maieesa

Exactly, and they are the same women who are not telling you if they have HPV or some other sexually transmitted infection. I mention HPV, specifically because it is quite common for women and men to be asymptomatic and also because while decreasing the likelihood, use of condoms does not protect you from contracting it. Most of the thousands of strains of the virus are somewhat innocuous, as a healthy immune system will fight it off like a flu. However there are what is known as "high-risk strains," which cause cellular mutations leading to cancer of the cervix, penis, anus or throat. Multiple exposure increases the risk of cancer. We don't know a whole lot about it, but there is speculation that it can also be passed on maternally. I am especially vulnerable to contracting this type of cancer. And while it is one of the easiest to treat successfully, if caught early, it is not worth the risk as far as I am concerned. I would rather be celibate. That being said, if a dude isn't willing to be having sex with only me, then the other females who he may be sleeping with are a threat to my physical health as well as my emotional health (due to most females' crazy-pants penchant for histrionics and deceitfulness). It's my estimation, that I know women as well as you, albeit in different ways and from very different perspectives. And I know what you are pointing to is a true phenomenon. How many times do you think that I have heard from the mouths of babes, something to the effect of, "I don't tell guys that I have HPV." or "Guys are going to assume that you are lying about how many people you've had sex with anyway. So if you tell them the truth, they will just think it's twice as many, therefore you should just lie to them." or "If you want to have a baby, just get pregnant. It isn't really up to him." And this kind of talk, even from the types who act as though they have integrity. The way that I see it, to say that there is something innate about my "personality or essence," that sets me apart, would be to remove responsibility from females, as we are often apt to do. I grew up in this society, with these influences and experiences, and I choose to be how I choose to be. I do not believe that females have no choice but to take the easy route and get away with absolutely the most that they can just get away with anymore than I discharge men who act that way. If you mean to say that acquisitive sex is always manipulative, with the conscious or subconscious intention of towing a man on the line until the hook is set, then no, I have not engaged in acquisitive sex. For most of my adult life, I believed that I didn't want to be married at all. If on the other hand, you mean to say that any sex between partners who are not yet married would always be considered acquisitive sex, then I have. Within a relationship with agreement on monogamy until further discussion. When I have really just wanted to get laid in the past, I've come to a mutually beneficial arrangement with a trusted friend. We both knew that it was just that once, and then back to normal. Simple. no. Can you see who it is who 'downvotes' posts? If you cannot, know that I did not. I'm enjoying the conversation and I do not take exception to any of it.

My asshole isn't buried and neither is my cunt; I am present to my lowest self. Do you really think that the above has anything to do with being mean to children? Do you see how the context of this thread makes that an absurd response? Children who are mean, are almost always reflecting. This thread has nothing to do with gossip or ostracizing "one" from a circle of acquaintances, or righteous indignation. Were my "acquaintances" so easily convinced of my assholiness as to ostracize me, it would be a great blessing to see sooner than later, that they do not think for themselves. I would not consider myself a luckless person...nor a soul at all. The way to not be the kind of asshole who is cruel to children, is to always remember that we have a needy little child inside of us, yearning to be nurtured, and protected, acknowledged, seen and heard. That is beautiful. Vulnerability is a powerful magic.

Lying to jerks,like her, is fine with my.. especially to help a child. Take it from Isabella, "mean to the mean and nice to the nice." You have already had a critical look at your own handling of the situation...and I think that what you said there is insightful as well. Speaking to the child some.. It is difficult to know if she would have heard you at all, had you offered her any kind of deeper insight, research based evidence or anything...It doesn't sound like it, after her last remark was completely dismissive. Big Love RJ

Welcome, Matthew.

Just be clear, I haven't been dating/single for a while, so this isn't a super current perspective.. I'm not sure what you mean by "the opposite" Do you mean that most women say that they aren't interested in a relationship, but would rather just fk around? Do you mean that to say, that my writing that men did "not want to talk to me at all anymore," is strange? Rereading my own text, that is a bit sloppy. I don't mean so much that they would walk away mid-conversation, but that they would no longer want to spend time getting to know one-another, or go on another date. I never did date much before, truthfully.

Yes, all of those I had in mind when writing that, have since moved on. I don't have any male freinds, who I get to spend time with on a regular basis, except for my housemates. Whether it was me or they who discontinued the relationship. At the time, however, I was also just interested in their friendship, a couple were friends who I had grown up with, and we were simply in the same "circle," so to speak, others were guys who I worked with. And a few, we were good friends at the time, and we spent time doing other activities, going hiking or walking and having meals and drinks, and conversation as friends, helping one another out with mundane things, playing martial arts, being eachother's wedding dates...some relationships have been like a platonic partnership for periods of time, mutually beneficial and enjoyable, but where I was not interested in becoming physically intimate without a commitment, and where he would want to be able to have sex with whoever else might be willing for a night, and so it remained platonic. Basically, we could both find some of our needs were met and that was cool. And a few such were more like acquaintances, who I had met in classes, which had us spending time together, perhaps working on projects, etcetera, and as neither of us found value in spending time together in a 'just a friendship,' way. However, they would continue to call every few weeks, just to "say hi," and then once a month, and then every few months...you get the idea. I have no gripe with any of them. I prefer straightforward communication, so, I can appreciate their honesty.

