Just

hey belly I read your response, my internet is real spotty right now and keeps crappin out. I'll post back soon

1) It's incredibly common -- being the jack-of-all-trades is a very human thing. Consider the enormous amount of rural living in our very recent past as a species. Every member of the house had to play the roles of doctor, farmer, carpenter, tailor, etc. The division of labor, while letting the best of their trade shine, has taken away alot of the old self-reliance that came with varied interests. As i'm sure you know, some are just programmed to have their minds wander to new things. These were the people who had food stores for the winter, a reliable house, well-made clothes, etc. The problem is with our, cooky cutter "stare at the chalkboard and shutup" education, this personality isn't tended to and allowed to develop, in fact it's worse -- we drug the kids into submission. "These are the times that fry mens souls" (i can't remember who said that). It's no suprise to me to read that you were also put on similar medications as a child. 2) Like you mentioned, the induced-shame is more than likely allowing others to determine your value. I doubt any shame would be around if you had a big billboard on your back that said, "I have a Masters in Chemistry, I'm probably alot smarter than you". Like I mentioned earlier, any shred of self-confidence we have in ourselves comes from meaningful relationships with others. Problem is, we have chosen the path in life many others don't care to tread, and it's impossible to establish a meaningful relationship with someone you'd consistently disagree with. Is there any Libertarian/AnCap clubs on campus? 3) I just liked this sentence, it really hit home with me. 4) Just incredible insight into yourself. Have you considered being a writer? - you're really good at it. 5) I'm curious, which question in particular? 6) I couldn't agree more. The self-imposed conversational barriers are what sadly take away from meaningful relationships. I could only imagine it has so much to do with the situation you described at home, which I also imagine is pretty common throughout the world -- mine included. I know Stef has done great videos on the subject of the disposable and emotionless archetypal male 7) Good point. It's amazing how so many facets of our behavior have common origins. This is what fascinates me about psychology, the many grand and subtle ways violence manifests in our lives All things considered, I think you're an incredibly intelligent person with a real keen sense of personal development. I truely hope you stick to your plans of psychiatry, as I think someone on the receiving end of one your sessions could benefit greatly from your words. You mentioned your recent change in worldview is a probable source of your anxiety, and I couldn't agree more. It's a total shock to the system when you recognize the world we used to live in was so dominated by fear and fiction, I can't help but think of the scene in The Wizard of Oz when Dorothy steps into Oz, and it's this beatiful colorfull paradise. Looking back on what sounds like a pretty grim past after your mind has been set free and outgrown the yoke of childhood can, and SHOULD, be difficult. It should be ripe with that fleeting, momentary anxiety that lets you know, this is what life USED to be -- what life doesn't have to be anymore. To me it's the best sign of progress one could hope for. And, in your case, to me it sounds like just that. The anxiety and apathy you're feeling are just momentary glimpses of what life used to be, and it sounds like you're at the right stage in life to see through that old degrading veil

That is IMO one of the most difficult things to get past in life. But, garnering approval from, and trying to impress are two different scenarios. Any shred of confidence we have in this life comes from our relations with others, its only natural to want to succeed in life, gain their approval, and set out an example for them, you know? Being that beacon of courage which might, through our own success, help others succeed. When your opinion of potential coworkers is, "propagandized/emotionally damaged people incapable of talking about anything but tedious trivia." you're shooting yourself in the foot. Your outlook on others appears to be a reflection of yourself. First off, we will always see ourselves in others, the whole friend vs foe biological hard-wiring is tough to overcome. Secondly, we will always blame other people for what we're guilty of ourselves. Alcoholics tend to accuse others of being alcoholics, abusive mothers scrutanize the way others raise their kid while defending their right to spank. Have you considered your outlook on others as a place to start? When's the last time you had a meaningful conversation with someone which wasn't "tedious trivia"? Are you "emotionally drained"? Recognize too that you can't lack the will to change and expect an overnight cure from your therapist. I'm really glad your input exists in this thread Mishelle, because I agree with Sayo. It's not tough love (IMO) when you reflect OP's own frustration of his situation. I thought Sayo got to the core of the issue while also attempting to share that inspiration that we all need time to time. When a friend's brother died a few years ago, she had a friend approach her with this big ol smile on her face thinking it would help, like bring some sunshine you know? -- it wound up making the whole situation so much worse. It's a tough gig when you try to comfort someone and your on the whole opposite end of the emotional spectrum. Again, IMO - tried and true, empathy comes in all flavors - and having someone get frustrated and angry with you can be a beautiful thing

Holy smokes man, you got your work cut out for you. The only piece of advice I can lend is: I have seen an incredibly brilliant man have his lifes work boil down to a home-made dissolved oxygen sensor in his at-home fish aquarium. Only because he has so much on his plate, and so much he wanted to do that every project was done either half-assed, or only 20% done. Limit distractions. Dedicate your life only to things that you feel are worthy of your time. Penn (from Penn and Teller) said in a reddit AMA that he only spends time doing the things HE can do. ANYONE can watch tv, anyone can write the first few pages of a book, anyone can change someones life..... but what is it that YOU are truelly good at? What can you do that will speak to the most people, on what you feel is important? Have you ever been on a road trip, and there's thousands of street signs for diners, gas stations, landmarks, this and that? And then theres this sign in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere that totally grabs your attention? It's hard to know exactly what city it was, or sometimes even the 'state'? That's kind of how this is. I give you my word I'll spend some of my time looking for it, but I can't make promises that I'll be able to find it. Those little moments of inspiration seldom (for me) bring the necessity to quote the source. haha! terrible, i know. As much as I revere and support intellectual property, I sometimes let beautiful things sink into my subconcious until the source of which... becomes me. All I can do is tell others to listen to Stef's podcast from 2006-7 and hope for the same moment, then send a few bucks his way for his hard work!

no worries, I was just hoping you got what I sent.

