MMX2010

I'm posting a link to the free-reading of this book (by Stef) because I only today discovered its existence. Thanks very much to everyone who had a hand in making that book freely-available. So much of that book was literally nauseating - (even now I feel like I want to throw up) - but I needed to know just how bad our historical parents have been, and just how utterly important it is to not be that way. http://freedomainradio.com/FreeBooks.aspx#origins

Yeah, very nervous laughter. It was disappointing to hear the standard, "I got spanked, and I turned out okay." arguments.

Thanks so much for this tip; 1.5 works perfectly for me.

It's job-related. All of my clients are in one area, and when I move (three time zones away) I'll have to re-establish my business. So the best time to move is during June. Oh, and when your father says, "I'll do anything for you." - he doesn't mean "anything-literally"; he means "anything I feel comfortable providing, which I'm trying to pass off as anything-literally."

One of Stef's best one-liners immediately popped into my head here: "Abusive people only want two things: they want to abuse you, and they want you to stay." ------------ Some more about me. As I mentioned earlier, my father has always been the loud, temper-throwing, name-calling, insulting, abusive one. A couple of months ago, my mother drove me to get my car inspected. But when we arrived, we discovered that we could wait about two more months before getting the car inspected. I, unfortunately, hadn't had any sleep that night, and told my mom assertively (no yelling, no cursing) that I just wanted to get the car inspected, so I could go home and sleep. She told my father what happened, and he confronted me about it. After a long argument between us, he told me, "Don't you think it's my job as a husband to make sure that no one abuses my wife?" That question, (which he asked in all fucking seriousness), confirmed how irrational he is, how irrational he wants to be, and how he doesn't want anyone else to judge him for his irrationality. I blinked twice, calmly told him, "Don't go there; DON'T go there", and have never talked to him about anything substantive ever since. (He tries to talk to me, and I either give him short, one-word-answers that derail conversations, or I participate kindly - whichever ends the conversation fastest. But I will never respect him, nor confront him. I have my clarity, and so I don't need to talk to him about my history, his abusive parenting, or anything else. But I also feel like you don't have your clarity. So either: (1) get clarity by confronting the necessary people, (2) state, right now, that you have achieved clarity - but are resisting the implications of that clarity. (I, personally, don't think there's any other option. If anyone else wants to provide other options, they can.)

First off, a little about me. I started listening to FDR in October/November of 2013, and am also living with my parents to save money until I move out in June. My father is the highly abusive one, while my mother (although somewhat abusive herself) is mostly the "victim" of his abusive behavior. Living here (since last June), and listening to FDR, has given me such clarity on how screwed up this family unit is that I don't care if moving out blows up in my face. Secondly, in my opinion, those lines tell you all you need to know. (1) She says she also had a very traumatic history, but refuses to tell you what that history entailed. (2) She only mentioned that history to insult you by calling you "fragile", and to suggest that you become a "gogogo / get shit done" sort of person. BUT, by moving out on your own, you're arguably becoming a "gogogo / get shit done" sort of person. And YET, this isn't good enough for her, because she wants you to stay in the family business.

I saw the author, James Fallon, interviewed on Anderson Cooper's CNN show "AC360". Fallon argues that his brain scan matches those of known psychopaths and murderers, but also argues that the nurturing environment provided by his mother and her extended family saved him from largely psychopathic behavior. You can also follow this link http://psychopath.channel4.com/quizzes.html to determine your overall "psychopath score". All in all, the book seems to support Stefan's arguments that a nurturing environment for children is extraordinarily important - so important that it can overturn a child's genetic predispositions to psychopathic behavior.

Thanks so much for your replies. Stef's interviews with Mr. Nihilist were especially amazing.

During Wednesday's call-in show, some people mentioned that they went through a period of nihilism. How did you get out? As an aside, I haven't read any of Steph's books, so if you have a book recommendation that can help, I'd gladly read those. Thanks in advance.