Mister Hugz

Mr.Athens and you are quite welcome! I want to be clear on my communication of philosophy during the presentation. I essentially used an argument from effect after I provided the evidence. I said "If they found a substance in baby formula which caused lower IQ, higher risk of depression, and alcoholism, there would be a near overnight change in the industry." I felt that the evidence I was providing was overwhelming the audience (sorrowful thousand yard stares across the room and blank stares). This made me feel the need to go easy, and maintain the 'palatability' of the presentation, if that makes any sense. I avoided the argument from morality in hopes that the information wouldn't be bomb in the brain style smacked down only to harden the defenses. I approached it more like 'here guys I stumbled across some startling information, I hope it helps you'. After the presentation I struggled with some pretty heavy self criticism about my avoidance of the moral argument. The evidence the audience was showing (see above) helped to alleviate that criticism and the idea that philosophy isn't a rule book to beat myself up with was helpful as well. Thank you for your support

My pleasure, mahayana! I was quite tempted to weld my butt to my desk chair when the teacher said "next!". It feels good to hear that my post helps. If you would like more material on the subject I recommend this comprehensive review of over 200 studies. http://www.endcorporalpunishment.org/research/impact-corporal-punishment.html

Thank you dsayers, I appreciate the support! I will have to say that "I don't know" was not in my mind as an answer. I think the pressure to come up with something that sounded well thought out and compelling only served to exacerbate the feelings of anxiety. When I see a public speaker who has the ability to say "I am not sure", or "I dont know", I tend to feel like I can trust what they are saying. I will try to remind myself to stay grounded in the fact that I don't have all the answers next time. Well said sir! I felt the room go kind of cold after my exit from the stage. I think this perspective-> "In other words, it's easy to perpetuate; it takes exposure to contrasting ideas and a lot of difficult work to break the cycle", would have helped the audience feel like I understand depth and challenging nature of what I am saying. Again, thank you for your thoughtful reply!

Hello there! I wanted to share with y'all some of the research findings I came across whilst putting together a corporal punishment speech for my Psych 101 class. Also, if you are interested in my presentation experience: I read the presentation verbatim, but when it came to question time at the end of the speech, a flood of anxiety pulsed through my body.. The first question was 'why did you choose this topic?' I then thought to myself "good question! it seems i have misplaced my prefabricated response..." as I stared at the ground. I then answered with ' well I was spanked and this information Is super helpful to me. I want to help you out, especially if any of you want to become parents or are parents. Also, I am in therapy and this helped me to understand my fight or flight responses to a lot of things.' After this interaction I felt really nervous and had a hard time staying focused. The next person asked "Why do you think people tend to parent their children like they were parented?" I actually don't remember exactly what I said other than that it is a biological imperative for children to do what their parents do and something about genetics. The only thing I remember after that was that the same person asked another question and I didn't understand the question. I gave a head nod and said blankly "that's good" then walked back to my seat. My inner mom/critic has come up for me a lot in the days following the speech, which has given me some good material to bring into therapy. I would like to add that I am aware that the reason I am posting this is due to a compulsion or feeling to try to gain external validation. None the less, I hope it helps! P.s. I added 2 extra studies. 1 was the Harsh Corporal Punishment-Gray matter... 2 was Gene and gender environment interplay Spanking&Aggression-Pediatrics-2010-Taylor-415-24.pdf Spanking as Discipline PSYCH-101.doc Spanking and Childhood agression - Gene and Gender environment interplay2011.pdf diminishment of gray matter with HCP-2009.pdf CorporalPunishment-Cognitive abiltiy-Longitudinal- 2 representative age groups 2009.pdf corporal punishment study-NewZealand 2009.pdf 1- Maternal warmth, spanking and agression- Gershoff- Study2013.pdf

Joel you are the MAN!!Thank you for sharing this information.

I don't have any evidence to back any of this up at the moment, look yonder if you were looking for something more factual and philosophical. I think humans naturally evaluate the visual information people are putting out. In my experience, it takes a lot of mental energy to completely disconnect from those natural observations. I find it necessary to get the full picture of who and what the person is all about. The unconscious is your best friend when it comes to this. It is there to assimilate all the information e.g. voice projection, posture, eye contact, forced or natural laughing, etc. Hmm, at the moment i would say I'm ambivalent about how much a role it plays on my final impression of a person. If a person spends their time on a board like this and are having compassionate discussions with people who are trying to heal emotional wounds inflicted on them when they were children. It would be safe to say that they have the capacity to explore their own inner world to find out what could be the cause of discontent in their own lives. Therefore having a high possibility to make positive mental, emotional and physical health choices in their lives. This assessment has validity in my opinion. If a person manifests these virtues, will their physical appearance still rank higher on the hierarchy of values than those virtues? in my opinion, no. now if i met this hypothetical board person face to face and they looked like they were suffering from some severe weight problems and smoked cigarettes or whatever. I would be confused for one. But then i would still feel comfortable having a conversation with them about this serious issue because of my observations of their character on the board. sorry if this seems fragmented. (I need to work on my board skillz) Thanks for the post and interesting topic

Wow! I enjoyed reading your intro. I am glad to hear you kept exploring yourself and opening yourself up to these ideas, especially the RTR. In my opinion that relentless self exploratory spirit will help you when the going gets tough emotionally. Thanks welcome!

Welcome to the boards!

Thanks for the sweet intro Rachelann. I think your passion for coaching and helping parents connect with their children is awesome! The sensitivity and communication skills you have developed from your health coaching will surely aid that connective process. good stuff Welcome!

This is awesome Coreforcruxes! thanks for the post!

This is stimulating eargasms for me at the moment. https://soundcloud.com/mrlittlejeans/suburbs

Yeah I think you're right, DaVinci. Listening to these podcasts help out in this area SO MUCH! It's like having a compass in rough seas for sure.

I agree, it is not accurate. Can i change murderer to killer?

Thanks for posting DaVinci! I agree with you. I just had some additional questions in the first paragraph below / Thank you so much Kevin, that clears things up a bunch. I am new to self knowledge and I heard a podcast of stef talking about how a therapist will be there to help you to avoid regression and process the emotions in an adult way. I think what we are doing here is the adult part. We are talking about thoughts and feelings. I am HUGELY thankful for all of your guys' insight and thoughtful input! But if I had not come here to talk about it, would It have been a regressive experience? would feeling pain in the moment, internalize the thoughts and never actually process them be the dangerous part? Thoughts and feelings. What I felt the moment I exposed that wound was pure hate. Sadistic rage. I felt that my mom is dead to me as I am dead to her. Crawling into her evil rotting skin sends shivers down my spine. I thought I FUCKING HATE HER. She wanted me dead the moment she gave birth to me (she had postpartum depression after I was born). I think my subconscious processed this reality a long time ago when I was about 12 years old. I had a dream. This dream was one of those dreams that were hyper realistic. In the dream I woke up from my nap to a police officer at my doorstep ringing the doorbell. I opened the door and they said is the residents of "insert moms name" and i said yes. Then the officer said I'm sorry son, but your mother has just been in a fatal car accident. The sheer terror that I felt woke me up and I was hysterically crying and screaming at my stepdad that MOM IS DEAD MOM IS DEAD!. He had to calm me down and reassure me over and over that she was just at the store getting groceries. I appreciate the feedback Slavik. For the danger part read above ^ I have always been conditioned and trained to have empathy for my mom. It feels scary but good to have empathy for myself for once! I feel like I need to break that slave mentality. "the imagined old abusers face, is actually yourself as a child" this hit home for me hardcore. Thank you This conversation has been great and I greatly appreciate all of you posting!