TheSchoolofAthens

I'm in Austin

I find it far more amazing that I can walk into a large variety of stores - sometimes at 3 AM - and find clean, fresh, grapes already packaged and ready to eat, compared to picking my own grapes. I've seen some of Charles's work before, he is a communist/environmentalist. He is a "degrowth activist"; he is anti human and anti life. I agree with him that money itself wont make you happy, but I believe that because one needs a healthy self esteem to be happy and that comes internally, not externally from wealth - or even organic, home grown grapes.

Thank you for sharing your story! It isn't an easy thing to do. I would first like to say that I am sorry for your situation as a child. Parents that don't get along can be absolute hell, and the way they would bring their kids into the arguments must have been a series of truly traumatic experiences. You also mentioned that you were lonely throughout your 20s, which I can totally relate to since I just turned 20 and I am friendless. If I got married - I just broke up with my girlfriend - I wouldn't have a best man either. Systems of support are very important to have, so I'm happy we all have this community! I imagine your childhood has played a big role in your feelings of self worth, which would explain why you struggle to lose weight even though you are consciously aware of your gains. It is good that you understand that you are an emotional eater. I am no expert, but perhaps your childhood which consisted of your parents tearing into your emotional bond and causing all sorts of conflict in the household, as well as your emotions within you internally, really did a lot of damage. I imagine it isn't easy to talk about your emotions or connect with people, correct me if I'm wrong but combining your childhood with your loneliness in your 20s, you probably didn't get a lot of examples of effective communication. This is why you feel like a snob and have social anxiety at work, I'd be willing to bet. I had an internship at the Charles Koch Institute and I was surrounded by libertarian-republicans and "limited government" types of people who I completely disagreed with, but I had to communicate civilly and effectively. I can understand why you might not have the best communication skills right now - again, just by understanding your history - but the good thing is that, of course, that is something that can be worked on! I plan on seeing a therapist soon, and I have my insecurities as well. I will NOT have a male therapist because it would make me very uncomfortable as I had a stronger emotional connection with my mom, and I feel as if a female therapist will be much easier to talk to as a male therapist would seem too much like a father figure that I didn't have and it would be stressful and depressing - I just wouldn't connect with a male the same way when opening up like that, unless it was someone like Stefan who I trust from simply watching his videos. But with your situation, you seem too nervous to even have someone in the same town know that you go to therapy (the therapist herself.) She/he legally can't disclose information about you and I know that at least in America, when you first contact a therapist you leave a confidential voice mail that goes straight to the machine. Your privacy is of key importance! A therapist is not their to judge you for being in therapy, no more than a basketball coach will judge you for wanting to play basketball! 1) They see dollar signs so they welcome your business, and more importantly 2) They want your business, and that means they have to be effective and helpful if they want to keep your business until you reasonably don't need it any longer. In other words, it is exciting that there are therapists around locally that can help you! I think that finding a professional that you will feel comfortable with to open up with will be a liberating experience. You definitely have a lot to talk about, and whether you've realized it or not, you've identified a/the potential major root: childhood. You are on the path to self knowledge! That is something to be very proud of! I am happy that you wrote this post! My advice, again, is to seek a professional who is an expert in the field. I also recommend reading Nathaniel Branden. Specifically, I recommend reading "The Six Pillars of Self Esteem" as that is what I am reading right now and it is just phenomenal and insightful. I hope this has helped!

That sounds like a sick laptop! I won't have a laptop like that until I am swimming in money - one day though haha. I like how MSI's typically look. The logo makes me think of the Ferrari or Lamborghini of laptops. Also, keyboards with customizable LED colors make me hnnnnnnng.

Funny that I see this post today! I just called my ex girlfriend childish today, and of course I explained why to her within the context. I am trying to move out of the room we share ASAP - but since I got a giant package today and haven't moved out yet, I wanted to take a look at it in the bedroom. I take her cat out of the room and close the door because I didn't want the cat messing with the box, Styrofoam, plastic, or the computer case (I ordered a giant computer case and it's awesome!) She quickly got irritated and didn't understand why I would do such a thing. I explained to her and we had a silly argument for far too long. I'm happy I'm not PC and that no one I know here is. Imagine a world of PC people. Listen closely and you can hear it "Don't call a person something which is synonymous with immaturity even if they are acting immature! Just call them immature! Wait, don't call them immature because that offends immature people! JUST DON'T JUDGE PEOPLE. YOU RUDE PERSON!"

