Jami

I haven't seen the finale episode, so shhhhhhhhhhhh!

This is a quite interesting topic. That fact that you feel so self insufficient is something that makes me feel uncomfortable. Perhaps this is a mere miss-communication amoungst you and your peers? I may be completely wrong. Hopefully, other people on this fine message board have some better advice.

I hope you all know how much I appreciate your insight in such a personal issue. Thank you all for your contribution. I will take what you have said into mind.

My question would be what is the difference between Christianity and Islam. Both have a savior that says if you "believe" enter the gates of heaven. Right? Or am I completely wrong? I know little on the subject.

Am I the only person that thought assault was committed upon said "dui coma patient" Justified or not, assault is assault.

Thank you for your empathy. I don't know if forgiveness is a possible goal for me. I want it to be. I see forgiveness as a way to get rid of the anger. I don't know if I ever want a relationship with my father again. Where would I even start with this?

I've thought about talking about this for a long time, and I'm still thinking. I feel a lot of anger towards my biological father. So much that I despise the fact I even use the would father to describe him. There was a lot of domestic violence, verbal abuse, and mental insanity in our household growing up. He wasn't completely to blame for all of it, but that doesn't mean he isn't responsible for the evil he did. He used to hit my brother a lot, he sexually assaulted me when I was 11, and mutilated my beloved pet. Combine that with abandoning me when I was deathly ill, maybe now you have an idea as to why I'm angry. I was in therapy for this from age 11 to 13. It helped me at the time but didn't resolve my feelings of hostility. I haven't spoken or seen him in 9 years. I recently moved back to my hometown where he resides somewhere. My brother and him are close. My brother recently told me his side of the story. He says he sexually assaulted me because he didn't know how to cope with me growing up. He has expressed over and over again how terribly sorry he is for what he did. So much so that my brother says it eats him alive inside. I've been trying to get to the root of all of this for some time but time and time again I hit a brick wall. Is it possible to forgive him? Could this be the reason why I have never felt emotional intimacy in relationships? Is this the reason why I don't trust men (in relationships)? I would like your complete and honest opinion. Thank you for your time.

Talking about your problems is the first step to overcoming them. I applaud your bravery. First things first though! I recommend you talking to a therapist to allow further insight to how you feel and utilizing the right strategies to overcome this difficulty you're living with. You can overcome this and be a person that looks at life with a glimmer in your eye. That glimmer may have been tarnished through all the pain you have been through but I believe you can get through this. Do the right thing and find yourself a good therapist and start the uphill journey to a better future.