I'm repulsed. This video makes me cry. The cruel callousness...The first thing that I would do, is just ask my daughter about her upset, ask her what she wants to do about it...I would let her know that I see how she feels and that she is okay being angry or sad and just let her feel the way she feels. Hug her and hold her, when she is ready to be comforted. and I would see if she wants to get physical and move that emotion through her body...as she is obviously trying to do for herself, when she sort of karate chops the air, and then throws things over, etcetera. Although, she probably wouldn't have been throwing things down, if she were just allowed to have her own emotional experience without derision and being videotaped, threatened, laughed at. I would NOT do any of what this woman does, that is for sure.

MMX, I am interested in hearing about your personal experiences with people who are: tattooed, pierced, overweight, heavily made up, and or wear dyed hair..Please. The conversation about frame is also very interesting to me, but I need to reread your posts to grasp it. However, I am also interested in hearing more about that as well.

I really enjoyed this conversation as well. Interestingly, I have found a similar challenge in that being direct with guys about not being interested in casual sex, but having a desire to explore being monogamous and committed, usually results in them not wanting to talk to me anymore at all. Alternatively, they may hang out as a friend for a while, but always checking in, as to whether I am looking to just fuck around...I appreciate the honesty. I am curious about your notions, PatrickC, about what MGTOW means...or anybody's. Can you tell me more? (If that should be a separate thread, or if it already is, please tell me) k C.

It was reasonable to be concerned about being called racist. It would be a quick easy way to deflect, which they would immediately want to do, most likely. The way I see it, you did the right thing. Not only is it likely that they would attempt to turn the tables but that they would become physically violent with you. I do not feel this is a racist statement at all. You were observing them being violent. They are violent. I know that in the moment it is just so awful to see, that it is difficult to think of what to do. I praise you for doing what you did, and for opening this line of conversation around the issue. I would also have taken a moment to come down to one knee and speak to the little boy, as dsayers recommended. And if I thought of it, I love the idea of pretending to take a survey. Prolix, it is a racial situation, and we know the statistics show it. But besides statistics and pravalent attitudes and practices, Zelenn was describing the situation exactly as it was. He did not put undue emphasis on that aspect of the situation. Prolix, I do see the point that you are making, where the focus is most important is the little boy, of course.