Awesome man! Do you have both still or was one an upgrade of the previous one? I'd enjoy some pics of it or stats about it! What got you into it?

Hello everyone! I've always wanted to build a gaming PC - well since I was about 12 at least. I am actually wanting to use it for programming and design mainly, as that is the career field I want to get into, and gaming as a bonus. All I've ordered so far is a, may I say, bad ass computer case. The thing is a mammoth! I chose it for the features, which I can get into if you care to know, and its sheer size will last me for years to come up experimenting and upgrading. Here is a picture of it from the web (ft. random grown man): I am so happy that I am finally building one. I am excited to get back onto Windows (as I've been on linux and while I LOVE Ubuntu, linux isn't made for graphic design or gaming, but it works great for development/programming, so I will run both!) and get into Adobe. If there is anyone reading this that is into computers, it would be great to talk to you!

Very good video, I especially liked your point on people who say things like "Stef has changed, he likes the cops now, he wants to control immigration among nations *sighs." All the while people ignore the methodology! It was a pleasure to listen to your video. Edit: It was really nice to watch after a stressful day of work - I find it hard to relax nowadays because I don't have too many fun hobbies in the same way that I used to, such as playing video games or watching TV for hours. I've forgotten how nice it can be to listen to someone who is rational, and just tune into an interesting conversation. Of course I enjoy Stef's videos, but it is wonderful to have variety.

As thebeardslastcall beautifully said, I have a very high respect for my mental integrity and I like to keep it in tact. I have, I am not happy to admit, smoked marijuana hundreds of times. The worst drug I've taken, and it's really limited to just marijuana, alcohol, and this, was tripple c's. Pills that make you incredibly high if you take about 16. My "friends" would steal them from the store, which was easy to do since they were just on the shelves of walmarts - they were intended to be used as cough medicine. I deeply regret doing that to my body and mind. It was incredibly irresponsible. I took the pills to get high less than a dozen times, but that is still about 5 times too much. Why did I do the pills? Because I was damaged, and I was trying to get a quick fix in order to feel better and feel not alone and feel happy. Of course drugs doesn't actually do that - it merely gives one the illusion of happiness and friends. Real happiness comes out of achieving ones values, and real friends don't do drugs with you, real friends make sure you never do them, or if you do do them, they help you to quit. Drugs don't make the world different, but they can heavily distort your senses so that you feel like you are on a different level, but that's because you aren't functioning healthily. One doesn't take molly, acid, shrooms, etc. and suddenly become Ayn Rand or Stefan Molyneux. One takes drugs and loses grasp of reality, has his/her senses tampered with, etc. So why am I against drug use for recreational purposes? Because I value reason, and therefore a functioning and healthy brain.

I agree with what others have already said. 15K could be spent on literally anything else. That goes for the donors money and how you plan on spending that donor money. What would it matter if you had even the most crazy and expensive wedding in history? You will be spending most of your wedding day with your wife, I assume, so all the extras are for who? For other people to enjoy or to feed your ego? I don't mean that latter part in a rude way, I simply mean that if 15K is spent on a wedding, it must be for impressing others. Should a wedding really about impressing others? If you disagree with what I've said, and please feel free to, I'd like to continue talking about it.

