Hi,
I wanted to discuss some mental health concerns I've been having, particularly personally relevant, but also more general that many people in my situation may be able to relate to.
I was diagnosed bipolar about 8 years ago. I had a severe manic episode after coming off of Lexapro, and was hospitalized for 3 weeks and started on a regimen of mood stabilizing drugs to maintain balance. I put my faith in whom I considered to be experts in this field, out of fear that what happened would happen again, and have recently begun questioning their opinions after consideration of bias, incentives from big Pharma, and potential health risks I may be looking at long term. I have noticed over the course of my life post diagnosis that I have periods of extreme depression but never experience the manic side. Sometimes I feel at an even keel, but I don't know if the meds are responsible for helping to keep me from going manic, or if they are responsible for the depression and general lethargy that happens so much, or both, or neither. I've asked doctors about the possibility of being misdiagnosed due to the suspicion of having my manic episode following a change in my med routine, a drug induced or drug related manic episode, from antidepressant to med free. I've recently discovered research about antidepressant withdrawal symptoms, which can include mania as according to one particular article, and escitalopram (Lexapro) was one of the meds studied.
I'm concerned about staying on my medicine long term due to health risks (namely, diabetes, liver problems, and cognitive decline over time), and the mysterious nature of drugs like the ones I'm on, seeing as how little research has gone into their long term effects or even in their biological efficacy. I'm also concerned about whether I will even be able to stop taking it at this point, if I am addicted to them and my brain is dependent on them after being on them for so long.
My doctors seem to be dismissive of my concerns, and seem intent on keeping me medicated but I don't know if their recommendations are fueled by bias, from the current mental illness paradigm, or if this paradigm is accurate or credible, or for all intents and purposes, a self fulfilled reality for me at this point. I recently saw Stefan's discussion with Robert Whitaker about the risks of being thrown into the bipolar camp after drug induced episodes, and was intrigued, though also quite troubled at some of the implications of this talk.
I was wondering if anyone had any advice, recommendations, experience, or knowledge/expertise in this area. I don't really know who to trust, and quite frankly, I am terrified of the long term effects of the medicine I am on, but also of the potential short term results from discontinuing my meds. Anything could happen, and this frightens me. I want to be right about not being sick, but I'm not sure if it's wishful thinking. I'm trying to find others who are willing to consider the other side of the story, it seems so one sided in psychiatry. So I'll open the discussion with this.
I am on Abilify, Lamictal, and Wellbutrin XL, if this helps. Thanks for your help and insight in advance.