In my opinion, this post contains some interesting viewpoints, some valid research, and also a lot of insight about each of you who have posted, seemingly uninteded divulgences. There are too many statements of opinion and I am not here to offer rebuttals to any of them. What I am here for is to offer my own perspective, as promised. Childhood trauma manifests in many ways overt and also insidious and barely detectable, and not at all visible. We all process our experiences in a variety of ways. The way that I see it, most things in life can be broken down to basic categories, such as: productive or destructive, cruel or loving, useful or not. You will never be able to look at a person and know via their appearance alone, whether or not they have unprocessed trauma. Perhaps, as Joe Rogan predicts, in the near future, we will all be wearing google glasses type devices which will make us effectively telepathic. My take on that is that if I were to only connect with people who do not wear heavy makeup, appear physically fit, do not dye their hair as far as I can tell, do not have visible tattoos or piercings, I would still discover many people who have unprocessed traumas and dysfunctional ways of being. I can say with certainty that this attempt at preemptive self-defense would also have me miss out on connecting with some people who have worked through tremendous odds to become all the more insightful and even who have not been traumatized but just love purple in their hair, or tattoos or have an endocrinological disorder. Objectively speaking, this tactic is not useful. Here is why: It would be useful for me to not choose a sexual covered in tattoos and piercings to have sex with before I even get to know if the history of risky behavior, etcetera applies to them. But I am not fucking people who I do not know very very well anyhow, ever. It woud also be useful for me not to engage in other ways that would make me vulnerable, but again, if I do not know that person well, I am not going to put myself into situations with them which could turn out to be dangerous. My theory is that if you are hung up on being able to judge people by these characteristics visibly apparent without further insight, then you do not trust your own intelligence to not choose foolishly and that you may be prone to risky behaviors and a lack of true discernment yourself. Being naturally and insatiably curious, I love to hear people's stories and get to know all kinds of people. Seeing how they behave, hearing their story and what they have taken from it, and how it has shaped their philosophy and psychology are the ways which I choose to decipher who is worth my time and who is not. Personally, I have been working rigorously for most of my life, to grow and develop as a person. The artwork that I wear has been a celebration of my deepening awareness and self-love, from the first. When I first chose to get a tattoo, I thought that it would be the only one that I would ever get. I identified a desire to ritualize the rite of passage, which was disentangling myself from my mother's 'mental illness' (read evil-psycho cuntyness). I took a stand for myself and told my parents and the doctors who had been abusing me and using me as a guinea pig, that I would not take their drugs any more. There is nothing in place in the society in which I live, to celebrate rites of passage. Since then, I have found an anarchistic, voluntarist and peaceful parenting community spread out worldwide in which any person can call together a circle to celebrate themselves or to greive, or for whatever you need, so long as it is not harmful. The tattoos that I wear, I designed and/or my younger sister designed and/or applied. This collaborative creativity for us has been in and of itself, healing. The artwork, some of which we both wear, reflects our philosophical and psychological writing of a new story together and reparenting ourselves, as well as redefining our relationship. This theme is reflected in the largest piece of artwork that I wear. That piece is a work depicting some of the inner landscape of the child inside me, reveling in my own wilndess and beauty, hiding and observing...It expands and contracts with my breath. Little eyes peek out from beneath or through my clothing, playfully. It has changed over the years with my body and one of the best things about it, is the way that it will continue to change including disintegrating with my flesh, as my flesh, dying when I die. I am an artist and I have always said, "I love creating out of every medium that I can get my hands into." The fumes from certain media may be carcinogenic. Photography chemicals are quite unhealthy. I love casting objects in clear plastic resin, but I would never do it druing a pregnancy. I eat organic and take good care of my health, and I enjoy the shit out of life, including getting my hands into all kinds of artistic media, even if they carry some risks. If somebody would teach me to weld and make large junk sculptures out of scrap metal, I would be psyched, although I know it could be dangerous. One thing which I would like to directly address from other comments is the recurring mention of the pain associated with tattooing. Different people have different experiences of physical sensations, sometimes drastically different, such as a particular yoga student of mine, who finds great relief of physical pain and discomfort, from maintaining a regular practice, but during the practice time, he finds every bit of strengthening and also stretching to be very painful. While women neccessarily are able to withstand childbirth, some women do not just withstand it, they orgasm during the experience. Others cry out for drugs to numb themselves after the first contraction. This is an interesting example to compare, as though my experiences as a doula, I have observed that the women who have experienced more drastic abuse in their lifetimes are consistently the ones who can not relax and open and definitely do not find pleasure in it. This is purely empirical observation; I cannot cite any study on this matter. It is however agreed on via concensus throughout the natural childbirth community. It is also complex and requires considering other facets besides any individual response to pain. Also, addressing this pain/pleasure spectrum theory from a personal perspective, I would like to compare sensations in my own self and my own tolerance to them: One person, with the same tolerance for pain experiencing two different sensations. The process of depilation, has to be maintained on a weekly or biweekly schedule. My skin is sensitive and will not tolerate certain means to attain that soft smoothness and I am also a person of sparse soft hair, which I mention only to highlight the fact that for most other people who wish to do this kind of body modification, it is more difficult and would therefore entail more pain as well as needing to be done more frequently. That is unless you are able and choose to have permenant laser treatments remove your hair, which I hear is extremely painful. Now, I will honestly tell you that tattooing does entail some pain, but the point that I would like to make here, is that comparatively, in my experience depilation is more painful than getting inked. And it often takes as long as or longer than some of my smaller tattoos. Very few people are getting tattooed as often as they must be waxed or electrolysised. Is it unprocessed trauma that has them feel the need to be less hairy than they are naturally as per the status quo and trends of popular culture? I hear that big bushy bushes are making a comeback in the U.S. Do you suppose that this correlates with the proportion of the population who are in therapy and processing their trauma? I would also like to touch briefly on the consideration of people who are obese. Yes, we can correlate obesity with trauma. However, we cannot correlate obesity with unprocessed trauma, just like we cannot say that tattoos would tell us anything about whether somebody's traumas have been healthfully addressed. Being overweight will change the metabolism and endocrinological functioning of many peoples' body systems permenantly and some people will not ever be able to do much to change their appearance. There is a sort of point of no return. Although surgeries can usually help, they are in and of themselves risky and traumatic. Similarly, the ink is mostly permenant and a person might have done a lot of work on themselves since the time of it's application. The only way that we can know the truth, is to commune.

We are not all female before we differentiate. We are BOTH, having Wolfian tubing and Mullerian tubing. However, developing female genitalia is sort of a default setting, in cases in which something disrupts the normal levels of hormones sufficient to trigger the male genitalia development, the mullerian tubing atrophies and the Wolfian remains becoming a womb and falloian tubes, etc, to simplify. There are so many anomolies and variations in genitalia/gendertyping that make the american dual gender system seem primitive. It is dismissive, small-minded. For example: "Boys with an XY karyotype who are born with a cloacal exstrophy (where they are either partly or completely missing a penis) are typically changed surgically into “girls” just after birth, and are given female hormone therapy and counseling. However, about half of these new girls later determine that they are really boys, and change their social gender when they become teenagers or adults. (Bao, Gooren 2006)" This article is quite informative: http://transascity.org/the-transgender-brain/ also please refer to: http://www.usrf.org/news/010308-guevedoces.html