I just got out of a two year relationship that had an abundance of red flags. While I had many great times with this girl, I had put myself in a lot of bad situations, painful experiences, and damaged my integrity. The relationship should have never started. For example, she had done cocaine in the past (only 18 years old at this point) and she said she wanted to keep doing it. I said I wouldn't be with her if she kept doing it. She at first said she'd choose cocaine, but moments later said she would take me over cocaine. Even though she said she wouldn't do it anymore, I should have stopped dating her right then and there. Sure, she never did it again, but the fact that I would have to tell someone not to do something such as cocaine is a huge red flag. We dated for two years after that, going back and forth between marijuana, acid, molly, etc. I watched her and her friends do shrooms once, and I thought it was okay at the time. (I was a teenager living in one of the wealthiest cities in America, and it is so unfortunate how many teenagers do drugs so damn casually) I could go on and on with stories about how she did x and wanted to do y or z and I didn't like it, but all those details aren't necessary. My point is this: what kind of person dates a person who is a drug addict? A person who is a codependent addict. In other words, a person who has a lot of self knowledge to discover. The best way to defend oneself from dangerous people, is to know thyself. If I had read RTR before I started my relationship, if I had read other books about narcissists (my father) and codependents (my mother), if I had gone to therapy and given myself time to heal from my childhood, then I would have never been in a relationship with her for I would have been too educated about myself and healthy relationships. The question isn't "will I end up in a dangerous relationship?" The question is "will I choose to be in a dangerous relationship as a result of avoiding responsibility?"

Yes, it is hard to afford especially given your current circumstances. I am moving out soon, well trying to! It is a bit difficult to find a place to stay in my area given my young age and lack of credit/lease history that comes with it. Online therapy could work good! I haven't started my therapy yet either, but I know - there are too many therapists that are unhelpful and have piss poor philosophies, but there are good ones. They just take some digging. It is good that you have hear of some possible online therapists, please update us here if you choose someone! I've read some of Branden's book, but I need to finish it! Such a great book from what I've read so far! Great choice, I will have to look into Alice Miller.

Without a doubt! I enjoyed our jokes in the chat. If I were to stay friends with her, her behavior wouldn't change so it would be like "Did you have fun doing drugs and hooking up with strangers?! I hope you did!" To hell with that. Absolutely not. You and I did talk about that, we made some jokes similar to what I said above. You said our conversations would go something like, with me saying, "How big is he down there?!" It would be absurd. And again, based on her lack of virtues, why would I want her in my life at all? I look forward to seeing a professional. I already feel so mentally free and positive.

Well, Mothra (is your name Martha? You punny woman!) I have a post you can check out about the very topic of my break up right here. I am very sorry that he would do those things. There are some strategy video games that I'd like to get back into, but he wasn't moderating himself in a healthy way. He was basically using video games in the same way some people use drugs. Video games were his drug. It was his avoidance mechanism - he would stunt his growth through it. Just as my ex would do so with drugs. And we both stunted our own growth by having such poor and low standards. I can't stand not making eye contact with someone who I am supposed to be close to, as it reveals that we really aren't close after all. Eye contact is very important in a relationship. My ex also had a problem with that. We could make eye contact every now and then, but it wasn't deep, it didn't last long, it wasn't very passionate or romantic. She did go to therapy and her therapist pointed out that she hadn't made eye contact with her (the therapist) the entire session. I think she improved upon it but she has so much improvement to do. That is for her to figure out now and hopefully she will see a therapist - it's not my concern anymore. Your ex should see one as well. He is clearly avoiding responsibility for his own life by hiding and escaping in video games. I am going to see a therapist soon to talk about my relationship, but really it is to talk about WHY I was in that relationship. My childhood experiences is the obvious place to look. I plan on growing a lot and I know you can too if you take the proper steps by going through a similar process, I'd recommend therapy. We will never grow if we choose to make the wrong decisions. They might be easier and more comfortable to make, but learning about ourselves, building our self esteem, and talking to professionals is the best way to escape bad histories and create beautiful futures.

