A__

I don't know but there's a photo of him out there as a really young child with his hair dyed blond. One detail is trivial but details add up.

Could the anxiety be protective, meaning you need these people in your life at least superficially for now? Have you considered investing more time looking for good people to replace them first?

Awesome, thanks for posting this.

I wanted to share this because I was surprised by the beauty in it. I watched it without fast-forwarding anything: My heart felt like it was in my throat. It also demonstrates how growing militarization of police and "security" is more about controlling people's perception (and instilling obedience) than actually keeping people safe. Surprising end result too: http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2014/03/24/arrests-world-trade-center-jump/6853533/?csp=usatgoogleplus

I think this film is important and uncommon. Someone expressed interest in seeing this link shared on the board. I'm not sure if it's already been posted though.

Youtube featured this video of Seth Rogan speaking to the Senate. In reference to the government, "It seems like these people don't care." The seats were mostly empty and a couple even fell asleep. Considering the violence committed by the US government, this is such a small point but I think it helps publicize how the goverment doesn't care.

Sorry for the late response. Thanks to all for the great information. Very helpful.

I'm sorry if this isn't a good place to post this. I'd like to switch my donations from PayPal to Bitcoin. Mostly because I can't stand Bank of America or any other bank for that matter getting a "foreign transaction fee" every damn time I donate. I'm a Bitcoin newb. Can someone walk me through this process or post a link to a concise, trusted way to go about this?

I just wanted to say thank you, Kevin for posting those links and everyone else too. Outstanding stuff. Worth multiple listenings.

First off, huge props to you for giving it a try. "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation" but you spoke up for yourself and gave it a whirl. It sounded like a bad job situation in any case and after all, practice makes perfect. I'm so sorry you felt agitated and sad afterwards but don't be hard on yourself: I'm sure you weighed the pros and cons of the risk. As dsayers noted, her response was less than humane. She is not empathetic yet she expected you to be empathetic to her in that strange and brief interview. By the way, that temperature...-25 below zero is far lower than anything I've ever had to deal with. That adds a new level of understanding to this too.

Well in my case I had more leverage since I had already been employed; my employer got a taste of what I could do. You'll probably need to negotiate something. Maybe explain your situation and offer to take public transportation for a week and if she likes your work, she could give you an advance to make the commute easier. You could even offer to draw up a contract. You can emphasize your good references and what skills you're bringing to the table. Another option is to just go ahead and do the work for a week, struggle with the commute and cold, and then after you demonstrate work excellence, make some kind of similar proposition. Perhaps a coworker could help with the commute or even a friend at least picking you up after work.

Yes, she is definitely desperate and that's reason enough to be leery. There are advantages and disadvantages to this. This is a bit of a red flag. Did you feel uncomfortable asking for more information about the second person? It's not nosy: You have a right to politely ask questions. It's about understanding what's going on to make sure it's a beneficial relationship for both of you. I get the sense that a lot of work is going to be put on your shoulders if you get this job without proper compensation and maybe that's why people aren't staying. Even if she gets someone to start before you can, there's a good chance he or she will quit by the time you are ready so don't feel too pressured, unless of course your next meal or rent payment is dependent on this particular job. Your reason for not starting immediately was professional but she sounds desperate enough to possibly offer an advance or complimentary pay for your truck starter to get you there ASAP. If you really want this job, you can be honest and tell her you decided to take the job (that you're really excited about it etc) but this expense suddenly came up. Would you be comfortable telling her that? I had a job that paid for my driving lessons because they were desperate in a way: In my experience desperate employers who aren't good at planning or proactively taking care of their employees, don't act unless there's an emergency. For example, I was very underpaid and only offered a raise after I officially gave my two weeks notice. This is not an ideal situation but you could make use out of it...gain experience temporarily if you want.

Schiff was way too dismissive. I'm glad Joe Rogan spoke against fracking. I haven't listened to it all yet: I'll bookmark it for later. Thanks for posting this.

Good point, LanceD. It's pretty obvious that the woman they interviewed, Rebecca Boss Behavioral Health Care Administrator looks like she's holding back laughter while giving her statement.

