SteveHein

ok - i just read the post you made from a couple years. ago...my partner said it is a wonder you havent gone insane. that is quite a lot of shit to have gone thru. i told my partner it makes my mother look like a wonderful person. my gf agreed and said same for her mother. honestly id say u are doing well just to be not locked up somewhere, not addicted to drugs or something. the internet is probably one of the healther addictions i guess but still i feel a little worried cuz my partner got carpal tunnel or some kind of repetitive strain injury.and it is way worse than we ever imagined. it has been about 9 months since she basically stopped using the computer with her hands and they arent a bit better. so please read up on carpal tunnel etc it seems the best thing u can do is *prevent* it - by breaks and stretching - but it seems nearly impossible to get rid of. also, id say u dont have to write a novel... if u just write the truth about ur life it would be a valuable contribution to humanity. whether ud make enough money to live idk. but id say a crappy part time job to support ur writing/recovery is an ok enough idea. id personally feel better if u were planning to get away from ur town - i have travelled heaps and it helped me become myself. i didnt have to worry about the opinions of others while travelling cuz i was gonna be leaving them soon anyhow. i highly highly highly recommend travelling to anyone basically. ur still young enough to meet pple in hostels for example, - u ever stayed in one? have u heard of couchsurfing? it has gotten very commericial and cheezy but still it is a good concept. also do u know about lulu and createspace for your writing? we did a book on lulu - our letters from the unloved book. someone told me recently createspace is better. ok thats it for now i guess. plz keep reading my site. and keep reading up on abuse, emotional support etc. u sound pretty aware. id say there is hope for u. also, if ud like, try going thru the emotional needs on this link eqi.org/needs.htm and tell me here how u stand on each one in general. if u want also go thru them and tell me which ones ur mother didnt fill. im guessing she pretty much didnt fill hardly any more than about 3 on a scale of zero to ten. can i send u a hug? sounds like u dont get any.... when was the last time u got a real one? i think they are the best form of emotional support. s

ok well, how do u want to go about this then? do u want me to ask u questions? make suggestions? or do u want to read up on my stuff from my site and ask me questions about that or about other stuff?

hi c - (can i call u c?) --- i have an idea.. what if we mostly talk right here and then others can benefit from out convo?

Tonight I was thinking about how I got banned from outofthefog.net. It seems the guy who controls it is an Christian, and an American. He seems to feel very threatened by anyone challenging him, his beliefs, his authority, his admins etc. So I started wondering why americans are so insecure. And why Christians are so insecure. First, I googled both of those separately. (in quotes to get exact matches only) - I got a lot of results and looked over a few. The most interesting which jumped out at me was by a guy pastor in the USA who googled "why are christians so ___" then tried it for each letter, a, b, c, etc. His name is daniel threlfall if you want to search it. He seemed pretty sharp for a guy who calls himself a Christian. I was going to email him but I didn't see an email address. And when I looked at his google plus profile I just started feeling too much pain from memories of bad feelings about google in general. So I got out of there. Then I googled "Why are American Christians so insecure" No results. *sigh Another example that people aren't asking the right questions I don't feel up to writing a lot about this now, but I will say that in my experience of being to about 60 countries around the world, I can say that, in my experience, American Christians are some of the most annoying, insecure, defensive people I have ever met anywhere. And Christians in other countries are less annoying, insecure etc than American ones. So yeah I think there is something kind of unique about people who call themselves Americans and Christians. They scare me to be very honest. They scare me a lot. I feel unsafe with so many of them around and having so much power and access to deadly weapons. SH

hi culain i just wrote this post about therapy...maybe it will help you a bit. http://board.freedomainradio.com/topic/37517-a-general-problem-with-therapy-and-therapists/ also i offer my site as a resource. id like ur feedback on it. eqi.org id be willing to correspond with you for a while at least to see if we can help each other somehow. no money exchanged. i can relate to a lot of what you said. steve