UPDATE: So, three days after the break up - since we both moved to Austin about a month ago - we are still sharing a room together. I bought a sleeping bag to crash in, it fits great under my beautiful standing desk. I truly like it! But, I repeat three days after the break up, my ex asks if she can bring someone over to sleep in the room. She was very vague, but maybe that was because she was very drunk and that was combined with stupidity, I'm not sure, but I had to ask who it was a couple times before she would give a clear answer. It ends up being a guy that she met, I don't know when or where. They were both too drunk to drive home. So here I am, on the floor, three days after the break up, and here she is drunk, with a guy I've never seen before who is also drunk, and they were planning on sleeping in the very same room. It was insane and disrespectful. Talk about a total lack of self respect, and total lack of respect for me and the boundaries that exist with literally sharing a room with another human being, especially after breaking up. This really drives home the point though. Just think about her lack of character that is exposed in this. Three days after we break up, she gets drunk and tries to bring someone home and they want to sleep in the same room as the ex boyfriend (me) on the floor. Of course, it also reveals my lack of integrity over the past two years in my dating life as I chose her. I do not put it past her but I am still thinking "WTF is wrong with you." I talked to, shoutout, LoneWolf on the chat last night. He was kind enough to stay online with me as we talked about it until the early hours of the morning. I truly appreciate that! We talked about my parents a bit, and I realized that I am a codependent enabler. I used to fit that role like a puzzle piece for my mom, as my dad wasn't emotionally supportive or very financially supportive either. I plan on going to therapy soon to talk about my relationship with my parents more in depth, as well as my previous romantic relationship.

Hey Mothra, I am in the same boat. I am younger, 20, but I just got out of a two year relationship and I totally understand where you are coming from. I didn't get out sooner, even though there were plenty of signs along the way that said it wouldn't be best for me. I ignored the signs, and I feel so odd now for not breaking up sooner. Just remember, anyone can give you a good cuddle, anyone can talk to you. But it takes a very virtuous person to have those cuddles and conversations matter. I have been doing okay with my recent break up, just a few days ago, because I have been focusing on the good reasons that I broke up. Yes I have cried here and there and it has been sad, but it was the right decision to make and I know that I now have the maturity to avoid such a relationship in the future. I have more integrity now - now I have to stay principled and not make exceptions in the name of "yeah she is pretty awesome except for x, y, and z". I know that you can find happiness after this relationship. In order to help you get to that point, and avoid unhappy relationships in the future, if I may ask, why did the two of you break up?

Clark, you are absolutely right. You couldn't be closer to the truth. The relationship has been off and on. I know it's a cliche, but it's been quite the roller coaster ride. I stayed on the ride because I was afraid what I'd find out about myself if I got off - I'd be alone, I'd be without my girlfriend, I'd feel kinda beat down by the fact that we didn't stay together especially after being together for a while (sunk cost fallacy). She is not the one for me. I am okay with getting off the roller coaster ride now, I am ready and have matured enough to do it now. Now that I'm off, I realize how happy I will be and how great it feels to be on stable ground. It already feels wonderful. Again, you are absolutely right. I had quite the contradiction in my above post. Why would I stay friends with her? I have my criteria set clearly, and she violates it with her drug use. I don't want to be friends with someone who does such drugs - she isn't any different, as you said, and she should be held to a higher standard since she can grasp anarchism, etc. It has been very destructive to my integrity. Every day that I was with her was a day in which I was not in a relationship that met my standards. Sad to look back on it, but I am happy I see it now and that the future will be different. It all hit home. I thank you very much. Edit: Also a bit of irony, I was wanting her to stop having such low standards and to stop hanging out with people who do drugs and have dangerous philosophies, when in reality I was with her for two years. *facepalm At least I've seen the contradiction and acted appropriately.

Yes, again I should have gone into more detail originally. She is definitely amazing to be with a lot of the times - it's so nice to talk about real important subjects in regards to philosophy and history. We've gone to so many libertarian events for the lectures, we've read together, learned together. The hard part is that we have so many similarities. Again, we are both atheists, ancaps, into peaceful parenting, etc. That is very rare to find. But just because it is rare to find doesn't mean it is right. I love those parts about her, but I value the human mind too much to be okay with drug use - even marijuana is a turn off for me. I smoked it occasionaly when her and I first met. When we started dating I started smoking more though, with her. Then I decided it wasn't for me to use, but she kept wanting to smoke it. She still smokes occasionally, a lot less than before, but I don't want it in my love love at all. I would understand if she used it for pain relief in a medical condition - but she doesn't have anything like that. So she smokes for relaxation, fun, socializing, etc. She's definitely one of the smartest and coolest people I've come across, but she and I differ far too much in the social scene. I'd rather stay home and do something productive than go out with some people I know and smoke with them. This is something that we've had issues with for a while now, maybe a year. And I think the truth of it has finally come to full light and I'm ready to seperate. I've figured out what I do/don't want in my relationship - drug use is definitely one of those things, even casual use. Also, she will be 21 this month, so that means casual happy hours which is okay with me, but also she will have legal access to alcohol and probably want to go with her girlfriends to do night life things, like clubbing. Which makes me barf.