I know it's a fantasy but it sounds a tad unhealthy, like an excess of unresolved bitterness, like bile eating oneself from the inside. A healthier fantasy might be imagining abusive people apologized and improved themselves. I agree though; being glad an abusive person is dead is definitely healthier than being stuck in a debilitating depression for weeks after.

I wanted to clarify my previous post. I meant, I don't want you to feel a constant, uncomfortable anxiety about escaping your living situation, just that you not lose touch of that useful emotion. It can summon a sense of urgency the moments you need that motivation most to overcome an obstacle to that goal. In other words, like a metaphoric key that helps you unlock your dependence upon your dad. By the way, you've got great communication skills and you come across as very level-headed. No person can be completely apathetic about their dad, no matter how bad a dad may have been. Of course we all care, we wish things could have been less abusive at the very least. Just being in his presence is a constant memory of the past no matter how much you compartmentalize it, and (even if subtle) the genetic similarity visual can have an effect. Lians gave great tips. Reading his posts reminds me that this website is truly unique, an oasis. I'm so glad you've found this place, that you'll work toward more improvement (especially the good therapist part) and I wish you the best.

Oh my god. You cannot brush all that off and say you're OK with it. You are clearly not OK. I understand why you say you're completely fine with living with him but I think it's going to do more damage than you realize. You're probably a whole lot stronger than most people for enduring all that but in ways which leave you imbalanced. Yes, being with hime was worse in the past, you probably feel a sense of comforting relief now that you're older, but it's still very, very unhealthy. It's like a trap. You're paying for it with something more valuable than money. Continuing to live there is going to keep you in a stunted state. I hope you can get out of there ASAP. Can you reach out so someone in your past? Perhaps someone from the family who is remorseful about never offering help in the past, to use as an urgent stepping stone? Perhaps a friend can let you stay with them? I mean, if you can just rent a tiny room somewhere else that would be a positive change in the right direction. Get any job you can, save up to do this so you can stay somewhere else. Imagine that the place is on fire. It's burning your psyche, your identity, your mortality, your future.

I'm not sure where you could use them other than peaceful parenting blogs and maybe offering them to progressive authors on child behavior. In any case, you've got great photo skills and an eye for interesting interactions.

Aw, that was really sweet! Hugs indeed. Serious hugs. Great audio quality too, by the way. Thumbs up.

This is a powerful podcast. It helped me when my abusive mother was on her deathbed. Unfortunately having her two other children present, to be there for her, to watch her die albeit eventually in a medicated disconnected euphoria, made my absence less noticeable. I don't regret doing it. I just wish I was less emotionally tortured by the whole situation.

Sometimes you can be in a room full of people and still be alone. What does it mean for you to be with people? Does it matter what kind of people and what kind of interactions you have with them as long as you're not alone? What does it mean to you to be alone--are there specific thoughts you wish to avoid, perhaps dread? What was it like to be alone when you were a child? Ribuck has some practical solutions for being social but as dsayers mentioned, I think exploring your motivations is primary.

What a nightmare. Getting mixed up in this can't be fun either. It's so sad that children are born everyday into such toxic whirlwinds. I'm glad you care enough to try. But even if you never got involved in her situation, she could have gone to jail and gotten out and then done the same thing or worse. Your impulse to keep anyone out of the court system is understandable. I do think it's important for you to know why you found yourself investing your time and resouces in a person who was totally out of control though. I think it's great when people want to help anybody but her case sounds truly challenging, in need of professional help. I'm not sure which specific parenting resources would be best here. Maybe others can suggest some suitable, easily digestable books. Perhaps there's computer game-like programs she can interact with?

It's very good, especially the inability to think rationally part. That's what separates us from mere animals, the key to free will itself. Thanks for sharing.

First off, I'm so happy that you and your wife are interested in peaceful parenting and you're sticking up for her in a similarly peaceful manner with her family. You posted this several weeks ago--I'm curious to know how it turned out. I'm a little confused by this statement. "Never hear" sounds like you just want it hidden from you but I assume you just meant she better not still be engaging in it, correct?

It's amazing that Judge Napolitano was ever on mainstream news at all. I've only seen him on the Internet. That's an awesome clip.