the complete opposite of the other boy. Hr rarely gets upset, but when he does, he acts just like his father. Pushes things, he has thrown some things, slams doors and screams. I know he gets this behavior from his dad. His dad did this all the time. I don't know how to stop this behavior. When he finally gets over his temper tantrum, he says what a bad kid he is....I have never ever said anything like that to him. Where did this come from??? What do I do?????

I completely agree that my mood affects what music I listen to. I tend to gravitate to music with lyrics I can relate to, like music with a lot of political dissention or gives me a nostalgic feeling. I used to listen to Rage Against the Machine a lot. Their song "Killing In the Name Of" has a line, fuck you I won't do what you tell me, it's said over and over on the album version of the song. Some of my "friends" gave me a piece of their minds when I listened to that song in front of my kids. I just told them that I want my kids to say that to me...it means I've done my job right! LOL

I personally think there is nothing wrong with music. Which is why I said I don't censor what my kids listen to. My question was does anyone here censor what their kids listen to.

So, do any of you censor what you listen to around your children? I don't feel a need to...but I'm just curious what everyone else does. I listen to all ranges of music like Frank Sinatra, Iron Maiden, Aus Rotten, Bikini Kill, Rage Against the Machine, Foo Fighters....obviously more than that. I think mainstream parents would object to the content of a lot of music I listen to in front of them..but I really see no harm in it.

So I got the book in the mail. My excient was replaced with disappointment when I read the first page: Anarchy means no rules. Boo!!!

Slight deviation from the topic about single motherhood: I recently listened to Stef's podcast #616 "Coincidence and Love Part 2" and I think it really clarifies his points about previous abusive relationships - specifically, starting at 00:24:25. It was very enlightening for me, it might be worthwhile for you. thanks!! I'll listen to it!!

That is sooo cute! I had a bird build a nest in my fern one year.