Matthew, I did ask and she said it's just for fun. And that it won't interfere with her work life or anything, that it will just be for fun. As to why she wanted to do it, I don't think there is a good answer - just for fun I suppose.

I should have gone into more detail. My appologies. One of her friends likes to take molly every now and then, and just a few months ago was trying to influence my girlfriend to take it. We talked about it and I said I didn't want to be in a relationship with her if she were to take such a drug, and she then agreed it was a bad idea and her friend respected that. I don't like her friends because they are your typical college, party type. Drinking, smoking, partying - not my thing. I do not like to go to these things, and I do not like to have relationships with people who go to these things. That is my main problem. The way they all use substances. Edit: I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who has such people in her life. Becasue those bad behaviors end up impacting me and my happiness.

Update: We just decided that we should break up and remain friends. I told her yesterday that I didn't think we would work any longer. We talked a lot today, both casually and about our relationship. We definitely enjoy each others company, but I am too much against the use of drugs that I can not sanction it any longer in a romantic relationship. We've agreed to be friends, and that when we see each other, she will not be high from marijuana. (or anything else of course) We cried it out, it hurts a lot, but the truth has set us free. We hugged each other and supported each other as we do truly respect one another more than anyone else in this world, for we've earned it. We held hands, in a supportive loving way that was not romantic. The connection was too powerful, I burst into tears, but I know that I've just shrugged a rock off of my shoulders. I am happy that I won't see her friends anymore, and that she wont be high around me. It feels wonderful, the past two years had been full of so much growing and love, but it is best for us to part. I look forward to our friendship, and a more principled romantic relationship in the future, with whomever that may be. I know no one has yet replied to this thread. But thank you all so much for being the community which you are. It is amazing to find others dedicated to rationality and virtue. It makes me so happy to watch the FDR videos, log onto the forums and chat and discuss away. It has truly been a lifesaver. Thank you all for contributing to and creating this light. I plan on being more involved in the community from this point forward.

This is an intersting thread. It's fun to disect music lyrics! I definitely see rap music as the artistic embodiment of R type. I mean the populations in those ghettos which generate rap, or at lest typically listen to rap, are typically nothing but rabits. They have no work ethic, thus welfare, they have no morals, thus high single mother households, gang violence, and child abuse. Rap is crazy! So often, what is it about? 1) hoes, pussy, strippers, etc. 2) violence, shooting, fighting. 3) money, clothes, cars. 4) substance abuse. Notice, I said hoes, pussy and strippers. Not sex. Sex is a fine topic for a song, as Warrior pointed out. But the R's talk about it from an R perspective. I've listened to an awful lot of the artist Drake, who actually comes from (my understanding) a non ghetto part of Canada, and a Jewish background - but he appeals to R's. I don't know for certain if he is R or K. I believe he is a K, who has decided to make a career off of R's. "I think I’m addicted to naked pictures And sitting talkin’ ’bout bitches that we almost had" He raps a LOT about sexual relations with women, whom he doesn't love. (haha but I think that goes without being said.) I think you can certainly identify an artist's philosophy by reading and listening to the lyrics. I can say artist x, y or z has a philosophy which says it is good to be R selected. But to say whether or not that artist is R or K selected is more difficult, and I think would require looking at the artist's actions outside of the songs. I think that's important to bring up because some people could be corrupt K selected people who work very hard, are very responsible with money and sex, but create music that honors the opposite of all that. I don't know a whole lot about Christina or Britney in terms of their personal lives - but judging off of what you said, I imagine they have chosen to be R's. I must admit that I have difficulty with these assesments though. It is hard to say either way, as some artists are basically their own bossess, while others are found by a talent agent who thought he/she was cute and had a good voice, and then told him/her what to sing. I believe that the majority of music is R selected cancer.

