Greetings everyone,
I called in the show about 6 months ago concerning a very difficult situation. My sister and her boyfriend had two children but they were both addicted to drugs. I got my sister to go into Rehab and she has been there ever since. Not really sure how her situation will turn out it will be along time. The boyfriend apparently lives down the street from us "staying with a new girlfriend" but has not showed any sign of interest or concern in his children. About 7 months ago I dedicated my life to providing as much stability as possible. During the week I watch them all by myself from about 7 am to 5 pm. On average I spend abut 60-70 hours a week with them 50 of which are with my company alone "for the most part" the other 10-20 hours are usually shared with my biological mothers company.
From a very early age I always knew that if I ever had children that I would never let my mother have any access to them. So here I am living my worst nightmare raising children with my mom.. I know what you must be thinking right now "why not take them somewhere else?" and that is a good question. I would love to take them somewhere else however temporary custody has been given to my mother and they live in the middle of nowhere. I have a herniated disc in my lower back making long commutes impossible "if I have to sit" Long story short I can't afford to live somewhere else and take care of the kids 50+ hours a week I eventually had to even give up my part time job because my back was getting worse.
I have recently created a Facebook page to tell a little bit of my story and gain community support. At the moment I am not making any mention of my mother and her abuse towards me. When this all began I thought it was just going to be temporary, now the idea of turning them over to the whims of a clueless druggy and her narcissistic mother makes me nauseous. I am not prepared at all for children the way I would like to be but I know I can provide more stability then they could ever. Most likely I am not going to be able to convince my sister to give me custody and if I take it to court I risk the possibility of being outcast from their life completely..
Check out my page and give it a thumbs up if you could, I will be posting more on this matter this is just the beginning just wanted to share it with the best community I have ever found online or anywhere actually. Please feel free to share your opinion and give any advice.
-Thanks, Clark http://clarkgorny.wix.com/uncleclark
I am very interested in this topic. I can see the dangers in using bribery as a replacement for communication or to avoid conflicts of interest. However I do think its also unfair to think of children as robots who must be programmed, the important thing to nurture is the ability to reason. A child with reason should be able to understand that sometimes in life you do things you aren't really interested in doing to gain something that you do want. Such as going to the dentist, brushing your hair or wiping your bottom Teeth that stay in your mouth that is good hair that isn't all matted up that is good and not having crusty poop on your butt that's nice too. I do think there is the potential of going to far with bribery but like allot of things moderation is key. Like I said before I am very interested in this topic and in no way an expert. I use an occasional bribe myself and would like to see what the community ends up thinking about this. -Clark