My partner and I were talking about therapists and psychotherapy etc and she said the basic idea of it is messed up. She said the reason we need healing is because our emotional needs weren't met by our parents. So we are trying to get them met as adults. Some of these basic needs are to feel valued, important, cared about. But a therapist will stop helping you if you stop paying them. So how important are you going to feel, how cared about and what do they value...you or your money? I like Alice Miller's idea of an enlightened witness more and more these days. BTW I was just writing an email to Daniel Mackler. I feel fortunate that he and I have been in touch a fair amount in the past month or so. He is the closest thing I have to a peer right now. Though we don't agree on everything. We do both feel strongly about child abuse and see the cause and effect relationship. Anyhow I remember how he said he used to help clients who couldn't afford to pay much. I admire him for that. I understand though cuz I have helped so many people for free. Sometimes I have gotten paid but it isn't really money that motivates me. I need to feel valued and there are other ways to help me feel valued, like reading my website, applying or trying to apply my ideas and giving me emotional support when I need it - which is pretty often lately. But back to Daniel. First before I forget I have created my own page on him and his work www.eqi.org/p1/authors/daniel_mackler Ok so now that I've shown that I want to share this. After I wrote Daniel just now I thought I might send him some money cuz I value him. But I decided not to do that because I don't want our relationship to be based on money. I don't want him to be motivated by money to help me and keep validating me - as he has been doing in his emails pretty much from the star. As my partner said that is now how we were designed to work. She used a Marshall Rosenberg term - natural giving. In other words, it is natural for us, innate, to feel good when we help others. So yeah, that's my two cents on all that. tfr thanks for reading Steve oh, one more note. i have asked a lot of people if their therapist would cry if they killed themselves. the majority, in fact the vast majority, have said no.

i am glad u came here and found my post. (( )) that is a hug why is there a smiley icon but no hug? or am i missing it?

hug sasha - this has got to be really hard for u to know about. and hard to try to figure out what the best thing to do is. my eyes got watery thinking of how difficult this is for u and the girl. u have a lot of responsibility on u. i feel for u. really i do. i have also had the same kind of bad experiences with basically every single institution i have had any thing to do with. so that puts even more responsibility on u. how nice it would be if we could just call someone else. but in my many years of experience now, that just hasnt happened. once when i reported something the lady who was taking the report actually started lecturing and judging me. and she never did anything with the info. i work mostly with emotional abuse cases so those are even more hopeless when it comes to reporting. a social worker in australia told me once they dont even try to prosecute those cases because they are simply too hard to win and the parents are too smart to get found guilty and they dont have enough resources even for the physical and sexual abuse cases. my two cents is try to keep ur connection with the girl. u can be her enlightened witness if u know what that means. it is an alice miller term and i think it is probably better than a therapist. and definitely less expensive and also in this case the girl won't be seeing a therapist it seems so u are pretty much her only "witness" - u understand abuse so i have a lot of faith in u and ur instincts. but still it is a huge responsibility to know this info. i have been there in a lot of cases so i can relate. hug again

thanks emanuel for your msg. : ) i like how u described this forum : )

thanks for the nice 2 replies. i did come check my post just like a teen ha ha s

Maybe u have heard "dance like no one is watching" so I will say write like no one is reading. I say this especially today because i have been looking too much outside myself for affirmation, validation, understanding, acceptance, praise, etc etc etc I work with suicidal teenagers. i relate to them. i connect with them. i understand them and they understand me. we click - much more than i click with most adults - sorry adults... suicidal teens are so so worried about peer acceptance. the first thing they do when they go to a forum is check to see who replied to their posts. they want to know if they are being accepted, or rejected. they want to know if their lives are in danger. i mean that literally and figuratively. we all know now of cyber bulling and bullycide etc. it is possible to kill someone with our words. (but only if the "foo" has first made them very very vulnerable) so a fragile, sensitive teen or any such human needs to know "am i being accepted or rejected" "valued or trashed" "wanted or unwanted around here, in this group"? today i did not check to see what replies i got to my previous posts. i felt more of a need just to write. so i did tfr steve