I applaud your honesty with your family and I do hope it goes well in the future. I am curious to know how it goes, so please update us here! I've had many discussions with my family about free markets, anarchism - hell just rationality - and they like to avoid it. When they can't avoid it, they will be assholes about it. Honesty is critical in relationships, and then after everyone can be honest comes the second part: values. I find it not possible to have a relationship with my family when they'd like me to go to jail if I were ever to evade being stolen from via taxation. It is like having a relationship with an islamic terrorist who despises my atheism and westernized ways. My family may not be islamic terrorirsts, but they do despise my rationality and actually support groups of people who would do me harm. So, I can't really have a relationship with that. I don't want to sound like a debbie downer, as if what you've done is nothing of importance - because that is far from true. What you've done is very important. You've let your family know what your honest beliefs are, you didn't conform, and that is incredibly challenging to do. The question now is, will they evade, oppose, or accept rationality? That will determine the future of your relationship with them.

Ah, friends. I remember what those were. Then I discovered philosophy. I'm kidding, kinda. Fortunately I have a girlfriend and she is my best friend. She is an ancap, atheist, believes in peaceful parenting, etc. But she is my only true friend. I am okay with that reality. I'd rather be alone than in bad company. But I'd rather have good company instead, of course. I don't have any other friends than her because I know no one else who is rational. As everyone here knows, it is very difficult to find rational people who can become great friends in our day to day, real world lives. Given this reality, and my dedication to philosophy, I don't associate with people who are not rational and don't wish to learn about rationality. For example, if I like musical artist x, and I meet someone else who likes musical artist x, I will not go to a concert with that person if I find out that he/she is a mystic, or a socialist, or whatever else irrationality he/she lives by. My girlfriend disagrees. She thinks romantic relationships should be held to a high moral standard, and while she wants friends who meet those same standards, she thinks it is too lonely of a life to live because such friends are near impossible to find in real life. For example, she is going to a concert with a "friend" who is religious, socialist, and a pothead. I think that she is putting her fear of being alone above her philosophy. I'm very opposed to this type of Friendship - to the point which I don't think we can work as a romantic couple anymore. She doesn't want to lose me, but she doesn't want to lose her "friends" who either avoid rationality or oppose it. I brought this up, literally just yesterday, and I said that I don't want to stay together if she keeps those people in her life. She thinks that what I'm saying is not fair, and she doesn't see a problem in having a relationship with someone where a common bond is music, but where also their philosophies conflict. She says that her highest value is happiness, and I think that is correct, but she thinks that it is okay to get to that point by having these shallow relationships. Its actually that she thinks her happiness would be so depleted without such relationships, because then she would have no one to smoke with or go to a concert with. (Our music tastes vary, so I won't go with her) I watched Molyneux's video "Friends or Virtue?" which he made seven years ago. I think he is right on the money. I believe my approach is correct, and that hers is flawed, shallow, and short sighted, etc. What are your thoughts on standards in friendships? What are your thoughts on the relationship I'm in? Thank you for reading.

Hello everyone! I've recently started a project I call the Childhood Institute. The website is still under construction but here is what it looks like so far: http://www.childhoodinstitute.org/ I designed the logo and icons and am quite proud of them all. The podcasts, which are currently only on soundcloud, are going to get better in terms of content, quality, topics, etc. and they can be found by clicking the podcasts button. I still have to edit the forums and get actual blog posts, well, posted. Other content on the website is missing such as photos of myself and my girlfriend who will co-host occasionaly - my favorite podcats so far are the one's we've done together. I am happy with what I have up so far, but I still have lots of work to do, until then, I would be awesome if you guys could help out. If you have a moment, please tell me what you think of the podcasts! I would greatly appreciate your time and honesty as I want to improve.