Hey jester, haven't heard back from you yet. Did you get through those couple paragraphs I sent and see the template? Let me know Like I mentioned earlier too, if anyone is on the job hunt and wants an extra pair of eyes to scan their resume, I do this as part of my work with our company, and also run the industry partnership with the university to help students in STEM (science, tech, engineering, mathematics) build solid resumes

I was really captured by a video where he mentioned the lack of passion in philosophy, and historically how religion has abused the appeal to emotions to rangle in people. He mentions, well, to this day how many have gravitated towards philosophy vs religion? Suggesting the lack of passion wards off newcomers and may even convince them to write off reason as cold, and leading towards a life without anticipation and hope, etc. Similar to some off the english romantics who wrote off reason as incapable of nurturing the creativity, and spirit of life - leading us further down the path of pollution and decay they seen coming post-enlightenment and the industrial revolution. I hope some don't pass by this post thinking its a fanboy in heat or something, I'm really curious what it is that drove others to his videos. Cool topic, keep em coming. On what subjects? One thing I love of our little virtual community, is the ability for others wanting to lend a hand. I doubt anyone has watched every podcast/video in the vaults, but if you put us together im sure we cover most of it. If these are works in progress put up a new thread on the subject and I'll share what I got. I bet all of our minds could put together something pretty awesome

"[company insurance] shall not be or become liable for any loss, cost, expense, injury, accident, or damage to person or property resulting directly or indirectly from (i)... (ii)...acts of God, dangers incident to the sea, fires, acts of government or other authorities, wars, acts of terrorism, civil unrest, strikes, riots, thefts, pilferage, epidemics, quarantines, other diseases, climatic aberrations..." They're really covering their asses on that one. I had to call and make sure that the last stipend wasn't actually referring to 'climactic aberrations', as weather and "dangers incident to sea" are already named, but no mention of death by mile high club initiation was touched on. Does anyone read the small print? It's actually pretty entertaining, and somewhat daunting to know that if cholera spreads on the plane im not covered.

Check your inbox, and get comfortable. We run the resume workshops for engineering students here in town, I'm always happy to share with others one of the few things I'm good at in life. Stay in touch, and PM as much as you need

thanks for ruining my day with a smile once again Mr. Alan Chapman. For the record, I lost my coverage in the great state of Oregon, luckily I got on with a company in Cal about two months ago who had the foresight to prevent me going through this headache. Hope all is well for the rest, I'd love to hear a story or two

You're in a tough spot. I really like Heath's response, but then in all practicality, I dont think it would work, honestly. IMO. The big issue being... well do you want to hire someone with a clean job record, or someone who has knowingly 'made mistakes' for two consecutive years? In the interest of you finding a job, you might consider writing 'freelance work'. Clearly not every resume is comprehensive, and as a list of marketable skills do you honestly feel these past jobs will help you? If so, put em on there. Do you do any programming? Web building? Landscaping? As a cook, has anyone paid you for a meal outside of work? What skills have you developed outside the job field? Jigallo? Depending on the field, always consider the number of applicants. In my line of work, resumes are fed through a program that searches for certain strings, i.e., 'team work', 'on time in full', etc etc. Soft skills (e.g., Excellent communicator capable of sharing a team vision, yada yada) are great for jobs with lots of applicants, but jobs with smaller applicant pools tend to shy from folks who bulk up their applications for fear of them needing a temporary job until they find 'the one'. I have a boat load of resume/CV experience - mainly for the biotech/chemical engineering world, I can lend a hand if you want someone to glance over your resume (personal info omitted) and make suggestions

My grandpa worked for the railroads for 40 years with no experience but WWII. He's living pretty comfortable off that pension now. Let's see, you also have prostitution, oil mining, logging, cab driver, and lets not forget the original Ford assembly line. None require/d experience. Point is, 4/5 of these jobs are still around, they've always and still offer a living wage... if you're in the right area of course. I thought it was pretty interesting too to keep the food drive out of public eyes, which tells us... there's a rat on the inside. Someone entirely flabbergasted by the fact that stocking shelves doesn't give them leverage over the execs. whodathunkit! I'm glad someone else appreciated folks lending a hand to one another, especially since this article was probably not intended to invoke that response! hah! One more point for us

What's up buddy i'm down in your area, Oceanside - near the deathstar of buzzcuts and tapout shirts, camp Pendleton. I've had the same feeling of infectious morally drained people sucking the life out of me until you either brush 'em off or just settle for lackluster conversation. What do we do, eh? Something I'm continually reminded of here is that you can't change peoples minds, they gotta do it their damn selves. Seems near impossible too in the OC/SanD. counties where image and opulence will probably always takes precedence over good ol honesty and humility.. anyhoo it's always good to here of folk in the area. Take care, see ya around

I once hit a fly with a rubber band

Well, that's the argument most in the media have put forth. Problem is, when you have to ask a company to give bonuses... well it kind of turns into a Robin Hood case - which probably won't be defended too staunchly here. I respect the employees who, however little they make, still decided fellow employees could use it more than them - not waiting for their free butterball coupon from HQ