I want to say that, though i am new here, i appreciate that this forum exists. i appreciate that stefan molyneux exists. i have struggled to find a "home" in the world. i am now the property of the usa government. i must carry their passport wherever i go. and if i am naughty some other govt will send me back to my owners or masters. just like in the days of slavery you guys understand this here. or i am pretty sure u do. so i dont think i need to explain this concept more, it hurts to have to try over and over to explain myself. but this is one thing i think many pple here will "get" another thing many of u will "get" is how it feels to be an atheist - surrounded by .... well lets just say people who arent. so thanks to everyone who feels some connection with what i just wrote. i have been feeling very alone. to the point of suicidal feelings. so making connections --- real ones, deep ones, not facebook ones -- is important to me right now again thanks for reading - tfr steve

Just now I did this search in google "understand stefan molyneux" i wanted to see what came up. i wanted to see who was trying to understand stefan. or just whatever else came up. the results were interesting. i wont report on them all but i suggest you try it yourself if u are curious. one reason i thought of this is because i have signed up over at another forum - i wont say the name because i am afraid i might get banned here. i say that partly in jest and partly in seriousness. i was just banned at outofthefog.net and i am trying to figure out why. so anyhow thanks to michael and whoever else "accpted" me here. i am trying to find a place where i feel safe and valued - not a place where i "belong" because i dont want to "belong" to anyone or to any group. i dont want to be owned by them. get me? i have lots and lots and lots to say. i have already said a lot on my own site but i see that most pple dont feel motivated to go read it. so ... ok... i reluctantly accept that, or painfully let's say or i could sahy that i am not doing an adequate job of marketing myself or something - in what seems to be the age of blatant self promotion. so if u dont yell loud enough about how great u are, u will get trampled over. anyhow... that is all for now. i want to read a couple of the results from that search... ah but i didnt finish my thought from before.... when i mentioned the other site i joined which i wont name now. that site has a lot of pple criticizing stefan. but not many trying to understand him i respect stefan enough to try to understand him - i dont know what he would think of my system of talking about feelings but i will say now that i would feel good if he felt understood by me one day. i like to put numbers on feelings. so i will say i would feel satisfied 9 if he would feel understood 8 by me. make sense? thanks for reading - tfr steve

Do teenagers have a need for friends? Do they have a legal right to them?What about online friends? What if those are a teen's only trusted friends?Here is an email I got today - your comments, feelings plz. I would especially like to know how you feel when u read this, with specific feeling words. They often say a lot, quickly.----------Date: Mon, 21 Oct 2013 16:32:31 -0400Subject: Teen, Just Want To See What You Think.Hello, my name is David, and I just recently discovered your website as Iwas just looking for things to.. Help me out.. Basically, I just want tohear your opinion on this. Yes, I am a teenager, and, am, obviously"troubled", or "different", idk. In short, my mom is threatening topermanently take my internet away, including weekends. My only and bestfriends are on the internet, and they're the only people that can make mefeel even slightly like I belong, and they're the only people that canunderstand me. My mom says its because "I've been sitting on it too much",practically all day on school nights, from 3pm to 10pm, and from 8am-12amwith copious amounts of breaks, and that she wants me to spend more timewith the family. In truth, I don't even want to be around her, becausesimply being around her makes me angry and agitated, her looks on life arejust embarrassing in my eyes. She's slightly racist, and makes fun of gaypeople, and if she ever catches me crying she'll call me emo, and, I mightas well be, though I don't necessarily self-harm...She always pressures meto be right and its just so hard to take it anymore. I have no one to talkto about these things but my friends, and I think they might be the peoplethat've been keeping me alive the past 3 years. I dont want to tell herthat my friends mean so much to me because I know that she'll resort to"what, are your friends more important than family?", when my parents donteven talk to me about anything, and, Im honestly terrified of what elseshe'll say. If I cant speak to them anymore, I might go insane, or becomedepressed. Am I being stupid and deserve it, or should I try and dosomething. Please help.--Personally I felt very sad. Almost powerless. Vastly outnumbered. I felt a lot of pain. I believe he lives in a country which claims to be a free country and a defender of human rights.SH

hi r. hug accepted. thanks : ) -- Here is some writing I did about "What is a community" Here are some questions I would ask before "joining" a "community". Does the leader care how I feel? Do I feel safe? Valued? Do I feel safe to criticize the leader? Disagree? Leave? Do I feel safe to express all my feelings? All my thoughts, beliefs? Read the rest here S.